xpixelboxer
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How to escape a sinking car
Jul 2, 2016 10:43 AM
xpixelboxer
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bonnettt
I've been girding up my loins all wrong
hefter02
Yeah when I pull ticks off of me I either burn them till they pop or crush them under a spoon. No mercy for those fuckers
MacNero00
How to: robot edition.
fernacular
a lot of these seem like good things for anyone to know, not just men, but okay.
m1crowaveman
Finally, instructions for girding my loins.
LawFiveGuy
lightly fried fish fillets, at 1:15am, of course
RozzAMcGee
just don't use motherfucking pliers on them.
Justinstallsecurityessentials
Fall into icy water? Dont breath in, the shock should wear off in 1-3 MINUTES
eqfan592
My wife actually had to kick the door in after being locked out. She thought I'd be pissed, but I can't stop bragging about its awesomeness!
Atlas008
When attacked by a wild dog: want a stick boy? Do ya?? Go get it!
utgort
As I said the other 27 times this was posted, before kicking the door turn the knob.
RGEpicMrT
In the case of #2, the Mythbusters had a great episode talking about escaping a sinking car and concluded that the best thing to do is (1/?)
RGEpicMrT
Wait until the car has completely filled with water (As terrible as that sounds, it's actually to equalize the pressure in the car) (2/?)
ASDFFDSAASDFASDF
that was standard advice in the 50s-70s. then they changed it
RGEpicMrT
Use the door to leave. Opening or breaking the window can be too difficult underwater due to water pressure and opening the door when (3/?)
RGEpicMrT
The car isn't completely filled is also difficult due to the same reason. This method of escaping sinking cars actually saved a fan's (4/?)
RGEpicMrT
Life. Sauce for the fan who's life was saved https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vs7E6nM9g5w
RozzAMcGee
no, you push out the front or rear window with your feet.
ilikebenches
btw like most of mythbusters things this is all total bullshit. best thing to do is get out immediately.
iforgotwhatiwasdoinghere
"You want to practice?" "Nah, I'm good. I saw a thing on the internet once."
Wetouchingbuttsornah
basically
nrrrrrdgrrrrrl
I'm fine; I mentally rehearsed the scenario before it happened.
BudgyDodgyFarkle
Def gotta practice the ninja shit at work, so no one tries to put pine cones under my ass!
EbbandFlow
I bet these were all made by Ron Swanson
MateriaCaelestis
I don't remember Ron Swanson ever talking about manliness or gender politics
Algher
He doesn't need to.
MateriaCaelestis
I wish the same would be true for the guys who worship his brand of masculinity
TheBronzeKneecap
Anybody know where that diagram of all the different pussy lips and each way to eat them went ? That should be here.
Arracor
... dot
aechopshop98
Definitely read in a whisper on the ninja instructions.
Usernamesarejustlabels
Dog attack - get bitten
ThatShiftyMonkey
My strategy in a dog attack has always been to give it my right forearm and punch it in the face until it realizes I'm the alpha.
imagurk
I walked like that as a kid all the time, up hours past bedtime. Nearing 40, it's impossible. Everything creaks/snaps now. -10 to stealth.
Cyderdelic
Im just about to roll up my shirt sleeves and hold and eat a burger.
BreenW
Woman edition: 1. How to take a selfie. 2. How to systematically destroy a workplace 3. How to portray vulnerability to get a promotion.
TheSexiestRaccoonEver
Man edition: how to bitch and moan and talk about 1950s sexism like it's funny. Hah.
MostTriumphant
I'd favorite this, but it'll be on the front page next week.
scotskies
Ninja has never encountered Lego...
kmikl
Yes. They have. Many times. Now, they just steal the Lego.
lilmookieesquire
It's the modern day caltrop
Acrowandababy
Or a UK 3pin plug. Ouch.
scotskies
Can confirm.
pixarpizza
Or an american one, those hurt too.
cumbieritaintelectual
Can't wait to go back to work on Monday to casually gird up my loins while wearing a summer dress.
adribear
Since it wasn't mentioned, your head rest is an "auto rescue tool". Remove it and use it to break the glass in the case of a sinking car.
tsx1
False info/myth. http://www.snopes.com/car-headrests-emergency-escape/
djimbojones
Also since it isn't mentioned, for fucks sake DON'T kneel in front of a charging dog. That's the stupidest shit I've ever seen.
djimbojones
Face dog, back away slowly. Dog gets close, start picking your knees up high, sharply. Knee under the jaw is dog kryptonite, & dog knows it.
