TheBloodyLady
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Nov 13, 2023 7:44 AM
TheBloodyLady
75096
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lildude52ca
being what?
unsolicitedperspective
This world is inherently traumatic*
Fixed it for you
YourChaoticNeutralFriend
Suffering is inevitable and this is hopeless. I wish you all of the luck in the world.
VioletCatastrophe
Now consider the extreme overlap of neurodivergence and being queer. Living in a society that is hostile to us in its organization/structure and in its attitudes. Knowing that if something goes wrong (and it WILL), you will just end up a statistic. If you are lucky, you'll get picked up by someone who cares enough to go against the trend, but you were unlucky enough to end up like that in the first place, so not exactly a comforting possibility.
Zed152
Original artwork before it was defaced is by @oyzk_2nc on twitter c/status/1696230376224735707">https://twitter.com/oyzk_2nc/status/1696230376224735707 with more available on their Misskey https://misskey.io/@oyzk
aerodynamit3
If everyone is neurodivergent, then no one is
Syovere
, and other meaningless platitudes by the comment section
SecretCatPolicy
renamingbecauseIdontcarefordaddiesofbusiness
Yesssssssssssssssssss
Yes
Brainzaps
I got diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. My Mum didn’t and still not really “believe” ADHD is real…
Now I am nearly 30, having panic attacks, Depression, social awkwardness, adjustment disorders, addiction.
I just recently realized that tieing me up as a little child with duct tape isn’t normal play behavior and my memories about such situations are getting stronger since I am clean… Sometimes even my mouth got taped… “see if you can free yourself but be silent”..
now I am on the way to rehab 1/2
Brainzaps
a second time, but realizing so much more reasons and troubles which led to my substance abuse…
Now I try to understand my past, my conditions and hopefully can work with good therapists on this issues rather than just staying clean.
I feel unwell when I do things “just for me”. I have anxiety and panic if I believe I don’t fulfill others expectations or tasks. Sometimes I feel like a shell, just being there to function for “the outside world” but myself is empty
meadowmeal
existence is traumatic, nobody is fully sane, and we arent that special
liveOffOfDownVotes
It's a super power as far as I am concerned. We wouldn't have any fun things in this world if nobody was on the spectrum. Almost every major breakthrough is because of this.
SharkoutofWata
But that’s the implication of divergent. Different. Not planned for and unexpected. If you thought it was going to be smooth, you have not paid attention. Every day is a struggle in some form or fashion while others seem to just skate on through. Meanwhile I have to hear “how good for you it’d be if you did” as if that was as easy as wearing socks. “Have you tried-“ yes, I have and it nearly sent me into an unrecoverable spiral so no I’m not going to try again thanks.
Carl99
The worst part is when i was younger despite the issues it caused me, including severe bullying, i thought i might be able to do somthing with my life. Now at nearly 40 i just feel like a usless failure. I'm not suicidal, but i just don't feel like i have any direction in my life, i don't know what i want to be or even weather what i wanted to do when i was younger was right for me. I feel like someone lost at sea and belcamed, no direction or idea. That make any sense to anyone?
dreikommavierzehn
Absolutely. With the difference that I always knew what I wanted to do. that I actually have more interests than I have time to live. And yet being crushed into finely ground dust most of my life threw me regularly into depression and isolation for so long that I can't imagine it being any different anymore. From which follows that there's simply no point in doing anything. For years that direction was simply survival. That's too exhausting by now too
9z2nf02h
Welcome to disability
Melonfish
I want to tell all the ND's to rise up in solidarity, and take to the streets etc. But we're all going to sit at home quietly doing our thing cause honestly, going out is just way too much work at times.
vampirelibrarian
That's exactly what every introvert feels
Nobanob
Yeah, but I'll sign up now as this sounds exciting and new. Day of I'll either be too excited all day, burning out and staying home. Or I'll regret my decision being anxious about the plans I committed to, burning out and staying home.
So...I'm definitely in, this sounds wonderful when and where
ExceptFluffyDuck
Except that not all ND means being an introvert.
Melonfish
I was referring to the fact that the majority of us have major anxiety issues, but you are correct, we're not all introverts.
