Olpa
232260
4769
330
Fp edit; I finally understand the rip inboxes...
Pm boobies, butts or cat bleps :)
Dec 1, 2017 10:02 AM
Olpa
232260
4769
330
Fp edit; I finally understand the rip inboxes...
Pm boobies, butts or cat bleps :)
THEbartTHE
Put some garlic in your Lucky Charms and let me know if #3 is true.
Ohyesireallydidthat
When making food, you can advantageously use a stove for heating up your food
gman41750
Bull poop!!!!!! You opinionated so n so!!
Slappy2016
Don’t tell me what to wear when I’m cooking bacon. Good DAY sir!
Babathrowaway
Never cook bacon with your shirt off
BigBurkhart
I mean, I like being naked as much as anyone else, but enjoy having searing hot grease burnt into your flesh. Likely between your legs.
hamaninator123
Are you telling me too cook bacon with CLOTHS ?? that is preposterous (⚫ે෴ۜ⚫)
MrPeterCapaldi
.
Skornish
Just don't burn your meat.
Ilove314159
I said GOOD DAY!
wholettheusernamesout
A nude apron is the best actually
AmericanGh0st
Line a metal baking sheet with tin foil, cut bacon in half then fill the tray, place pan in cold oven, turn oven to 350 f, bake for 20 min.
SomeDetroitGuy
Woohoo! Bland, flovorless bacon!
Dalylah
+1 because I read that in Willy Wonka's voice.
ObsLamprey
No no, it's the BACON that can't be naked. Common mistake.
scholarsdream
I...still dunno what that means. Is naked like with seasoning? Oil?
Doopapotamus
No, the bacon needs tiny clothing. Tiny hats, tiny pants and skirts, maybe a tiny scarf and bacon-sized shoes.
Orangepenguinz
But fez!
1kidwonder
I said good day!
Bathroomboy
I said good DAY!
MenaceToSobriety
Many of these seem to be matters of preference, rather than "right and wrong".
InoffensivePablum
So I added some garlic and now no one wants a piece of my chocolate cake. Philistines.
UpRisen
IDK about garlic and chocolate, but i absolutely love garlic and cinnamon paired together.
Rokfish
Add more cheese
bukobg
You monster.
helpimbeingoppressed
More cake for you.
DavidRoland
Try jalapenos next time
Billy2sweet
I'd eat garlic cake
ahiso
there's pizza cake that has garlic so that is technically a Cake with garlic
Billy2sweet
I love white garlic pizza. it's pizza with Alfredo sauce and garlic all ontop
SharkyMcSnarkface
I want a full gif.
SovereignPhantasmia
You have some weird ass tastes.
cougar9001
The baking soda for eggs is bullshit. Nothing added to water helps. Steam for 11 minutes then immediate cold water bath
cougar9001
Source: I eat hard boiled eggs every day for breakfast. Have cooked thousands of eggs. Usually do 24 at a time and using this method
cougar9001
I usually have one hard to peel egg out of every two batches. Not out of the ordinary to have 24 perfect, easy to peel eggs.
cougar9001
Although if you do more than 12 eggs in a steamer basket go to 15 minutes of steam at a rolling boil
TheRealAngelS
It's just a matter of freshness, though. Use eggs that are at least 3 days old and you can simply boil them.
Tarrondor
Some of these are total bullshit. Just an FYI.
LesserEvils
The secret to not tearing up when cutting onions, is to not form an emotional bond with them before you cut.
EliMFrost
At first I wondered what I was suppose to wrap bacon in to make it not naked then I realized what it meant and you can't tell me what to do.
definitelynotawolf
Right? My kitchen, my rules
UnrustleYerJimmies
What does it mean? That one confused me.
MightyTightyWhities
I was with you until the baking soda/boiled eggs one.... I know that’s bullsheet!
ManByTechnicality
It totally is. What actually works is put the eggs in a pot, and fill with water to half the height of the egg so half the egg is (1/?)
