spooktree
25525
519
18
Nov 20, 2025 1:06 AM
spooktree
25525
519
18
Thetipsygardener
24 hours in the fridge for every 5lbs
ryecurry9000
Your turkey should already be defrosted and half way done in the brine.
islander311
Christmas is like 6 weeks away. Plus you can always just use an electric blanket, hair dryer and bottle of scotch like Dave.
Corgilifeisruff
Fuck! Thanks!
nachosyndicate
Someone always has an " Oh no" moment this time of year.
DumbandConfused
Make sure you thaw it out in a casserole dish or something. It will absolutely leak fluids everywhere.
nontappantless10
Honestly, might be too late if you want to brine the tirkey. But better late than never. But I usually do cook a 20 lb bird. Smaller bird will probably still thaw enough in time
Gover57
Butterball Pre-Stuffed Cook-From-Frozen
brandonblk
people can afford a whole ass turkey?
lonosham
Move… the what?!
Totallyscrewedinaustin
Shit, I need to buy a turkey!
cosonfused
That's not how i remember the muppet show theme song.
anitabieror6
brine it
euphoricopportunity
I usually wait until December
MadJuansReturn
Because we had our turkey in the deep freezer. We pulled it out already. Soon in will sit in brime
NZSheeps
Yum
quietwalker
Neat trick; if you get a hacksaw or some really big snips, you can engage and cut the lock off the oven, it'll go up between 800-1000F in "cleaning" mode and you basically save yourself all that time it'd take to thaw the turkey and cook it like, 3x as fast, obviously.
... I say that, but if you want your homemade pizza to taste like real pizza oven pizza and don't want to shell out megabucks or build your own oven, this trick does actually work.
andexer
Why defrost in the fridge? Wouldn't room temp be faster? Or is bacterial growth a concern?
RetrogradeLlama
Never defrost outside the refrigerator. It breeds bacteria. Food should stay below 38 degrees to avoid the temps where the bacteria that affect humans (most often anyway) form.
Those bacteria live from 40 to 120, give or take a few. So keep it cool or cook it.
ojisama
They live in lower temperatures, but they thrive and breed from 40 Farentinoeious (pretty sure that's the unit here) up
Targe0
Because it takes a like two days to fully defrost.
So the surface would be at room temperature while the core is still frozen.
Which is a bad combo for food hygiene.
But in the fridge it is held at safe temperatures so it can defrost without the risk factor.
andexer
Thank you, that makes sense.
Xenarion
For a moment, I forgot about USA Thanksgiving. I was about to say it's a month early for that.
ArcaneM37
Wait.... Canadian Thanksgiving already happened, right? So which country do you mean? Or were you thinking christmas?
Xenarion
Christmas, yeah. Turkey for Christmas is common tradition here.
rhitard
choppedliveraldente
Imma roast it on a pile of trash in a dirty back alley
hotaru251
a heritage turkey? Not unless you are wealthy as you cant afford to waste that $$ of a bird.
JT1984
choppedliveraldente
Yes you would. Bob.
ThatRaccoonGuy
Maybe in like 3 more days
Targe0
Depends on if you want time to marinade it or brine it. Or dry age it a little.
littlespitfire24
Also depends om how much it weighs
ABrokenThing
No, it isnt
sadurdaynight
Thaw, brine for at least a day, and spatchcock the bird so it cooks evenly.
littlespitfire24
Spatchcock???
SuperfluousMeh
Cut the spine out and flatten it at the breast bone so the whole thing lies flat in one layer. It can help to cook it more evenly.
sadurdaynight
Sounds dumb, and it can be a PITA to prep. But, it was the most absolutely fantastic turkey wife and I had in a long time last year. Everything cooked evenly. The breast was laid out flat so it retained the juices (easier when the meat is brined, b/c the salt retains moisture in the muscle). All the skin was evenly exposed to get nice and crispy. Wife isn't normally a fan of turkey, but she loved it.
SpartaWolf117
1 day for every 4 pounds of bird you have
TwilightRoad
For some reason it always takes even a 15lb bird over a week to thaw in my fridge
MrPengy
You may want to check the temperature in your fridge.
Targe0
Plus 1 or 2 days if you want to brine and marinade, or dry age it.
So it has time for things to really penetrate it.
TheRedBaron8
pinatafarmer
The marinade is just everything that leaked or spilled the whole year and collected at the bottom
beefsteak73
You mean the salmonella drawer?
ojisama
Not that I would (no no, for sure, if I ever were to marinate a turkey, I wouldn't even consider this inspiring idea) do this, but it's just a washable plastic container?
LitterBoxKing
Then why else would my oven go up to 550^F?
xj4low
Screw the oven. Deep fry the bitch. Make sure to set up inside in your kitchen with access to plenty of water if a fire starts.
wyrframe
"The instructions said 'Clean the Turkey'. The oven has a 'Clean' setting. How was I to know?!?!"
Veh1
Foxtrot?
Isthe4thtimethecharm
I kind of want to see how this works out. But I don't want to be in the house during it.
laserfrog
for pizza. Slowcooking, or better- roaster steaming, makes a good turkey Getting the dark& white both to separate temps in same time is hard
redtruck
I use roasting bags for poultry. Turns out great!
PressthamGravey
Marie Callender pumpkin pie setting.
ElbowDeepInATrend
Well, you win the internet for today.