Choboman
What can I, as an individual, do to make it less traumatic (even if only by a little bit)?
TheFishFace
There's always progress that can be made, but life will always be harder if you live in a society that has to accommodate the majority, when part of a minority. Accomodating diversity isn't possible to do perfectly.
Blizky
My most progressive friends make fun of me like I’m undisciplined or just exaggerated.
Blizky
And that mental heath month is just bullshit. A way for companies to print posters and send emails like they care but do absolutely nothing to provide real support.
OldandHuseless
I still call myself learning disabled haha it feels more accurate. Bitch I can't read, it is what it is. -(dyslexia)
Dancingtuxedoman
I'm just fucked in the head, but I play to my strengths.
PanzerHyena
Hey I got ADHD, Depression and Anxiety. The Millennial mental illness hat trick.
KilliK69
anyone has the source for the original pixel art?
Zed152
Original artwork before it was defaced is by @oyzk_2nc on twitter c/status/1696230376224735707">https://twitter.com/oyzk_2nc/status/1696230376224735707 with more available on their Misskey https://misskey.io/@oyzk
Seradhe
Everything from the education system to the working world has been heavily leaning towards rewarding 'normalcy'. it really is a shame
Skumbo
It's true to an extent. In the past many people were Neurodivergent and would only be ostracized if it was to a significant measure. Let's make the future better than the present, and the present better than the past!
Morganelefay
The past was also - barring wars and such - more orderly and less overload. You didn't get bombarded with information constantly, didn't have to be part of "dynamic teams" or whatever bullshit the execs think of, didn't have to be permanently connected/reachable, far less visual stimuli...in essence, the world's gotten far worse for ND folks due to all those factors.
dreikommavierzehn
True. Whoever didn't fit into the mindset of the village they were living in was simply shunned, driven away or in even older times: Killed.
labtob
sd'fkl;,sdfl;k ok
YuffieK
Because people hate and fear that which does not conform.
PleasantPeasantPheasant
I'm 31, I still have a severe hatred of children because I was horrendously bullied at a young age.
titaniumsnail
Me too, but with teenagers. I just can't stand to be around them because the way they behave and talk gives me constant flashbacks to my own youth and the bullying I experienced. I was also so different than them as well. I was quiet, more adult in my behaviour and in general behaved very grown up compared to them, and they saw that as a threat apparently.
mastikator
THIS. It's not the world that is opposed to neurodivergent people, it is the people.
PancakeSupreme
I don't actually think people are opposed to... just that most people don't understand.
mastikator
What do people think of things they don't understand, generally?
Nobanob
In my experience it isn't hate. It's a lack of attempt to understand, while trying to relate to our struggle with "well yeah, I do that too sometimes" okay cool you do this occasionally. I do this ALL day EVERY day. I have lost jobs because of this, ruined relationships. Life often costs more with ADHD. We forget to pay bills causing fees, why buy stuff and lose it forever causing us to need to buy it again. There are so many things. But most just go "everyone struggles with that sometimes"
Nobanob
If you're NT and you've got an ND in your life. Please stop relating this way it's defeating feeling. Tell me that sounds tiresome/stressful, empathize by sympathizing with my struggle. Not by trying to relate to it.
VioletCatastrophe
I mostly respectfully disagree. The world we live in, that of a society and culture made by humans, is organized around neurotypical modes of interactions. To be neurodivergent is to inherently struggle against the very fabric of society, to chafe against the threads that no one person realized they were weaving. It is the world, albeit a world created by people, but not one that exists by any person's choice to be inherently traumatic.
mastikator
I very much agree with everything you said! +1
seanmccorkle
I firmly believe that evolution favors neurodivergence in social animals; out-of-the-box thinking and behavior in a few individuals can lead to discoveries and options overlooked by the majority. It is a remedy to groupthink.
Freeasabird2015
Agreed, and I know a lot of evolutionary biologists have also voiced this view.
GiantMoron
Does neurodivergent just mean introverted?
GiantMoron
Thank you and sorry, I just saw the term used in a way that implied being an introvert and I've read the word a lot on this site the last couple of weeks, so I wondered what it meant.