ManByTechnicality
(2/?) Sticking out of the water. Cover and put on stove until boiling. Once boiling, time those bad boys for about 15 minutes. Then put ...
ManByTechnicality
3/? Them in ice water or run cool water over them until they are cool to the touch. Then you have easy to peel perfect hard-boiled eggs
TheRealAngelS
Or just don't use super-mega-fresh eggs. Because it's all a matter of freshness. After they're about 3 days old they peel just fine.
StringCheeseTheorum
There is a "Deep Blue Sea" reference hidden in there.
negasonicmidlifecrisis
You are alright by me stringcheesetheorum
SergeantSalsa
These are mostly just opinion based things and some are total bs
SarcasticComment
But on the internet, every meme is an authority
hardytardigrade
One of them is stolen word for word from a Martin Yan cookbook
senoranderpants
The cake one is especially triggering.
GoodGuyGonzo
Maybe an unpopular opinion but I really don’t like garlic
FriscoeHotsauce
Having sliced my thumb on my new, sharp chef's knife recently, that's bullshit about dull knives being more dangerous
vulturedoors
Dull knives are more dangerous because you use more force when cutting with them, which results in more severe injuries if the blade slips.
valarjk
dull knives=you use more force=bad things can happen. also sharp blade= fine cut as opposed to literally ripping your skin open by force
valarjk
so it can heal better
kayakninjas
Adding a potato is useless.
alfmeister6227
Sounds like a lot of things you hear in life. Not just restricted to cooking.
GeorgeHWBushsGhost
Weight instead of volume...
definitelynotawolf
Lol username checks out
bilborrax
Things like sifted flour take up more volume than compressed flour. This is irrelevant if weighed.
LupusIgnis
Always.
LOlMyNameIs
You don't actually need salt in pasta, it's just fine without
Ireallycantthinkofanythingbetterrightnow
yep, you can eat your pasta as bland as you want
InCaseOfStairsUseFire
It helps tremendously tho.
vulturedoors
Maybe meant a dollop of oil, because that helps prevent the pasta from sticking together.
AntiDownVoteActivist
Salt affects taste. Boiling with enough water and room prevents sticking. Also stir that shit until it comes back up to a boil!
wdsncs
And prevents your sauce from being absorbed by/sticking to the pasta properly...
DontNeedAWeatherManToKnowWhichWayTheWindBlows
You don't actually *need* salt in just about everything - but it enhances flavor.
Kelebek
It's not for flavour, it raises the boiling point of the water, letting you use hotter water without boiling, and the pasta to cook better.
Kelebek
Same reason goose fat is better than standard oils for potatoes, it allows you to roast at a higher temperature before burning.
ColonelColon
Have you eaten pasta without sauce/salt? Tastes bland as fuckin water.
DontNeedAWeatherManToKnowWhichWayTheWindBlows
Hardly. You'd have to add a massive amt of salt to change the bp by any noticeable diff. If you want to raise the BP, use a pressure cooker.
UncleKarl
"Microwaving bacon is ok"
amishcannoli
If its not an anti-lifehack, then that statement is criminally foolish.
definitelynotawolf
The taste and texture is identical to deep fried bacon. It’s good as long as you like it extra crispy. I personally think baked is best.
potatotheloaf
But it’s best to “bake your bake-on”
LupusIgnis
Some layers of paper towels on a plate, one layer of bacon, paper towels on top. Nuke it. Try it.
potatotheloaf
Yup
uzerok
Unfortunately microwaves do not heat evenly. Arranging the food in a ring helps.
doctorbees
This is why many microwaves have a turntable.
LupusIgnis
That only partly solves the problem: https://www.evilmadscientist.com/2011/microwave-oven-diagnostics-with-indian-snack-food/
vulturedoors
Some brands nuke better than others, also.
bunnyrut
the weight for the cakes doesn't seem right at all. i bake a lot and never are any of the good recipes close in weight for measuring.
mormacil
Freedom units? Kilos and liters for things like flour, milk and salt are interchangeably. So a scale under a mixing bowl works flawlessly.
