magicspromise
46031
1057
45
Nov 19, 2024 3:56 AM
magicspromise
46031
1057
45
AceOfNines
#48 I'll be 60 in January and I firmly expect nothing good will ever happen again.
SergeantMajorSpoiler
#1 I'd be happy to sell something nonexistent to an entity, who also doesn't exist, for real money and power. Hey, buddy - do I have a statue to sell!
MeanWinchester
#37 jokes on you, it would take me far longer than 60 seconds to think of even one way I consider myself awesome! Wait... Maybe the jokes on me then?
BarderBetterFasterStronger
#15 How did we let comma usage get this far. Look at this dumb-as-rocks comma usage. What even prompted them to put it there? This means, clearly, in their head, they have an idea of how to use a comma, and it's at least complete enough, to them, that they chose to use it rather than omit. Education is dead.
StoopKidAfraidToLeaveHisStoop
#3 “some local tribes practice funerary cannibalism on lost loved ones for funsies.”
Spudd86
#8 Fun fact: in Canada carrying anything for the purpose of hurting someone is illegal makes it an illegal weapon. If a cop asks you why you are carrying a knife do not answer, especially not if it is phrased as "it's a bad neighbourhood, bet you're glad to have that knife" if you agree to that statement your pocket knife would be a concealed weapon and that is a crime.
Sechran
This was one of the funniest dumps I've scrolled through in a long time. Thank you.
ParaspriteHugger
#21 my friends: [shoot my clone] the real you wouldn't have passed a chance to ponder if he was the clone, if there was a difference between original and copy, and what evil even is.
TiredSnowball
#2 Historians had nothing to do with this, as it was always a work of fiction. Some of the letters were found in 20th century by archaelogists confirming it's just fun story-writing, and none of that drama stuff happened.
randomdragon
Well, there is a historical site generally assumed to be the inspiration for Troy, layers of which were around during the Mycenaean period. It's just that anything more detailed than "some Mycenaeans fought a war with what was most likely Troy and it was razed at some point" obviously can't be verified. A more interesting question would be, how many of those idea were cooked up by Homer and/or later authors, and how much of the story originates in the oral version from the Greek dark age...
worm61
Historians study ancient works of fiction.
OtherEllie
#5 A disturbing amount of gun owners don't ask themselves this before going to the airport.
xxPaulCPxx
I had a tickling feeling before going though TSA once, and I got out of line to check my rolling computer bag. Good thing to, the last time I had used it for work, I had driven and it was to Vegas, where I had brought some guns with to shoot. I had forgotten that I had stored about 30 rounds of rifle ammo in one of the pouches. There's me, just around the corner from TSA, dumping HANDFULS of bullets onto the trash.
Nikolai5
#1 It's not like selling your soul to the devil. The devil will give you something in return like a transaction. God demands your souls or else he's going to inflict unimaginable terror and pain upon you and potentially everyone you love, I mean he's done it before, he'll commit genocide because one person pissed him off. So... yay?
writerbuddy
#44 A gelatinous cube in babe form is a great trap.
Override9636
Make sure you wear protection
Idonotkillpeoplethatismyleastfavoritethingtodo
A whole bunch of people on this site just found their new favorite way of death.
ArcaneM37
#11 i would wear the wedding dress I spent months of my life making by hand for a wedding i regret.
MirroredImage
$300 dress for a Christmas party we never got to go to, because he'd strike up some hours-long argument *every time* we had some sort of outing planned?
Hells yes. It looked fantastic, you guys
AllTheKitties
Maybe I'd go back and buy that badass skirt I didn't get because I know I'd have no where to wear it...
Evillairforrent
#16 ah fuck me.
I'm a bard.
RevolutionOnHerLips
wait you said this wrong. should be, "Ah! Fuck me, I'm a bard! 😉😏😘"
Evillairforrent
Well if you insist *unzipping sounds*
henryvk
#32 I consider myself an introvert but I also went to library school where the window for what counts as being introverted shifted drastically away, leaving me the de-facto extrovert who would present all the group-work.
tooomanystevesgotbanned
#11. A friend of mind did that! It was a lot of fun. I wore a Hawaiian shirt, a tie with spiders on it, and a huge watch I was gifted by a neighbour (which is either a $4K genuine or a $400 fake.)
executivedisfunction
#33 A friend once commented that: "All cats are vicious little bags of poison." I can't honestly disagree. And I like cats.
johneventually1
#5 as as person who regularly carries a knife, yes.
Nexus297
#44 Still would
aChungusAmongUs
I don’t get it
Arcblaire
The green ones belly has a skull in it apparently still in the process of being dissolved. Im assuming the partner is concerned they are about to be killed.
DutchBoeremeisie
Thanks!
fartharder
#34 the 3rd item in this is so fucking frustrating
ADDGirl
#34 I'm Jay from Dogma..
Metatron: Prophets, in a manner of speaking... two of them. The one who speaks... and he will, at great lengths, whether you want him to or not...
dudeinjapan
#16 but I don’t wanna be a Paladin! I’m too much of a pervert!
FoamingToad
Wizard. Prepare the fireballs!
JJ2078
That's a Paddlin'....
numonster
Could be a paladin of a sexy god? Sharess?
dudeinjapan
I guess I could find something degenerate…
vakler
#14
SnoopyDancing
thanks for giving a fuck
vakler
No give, only take
friendsofsandwiches
I have no more ducks to give.