BrickShakes
It means anything that differs from the typical brain as understood by medicine.
PoliticalWanderer
No, autism, ADHD, dyslexia, social anxiety, certain mental health stuff like bipolar and OCD, and various other things fall under the umbrella of neurodivergent.
foreverinchains
If you've got a couple minutes to spare friend, here's a little light reading for you. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/symptoms/23154-neurodivergent
braveboy510
Thanks for the link. So, the word is an attempt to provide an optimistic POV for what have historically been called disabilities?
foreverinchains
Something like that. We still have a lot to learn about how brains work.
FiftyShadesOfMascarpone
Originally a term for the autism spectrum. Neurodiverse / -divergent as opposed to neurotypical, to avoid the somewhat insulting pathological vs normal dichotomy. More recently the term has been adopted by people with mental health conditions, and while it's great to have a non-pathologizing term for those as well not all autism rights advocates are happy about this. Tl;dr: It either refers to the autism spectrum or is an umbrella for any condition listed in the DSM-5 depending on whom you ask.
Sironagold
Its a term that means "differing from normal neural traits" they can be unhappy all they want, they sound like bell ends. Every autistic person I know is more than happy to share the term with anyone else who has neurodiverse traits, while using the autistic tag for themselves when more specificity is needed. Sounds an awful lot like neurotypicals getting bent out of shape about not having a special word anymore.
FiftyShadesOfMascarpone
I personally don't have a problem with widening the umbrella. I use the term to describe my ADHD-riddled self (I'm not on the spectrum). At the same time, I understand why some think this usage kind of defeats the purpose. Let's take severe paranoid schizophrenia as an extreme example. That unarguably does constitute a pathology which requires treatment and can't simply be accomodated in the workplace. When someone talks about changing work environments to be more neurodiversity-friendly, you …
FiftyShadesOfMascarpone
2/2 know for a fact they're not talking about unmedicated schizophrenia. Or Alzheimer's, a progressively worsening organic disease that literally destroys the brain. Or pedophilia, for that matter. That's also in the DSM-5. Is pedophilia still neurodiversity in your book? I'm pretty sure you draw the line at that point too. Some conditions clearly are an illness, disease or disorder and can't simply be normalized and accomodated. Ironically, that includes very severe / nonverbal autism.
FungusForge
Just going to point out here that *all* of Autism is on a spectrum. This includes being nonverbal. Its not a binary switch where you are or you aren't. Sufficiently stressful or emotional situations, as well as the *incredibly common* (among ASD individuals) sensory overload can all result in an autistic individual finding it difficult or impossible to speak for a time. There's very much an issue with people acting like any sort of being nonverbal is a big issue when its not.
FiftyShadesOfMascarpone
I'm well aware of that, thank you. My point was that the autism rights / neurodiversity movement opposes the pathologization of the entire spectrum and takes offense at the prospect of one day being able to cure autism. Autism, according to the movement, is more of a personality trait and curing it would be akin to killing said personality. Personally, I'm not so confident that nonverbal ASD sufferers wouldn't want a cure. We can't know for sure for ....
FiftyShadesOfMascarpone
2/2 obvious reasons, but what we do know is that only high-functioning individuals are able to live independently without caretakers & hold down a job. Who are also the spokespeople of the autism rights mvmnt. Ppl who are so high-functioning that their condition might as well be described as "barely autistic". Of course *they* don't want or need a cure and find it insulting to see their identity described as a disorder or disability. But severe autism is very much a crippling social disability.
AcidZebra
At this stage, being anything in this world is inherently traumatic.
invisibulman
At this point, not being neurodivergent in this world is delusional.
katashimon13
das capitalism babyyyy
Rogerwilco1974
Came to post this, and here it already is, rightfully at the top.
Crowlands
I discussed with my most recent therapist that while some aspects of my condition are definitely mental health issues, a lot of my anxieties are actually pretty reasonable. Constant fear of homelessness doesn't seem so abnormal when my landlord is trying to illegally convict me so they can jack up the rent with a new tennant.