RubyPorto
Also, *margarine* has no place in something claiming to be a "perfect cake"
thatfucknguy
It's basically a pound cake recipe. Any measurement can be used as long as they're all equal.
ohjohnboy
It's that where the name comes from? 1lbs of every ingredient
thatfucknguy
Yessir. Pound of butter, flour, sugar, and eggs.
GeminiBattle
17-7 Facts to opinion/BS... So mostly facts. Source: I'm a Chef
GeminiBattle
Just re-read them. When cooking FRESH pasta use a lot of water. When cooking dried pasta use as little water as you can like rice. 16-8
THExPILLOx
I appreciate the time you have given to responding. Can you elaborate further on this one in particular?
GeminiBattle
Dry pasta is perfect when it doubles in weight. So if you put in a lb of pasta you put in a pound of water and get 2 lbs of pasta. 1/?
GeminiBattle
It gives it the perfect al dente finish. but can be overcooked in just one minute, or by sitting in the water when off. 2/?
ThatsGrimKraken
Can you confirm "cold oil, hot pan"? I've always learned to NEVER heat the pan before adding oil.
GeminiBattle
Depends. General use is BS.. When I sear steak I'll heat up the pan and brush oil on the steak so in that case technically cold oil hot pan
GeminiBattle
But in general practice it's crazy dangerous to superheat oil in a hot pan.
GeminiBattle
Do you want an oil fire? because that's how you get an oil fire. And you can't put that shit out with water. gotta smother it. Milk works
khimeira
Is the potato in the oversalted thing real or just BS?
dabutcha76
It helps a little, but of course much better to go easy on the salt to begin with. You can always add more later as needed.
GeminiBattle
BS. It does absorb the salt, but once you've added too much salt you've ruined the dish. Always add salt slowly, and understand...
GeminiBattle
The more a soup/sauce reduces the more flavorful/salty it will get. So if it tastes good and you cook it 20 more minutes it will be salty
GeminiBattle
But you would prefer flavor from reducing rather than adding spices.
CravenSouls
#3 is completely wrong. I tried adding garlic to my apple pie and it just made my wiener smell bad.
robertsonofpaul
skwrl71
It also sucks if you're cooking for guests and they're vampires. My wife is still annoyed with me about that.
skwrl71
^--- best comment in the thread, regardless of what votes tell you
FleeseekstheMeeseeks
randomthoth
2 eggs worth(4 ounces) baking powder, that cake will be awesome
AntiDownVoteActivist
http://i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/016/646/marvin.PNG
goodisunpopular
The adding a potato to salty food is a myth. It's best to up the ingredient by a serving portion until the flavor balances out.
StarryPlough
As someone who actually knows how to cook, a lot of these were hard to read....
leat
Potatoes dont soak up salt. They release starch (sugar) that sweetens and helps to balance the dish. You could use carrot too.
AntaNce
it's a solution. tater don't remove or cover salt flavor. yer just makin it bigger, more mass to dilute the solution.
CwmMakesPeopleCryInScrabble
They don't do much. Side by side comparisons of pre and post potato broths taste the same.
TokenBlindGuy
Ew no I refuse to microwave bacon
largebear
I dont even own a microwave. I prefer pans.
Direwolf05
I used my toaster over but fuck microwaves. BLASPHEMY!
definitelynotawolf
I generally disapprove of cooking in a microwave, but bacon comes out evenly crispy with all the fat cooked it out. It’s an exception
CyborgScribe
As a crispy bacon lover microwaves work pretty well for me.
LupusIgnis
You need to pad it with paper towels to absorb the excess fat, but then it is surprisingly good.
promotewhirledpeas
Agreed, not sure it's preferable to other methods, but gets the job done!
Direwolf05
BLASPHEMY!!
