SuicidalBallsack
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Sorry, i just need to vent.
My family forgot my birthday, again...
This happened a lot when i was kid. I remember the first time. I thought they were gonna throw a surprise party. Once it hit 1pm and everyone was still just chillin, i knew something was off. I asked my dad if we were going anywhere today, "not that i'm aware of, why?", he asked. What a fucking gut punch. It was now 5pm and i was upset. I started crying (bad move) and immediately got punished for it. "Boys don't cry!"
This kept happening and is the main reason I hate my birthday.
I still don't care for my birthday but having this happen just brings back all those memories of neglect and abuse.
I tried dropping hints but i felt so stupid for trying to get my own parents to remember my birthday. I hate it. Yesterday was just a normal day and that makes me feel like absolute shit.
I'm 36, this shouldn't bother me?...
Why did this hit me so hard? Sorry y'all, i'm done now. Hope you all have an amazing birthday.
Edit: whoa you guys, i love you all so much! y'all genuinely making me cry. i was not prepared for this. i made this post and passed out. Woke up to a bunch of bday wishes. You all are so damn sweet!
FP Edit: This is a late edit but wow. You guys... I'm so overwhelmed. Thank you much for all the support and "fuck you"s to my family. You guys are so sweet and hilarious as well. I love all your ideas and jokes. You really know how to make someone feel loved. I LOVE THIS COMMUNITY!
Doismellbacon
Happy birthday @OP! Hope you've had a great day so far!!
SignedEpsteinsMother
Happy birthday! I can tell you from having older and younger siblings that this seems to happen a lot with middle children. The oldest is the Golden Child, and the youngest is The Baby, and the middle kid(s) gets the short straw. The best thing you can do for yourself is to celebrate yourself. Always make plans for yourself for your bday. Forget your relatives, focus on letting your friends help celebrate you. You'll be happier.
LebistusReticulatis
Happy birthday! Even if they neglect you, it is your new round around the sun. That you may have many and happy ones
Timpani
I shall celebrate my sons birthdays as long as we live. I am so very sorry your parents didn’t remember yours. Have a dad hug.
Xariarra
Happy birthday!! =)
SuicidalBallsack
Thank you thank you! Im still not used to getting bday wishes consistently! It feels weird but def feels good. Thank you for remembering me.
EmeraldNight
Happy birthday, friendo.
SuicidalBallsack
Thank you so much. I wasn’t prepared for this. Still not used to getting CONSISTENT birthday wishes. It’s weird but cool at the same time if that makes sense. Thank you!
iarsma
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! I'm sorry that your family sucks, you deserve better than that.
SuicidalBallsack
Thank you! Omg I wasn’t prepared for birthday wishes. You rock! And they do suck. They give me so much anxiety, it’s unhealthy. But free living so makes me feel bad for feeling this way. Ugh. Thank you again!
TravvyPattie
I'm the youngest of 8 and the only boy, I understand exactly what you're going through. It's unfortunate we cannot choose our parents or how they think and feel but we can use our pain to help others get through that same pain a little easier. I don't speak with my parents hardly at all anymore @31 years old, not sure if they care but my mental health has greatly improved. Hopefully you find resolution soon, Happy Birffday internet friend!!
mrthewhitee
Happy birthday! Yes it should absolutely bother you that this still happens. Celebrating someone's birthdays is about once a year reminding that person you care about them and think about them and are glad they were born. Family not even acknowledging your birthday is a high insult imo.
42peanuts
Oh honey, hugs and loves. My advice? Master the power of guilt. Make your birthday next year amazing, take a vacation or something. Party out of spite then make sure you drop it into conversation. You can do it.
RTK4740
It hit you “so hard,” because you’re a grown man with feelings that are not strangled into silence. Their forgetting sends a message. A strong one. Grieve tjr loss of a family who loves you and build one who does. That’s all you can do—grow anew. You’re worth it.
SickBound
Dude he's venting not asking advice on if he should leave his family...
RTK4740
Fair.
JokenPo0079
It's not really about the birthday, it's about people showing that they care enough about you to remember (or make a reminder of) an important day for you. As someone who constantly struggles with the feeling that people don't really care about you, having the people you care about seemingly not making any note of something important to you is gut wrenching. It's okay to be bothered about it. Hopefully you have or can find other people in your life who will stick with you, dood.
Tigersmilk24
^^This. Sorry @SuicidalBallsack but Happy Birthday from a stranger on the west coast. <3 You matter, you are valued and it's ok to cry about something that is upsetting to you.
