A swirl of emotion right now.

Dragonspiller

1048

I feel a lot of things. Validation, for knowing my struggles weren't in my head. Sadness at the knowledge that I am, for lack of a better term, broken. Anger for being neglected by the system for so long and uncertainty of what will happen now.
I've always struggled with keeping jobs, especially once I started full time work. It feels like everything is answered now and... A part of me is relieved that I'm not just lazy, but I'm also scared to know that... I can never be "fixed" or "normal".
It's going to take some time for this to settle. Right now, I think this is a good first step and my therapist suggested a lot of helpful resources. I just need to pay my dues and talk to my county now... Thanks for listening imgur, I know I had lots of ups and downs but these answers... They explain a lot.
Edit: I apologize for my wording. I should not have said I was broken because of my diagnoses. I have trouble viewing myself positively and felt broken for so... so long. This just kind of felt like a negative reinforcement. However autistic people or people with adhd are not broken, I just need time to see myself in a positive light and I apologize if it felt like I attacked anyone like me.

NorthRex

I got autism and anxiety in the same week too. We're soul brothers / sisters / whatevers!

1 year ago |

thisplaceisjustanothernewssitenow

Meh

ILiketodoThingsandStuff

Welcome to the team.

Moochicat13

I know how you feel I wasn't diagnosed with adhd until I was in my 20s anxiety after that autism in my 40s so the whole mixed emotions and the feeling of being broken will be their for awhile. You will find new ways to cope which I'm still doing but you will find them

TheWonderfulWizardOfOs

Yeah the validation helps. Talk to your therapist to get some guidance on coping mechanisms

LadyRex

In AvP2, the predator monster was after the autistic kid because he was the next evolutionary step. So not only are you not broken but the predator thinks you're cool.

FeIineDisrespectFromBehind

Being autistic does not mean you're broken. I got diagnosed a few years ago, and it took some time to process, but the way I see it, I wouldn't be me if I wasn't autistic, and I like being me.

Vkiwi2

who wants to be normal... sooo boring.. embrace this and close in on your unfair advantages you have been given.. acknowledge your weaknesses but don't let them define you. I'm in a similar boat.. minus the diagnosis

HamDangler7TheLuckOfTheDangle

The trifecta v

LeggoMySteggo

I'm in the same boat and please don't think of yourself as broken. You're neurodivergent and this world was not remotely built for you. That doesn't make you broken at all. In my experience being aware of what you're working with makes it easier to understand your limits and in what ways to be kind to you. I hated myself for so many years because I didn't understand why life just seemed so much easier for everyone else. Be kind to yourself, and listen to your body's needs. You got this!

jwhennig

My psych doctor only tacked on the spectrum a few years ago and I’m in my 40s. (Turns out normies can’t smell even numbers or something. Weird.) You. Are. Not. Wrong. Just wired differently. Now build up new coping strats and focus on healing from past difficulties.

dreyfusslugado

You are not broken, you simply live in a world optimized for people whose brains operate differently than yours. This description will not make anything easier for you, but hopefully seeing things with this perspective will help you to find those areas of life where your particular mental traits will benefit your life, instead of being at odds with it.

Being autistic and ADHD with anxiety doesn't mean something is wrong with you. Sure, we struggle with things other people ,but we have a much deeper understanding of it, and can empathize in a way neurotypical people can't. I know life can be difficult, but try and see it, maybe just a little bit as a gift. The gift of empathy for others in similar situations. It's helped me, and honestly, I wouldn't want to be any other way.

Struggle with things other people don't* stupid phone removed an entire word, lol

JackHL01

OMG, the unholy trinity.
I would say i am with you, but thank the old gods and the new, i have only two!

ActionJohnnie

https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTY1YjkxZmJlMGJhNXE3bHlmMXhlZGp1ODVwMmhvNjI5bjlmYmNjeTZwcTUxeWFpayZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/qTzVnPGxi6Afdb52qO/giphy.mp4

Lonewolfing

Tell em Meatloaf

atrielienz

Hold. Up. You are not broken just because you're wired differently. I have lived with ADHD my whole life. My son has autism. We are just different. Don't sell yourself short.

I'm sorry. I kind of realize how damaging my wording was. I always felt like something was wrong with me. I felt useless and like I fell behind. I still view myself negatively, and that's why I call myself broken. I can see why so many people downvoted now, as it can read as me saying all autistic people are broken. My girlfriend is also autistic with adhd, and she is so strong...

I can understand trying to conform and seeing from the inside out that things don't add up and you aren't the same/this is harder for you than the people you observe around you. It's frustrating as hell. Especially when you don't know why. I'm glad you got your diagnosis and I'm glad to see you getting to benefit from the support system out there for neurodivergent people. It's important to acknowledge that you have been strong this whole time. When you didn't know. When things didn't add up and

you were struggling. You got this far. If you can acknowledge the "failures" (not being successful at holding down a job and so on), you can acknowledge your successes, whatever they may be. And it's important to do that. You've been doing so much work this whole time that a lot of neurotypical people don't have to do and don't understand. Take advantage of the supports on offer and do what is best for you.

And don't be sorry. Your feelings are valid. You don't have to apologize for them. The way you communicate may be different than how a lot of people do it. But you're just being you. It's okay to just be you.

Comments (23)