CardeasIV
Your Ducks have runeth dry? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXK03FHVsHk
TheBigCheese93
#17 I feel like this is how living with @CodyBurkett would be.
CodyBurkett
Well.... no, because she would also have a bird chewing on her earrings.
TheBigCheese93
Fair. Pippin must have his pound of flesh.
capnjip
#44 so... See through body... Nope, lights stay on!
mycatwontletmeclosemybedroomdoor
Piage, no! That's not what Pop Rocks are for!
MrsSaurus
#27 as a Finn, I wonder if we’re related.
Joo, juu, kyllä = yes
Ei = no
Juu ei = yes no = no (in a rather definitive way)
Ei mutta joo = no but yes = yes (in a surprised way)
No ei kyllä = well no yes = strictly no
ElusiveThing
Heh, so I wasn't the only Finn who thought that felt awfully familiar.
Meowsma
I mean, that's the area where most of the Finnish immigrants settled. Also, pidän kieltäsi.
MrsSaurus
Kiitos :)
Muertasha
#5 I keep a knife in my purse and always have to remind myself to take it out when I fly or hide it better when I go to places that check purses.
Muertasha
And apparently #8
xxPaulCPxx
On more that one occasion I've forgotten my EDC knife in my pocket after my bags were already checked. I just went down to Arrivals and looked around until I found someone who looked like they also carried a knife on the regular. I walk up to them and say "You look like someone who could use a knife" and give it to them. They are always very happy for the gift!
DrewThe3DPrinterGuy
#7 Snatch crackle pop?
minoshirokin
Do not put sugar anywhere near your snatch unless you want horrendous yeast infections
nojustsayitdont
Reminds me of Blow Fly Girl. Don't look it up. But if you do want to look it up Whang on YouTube covers it quite well. https://youtu.be/ni-YMdCNfxA
JoeMangoJello
My instinct is that this would be uncomfortable, maybe even painful? Any pussy-having people care to chime in with an opinion?
skolyr
I do not have one but my general knowledge about them is that sugar is just an absolute terrible thing to put in, on, and around that area.
Nyxaura
As someone who has one, indeed.there is a balance that must be maintained.
MeatyNoodle
As someone who has one and is curious, I wonder if this would work with a dental dam…
RevolutionOnHerLips
. /s
ragingzealot
#2 This is an example of how homophobia cuts both ways, on one hand it will make some people do mental gymnastics to deny one of their heroes is gay on the other it makes others assume that two dudes can't be really close without there being a sexual aspect to the relationship.
Heisanevilgenius
Exactly. I remember seeing the movie In and Out way back. The whole bit is that everyone is convinced the main character is gay because he's a little effeminate. At the end he discovers he is gay and accepts himself but that ending pissed me off because I thought it completely ruined the message that someone can be effeminate and not gay.
potshot
For what it's worth, the original homeric texts don't really imply that strongly that they were gay. Later texts in the classical period of greek literature clearly cast them as lovers, but those were written 3-4 centuries after the Illiad. It's comparable to reinterpreting Hamlet as a sexually confused character today.
You need to be very careful with assigning modern views to historical figures. Even Classical texts don't necessarily portray the relationship as purely homosexual but as
potshot
pederastic, which isn't quite as simple as simply sexual. It also reflects the contemporary culture that lifted pederasty on a pedestal, and it's not clear that the homoerotic overtunes aren't purely made up additions unrelated to the original traditions.
SoshiGenkaku
It does not help also you have a lot of people online who basically with any two male characters in media want to do their who “ships” with those guys who are remotely friendly with each other as lovers also. Just encourages the whole “men must show no emotions with other men or else gay” idea.
TheManWhoStaresAtTurtles
Big issue I had rolling in and out of fandoms all throughout my teens. People will project all kinds of internal shit onto things without realizing that's what they're doing, whether the people involved are real or fictional.
Turns out it's kind of harmful to live in a world where you unquestionably accept your own first instinct/reaction and never try to figure out the truth of what you're looking at.
BarderBetterFasterStronger
They said on imgur.
LeftyBigGuns
It’s awesome to be a guy and have a guy friend who is my hetero life-mate.
Allrighty
otoh sex/friendship is also not the rigid binary we sometimes pretend it is.
Crowlands
"If you cry at your best friend's funeral, you must be gay!" - Tumblr/Andrew Tate.
BarderBetterFasterStronger
How much of imgur rage is just people making up stuff to be mad at because someone somewhere might say it.
MirroredImage
I..I don't know if you're aware that Achilles very much did have Some Sort Of Reaction to Patroclus' death.... Referenced in...a text post.. that someone has said..
BarderBetterFasterStronger
Not previous commenter but ok.
DutchBoeremeisie
I loved how Scrubs went a long way towards trying to normalise "guy love" (straight guys being very close).
nikolateslaismyhomeboy
Wright2k
nikolateslaismyhomeboy
jethroismaxbaer5772
Platonic love is great. Wish there was more of it.
CowboyRooster
I was trying to find a way of saying exactly this.
I'm gay as a bag of dicks and a highly sexual person, but I find it really grating when gay dudes can't just acknowledge that a lot of the time relationships between guys, even if one or both are gay, can are platonic, and they can be just as strong, enduring and profound as a physical or romantic one.
HairyChairstepper
Yeah. Similar to how straight guys and straight girls aren't allowed to be just platonic friends. It doesn't have to be sexual all the time.
mastertmo
This is exactly my problem with all the people who think Harry and Hermione should have wound up together. We finally get a popular depiction of platonic friendship, and everybody complains about it.