SuicidalBallsack
Thanks you guys. I'm sorry i'm responding much later, there are so many comments! If i read too many i start tearing up. i don't know where i would be without my imgur community. Y'all are my rock fr!
DankFerric
Hey @OP hap Birf!
SuicidalBallsack
Thank!
vladimirtheliberator
Happy birthday, my dude, I hope you have a better one!
LylaLexie
Happy birthday friend! You deserve to have an amazing day despite your family’s horrible abuse and neglect. I know I’m just an random internet stranger but I want you to know I care about you and will be thinking about you today. :-)
Dannoboyo
I atched my wife's father do this to her again and again. I never forgave him for letting her prepare Christmas and Thanksgiving and cancelling at the last minute. She still wishes he would change, so she could feel better. But even though it sucks he never will, even though she was expected to wait on him hand and foot. YOU do something nice for YOU. Just know that if you asked, a Pizza Angel would appear for you, because you do matter here.
trinxter
Happy birthday!!!
SuicidalBallsack
Thank you!
kgirl924
Happy Birthday! I think you should go out and get the most delicious cake ever, your abzolute favorite, just take a fork and eat the whole dang thing right out of the box! Maybe take a picture of yourself eating it with a big middle finger in the air and send it to your family just to rub it in how happy and full of cake you are.
SuicidalBallsack
HAHAHA! I love that idea! I'll def be sure to get my favorite cake, Tres Leches baby!
kgirl924
Ooh that's a GOOD ONE... Enjoy! 😋😋😋
MireLurkKing
Sounds like you need to get some new family.
muleioleelu
Happy birthday, honey!! 🥳
DustyBibbles
Bro I feel you. No one but my mom makes a big deal of it. I get a generic card with some cash from a grandpa and my mom cries because she can't get me anything. I assure her that it's fine, send a thank you text, and then head to work. It's been like this for 20 something years, and I've gotten to the point where I just don't care anymore. If I have the money, I'll buy myself a snack I've been craving and just go about my day.
DustyBibbles
Before anyone asks, I am poor and grew up poor, I've had a serious talk with ma and told her that just having her as my mom is enough, but she's ma and I can appreciate that and the grandpa is a distant one that wants to he around but can't and it's his way if saying "hey, I'm still around" it's nice and all, but just once, I'd love to be wisked away by friends and spoiled a bit. Fuck, any one just saying "hey, I see you and I appreciate you". It would bring me to tears.
meatsmokertx
LPT: you can eat ice cream even when it's not dessert :) happy 36th homie
Hotsauceman
Happy almost birthday you beautiful bastard!!!!!
SuicidalBallsack
Hotsauceman, love that name and thank you! Im not used to this still but it def feels good being remembered. Ppl that live under the same roof as me forget yet you remembered me. Hurts and feels good typing that… Thank you!
Hotsauceman
Reminds me of last year. Being a new parent. Stress of having a new kid, going to the ER for stress. Not even my wife saying, “happy birthday” (can’t blame her as she had a baby ripped out of her. You are remembered here
secretoaster
My family ignores my birthday. No big deal.
SuicidalBallsack
It normally isn't for me as is per the norm but it hit different this time.
secretoaster
You always have the choice to pick yourself over them.
RedWingedBlackbirds
Happy Birthday @op Happy Birthday @op Happy Birthday @SuicidalBallsack Happy Birthday to you! And many mooore! 🥳
SuicidalBallsack
Aww, thanks man!
CanIGetSomeExtraSalt
as an adult you can go have your own party with hookers and cocaine
HardDoseOfReality
I need to try this next year
CanIGetSomeExtraSalt
what are you doing next weekend?
HardDoseOfReality
Being lonely at home most likely
BigBuckeyeZ
That is a good way to celebrate and I speak from experience (Lisa from Denver, you still cross my mind) but age is critical. Either great time or attempting to push a marshmallow in a piggy bank
bekindtoanimals
HAHAHAHA!!!
krs84
With blackjack and hookers. Actually forget the blackjack.
PlatypusPowersActivate
AuntieBeer
SpecialContainmentProcedures
I personally don't recommend either of those... but you could do D&D and chocolate or something.
b00sk0r
anaberration
Or just the cocaine and the internet....
GeneratingSelf
And then waste the rest of your money.
