OP has had a bad few weeks

I know that some days it's difficult to get out of bed and face the day, especially when it's the last thing you want to do, but today is one of those days. I've been struggling with some form of depression most of my life and over time I've found it stems from what I'm taking in, whether it be listening to sad music or watching dark TV shows. I discovered that the only memento I have from my Aunt's wedding (her and her partner have been together since I was born and have only recently been able to be married) has been taken from my room and lost by one of my roommates or one of their friends. I am devastated. This picture is from their beautiful and unconventional wedding last September and let me tell you, it was incredible. They even let me play guitar for a hour before the wedding started. It's easy to get lost in the bad times so this post is about trying to stay positive.

I grew up in a small town in Mississippi and genuinely thought I would be there working in a factory for the rest of my life. Through a lot of luck and hard work I've been able to go places and do things I thought I'd never be able to, and I'd like to share that with you.

I played in a band for a little while and did small DIY tours. This is one of my favorite photos from that time because I jumped off stage in time to get in this photo with all these wonderful people. Keep Cleveland Boring.

While I was in that band we did a small MS tour with one of the bigger bands to come from our home state. This is the most people I've ever played for and God I have never been so nervous in my whole life. It was a great show even though our bass player broke a string mid set. I gave it to a girl and the front row and it was the most I've ever felt like a rock star. Good times.

I've been doing Audio Video work for nearly 5 years now and this is mostly what it entails. Hanging TVs and making sure everything is serviceable. This is with the monitors pulled away from each other.

This is them pushed together.

I don't know how, but through sheer luck I ended up subbing for an AV company that travels all over the US installing PA, Lighting, and video systems. This was in Columbia South Carolina. I was really proud of the way this turned out. I don't care if you don't like zip ties.

This is the same job. Here I had to drop some mic lines down to the ceiling grid. This was one of the many times I've been doing something where I easily could have died. And I almost did. 30'+ to the concrete and the board I had spanned almost fell with me on it. It was well after the picture was taken and I get it, don't take pictures while you're doing something dangerous, but come on. Wouldn't you have taken a picture, too?

Here's the finished job in Columbia SC.

This was in Novi, Michigan. It was one of the few times I was afforded the luxury of making the cables as neat as I could. I was really proud of how it turned out, especially how the cable fans to the inputs.

Here's the video control room in Novi. We installed three video walls and this is where the techs decide what gets displayed on them.

Here's the control room with the LED lights I installed. It looks like the whole floor is illuminated, but it isn't. The angle made it look cooler.

Who says you can't have fun on the job?

We only get one off day during traveling gigs, so one Sunday a few of us on the crew went to downtown Detroit. Fun was had. Blah blah no selfies. What are you gonna do? Also I'm not a dick in real life. I only think it's funny to look like one in pictures.

I liked the LED lights so much that I ordered some, but not for me. I ordered them on the drive back from Novi, picked them up at my place in Nashville, then drove straight to MS so I could install them in my Dad's kitchen. He used to wake me up early on my birthday so he could give me my presents. This time I got to do it for him and let me tell you, driving from Michigan to Nashville to MS and installing these bad boys made for a long day, but it was worth it to be able to wake my pops up at 2am to give him his birthday present for once.

I never cared to go to a Titans game, but I didn't get to go to the stadium to work in the owner's suite. That was a good experience.

I spent a week in Irvine California, which is relatively brief given most of the time I work out of town I stay for 3-4 weeks. So far it's my second favorite work trip. I think this was Newport Beach? I can't really remember. But the weather was like nothing I'd ever experienced.

Here's the finished job in California.

WINNIPEG! Now this was my favorite. 3 weeks of "Will I ever feel my face again" and it was more than worth it. Everyone was so daggum nice. And I made good friends.

When I came back from Winnipeg I took a promotion that I'd been putting off for a years worth of freedom. It came with a ton of responsibility and I still feel like I'm taking one step forward and two steps back when I take on a job but as with anything, you get better in time.

My friends gave me an accidental birthday party and my roommate, who is one of my best friends had a pizza made for me. He knows I don't like cake, most desserts actually.

This was my most recent and second job as an official lead installer, though I've lead other jobs without the pay raise or the title. Here you can see the lights the clients ordered cover up the video wall when you're seated at the head of the table. It makes me laugh every time I think about it.

One day it snowed and I made a dick. It was great until my conservative roommate came home. Still worth it.

This is where I spend most of my time at home. I always wanted to have a basement and this place does not disappoint. It's a musicians dream.

And last, but certainly not least (that's what you say, right?) here is my dad. He's the person who taught me what it means to be honest, caring, and hard working. To be considerate of other people's feelings and someone who taught me that if you're taken care of and you have excess, to give to it to people who need it. I can't express enough how much love I have for my father. He is the only true man I have ever known.

I'm not bragging and I'm not trying to say my life is better than anyone's because most days I feel like I have no worth. I feel as though nothing I could do would ever be good enough, and to be quite blunt, I feel as though I'm a failure. But I've coming around to the idea that maybe it's not about being the best all of the time because you'll never feel on top for 100% the journey. It's about finding those moments to celebrate and that's what I'm doing today, if for no one other than me.

TL;DR: OP is depressed but is trying to turn it around by focusing on the positives.