nophables6
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Jan 26, 2022 2:09 PM
nophables6
132077
986
29
Speedmetal05
What about Unicorns?
qtRaven
Rapier Tapir!
Idontneedrealfacts
Weird, it's as though The Book of Mormon was just a bunch of crap made up by someone o. The spot
LordAuditorVorkosigan
mormons are fucking stupid if they believe their own theology
BosunMark
How far back do you want to go?
ProtagonistofReality
Here comes Mongo!
DocMilsap
Santa Maria!
dogsmycopilot
Bears got used in battle. Wojtek was one such bear, interesting story about him if one is inclined to Google it.
SherMattLockSmith
beenpostingsince
No.
iamthisguy247
What about Battlecat? I know this is a historical post, and He-Man is certainly not historical….
kesselrunfun
Horses were reintroduced by the Spanish, they had already been there
moxieCakeBaron
I had to go look this up out of curiosity and was not disappointed
MiniMegaOfParagonCity
Wait tapirs are south American. Why didn't they just say deer? That would make sense.
standingalone
I think using deer would be like having guide cats for the blind after seeing that deer on the fp jumping over the path!
Ryanator50
Yeah riding into battle on a 12 point stag or moose would be badass
NotACanadian
There are tapirs in southern Mexico and Central America. Not big enough to ride obviously
ImmaCatImmaSexyCat
Or moose. Big, strong, aggressive. They make sense, physically. They can totally carry a full-grown man into battle.
Thegreenestthumb9
Not necessarily, Elephants are big and strong but the structure of their spine causes them great pain and damage when they carry people,
Thegreenestthumb9
Even zebras can't be ridden safely due to the shape of their spines, and they're related to horses.
Sauroctonus
Even horses for q while couldn't be ridden for more than just scouting and relaying messages. That's why the first warhorses pulled chariots
greyghost714
Book of Mormons so dinosaurs are not out of the realm of possibility
NotACanadian
People rode zebras a lot more commonly than pophistory makes it seem. German East Africa used zebra scouts pretty often.
maelstromverbae
The most hilarious part is that horses are native to North America, they were just extinct here for a geologically insignificant time
ZKHsaysHowdy
Although I am no longer active in the LDS Church (Mormons), I was for about 30 years. I have NEVER heard the Tapir story. 1/2
ZKHsaysHowdy
2/2 You either believe/trust or you don't. Why make up stoopid shite?
TheBestSpiderQueen
The Book of Mormon is at least as valid a historical document as the Bible
Irreal
The Bible was compiled out of stories by people living around that time in the region, over many generations showing changing believes.
riderofthepurplesage
as is LOTR
sparkyichidestroyeroflitterboxes
Probably a better question for Reddit after dark
rykinpoe
I remember seeing one account of a man on a buffalo.
erotemeeroteme
For those who haven't yet witnessed it: https://youtu.be/iJ4T9CQA0UM
AiAmSisiphys
Not a battle mount, but apparently Giraffes and Ostriches can be saddled and ridden
ImmaCatImmaSexyCat
Oh my god it's true! https://youtu.be/pu8JB3XX4OI
astrofuzzics
To be a battle mount, an animal has to have stamina for extended exertion. Rhino maybe, but tigers do short sprint bursts, not long battles
JollyJokzr
How far does cavalry ride during a single battle? Thought it was a bit of maneuvering, waiting and a single charge
theBonyEaredAssfish
One example but Prince Edward Longshank's cavalry would have went (some charging, mostly not) around 8 miles in a few hours at Lewes, 1264.
theBonyEaredAssfish
Another is the Polish Polish Chevau-légers, who, roughly measuring, charged around 3 miles in one direction at Somosierra, 1808.
TheBlueMuppet
Imagine trying to get your mounted tiger to behave in battle.
scottEkarate
Joseph Smith must've been absent that day in history class
EggFooYung
Not historical, but I loved the bit in The Hobbit movie where Dain Ironfoot shows up riding an armoured pig.
textilelover
These are RASKABELL Rabbits!!
Reinette
Boars, if trainable, would be terrifying as a battle mount. Domestic pigs scare me, because they can be nasty and they will fuck you up.
SithElephant
They are quite trainable. Probably a bit short though.
Reinette
Pigs yes, wild boats probably less so. Should have been more specific ??
Reinette
I also want to qualify this by saying my husband is a farm vet, & the only calls that really worry me are dairy bulls & anything pig related
SithElephant
If you raise the offspring of a wild boar and a wild sow from a piglet, you have a 'wild boar' that knows you're part of its family, and is
SithElephant
really quite smart.
