I'm intersex, and this makes me happy.

I'm intersex, and this makes me happy. 

I was born intersex. This means my private parts were a unholy mash up of boy parts and girl parts. I'm XXY. I was forced to undergo numerous surgeries to make my parts appear normal, and as an adult I have to take hornones. If I was given a choice, I would have declined the cosmetic surgeries, and only agree to the medically nessacary surgeries (like giving me a functional pee hole). I like this picture because I don't comfortably fit into a category. Today, I am dealing with the medical side of being intersex. My vagina is bleeding, but I don't have a uterus. I'm not sure why I'm bleeding. I can wait 2 weeks to see a specialist.. or go to a new doctor and spend 2 hours going over my medical hystory.. which they will probably just refer me to a specialist anyway. I'm angry at my body today. Most days I feel like a counterfeit female. I don't want anymore surgeries on my genitals. This picture, in this context, has nothing to do with GBLT. It has nothing to do with those special snowflakes that make up stupid gender labels. This picture represents how I feel like my body betrayed me. How I can't fit in. There are a lot of myths about intersex people. I'm just trying to excape my thoughts, forget that I'm a deformed loser, and hopefully I don't bleed to death while I wait for my doctor to come back from his Maui vacation.

Edit!! HOLY CATS, IMGUR!! I had no idea this post would get so much attention. I have been really down on myself today. Thank you all so much for the kind words, curious questions, silly GIFS, and wonderful personal stories. If I am still bleeding by the morning, I will be headed to the urgentcare. This bleeding thing has happened off and on for a few months and so far they have no idea what the cause is. The last time this happened they put silver nitrate into my vaginal canal. IT WAS HORRIBLE, and didnt fix the issue, apparently.

some common questions:
Q- do you have a partner/ what gender are you attracted to? A- I am bi/pansexual (whatever its called now.) My partner is Male.

Q- Can you have sex, or masturbate? A- sometimes i can have penetrating sex, and sometimes its too painful. I need lots of lube. I can climax (like a girl). Mostly I use a vibrator externally.

Q- What pronouns do you use? A- i use mostly neutral or feminine pronouns. I'm not offended if someone calls me a boy.

Q- do you take hormones? A- yes. i take estrogen.

Q- what do your genitals look like? A- if you squint, and turn down the lights it looks like a pussy.. I have had a lot of normalizing surgeries on my genitals starting when i was very young.

Q- are these kinds of surgeries common? A yes, very very common. I was born in the 80's and doctors preferred to do surgeries ASAP, and would tell parents to lie to their children about their intersex condition. Some dr's here (USA) still do this, but some are starting to follow the "wait and watch" rule of thumb.

Q- can you have babies? A- No, and thats ok.

Q- Do you have Klienfelter syndrome? A- No. I am moasic/chimea. Its very similar in expression, but has a completely different origin. In uturo, during the first trimester i had a twin. This twin fetus died and I absorbed it. I have other "classic" medical issues that go hand in hand with this. such as hearing loss, deformed bladder, deformed kidneys, seizures and heterochromia (two different colored eyes).

This is a great website if you are unfamiliar with the basics. http://www.isna.org/faq/what_is_intersex

Again, thank you everyone for helping me out of my self-bashing slump. You are all wonderful and I will update in a few days about the bleeding.

UPDATE! (caution, TMI alert)
I was able to see a new doctor, at the same clinic i usually go to. So they had my medical records, and sort of knew about my saga. looks like i have a keloid scar in my vaginal vault (counterfeit vagina lol) that has tissue granulation along the edge of the scar. Last time I was bleeding it was because of granulation, and they applied silver nitrate to melt the tissue.. but my body did not heal well from that. Soon they will cauterize it with a lazer, the odds for this fixing everything are not great. If the lazer doesnt stop the bleeding, or if it makes the scar tissue much worse the last option is vaginal cuff revision. Vaginal cuff revision is a surgery that will remove all of the scar tissue, and most of the vaginal vault, luckily my partner has a small penis (im just joking honey! shhhh! stop crying.. you look fat when you cry) . Currently I am not allowed to have penetrating sex for 3 months.. that sucks. Thanks again for all the love and support, imgur. You are all awesome.