Tengenstein
I explained this to my Doctor friend that i got incredibly anxious if i left the house without astha inhalers. "probably not paranoia"
anarchoFeline
yeah and it's worse for some. I know you think this is a sympathetic reply but it really isn't. very "but all lives matter" energy
solarshado
I'd argue "except rich", but I imagine that might just have a different set of traumas. Seems like it'd have to be a smaller set though...
SolidGoldDancer
"At this stage" is also unnecessary, it has never been any different.
RandomName24601
Yes but, that is also the "all lives matter" response. Our world is built to the neurotypical standard, and is inherently more hostile to a neurodivergent being
Navrodel
On one hand yes, but also kind of no. Our world isn't even built to be comfortable for neurotypical people, it's built to the highest stress that someone that's mentally healthy can tolerate, and the margins are getting slimmer every day. A lot more neurotypical people and "functional" neurodivergents have been falling off since the pandemic because there's bee so little room for error in modern society. It's absolutely worse for the neurodivergent, but as a society we need to recognize that >
Navrodel
> the same forces that make life nearly unlivable for the neurodivergent - or anyone with handicaps or disabilities - is making things worse for everyone as well. It's more important to acknowledge and aid the people that are suffering most, I'll grant you that, but the world isn't built to any standard for good mental health, and fixing any of that is in the right direction to help the people hurt most by it.
DropDrop
The world is traumatic, & then additional things can make it more traumatic. On the plus side, humans have cover come giant traumatic things, Like a lot of humans don't have to worry about being hunted by non-human predators. At this point for many, other humans are their biggest danger. Being anything "out of the ordinary", like neurodivergent, or skin tone minority for your area, being a minority sex for your job field, etc, etc, can lead to other humans seeing you as not part of the ingroup-
DropDrop
-and humans can be really bad to people who aren't in their ingroup. The last predators. humanity must overcome to reduce trauma, is the beast we can be to each other sometimes.
ChloeRed
I feel the word "anything" is redundant: Being in this world is inherently traumatic.
AkuTheShapeShiftingMasterOfDarkness
The universe doesn't need to make sense to use- but I wish it would.
ChloeRed
if it did, well, to quote DNA: "it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable." 1
ChloeRed
...there are some people who believe this has already happened. 2/2
HsuDoNihm
Being is inherently traumatic.
Rasayana
To be is traumatic.
TalleyZorah
As a non neuro-spicy person (pretty sure anyway, sometimes I wonder), I really wish there was more education out there on what neurodivergence actually looks like, how to be accomadating (without being patronizing or weird), and a general normalization of those accomadations. Like I wish all subtitles & closed captions were in dyslexic-friendly font; it's such a "small" thing that nobody would notice except the people who's lives would be made easier. There's tons of stuff like this.
Nobanob
I'm neurospicy with ADHD. My symptoms are so fucking obvious when you actually take the time to look into. Years of incorrect media portrayal muddied the water. Had they been even remotely accurate beyond "interrupting boy with too much energy" we would have figured this out 30 years ago. There is a YouTube channel called HowToADHD. She will equip you with tools to help us. She calls the neurospicy "brains" and the neurotypical that love and support them "hearts". So many helpful tools
6313326
Please be patient w/ ADHD folks who explosively interject on your story with something (maybe only tangentially) related & Autistic folks who go on and on (and on and on) about their special interests. We know it annoys people and we really do try to _not_ (when it's not mutual/reciprocated), but those are (respectively) how we show points of empathy or how we connect with someone & it takes some longer to realize that they usually drive people up the frikkin' wall.
dreikommavierzehn
Yeah it leads to such wonderful situations like calling a mental health organisation and telling the person that it's difficult to leave the house at all and they would answer "well you can't just sit at home and wait for things to get better". Oh why thank you, I haven't thought of that.
Shaodyn
We need more education on what neurodivergence actually is so you won't get things like "This man can't concentrate! He clearly has ADD!" To be fair, that may be right, but that's not the only thing ADD is. It's also "I had this thing in my hands 30 seconds ago and I have no clue where it is" and "I want to do this thing but my brain won't let me."
astromoondoggie
“I’m hungry, but I stopped eating because I’m tired of chewing this.”
