Don't you know, women are purely one dimensional characters that can be judged based on a single 20 second clip, regardless of them actually speaking or doing anything mean. They can't both be fun and mentally stable, or athletic and enjoy to relax, that's impossible!
It's funny you should mention that cause my wife is kinda like this and I knew she was a keeper when she threatened to stab one of my friends. In her defense he's very stabable.
snortzwhenlaughing
OpenMouthHotKiss
The laugh is what I imagine a gremlin witch sounds like
nothingtolurkhere
I'll bet drinks were involved somehow.
mrbadxampl
I'm probably too boring for her
pete484
Rocking a business suit, too?!?!
lightfoot2
Meth is an amazing drug.
Bombadorfe
She totally just ruined her stockings.
KILLERCHROMATIC
What, an alcoholic?
pelon365
Those drunken shenanigans would get old real quick. Spoken as a true expert at fun drunken relationships. Marry your better angels, not your demons
piratejimthedagger
That's the kinda woman we tell you not to stick your dick in.
Muunk
She certainly commits. Or was committed. Or should be?
JuniperJupiter
Not once does she break a heel or lose her shoes. That's the most impressive part.
TsubakiTragic
In heels and never missed a step.
PigsCanJump
Freak in the streets and freak in the sheets
Baskerville84
wetAnimal
Girls being girls
AisforApple
When she says she's down for anything, and she fuckin means it.
trueunpopularopinions
Or up in
AisforApple
Lol, that was the correct version of this joke.
futuremonkey
What you aren’t saying is that she regularly does the same thing while evading police
idrinkcheapbeer
I WAS married to one of those. It aint all wine and roses.
DangerBaer
High highs, and low lows?
AtsaMattaForMe
ultimatecrazy
Those of us that have worn hosiery know she has just ripped hers.
Luvlyquants
Climbing trees is not a sufficient condition to be a good partner. :)
BryanTenn
Especially if that means they can quickly climb walls even after you get a restraining order.
TheRealGritty
It is if your are monke
theBonyEaredAssfish
Works for monkeys. And they seem a lot happier than me...
Cabreza
It is if you own a struggling coconut plantation
BalanceProblems
Very true brother. A palm oil plantation, thats a dif story
AliceAndRabbit
What about being silly and goofy and spontaneous? Like climbing a tree in heels at night?
Larkins
What if you have a cat that is prone to getting stuck in a tree?
emjay9010
That's what firemen are for.
victell
But I am le tall.
stilloldbull
Like anyone here could keep up!
HUGHgReaction
In high heels too! A keeper
OddlyPacific
They usually wear cleats
weidermeijer
Them ain’t tree climbing shoes.
thefinpope
On the contrary.
HisDudness
If she can run in heels, she a hoe. I have no idea what being able to do all this in heels means.
SaintSleepyWeasel
I hope that suit isn't expensive because that tree fucked it for sure.
Botticelliii
Whoever is filming this is a damn cartoon character themselves lmao
Seggs
Arbitrarynamehere
wicked witch vibes
fierofool
Right, got the doctor evil laugh going on
guitar3544
Sounds like Mad Madam Mim from Sword in the Stone.
ihavebrowneyes
I came to say this!
SoundFuture
MacCrack
Too bad I am not the kind of man she should marry.
spaceindian
id prefer someone who likes to watch movies and fall asleep on the couch
jesuisgur
That's the same person 10 years later...
weidermeijer
That’s not her. You don’t actually want to fall asleep in the same room with her.
Tybeedude
Oh....Amen to that....
MrBananaPants
Everyone sleeps
NoTeEnchiles
How do you know she doesn't?
aloharamada
Don't you know, women are purely one dimensional characters that can be judged based on a single 20 second clip, regardless of them actually speaking or doing anything mean. They can't both be fun and mentally stable, or athletic and enjoy to relax, that's impossible!
NoTeEnchiles
/s man.
tzahtman
TedDansoninthedark
What if your couch is on top of a tree?
Christoftaylor
She seems…. feral
justfillingthespace
Just how I like 'em.
SteersAndQueers
Don't craze your dick is sticky.
TwoForSpookin
She’ll stab your ass, too
SLAYEROFSQUIRRELLS
I was just here to say this woman should be feard
ShitIcantfindausername
LurkinNoodle
Drugs is a helluva drug!
saturdaynightdistraction
This keeps getting better and better!
Harbltron
Oh God please
JennaLand
She'll stab your ass too 666 ...
DarthGoodguy
TheOneAndOnlyButtStabber
or she calls me
LuLuPennyAndOdium44
But it was pictures of her only thinner!
Donoiw
And literally your ass
trhopkins
Scratch and claw, im thinking!
DrunkKingOfImgur
Sometimes you gotta be willing to risk a stabbing or two to find wife material like that!
SleeperXib
This guy gets it
Kyengen
It's funny you should mention that cause my wife is kinda like this and I knew she was a keeper when she threatened to stab one of my friends. In her defense he's very stabable.
ERKNEES
SoftKleenex
You think I'm playing?
MileysVirus
She'll key your shit
Ja5per
No need for a poop knife then. Stonks!
NoahFoxGiven
coothlesscthulhu
ClownishAntics
probablyobvious
Handle thread?
cellardoor42
Wood screw
zaqx