Tweets about marriage

Dec 27, 2017 8:17 PM

Addicted2Groove

Views

122673

Likes

2301

Dislikes

88

Good fun for the whole family!

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I thought something totally different when he said he "shattered the gravy boat."

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"I was talking to the cat." Made me cackle like Emperor Palpaltine.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

These are amusing; married or not.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My husband and I always order different things and swap half way. Get to try so much more food that way. We also declare an ordering winner!

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

please, stop reposting this.

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 16

He can post it if he wants to, Mabel! He’s a grown man!

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 2

*Your whiskers are black, the porcelain sink is white, it's snowing on mount Fuji.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Never been married, lived with a woman once, we skipped the relationship bit, and she just hated me.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The cat was cool though

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Saturday night: can't take wife's snoring, so I sleep on couch. Sunday night: wife can't take my snoring, wakes me up to roll over. WTF?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

She still wants to be close to u despite your annoying habits, u leave....it’s “fine” go load the dishwasher, but make sure it’s not perfect

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Tried to be sexy with the wife, and bit her arse, missed and bit her leg, fucker straight up donkey punched me

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Colds actually do affect women differently. Large national medical study just proved it.

8 years ago | Likes 136 Dislikes 7

Scientific sauce: http://www.bmj.com/content/359/bmj.j5560

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

You the real mvp man

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Man flu is super deadly, like 150% are going to die from it at least once!

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 5

I've already died twice from it, and I'll probably catch it several more times in my life.

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

Men are more likely to suffer serious complications requiring hospitalization and have a higher death rate from the flu.

8 years ago | Likes 71 Dislikes 0

“So when my husband died of the flu, he wasn’t just being dramatic?” -American Voices, the Onion, 12/18/17

8 years ago | Likes 43 Dislikes 0

What nation?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Canada

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Canada and Hong Kong

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I was just wondering about that, so many men have a hard time with it I figured there might be a biological reason. Sauce?

8 years ago | Likes 32 Dislikes 0

Source to study? Thx

8 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Saucing

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Two comments up where someone else asked. Sauce be there.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Everyone warned me that marriage sucks! Did I listen? No! I still think marriage is the best thing that ever happened to me!

8 years ago | Likes 162 Dislikes 2

Wait for it... WAIIIIT FOR IT...

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 10

Yes, fistbump for not being a lazy cynical prick

8 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 1

How long have you two had a drinking and/or drug problem?

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 2

No doubt in my mind, my wife is the best thing that ever happened to me, 35+ years. . .

8 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

marriage only sucks if you get married before you get tired of faking it for dating, because they're definitely going to notice it after.

8 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 1

Wat

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

a lot of relationships start out "faking it" right? like you both pretend to be better than you really are, because you don't trust them to

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

like the "real" you. and then some people never stop faking it, and get married, and the partner catches on that it's all fake, and then

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

everything is bad. OR.. you stop faking it, be the real you, and if everything is still good, then you could have a good marriage.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

It was the best thing that happened to me! Only took two tries.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Me too. If you hate your spouse, you're doing it wrong.

8 years ago | Likes 31 Dislikes 0

Exactly!!

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Sigh. I did it wrong.

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

It's happens. We are all flawed. I just get annoyed when people act like it's the institution of marriage's fault and not their own.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Want to tell us about it?

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Just got engaged. Any tips?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Don't be selfish or let your ego control you. I think the hardest part for a lot of people is learning to view their spouse as truly equal.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Meaning, you actually consider their desires and perspective as equally valid and important as your own. It's very hard in practice.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Communication. Don’t bottle stuff up. If you can’t be open, then the relationship is doomed to failure from the start.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

3/3 getting angry (used to) I've started cleaning it and putting it away as a small gesture of love. I know I do similar things.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Honestly, let the little things go, take deep breaths, focus on their strengths and not flaws. Trust, honesty, for real communication.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Always remember that it would be unrealistic and unfair to expect another imperfect human to meet your every need.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

2/3 caused by your spouse is an opportunity to show them some love. Eg.: My wife loves to leave the dirty cutting board out. Instead of

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Talk it out but also realize when the issue isn't something that is going to derail your relationship. An annoyance or inconvenience 1/2

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Anger is a defensive reaction to feeling hurt, but you'll communicate much more effectively if you just...

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

...let your spouse see the hurt. Screaming at each other never helps.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0