sirbartonslady
86053
1826
48
Shouting into the void. Said my goodbyes to my 77yo mother after she deteriorated into a vegetative state from a catastrophic fall last week. She's had brain-bleed, multiple strokes and now heart arrhythmia and inability to control her breathing properly. She wouldn't want to be left like this, so my brother and I made the decision to let her go and the hospital will see to it that she passes peacefully.
I'm grieving harder than I've ever grieved before. I've been her caretaker for nearly a decade, and now I feel so alone.
The hospital offers grief counseling and bereavement services so I'll be okay, but for now...
I love you so much, Mom. I'll miss you so much. Thank you for being the best mom I could ever ask for. Please go in peace.
klean9
Retired internist here. I always td my patients families that decisions like that are not to make it easy for you, it’s to make it easy for the patient
Nauitlus
blueyedwineaux
I am so sorry. Sending you hugs.
Ladieda
I am so sorry for your loss. Sending you a big hug.
Tinyfish3
So sorry for your loss. It is extra hard now, but later may you be comforted that you made the kindest decision for her. Hospital staff talk all the time about how some people end up hurting their elderly relatives and everyone else trying to hang on to someone who should be allowed to pass peacefully.
cronostrike
I had to say goodbye to my dad very suddenly a few years back. It gets easier with time but there are always going to be moments where it hurts. Moments with my kids I wish I could share with him, things like that. When those moments come, I just think of how proud he would be of me in those times and it helps ease that pain. Good luck to you and the family, and get the assistance you need. Admitting when you need help is important too.
lizardmom52
Thank you for respecting her wishes and letting her go. I know that had to be hard but that’s what I want when I get to that stage and just hope my children will respect my wishes. She is at Peace.
RedTailedHawk
Sorry for your loss, friend.
Khoshteep
Sorry and RIP
onetimepost9
Sorry for your loss.
DidgeryDrew
I feel you. My mom had a stroke three years ago and now has dementia so bad that she doesn't know who most people are anymore. I shudder to think of how scared she must be at times. I'm so sorry that you're losing your mom, @OP. I'll pray for her peace and yours as well.
christophersouthworth
My grandmother had the same issue. May they rest in peace.
leadinurface
My mom is rolling up on 60 and we're renovating a house together... And it's the best years of my life, things will be changing soon, and I reflect on what it will feel like... I'm sorry you lost your mom, there aren't many things as hard, loosing a child is probably worse, I hope she loved her life. Keep looking forward, it's our only choice.
VegasTeach
May her memory be a blessing. Requiesce in pace.
NoMasters
My condolences! I hole you will find joy in life again! Remember the good times with your mother!
YouRadicalizedMe
I am Soo sorry my friend. Sending virtual hug
niallmc66
It was the one year anniversary of my dad’s passing last week. He had a catastrophic fall like your mum did, saying goodbye was tough. I hope you have friends who can support you at this time, it’s essential.
darthOnion
Exactly one month ago I found my mom after she’d had a massive stroke - non responsive but snoring heavily in and out. ER docs said only a small part of her brain was working and would not survive it. We stayed with her until noon the next day when she passed. 76 years old with no health problems.
boomdiddley
Seems to me like she raised on hell of a son. I'm sure she was proud. Sorry for your loss.
pdboddy
My condolences. *hug*
OCanadian
Sending you my love. Sorry OP. That's hard.
FelineFatal
beAbetterperson7
So sorry for your loss. You seem a real good person, so I'm willing to bet she was a great mom.
IIikethecutofyourjib
You should make another post when you're ready, and if you want to of course, about your mom. You don't have to be specific, but maybe celebrating her will make you feel a bit better. You did the right thing and you are a wonderful child.
Layinginbed
I'm so sorry! I lost my dad 3 yrs ago and the world has since felt dimmer. You will have waves of grief. Surround yourself with friends and don't be afraid to talk about your feelings
Hyzenthlay021
You don't think the pain is ever going away. It's been three years now, and time has helped. Still going to be a hole in your life, but it does get better.
IdiotSavantTinker
You've done the right thing, and she's thanking you for letting her pain end.
TripUpStairs
It good you have your brother to lean on right now. Condolences to your family.
sirbartonslady
Yes I am very lucky. Thank you.
KellyCrazyCatLadyinTraining
I have watched far too many patients spend years wasting away both physically and mentally; I hope your mother didn’t feel too much pain when she took her fall, and I hope she suffered as little as possible after the fall. I’m so sorry.
Rhianmnop
I wish I could hug you so tight right now. I’m so sorry for your losing your mom. It is incredibly painful and never easy when there is so much love to be missed. She knows you love her.
sirbartonslady
I want a physical hug so bad right now. Someone to just squeeze the pain away, if only for a second. Thank you for your kind words
Rhianmnop
I lost my mom to breast cancer in 2011, it’s the worst pain I’ve ever felt. You’ll eventually cry a little less, it will hurt a little less, but there will be shocking moments when you’ll try to call her or think of something you want to tell her that happened in your day and you have to smile and know she knows. I still dream of my mom often and wake up crying. I’m sorry you are going through this. Truly.