RandomFellowImgurian
Seeing a lot of disapproval over this comment. Gonna need a Mythbuster for this one!
pixarpizza
I have some bad news for you, then...
tinypurrito
Its been proven to be false unfortunately. Best way, if you dont have one of those things listed in the picture, is to wait til the car 1/2
tinypurrito
2/2 fills with water and equalizes, then open the door.
Dreigiau
most head rests do have the metal posts in them. you can use the post on the head rest instead of your elbow. not perfect but better
Leithoa
I can't get those out sitting in my driveway & you expect me to pull one out after a wreck while I'm sinking ‽
catalystdwarf
really? i did not know that
NoDanaOnlyZuuuuul
Thanks buddy
AllYourPeppermintAreBelongToMe
Urban myth.
cyno01
Not the reason theyre removable, but the bottom of a headrest post is pretty similar to the business end of purpose made window breakers.
OcelotMatrix
Sorry they downvoted you.
JustinHudson
Maybe, but if it saves a life, who cares
Couldnotthinkofagoodusername
It won't. There is not enough mass in the headrest, nor is the point pointy enough, to break the glass. Also, many won't come off easily 1/2
Couldnotthinkofagoodusername
2/2 enough to be a good option even if they could break the glass.
H3rrTr1gg3r
I'm almost positive that automakers aren't making headrests double as window punches, I'll try to do this sometime and post my findings.
RozzAMcGee
well, they fucking should.
Hypercube9
It won't work on the windshield! Try it on the back window since it's the next largest & you'll be going down front first so that way's up.
CSJones
Why would you try to break the windshield?
Hypercube9
I wouldn't. But there was no one on here saying not to and it'd be a shame if all these people with their hammers didn't know that & died.
IeatBussy
Loins one is slow, where I come from you hold it with your mouth. And run towards yoyr destination/enemy
mindstorm8191
That "3 points of contact at all times" rule for ladders is my hard rule for climbing trees. That, and never trust a dead branch
ISmellLikeCedar
Girding up my loins as we speak.
ASDFFDSAASDFASDF
you have to have been wearing a dress to do that though?
Carrotmaster
It does not need to be a dress. It can be a tunic (as mentioned), a kilt, or a "man-dress."
VinoVeritas
I will probably end up doing that next time I get hot in my maxi dress. or, you know, go into battle with said maxi dress.
112864
how to smoke: don't
Carrotmaster
Good message for the children! ;D
I2obiN
Every time I see this I know no one who has an auto rescue tool.
13Alpha
I have one in every vehicle. It's a lot cheaper than life insurance.
adribear
In this event, take the head rest off of your seat and use it to break the window. That's why the ends are pointed that way. <3 TMYK
TheThirdKindofHeat
They can be used that way, but it's not something to rely on. Federal standards say nothing about designing them so they can break windows.
Carrotmaster
Giving 'im the book, I see.
Bamcat
They are really cheap and good to have. Mine cost $3 and also has a seatbelt cutter. Used it once to get a baby out of car on a hot day.
buttermyarse
Someone had left a baby in their car?!
Bamcat
The Mum was there, she accidentally locked the keys in. It was over 40C and we were in the middle of nowhere.
Bamcat
She had been trying to break the window with a rock and couldn't get it to break.
Carrotmaster
Are you from the Isles, sir?
buttermyarse
God that must have been awful. It was lucky you were there.
Bamcat
She looked so frantic I had to stop. I'm a midwife/nurse, if I see someone distressed I have to see if I can help.
ChloeRed
I don't have one in my car. I do carry for work a strong screwdriver in the front of my handbag. One day I'll have to try it against glass.
I2obiN
Do back windows shatter a lot easier? My brother did in my Mum's back window on her Almera, but the car is from 96. Complete accident lol
ChloeRed
back and sides should be the same glass, so it'd just be down to size when working out "easier". It's not something I could try...
pandro
apparently they are not, though. also, one is easier to break towards the edge than in the middle. hopefully someone can tell us lol.
ChloeRed
In my car, the larger areas (windscreen/rear windscreen) the glass extends over the metalwork, so the "edge" is actually a distance in.