MrAgnosticman
I would rather bake my bacon before resorting to microwaved bacon. Good damn normies.
DarthLabradoodle
Convection oven FTW.
Paninisareallevil
Nnnnggggg oven bacon is so damn fineee
Dyledion
What are you supposed to dress the bacon in? Pepper?
TheRealAngelS
You're supposed to dress yourself. Not the bacon.
digichalk
Underwater onion cutting?! lmao
AIComments
Just buy the onion googles. Done and done. Want to save money? Buy cheap lab goggles or even swim googles.
Ireallycantthinkofanythingbetterrightnow
on my way to cutting some onions
digichalk
Hehe
MrAgnosticman
Is this like underwater basket weaving? I don't have a big enough pool or scuba gear to cut onions.
YouThinkThatsBad
Pro-tip: buy a round plastic pool and cut onions underwater in your living room to avoid tears. After dinner, your guests will have 1/2
YouThinkThatsBad
a super FUNyun pool party for dessert!
VitameatavegaminItsSoTastyToo
Throw the onion in the freezer for 30 minutes. Or procrastinate like me, throw it in for 5 and expect the same result and get tears.
wdsncs
This is effective and way more practical than "underwater onion cutting;" no idea why you were downvoted.
VitameatavegaminItsSoTastyToo
Downvote fairy was too busy crying from cutting themselves with the underwater method and hit the downvote button.
Primaltiguere
If your knife is as sharp as it should be, you won't cry from cutting onions. Simple as that.
Nearlyburly
Thank you. How the hell do you do that? Maybe under running water? I do peel them that way, but if you are dicing, they would wash away.
snotcaulk
http://s3-ak.buzzfeed.com/static/2015-04/13/12/enhanced/webdr03/enhanced-7126-1428944252-5.jpg
claykie
I think it's not running water, but in a pan or bowl under water
Nearlyburly
Maybe so, but I still don't understand how to do the cutting in a pan or a bowl. You would need a very short knife blade to work.
FrigginCornflakes
You're thinking too small. Get a snorkel and submerge yourself. Although maybe just wearing the snorkel would work while cutting normally.
khimeira
Don't you have a kitchen pool with assorted diving suit?
Rokfish
OP you and I will have some issues if you tell me I can only use 2 eggs in an omelet
Vectron
Depends on the size of the skillet. 1 large or 2 small eggs->omelette or scrambled eggs for 1 piece of toast. Want more - make more; INYS:)
RussianBlueJay
Exactly. I add milk, or sour cream. Jack White has a belief of 3's and so do I.
AvsFreak
IHOP makes their omelets with a bit of the pancake batter in them. They're great.
fr1080f
2 eggs for cowboy sandwich, 3 for an omelette.
AmatureSpaceCowboy
Jaffaryy
I swear it's omelette
Jaffaryy
Not omelet, just your friendly neighbourhood nazi don't mind me
Yourmuffinfuckingsucks
I stopped reading at that. It depends on pan size and what you wanna eat.
ManByTechnicality
Therenis nothing saying you can't eat 4 - 2 egg omelettes
ToneyLoo
Omelet OP finish but I agree with Rokfish.
Error404TrollNotFound
Took me way too long to get the pun
TheSkepticDyslexicNihilist
Was that supposed to be a yolk?
ToneyLoo
It's eggxactly what it looks like, I hatched this plan and poached your upvote but now it shell stop, it's over...easy.
TheSkepticDyslexicNihilist
Fuck just take all the puns from everyone else lol
ToneyLoo
*bows*
LuckyWristbands
I gave you a point for that
pres2pond
Only two eggs per omelette, but no limit on omelettes per person.
EllisTomago
Who says you can only have one omelet?
SirDistic
Like who even uses less than 5 in an omelet?
jhawker27
Goddamn amateurs, that's who.
MattDark86
I use one, but then I use Ostrich Eggs
kmikl
If you're not using pterodactyl eggs, you're not cooking in my kitchen.
zigbigidorlu
I make all mine with a single egg. You butter the pan, then rotate the pan to spread out the egg once added.
