MangoPort
121285
2189
140
That's less sleep than I get at home!
Sep 29, 2017 4:24 PM
MangoPort
121285
2189
140
That's less sleep than I get at home!
TinyMovementsOfElegantLace
The kids aren't giving you any, huh?
CRTBOTF2
I work away all the time, I completely understand. By the time I get done on day one, all that comes out is warm air and a whistling noise.
HailNimrod
"Shit it's 4 AM" -grabs lotion- "one more then I'll go to bed" -OP probably
ClitMuncher69
AleQQ
That username though
CallmeJimi
Source?, Looks french
Nerple
Ahh cocaine and Porn...what a time to be alive
iostream64
hope you had a vpn ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
WellWellWellLookWhoItIs
My first thought exactly.
butsir
this is my life
CorgiCircus
Maids the next day
dreikommavierzehn
More like: https://media.giphy.com/media/dZXOXsWBkoN3y/giphy.gif
shitstorminthecomments
DrSC
My father told me before we went on holiday that I would have to put sun lotion on his back. He's incredibly hairy and sweaty in the UK, so
DrSC
I packed a pair of marigolds. For some reason the maid threw my rubber gloves covered in lotion & short hairs while we were out.
Blue4Five
Sometimes, I really wonder what it's like for the girls and women of Imgur to learn so much, so fast, about men. :-\ Brutal.
Tergi
now everyone with a wife and kids that was away on a business trip is going to have an uncomfortable conversation tonight.
MooseSK
My wife high fives me when I tell her how many times I masturbated on a business trip.
Morg729
"Don't worry dear, I'm just doin' my mistress"
humourasdryasyourgf
~ Catholic
MangoPort
This is a significantly better result compared to what some other husbands do...
PiGiSpi
I feel so sad for the fellow in a relationship where he has to feel awkward about admitting to jackin it
BlankhasdiedofDysentery
Naah she's knows what's happening
infectiousgigglezombie
Wauphale
I had a friend try the Master Marathon: once every hour, or 24 times in a day. Stopped at 18, said he was just hurting himself at that point
Doctormupp
ok
rbudrick
We're gonna need stats, number of loads, time between rounds, hours total, load volumes, etc. Without these, this is just amateur hour.
TA283
Doesn't that hurt you guys after a few cum shots?
mtallmen184
Sometimes it hurts before the first one, but that's only if it takes more than half an hour because I use an inside out tube sock
serio420
Oh god, not the sock... The sock has rekt me several times.
imnotlostinlifeijustdonthaveanywheretogo
Yeah, how many guys?
HerrFraeulein
It's great having sex with someone you love again, isn't it?
anlyin
https://imgur.com/ISn9o6D
Shigbeard
>world
MariahEAM
9 hours, 58 minutes is the record. What was your time?
MossyMoose
Impressive and sad at the same time
DrSC
I have never felt so sorry for the employees of the Guinness book of records.
CephalopodLodge5
That's all!?
rockfireman
Right? I've spent days off edging longer than that.
Raileks
They probably don't let you pause in official counts. I've only gotten as far as ~4 hours.
yumyums
.83 seconds
MariahEAM
Are you my ex?
HotSpoon
Lurkerdraegon
Wow!
MangoPort
I'll let you know when I finish!
livinglife9009
What a mad man! He's still going y'all!
q2grapple
eww god, I looked at his post *while* he was doing it
MariahEAM
That is the correct answer, my brother. +1
TheJVDubs
MS Ignite 2017?
ADisturbinglyAttractiveCactus
I don't believe you, the world masturbation record is insane.
xcrit
Was it #MSIgnite2017?
SavageMaiden
Congratulations. So sad i missed being with you.
TedTheMan
Next time...
CowboyZ
Stay away from flammable objects.
PainGwen
I just came home from a conference and now I'm wondering if this imgurian was there...
MangoPort
On some level, aren't we ALL this imgurian?
PainGwen
And on another, isn't this just describing common human behavior in any similar situation? This imgurian is an everyman.
PainGwen
As such, the question should be...why wasn't he describing me?? I guess I was worn out by social anxiety.
heebiejeepie
Hotel cable channels.
GetMeAReubenSandwich
*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK* Housekeeping!!
Frankinbeijing
I don't know that Asian guy and his wife seemed pretty serious.
TurtIeproof
tofuflower
OP needs to be more specific. Record for most cumshots or fapped the longest time before cumming?
excusemeaminute
Never lay closest to the bed dressers as that's where the cream and Kleenex are reachable. Prefer closer to window with air conditioning
KillingTlme
Most times finishing onto a my little pony pillowcase.
OneZebraInAHerdOfWildebeests
You can't get cumshots if you dry out after the 3rd one
atTheRealMAD
Damn ghost loads
rbudrick
True, only the best baters know about the dry cough loads.
UnhelpfulAnswers
Yes
cheeseguy3412
Meh, I've done 18 hours before stopping tapping so I could do it again the next day. Came against the ceiling in my sleep, woke neighbors
VirtualChessLessons
What's the dick to floor ratio?
MegaDudeMan
D2F
CountAiight
Why not Zoidberg.gif
jaydawgx7
Yes, we need numbers. I need to know if I'm a worthy competitor
maycausecancer
Pie charts. We need Pie charts
thechelonianshelmet
Apple?
TheGrinchStoleYourShit
Cream pie charts?
Derekfromireland
Why not both
GetMeAReubenSandwich
This
wakkawakkadoodooyeah
Porque no los dos?
GrootyMcGrootface
TooDumbForRickandMorty
It sounds like each one makes the other more difficult to achieve
Derekfromireland
Don’t complicate things
MithridateEupator
But not impossible. Dream the dream.
Derekfromireland
Love ure train of thought!! Two hands
eadanke
Most blood after the semen stopped measured by volume.
CaptainDeadpool
Oh yes!
Imgurette
Ewwwww
DooksandPooks
I once cam so hard my balls went back inside my body for a few seconds. That was my own personal record.
ProvolonePie
dear god
Madcaplaughs84
See, this is why men fascinate me. That and the ability to perform a helicopter.
thefunnestguyatparties
Some men retain the passage where the testicles descend from the abdomen.
rbudrick
I dont know what this means. Ever since I could grab my nut sack, both balls were there and danglin.
StopAskingMeForAnAccountImgurIWannaLurk
I thought everyone had that. Sometimes I wake up and they're hiding in my pubic area. First time it happened I was like 13 and I freaked out