ChloeRed
...in the water situation, as driving a mondeo, the rear window is a long way from the driver! ;)
MaybeGrapes
I eat my burgers upside down. The top bun is thicker and catches more liquid before becoming moist.
TalHere
YAY, I'm not the only engineer of eating!
RozzAMcGee
thank fuck i'm not the only one!
MaybeGrapes
Dozens of us!
RozzAMcGee
DOZENS I TELL YOU!
Igotsickofmyoldusername
I like how a website mostly of 13 year olds determines what qualifies as manliness.
szepasszony
And the only one of these that is even remotely related to being a man only relates to men who wear tunics.
visce
I've tried doing this with a long skirt before. Made me feel good and ready for battle.
szepasszony
Cool! I loves me a good man in a skirt.
thelastpistachio
It's like using the coin and elastic method for securing your skirt when cycling! I also let loose a war cry as I cycle around.
szepasszony
Where do I find more about the coin and elastic method of skirt folding? Google is not being helpful-I just get a lot of sewing stuff.
thelastpistachio
This is the video that taught me how to do it: https://vimeo.com/98808131 Penny in Yo Pants!
TheSexiestRaccoonEver
Man edition? Wow, good thing women don't need to know how to fillet fish, save themselves from falling through ice, or anything else!
xpixelboxer
I hoped that I trigger someone hehehe
zagibu
Women who fall through ice all die, because they have no beards that can freeze on the ice and save them.
SevereRupture
What about dwarven women?
zagibu
They are a myth.
nagellak
Didn't you know, dummy? Our job is to sit back, look pretty, and let men do all the cool stuff!
BigOleDingus69
That's why you go read the woman edition!
joeyjojosharknado
It was clearly more than a bit tongue in cheek. If nothing else the burger and ninja thing clearly gave it away. But then, this is Imgur...
joeyjojosharknado
You have to go to Tumblr to find an equivalent level of misdirected outrage. Satire is too complex for this crowd, apparently.
TheSexiestRaccoonEver
It's not satire. You thinking it's satire clearly means you don't know what satire is.
joeyjojosharknado
It's mild satire, but satire nonetheless. The ninja and burger thing clearly give it away. It's you who's too thick to realise this. Child.
TheSexiestRaccoonEver
Noted that mild misogynistic comments are satire. Well that sounds about right-o for this site, imbecile.
boxoffunfacts
Please don't be silly. Let us have our fun, for pity's sake. No one is stopping you from reading this and applying it.
TheSexiestRaccoonEver
If a unisex graphic said "Women's Edition" so many would be saying the same thing.
AuntieShanShan
Triggered ^
TheSexiestRaccoonEver
Lmao you sound like an idiot who gets offended at people standing up for themselves.
AuntieShanShan
Nah I was saying they were triggered, not me. Chillllllllllllllllllllllll
ArtArchive
Sounds like you're in need of a "How to Grow Up and Stop Being Overly Sensitive".
TheSexiestRaccoonEver
Sounds like you're in need of "How to Stop Telling Women to Not Be Offended at Sexist Things" or at least "Learning to Mind My Own Business"
GoodGuyRiggs
I think you should apply that to yourself. Nice username though.
ArtArchive
Regarding that second one: you're posting your comment on a public image site. Everyone's free to interject their opinion just as you have.
TheSexiestRaccoonEver
You're right. I'm giving my opinion on a post & your giving yours on my opinion. Which probably why you're currently at -4. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
ArtArchive
That's important if you care about popularity more than being right.
bitchgoblet
Just curious why these are penis exclusive
andyar
I imagine it's hard to skip a stone without a penis. Throws off your balance and coordination.
joeyjojosharknado
You'd think the ninja and burger thing clearly show that it was all very tongue in cheek. Still a bit too subtle for Imgur apparently..
LearnedCoward
If you don't have an auto rescue tool, a raging hard on will suffice
xpixelboxer
#triggersuccesfull
melraelee
Because women can already handle this stuff.
AuntieShanShan
Triggered ^
roadkillnecromancer
They really aren't, but whether it be "Woman Edition" or "Man Edition" your comment is part of a quota that must be filled. So thank you.
ruthbaderginsburg
Ditto, I'm getting sick of "manly this" and "manly that." Why's everyone ego tripping over who's "a real man?"
catalystdwarf
becaus being able to rescue oneself or someone else from dying in icy water is ... a good thing?
darthlordvadermort
Right, it should just be seen as a good thing, not a "manly" thing. As if women have an excuse to not also know these things.