Reinette
Fuck sake, just noticed the typo ?
RobertTheBruise
Trollero
That...is a sign of apocalipsis "And I looked and behold a pale horse and his name that sat on him?Albeart Death and hell followed with him"
SteveMND
Did someone mention Battle Tapirs...?
skinkabamba
Is that some Rune Quest art I spy?
SteveMND
Get this man an upvote and a war bison!
PrincessNakedMoleRat
@elbowdeepinatapir
bigeasy44
How about Rapier Tapir?
BrownNormandy
I'm more interested in falchion falcon there..
xj4low
You forgot they hold the largest penis per body size for any mammal in the world.
skunkaway2000
And it's prehensile ?
HaberdasherInGold
I heard they were the third, after the walrus and myself.
bigeasy44
Ghlargh
Must be really hard for you to reach those top shelves then. (/s)
PreOpBear
There was definitely horses in North America at one point prior to Europeans.
PreOpBear
Europeans just brought them back.
69thStPepper
Monarchs would often hitch strange animals to chariots as a show of power, but you can't really train most wild animals to ride
Whackamoley
Why not? Want to understand the thought process. A weight issue I can understand and just plucking an animal out of the wild I can too -
Whackamoley
- but a tamed animal that can pull surely could be trained to ride as well assuming it was physically possible?
LittleRobot71
Good video that goes over some of that: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOmjnioNulo
Irishda
Which is the issue. Most of them aren't tameable, and the ones that are are few and far in terms of physical possibility
69thStPepper
Domestication takes generations, and very few species are inclined toward it. You can't just tame an animal, even if raised in captivity
Whackamoley
How do you define tame? Is a fox living in someone's house tame but not domesticated? Can you tame a rhino?
69thStPepper
We're talking about riding them, and by that, no, rhinos won't take direction unless you hurt them. It's been tried
michaelangelosautograph
Horses did exist in North America before the Spanish (re)introduction, but had gone extinct at the end of the last ice age
Kbantar
So many iconic species evolved first in the Americas only to die off here.
Sauroctonus
I'm still mad about the ground sloths.
Kbantar
Even with that recent evidence that they ate some meat most likely carrion?
Sauroctonus
Yes.
CallMeSleeper
Mooses has also been used.
emenelopee
Mousse
7thSonOfANinja
That one Elf dude had like a super horse with moose antlers
stlouiscardinalsfan7
That would be terrifying
wanjeonhanwalwal
*moosuch
TywinStannister
Might be a myth, might have existed: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moose_cavalry
AiAmSisiphys
exCUZE ME FAKIN' HWAT‽
rbudrick
The correct plural is Moists.
TywinStannister
I believe they were tested but were found to be too intelligent. They refused to go near battles. They worked as scouts though.
hyenan786
They are solitary wich makes them a nightmare to train properly.
Cthulhuonabike
Moose intelligent? This is news to me
TywinStannister
Smart enough to not go where bullets and cannonballs fly all over the place.
Cthulhuonabike
Well that doesn't take a rocket scientist
CallThisAUsername
Meese.
ValamirCleaver
"I hate them Edwin Meeses to pieces."
TheUpstart
Moosen.
Yenaldooshi
The ones out in the woodsen?
Cthulhuonabike
What are you talking about Brian?
apneax3n0n
english is such a stupid language when it's about rules
Hashbrown123
But Moose is not English.
iamthisguy247
Meeses?
ModusPonens
A møøse once bit my sister
BobbyVegana
A hungry, bellicose or kinky bite?was the moose a Furry suit? Too many details are needed
BM0noire
Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked have been sacked
MarkRavingMad
I feel like there's a story here.
igglebotato
Yeah you could say that. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urRkGvhXc8w
4Astaroth
Maybe it's amoosing.
warmyourbeans
No realli! She was Karving her initials on the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge
warmyourbeans
- her brother-in-law - an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: "The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist", "Fillings of Passion",
warmyourbeans
"The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink"...
Maxobb
That’s actually horrifying
Teddyoh
The swedes had a semi successful moose cavalry. But it turns out that moose were a lot more difficult to train than horses.
Teddyoh
As they panicked when canons were fired and stampeded(?) their own camp, a lot of people died, and so they stopped using them.
bill4935
Canada. Has. Never. Lost. A. War.
swellguy18
Yeah everyone makes jokes about Canada being super nice, but their national sport involves bladed feet and fisticuffs. Also their soldiers 1
swellguy18
are no joke. Canada is the big, quiet, polite guy you don't piss off.
CallThisAUsername
"Death !" yelled the Germans. "If you insist" the Canadians answered.