HeRulesWithARubberFist
wazscience
Don't forget blackjack....
theoriginalgiga
C141Clay
Marikhen
Well, I suppose that's one way to see an Insane Clown Pussy showing.
Marikhen
Just gotta be careful that the hooker isn't your sister and the cocaine isn't her second boyfriend's.
CanIGetSomeExtraSalt
what the hell happened here?
Goldenteckel
Happy birthday from Paris, fellow Imgurian, despite what's going on. I'm raising a glass of good Gewurztraminer in celebration of your 36th.
BeccaBeccaBoBecca
@op, happy birthday from Houston! I’m raising a glass to you as well. Cheers, Santé, Prost
WhiskeyJak
GoodEarthBetweenMyToes
And I'll raise my gin and tonic! Happy birthday, bud. I know exactly how you feel.
TheFoothillThatStrides
Happy birthday from Seattle. I'll inject one whole marijuana in your honor.
titsalad
Yeah I'll tip up a seltzer for you too kid.
SuicidalBallsack
Merci! :) i really appreciate! Hope all is well in Paris!
Goldenteckel
All is well, thank you very much ! I'll be working all along the summer, but will have my share of museums (I renew several subscription cards every year) and strolls along the river Seine.
SuicidalBallsack
That sounds awesome. I love museums! Visited a lot when i was in New York. I'll be working on my car this summer! :)
Goldenteckel
I hope that the result will meet all your expectations ! As for museums, you have your share of awesome ones, on your side of the ocean. And they include many major european works, as for the Frick collection.
SuicidalBallsack
I didn't get to see the Frick collection :/ but i did visit The MoMa, The Met, The Guggenheim (sorry if that's wrong) and the 9/11 Museum as well! That museum hit me like a ton of bricks... I couldn't stop crying. There was so much more but little time and money.
THEmichaelscarn12
I see that word and think that's how one would type out a sneeze in German
CrackWhoresAndCheese
Gesundheit! (health)
KingXizor
It's a good variety of semi-dry wine
THEmichaelscarn12
Hellstorm99
Hey brother, I too am 36. You can cry, to hell with anyone who says otherwise. I am sorry for the shit deal you have had. Which day is your birthday? I’ll program an alarm in my phone to message you next year, as long as you promise to still be here and fighting on… your username worries me.
AshesVonDust
Happy birthday! Hope I will be on time next year
zephyrbell
I'm also 36 and my parents were neglectful too. We should start a club for 36 year olds and play video games or something
sv1rr
I'm 42 and i can't cry. All the toxicity growing up switched the faucet off for good when i was 13. Damn, I miss a good cry.
stevelepastis
Love you and @op. You guys rock!
SuicidalBallsack
omg, you guys are making me tear up!
Hellstorm99
@op I know they tagged you on this already in the last comment… but I wanted to double down on the point that there are always people who care. I often forget this, and am thankful to have people remind me sometimes.
Sayagain
As a fellow 36 year old, let me know what day and where we are celebrating
Hellstorm99
Not sure if they have seen this yet, but if need be, I’ll celebrate the f*** out of any user who needs me for their birthday. I hate my birthday… never had a single party, friends and ex”s never gave me a single gift. I don’t want anyone to have to deal with that. I almost had a birthday party, but then a manipulative asshole made me feel to blame for losing it due to my actions, which ended up being someone else’s fault. When’s your birthday friend? I’ll program the reminder in now
Hellstorm99
Gonna deduce this out from what they said. “Yesterday” “36 years old” got it. 6/23/87 @SuicidalBallsack I’ll see you in 364 days if not sooner
Hellstorm99
SuicidalBallsack
Thanks 99! the username is in reference to my low hanging fruit that gets bruised often! The day is the 23rd. you rock my friend. i appreciate you! all these comments is a bit overwhelming to say the least!
chronozoan
Being older gives all the more reason to cry, if anything. You understand more of the world. But that's not necessarily a bad thing, because it also, for me at least, makes me much more appreciative of the good in the world. Contextualizes I guess.
sallyendawesome
I also made an alarm! Don't worry, next year you won't be forgotten. We got you
SuicidalBallsack
Sally! You truly are AWESOME! Tysm :)
Hellstorm99
I gotchu buddy.
SuicidalBallsack
Dude...
PotatOSLament
And another
SuicidalBallsack
aww man, that's so fucking sweet of y'all!
Hellstorm99
You don’t have to go it alone. We are here, just… you have to remember to reach out. We are listening.