TheSexiestRaccoonEver
Thank you.
catalystdwarf
for a man, it is a manly thing.
darthlordvadermort
Okay, I can kind of see that. So for women then it's a womanly thing?
TheSexiestRaccoonEver
Right? It's almost as if this should be directed toward both sexes since it's important and can be done by both. Crazy!
joeyjojosharknado
They're clearly not terribly serious. Dear Lord some of you are practically tripping over yourselves in your eagerness to be offended.
TheSexiestRaccoonEver
I am serious. And yeah, some of us are offended and now we're standing up for ourselves but you can just fucking get over it.
catalystdwarf
I think it's good for anyone to be able to do helpful things. Why criticize that? Isn't it manly for a man to do good things?
TheSexiestRaccoonEver
"Manly" to me is something that is done by a man. If you're a man and you want to cry, then do it. Be manly. 1/2
catalystdwarf
are you fucking kidding me?
TheSexiestRaccoonEver
Nah, I'm in agreement. Wtf does 'filleting fish' have to be directed at only guys? Dumb as hell.
catalystdwarf
i'm pretty sure they taught women these things too
TheSexiestRaccoonEver
But not MEN. Not until now.
catalystdwarf
Aren't you complaining that they taught men and supposedly not women ?
TheSexiestRaccoonEver
These actiony infographics don't usually get a "Women's Edition" if that's what you mean.
catalystdwarf
No I am not talking about the cartoons. They even had "housewife schools" back then.
IraqOutWithMycaqOut
Sinking in a car? Ahh yes, I've been waiting for this moment. Let me just pull out my trusty "auto rescue tool" to break the window...
[deleted]
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veryhungrycaterpillar
I thought that too. Although there are some keychain a with a small spring loaded spike that can puncture a window.
Doyouremembermyusername
ResQme tool. Attaches with a quick release to your keychain. Seatbelt cutter and window punch. I've used both when responding to wrecks.
Tikityler
I keep a smith and rescue border guard on me, has window breaker and seat belt cutter on it. Love that knife.
mirria
Also with the advent of electric-only windows, you want to open the windows first before the system short-circuits.
happovelho
They are surprisingly hard to short out underwater.
tehzpoon
Anything dense enough with enough of an angle is enough. My little flashlight did it amazingly without me even trying. I was pissed.
MaybeGrapes
I have one in my console. They come on most knives.
Couldnotthinkofagoodusername
I've had one for years and have never needed it. For the price, it's better to have and never need than to need and not have.
PlanetsOverPecs
There was a family of 5 in UK who died in a sinking car, the driver opened the window an it took the whole family down.....????
emilhoff
They come on a lanyard, with a hook which you attach to the door just below the window.
ShitForBrainsLikeABlumpkin
every car my family uses has one under the passenger seat.
Couldnotthinkofagoodusername
Car Hammer - Auto Safety Seatbelt Cutter Glass breaker https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CB8WM2S/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_EHfExb2KJSDQ6
GennaSansJ
People like you make me love the internet...
Couldnotthinkofagoodusername
I'm glad one of us gets something out of this. I drive myself nuts. ...O_o...
ThirteenOfThirteens
I carry an auto rescue tool in my glovebox. Shatters safety glass and can cut a seatbelt.
FirefighterCaboose
I mean, I keep one on me but I feel like my circumstances are a little different.
ItchyScrot
Mythbusters proved you wait until the car is filled with water then open the door (inside pressure = outside pressure) Was without kids tho
AsAnImaginaryFriend
Not adulting right if you don't have one.
SubZole
You can also use any pointy and hard object around.You can even try hitting the window with your keys if you can hold it firm enough.
AbrahamChow
You could just remove your head cushion and use that.
adribear
In this event, take the head rest off of your seat and use it to break the window. That's why the ends are pointed that way. <3 TMYK
OThatWedUseOurPowers4Good
Precisely!
IOnceOwnedMoonMoonButOnceHeTriedToLickMyBallsAndRanAwayIMissHim
I too saw that episode of Bear Grylls teaching how to get out of the car.
ICantBelieveItsNotGif
Shit soon that is cool
AllYourPeppermintAreBelongToMe
Urban myth.