Shaodyn
"There's a thing I want to do but I'm mindlessly doomscrolling social media instead of doing it.
Shaodyn
"I can't force myself to get up and do it, even though I've been looking forward to it all day."
GadenKerensky
As a neurodivergent person, I do think people like us should make small concessions to try and understand others better... but it's so hard.
Nobanob
I think it's a two way street. I have ADHD, which is fairly new information in my life. Some friends don't care to understand and still judge me for the things I do. Some have learned tools and work arounds for my ADHD moments. The day after I told my mom about it. She came home early and I had not anxiety cleaned all my messes yet. Instead of being annoyed at my mess she started to laugh as she noticed all the small half completed "fires" I left. We laughed, I cleaned up and everything was okay
Nobanob
Had she not bothered to learn. She would have been mad, my rejection sensitivity disorder would have triggered, I would've gone into a depressed swing, and an over analytical anxious loop. It took a ten minute convo and showing her an ADHD video on YouTube that really resonated with me. But she had to want to learn, without that nothing would have changed.
aablee
Good resource for rejection disorder? I keep feeling if i disappointed someone I just wanna unalive. Adhd dx. I’ve never heard of RSD…
Nobanob
Check out HowToADHD on YouTube. Her name is Jessica, she's fun, knowledgeable, has ADHD, and has a lot of really easy to digest videos that equip you with a lot of tools
Sironagold
You seem to have found the right balance on accomodating vs patronizing. As a nueruspicy that doesn't have dyslexia, I use the dyslexie font where I can just because it makes skim reading faster and more reliable. I can go through through the lord of the rings books in about 2 days normally, and 1 day in dyslexie on my computer. I wish there were browser plugins that converted fonts reliably for it...
TalleyZorah
Thank you (I think?). But all of LOTR in 1-2 days?! Is this a learnable skill? I can't skim read-- I end up rereading the same page like 4x because I'll get confused. This would really help when I'm reading academic papers and textbooks.
Carl99
Read a lot when young. I'm actually Dyslexic but can/have done the LOTR in 1 day, i score awful on writing, but my reading is top notch.
Sironagold
It's something I learned by being a voracious reader as a kid, mostly I read the word based on the first and last letter and the overall shape, I don't double-back to check unless the words stop making sense in that order. It's terrible for my texting though because combined with my ADHD I sometimes type in words that are a similar shape to what I wanted to write instead of the correct word and don't notice.
paintingagency
The secret is to skip the songs.
Illumian85
What is the name of the font, why is this the first I have heard of it, and is it an option on Kindle?
Sironagold
Dislexie is the font I use and it's one of the better ones IMO, no idea about use in Kindle
NeverConfusedForNaught
.
6313326
"Open Dyslexic" I think & yep, it's on Kindle.
TheFishFace
There's always been a way to override fonts in a browser... Not sure what else you'd want, there?
TalleyZorah
Reliability + consistency. You can have a browser extension, but that doesn't mean it overrides the closed captions ~everywhere~, and then of course there's all the myriad of places outside your personal computer that there are subtitles/closed captions like on your TV, apps on your phone, public spaces, etc. t's also a bit of a nightmare to change documents in/out of dyslexic font to the point most people I know in academia don't bother. There's a lot of work to be done just for simple stuff.
TheFishFace
I hadn't thought of closed captions, but you don't need an extension for webpage content: in Firefox settings for example, just turn off "allow webpages to choose their own fonts".
mypoopiswatery
One of the points they made was the reliability, so perhaps they know but haven't had much success or at least not to a degree they're satisfied
Sironagold
Having tried that, it doesn't work on googles bookmark bar, a lot of the header fonts, and a lot of sites have text that isn't convertable for some reason. It's enough to frustrate me out of using it.
TheFishFace
Google's bookmark bar is part of the browser - you'd need to change the font in your operating system or in Chrome's theme (if there is such a thing) to affect that. In Firefox there's a setting to turn off webpages' ability to set custom fonts. It should work everywhere actual text is used but lots of headers are images, not plain text - there's no way to affect those.