IcePhoenix101
Never let this meme die lol
MisterLemons
Goddamnit I lost my meme for this
itdweeb
GenXHippie
thrael
fuck.. sharon goddamn weiss
Zeterai
For the handful of people confused, some idiot torched a pie and blamed the manufacturer.
Malak224
https://i.imgur.com/Psw817j Looks like a great place for a lightsaber fight.
grumpabeme
To be fair, she posted later that her oven was set for C rather than F when she pre-heated it.
thrael
reject dumb traditions imo.. we're doing steaksgiving this year with rib-eyes and baked potatoes.. fuck the police
ALStaysHome
Hell yeah, we are too! We combined Wolfnoote with Thanksgiving. Everybody loves it.
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
Whenever my husband and I host either Thanksgiving or Christmas, we skip the turkey and do prime rib or something instead. We both hate turkey. It upsets the turkey-lovers, but considering we have to choke down turkey every other holiday, it seems more than fair that we don't have to serve one ourselves.
Ryebread91
I for one would love to have prime rib. Why on earth would they turn that down?!
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
They still eat it, they're just disappointed they aren't getting turkey. I agree, I can't understand at all how turkey even begins to compare to prime rib. I make it with red wine jus as well, with a little butter melted in it. It's sooooo good!
BeckyNosferatu
.....Go on.
RocknRootRanchcuzallwegotisrocksandrootsandafewtrees
We serve ham here. You can keep your dry ass turkey.
Badprenup
If your turkey is dry it's because you're bad at cooking. The turkey I eat is moist and delicious
reverendbonobo
I'll have you know, my ass turkey is the moistest in town!
koalamonster
Someone is mad about your ham.
freshthrowaway1138
Look at mister moneybags over here. Frozen turkey is currently $.62/pound. Rib-eye, though i haven't check in a while, was over $15/pound. Feeding all the family on a budget? Not gonna happen with steak. Fuck, I haven't had red meat in months?
thrael
It's only 3 adults, relax.
astrangehop
One Thanksgiving years ago I was cashieribg and a guy gor two handles of Evan Williams and 23 turkey pot pies. It was as sad as it was crazy.
freshthrowaway1138
The man had a plan.
MechKelly
Just before Christmas, at least around here, prime rib roasts are sold for half price. About the only time of year that they're affordable.
Yellowchopsticks
Can't I just carelessly drop a completely frozen turkey into a bubbling pot of hot oil, indoors, over carpet, surrounded by people who would throw water on an oil fire?
sadurdaynight
As is tradition
grumpabeme
William Shatner would like to sing something about that.
Aquacomforter
Huh?
grumpabeme
He did a PSA a while back about deep frying turkeys. https://youtu.be/3H5Yak9HQeo
DukeDarkwood
Well, you *can*, I suppose, but I don't really think it's a good idea.
0Steve0
It makes for some new content though.
M34665
looks like the fun police have arrived /s
DukeDarkwood
Nah; I never said I was going to stop them. I just delivered my personal thoughts on the matter.
ojisama
Yeah, I think the pot should be filled to the brim, how else will the bird cook evenly?
prosper020
And those burner flames cranked to 11. We want those babies liking the sides of the pot!
grumpabeme
It is best to keep the turkey frozen until it is deep fried. This PSA brought to you by people watching the world burn.
indyjones2010
Indoors
Xerxes4242
Dunno about the world, but their house for sure
ElbowDeepInATrend
^^ This.
0Steve0
https://media2.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1aGl5MmIxaTF1eTh0OG1tZW9kdnExNjdmbmZoYmE3Zjl0MWZsODE5byZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/aSHhWd4YQarYs/200w.webp
RooGryphon
make sure you do it inside as well. after all who wants to cook outside in the cold
grumpabeme
I always put a nice layer of cardboard down to catch any drips as well. This year I might just have something from William Shatner playing in the background
ToasterDent
Real Talk: Do Not Do This
Bubbells
You don't brine yours?
grumpabeme
Only if it is not pre-basted. Brining a pre-basted bird tends to give the meat an off-texture
Bubbells
Ah, see we didn't ever fry turkey. If there ever was a turkey it was smoked. Usually we did ham
grumpabeme
The original comment is a joke- never deep fry a frozen turkey. The frier will boil over and the burner will ignite the oil.
relsky
Oh lord never buy the pre-processed ones. Get a plain turkey, brine it as it thaws, deep fry until the breast measures 155, rest until it's about 165.... perfection.
foreverinchains
Real Thanksgiving was like five weeks ago, eh.
NZSheeps
sadurdaynight
Here in the states, we're really just celebrating Black Friday Eve these days. Folks carbing up before going out on fri to punch each other in the face for a cheap shit tier appliance.
LogicDude
DukeDarkwood
Fall harvest celebrations come when the fall harvest comes in. Some places have shorter growing seasons than others. There is no 'real' vs. 'fake' distinction here.
If you want, we can go by dates. Canada declared Thanksgiving a national holiday in 1879, and fixed its date (2nd Monday in October) in 1957. The United States declared Thanksgiving a national holiday in 1863, and fixed its date (4th Thursday in November) in 1941.
But that only says which was first. Both are real holidays.
insaaanity
I think the joke is that to have a real national holiday, you have to be a real country, not a joke of one.
unsolicitedperspective
Actually the joke was just saying your Thanksgiving day is wrong. Not everything has to be a knife in the heart. Sometimes I miss the old USA Canada riffing. Before the dark times.