Hypercube9
I'm gonna test that on the next car I see parked like a jackass! It works from the outside too right?
menellus
Jam the two prongs parallel with the window at its base (where it goes into the door), then torque the headrest towards you. Escape
VultureTX
auto rescue tool - I call mine a pistol. a tool with multiple usages, given proper training and practice.
GennaSansJ
My luck it would backfire, and the recoil would shovw my hands into my face knocking me unconscious ...country girl that can't shoot ataab
Arracor
Honest question for the physicists out there; is there any chance of the bullet ricocheting off of the glass rather than breaking it?
VultureTX
with lower velocity bullets vs. an angled windshield ? yes actually but you should be taking out the passenger door window right angle.
LordNoodles
Will my gun work?
Couldnotthinkofagoodusername
Only if you have a permit. Guns don't work without one.
LordNoodles
Oh. Right. Yeah I got like two of those.
Couldnotthinkofagoodusername
Then I think you can dual wield without taking a penalty to your off-hand!
linewyorkguy
https://www.amazon.com/StatGear-Tactical-Auto-Rescue-Tool/dp/B0085P4TWW
Couldnotthinkofagoodusername
Better than mune. +1 to you.
Couldnotthinkofagoodusername
*mine
RenegadeKodiak
I keep a pocket knife in my truck that has a seat belt cutter and a window punch. They're fairly inexpensive an easy to store.
[deleted]
[deleted]
RenegadeKodiak
I'm an EMT and I carry mine whenever I can. I've had to use it a few times before for other people. An I'm thankful for em every time.
WhatsaNinjaGottaDotogetanUpvote
Same
BushToadSherlock
I carry a Smith and Wesson pocket knife with glass breaker and seat belt cutter with me everywhere I go.
Laloup
Meijer or Walmart have 12 dollar knives with seat belt cutter / window breaker.
Britoutofwater
At first, I thought you said "trunk" and was about to facepalm.
pandro
I feel pretty stupid because my son moved my box of "keep in the car" stuff to the trunk 2 years ago. Thanks for pointing this out.
GrizzlyWicks
me too i was ready to leave the snottiest of retorts till i read this and felt silly
I4got2ptinthecrystals
Brand?
RenegadeKodiak
Honestly it's some off brand thing I bought when I was a kid. But I've used it about six times and was surprised at the quality of it.
tspangle
http://budk.com has some of these.
buttermyarse
Why can I buy a crossbow for $9.99? America, you scary.
Clineice
Cause it's a piece of crap and we like seeing people hurt themsekves.
TopComment0nReddit
I keep a Resqme on my keychain. It's convenient and has a seatbelt cutter and window punch.
grynning
I have a gerber with these items. Other knife makes have them as well.
HotMagentaDuckFace
You are the kind of person I want around in the apocalypse. Remember me. When shit goes down and the zombies/aliens come, let's meet up.
ButterfaceTaintClown
Err... So he gets out, swims to his trunk, back into car, shuts door, THEN brakes glass with tools retrieved from trunk?
TimeVault
Truck, not trunk
ButterfaceTaintClown
Where else would you keep your tools in a truck?
myrealnameisginger
Once when I was drunk I joined one of those zombie survival forums for that exact purpose. They're actually really nice people! That was 1/
myrealnameisginger
also the same night I created an imgur account lol 2/2
HotMagentaDuckFace
lol +1 for thinking ahead!
RenegadeKodiak
HotMagentaDuckFace
Yes!
Foxerz
If it's your own car there is no excuse to not have these tools in the car. I have four of these in each car in my family (1 in each door).
Btch128
I have 1 in my car, 1 in my purse, and an emergency kit in my car.
GeorgePotompkin
I can respect a well prepared man!
carolinaguuurl
Really? That seems a little excessive. Do you live near a lot of rivers?
DouglasDimmadomus
It's not just for when your car is sinking
splendidcakes
He just loves his family.
Ifnkovhgroghprm
In a collision of any speed, your seatbelt may permanently lock in place. You're not getting it off without yoga or a belt cutter
IWillBeProctoringTheImgur
Thank god I'm a yoga master.
SpockIsMyHomeboy
As a paramedic, this is accurate.
PeteTusk
That's why each seat should be equipped with shears capable of cutting seat belts or defeating dog attacks.
BeerAndWhiskey
I always keep a yoga in the glove box.