PancakeSupreme
Yub, I read somewhere that adults getting diagnosed with autism will almost always also score enough points on the cptsd to qualifying for that diagnoses. I'm not sure about adhd, but there is a huge overlap.
NVGoddesscottage
This is sooooo true
Illyriel
I'm c-ptsd diagnosed, and have always suspected I'm neurodivergent, but where I live, receiving ptsd diagnosis pretty much disqualifies you from the other because there are so many overlapping symptoms. Guess I'll never know for sure. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
ChesterSnapdragonMcFistycuffs
That's extraordinary. The taxonomy of assigning labels to mental health is supposed to help us, it often causes problems ofc but I'm appalled that someone would suggest you can only have one at a time? Where did they think the cptsd came from :/
Illyriel
I have a clearcut background in trauma, so in my case, I suppose they decided it came from there, without allowing me the chance to bring up the dysfunction I suffered in cookie cutter education system and in social settings with my peers.
I don't know how they justify this with other patients, but that is what my doctor told me in regards to the subject when I brought up my suspicion of neurodivergency.
hashtagpiglife
Diagnosed with ADHD 2021, autism 2022. Still just trying to accept that this is where a lot of my trauma stems from. Still in the process of trying not to hate myself for being neurodivergent.
miraclemaxcoc
Neurodivergent isn't inherently good or bad, just different, and from a societal perspective diversity is a good thing. The problem is intolerance.
Sirius04
Can confirm, I went to a psychiatrist thinking I was on the spectrum, turns out my adhd and traumatic past mixed into c-ptsd, social anxiety, and major depression; they all masked and appeared to me like asd. I thought something was inherently wrong with my wiring, turns out the world has broken me down over 25 years into a mess that can't leave the house out of fear of the world
dreikommavierzehn
oh hey, same here. Though my suspicions begin in childhood, since my issues relating and connecting with others has always been there
theplantladyisabenevolentruler
I seriously could have written this. Hey brain twin
miraclemaxcoc
ADHD frequently have GAD & chronic depression.
reynej
check, check, and oh look at that, I'm three for three
Leonon
Mental health problems are like the worst "Buy one, get 2 free" sale.
fallenman479
Yup, I have ADHD, GAD, treatment resistant depression, and CPTSD because physical and mental abuse was the only thing my family, schools, and church could think of to "manage" me.
My family failed me.
Society failed me.
Now I have to kill myself working for the very society who hates me and has always hated me.
I'm:
Hopeless.
Lost.
Angry.
...
Sirius04
I feel your pain mate. If it's possible for you, and if it falls in your interests, try looking into off grid homesteading. It's my personal end goal to find a cheap plot of acres and raise my own food, grow my own crops, and generate my own power. I want to work by myself, for myself; I don't want to rely on or contribute to a society that has failed us. Spite is a hell of a motivator
leadinurface
I feel so lucky that I dodged all 30 of the hammers, I have severe ADHD, alexthemia, and basically no ability to read or connect to people on an emotional level. But my brain just makes enough serotonin... I'm just happy, and I love myself...it has been a process though, I hope you find a path that brings satisfaction in the self, and some amount of love. We have to figure out how to navigate life, it isn't fair, it isn't supportive, but it never has been, and we prob have a while before it is.
leadinurface
So try and fight onto a path that lets you build the self. It's the only option... Neurodivergent or not... I can't imagine doing it without any support system, I have a small family and 2 friends, but they have been a big motivation and support to me, so I really can't even relate to the challenge you face so take all said with a grain of salt. I do believe it though, life is brutal, but you are the only master of your decisions... <3 good luck, and feel free to dm if you want to vent.
Lalamehlala
I hope you live in a land with universal Healthcare. I hope you find a chance to heal and get yourself the nice life you deserve.
dreikommavierzehn
I live in such a country. Doesn't make any difference at all. Just a whole bunch of doctors, mental health professionals and bureaucrats telling me in all the different ways to get fucked. Just with the difference that I can do it for as long as I like.
fallenman479
I live in the land of the free to do what you're told.
The home of the brazenly exploited.