tinybluedot5
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Wasn’t sure what meme to use, this seemed neutral enough. Anyway I have a bunch of mental illness problems that are basically under control, but my mood can shift a lot. Not usually in one day, but from week to week or month to month I can feel like a totally different person. After years of hard work I’m pretty good at keeping it together and have done pretty well for myself and have a great job. But I always wonder if people at work, who see and interact with me 40 hours a week but don’t know me well personally, can pick up on me acting weird or different or just notice that my personality is inconsistent.
I particularly wonder if they notice a difference in how much I talk. There are times when I basically can’t stop talking (like today, see: my Imgur comments and this post) and other times when I don’t want to speak or communicate at all for days at a time. I have been diagnosed bipolar II and while I haven’t had any real depressive or hypomanic episodes in a long time what I experience now is basically a very mild version of those cycles. It doesn’t really matter but today was a day where I could not shut up at a meeting and it just reminded me that I really wonder how I come off to people.
tl;dr sometimes I can’t shut up at work and I wonder if anyone notices or thinks I’m weird
WellThatsOriginal
It's probably a relief to them that you are like them. I think we all have that "Other" side.
cdub77
We notice.
atotalmoron
Do they notice...
sweetfeetpete
Well, your “coworkers” are just your other personalities so... yes?
belikeron
People notice. If you are a dick about it people will just avoid you.
Freemammograms
Everybody's talking about it.
ElsoKukaba
Yes
tinybluedot5
Oh no
neos501
My depression would swing like that. Some days I wouldn't say a thing, for 10 hours. Mgmt would ask if I wanted to go home. They knew (1/2)
neos501
I suffered from depression. I didn't ever go home because of it, but I appreciated the kind gestures from them. (2/2)
tinybluedot5
That is really nice. I’ve debated telling my manager about it but I’m not really sure how it would help. If I think of something concrete
tinybluedot5
I need though, I’ll definitely bring it up
gewalt
yes, absolutely, 100% yes. very much so.
tinybluedot5
wait really or are you all fucking with me
gewalt
really. and heres why its ok; as a manager, I dont expect you to be perfectly you every day. youre human, its alright, turns out, I am too
tinybluedot5
oh. thank you. I kinda thought everyone would say “don’t worry, ppl don’t pay that much attention to you,” but this helps too
CALAMOSCOPYJANE
I love you. I love your mood changes. They're is nothing wrong with you. You are a beautiful spirit and the world needs you desperately.
tinybluedot5
Omg, this is beautiful, thank you. I have been a tad manic all day and it’s really really frustrating. This is so nice to read.
zebulorg
I may not be as extreme as you are, but if you're good at what you do and good to your coworkers/friends, they notice, but it's okay 1/2
zebulorg
Just because they notice doesn't mean it's a bad thing. It's a personality trait, just like any other.
tinybluedot5
That’s a good way to think of it, thanks!
zebulorg
Yeah of course! If you want to talk about it more, I'm open. I also think about things like this a lot.
tinybluedot5
Thanks!
threechis
Depends how much you interact with them. Are you worried about it? Depending on your work sitch you could tell HR. No one else’s bidness.
tinybluedot5
I’m not really worried about it bc I get good feedback on my work, and it may seem more extreme to me than t others.
threechis
Oh true, we are so critical of ourselves generally.
tinybluedot5
Uh huh