YouThinkThatsBad
That sounds like a crepe-y sounding omelette. And yes that’s supposed to sound like crappy because I’m sure it’s that too.
zigbigidorlu
It's actually very delicious. It's got the butter flavour built into a crispy egg shell, and holds it's weight in fillings.
IamJustinSane
Came here to say that. 3-4 eggs minimum. Plus using a teaspoon of water (not milk) makes it fluffier.
azmyth1
6 eggs at least.
shiftingillusion
You can add milk but that's a milkshake
JifLover
There's always one slide that makes me question all the other slides. This is that one slide.
jhawker27
For srs. Them's fighting words.
itsdarkandicantseewhatimtyping
That line was from LL Cool Jay in Deep Blue Sea in which he played a cook, no idea why it would be included here.
BulletToofTony
I came looking for this comment
Derfalke
If citing LL Cool J for your cooking advice is wrong, I don't wanna be right.
ThatsMySecretCapImAlwaysHorny
@OP don't know the diameter of my frying pan
PunjabiMacgyver
seriously, i use almost a dozen eggs daily in mine, 1 yolk only usually.
nyxandria
I'm like 100% positive that's a direct quote from Deep Blue Sea.
Orion1030
Fat butt. You've got a big fat butt.
CottonTheClown
It is. Never take advice from movies.
HarryDresdenIsMySpiritAnimal
It is a direct quote from Deep Blue Sea. Terrible movie, wonderful LL Cool J character.
ManByTechnicality
I thought the same thing
Arock77
"DEEP BLUE SEEEAAA?" "THEY ATE ME, A FUCKING SHARK ATE ME!" - Sam Jackson
PeterPanPeanutButterAlert
DRINK UP, MUTHAFUCKA
RawDogginChixSince2000Six
- Dave Chappell
RawDogginChixSince2000Six
"'You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take." - Wayne Gretzky' - Michael Scott"
rudejohn
"Chappelle
thematman
Or if you tell me it's a mistake to add milk. Bitch Martha Stewart said to add milk and it works. I'm not listening to a picture with text.
Halykan
Yeah I mean, I prefer heavy cream but milk is acceptable.
ItCanOnlyBeANipple
No. No-one is ' listening' to a picture with with text. We're reading it.
twozerooz
Dur derp derp derp hur dur
thematman
Wow. You must feel so clever to have pointed that out.
Elroydb
Alton Brown on Good Eats taught me to add milk. The eggs themselves don't have enough moisture. Unless you like dry flat omlettes
IamJustinSane
Most chefs add a bit of water, makes it fluffier. Milk is too dense. Cream is worse. Cheese is a necessity.
Elroydb
Who besides someone who is lactose intolerant would make an omelette without cheese???
IamJustinSane
Only a psychopath.
kmikl
@OP likes many dry, flat things... like... sticks. Bundles of 'em!
definitelynotawolf
Right? Any good cook knows that dairy fat and eggs are meant for each other
thematman
Thank you! Hey, wait... are you a wolf? I think you might be a wolf.
definitelynotawolf
CatGoesMeh
[deleted]
[deleted]
RawDogginChixSince2000Six
In your head you hear it. Technically
thematman
I think it was pretty clear what I meant... and yet I knew at least one person would say this. Excuse me--type this.
sunyudai
Check his username.
TechnicallyRight
Have a better day. my morning is shit and yours and my comment made me laugh and perked my day up a tiny bit. still got my upvote.
thematman
Have a better day? I like that. Thanks. I'll try. You too.
flamingflamingo
It makes them nice and fluffy.
Cypheri
If you're using fresh eggs and the correct techniques they'll be nice and fluffy all on their own.
kmikl
I've gotten them fresh from the coup, and I'll still add milk, butter and cheese if I so please, and they will be an omelette.
Cypheri
You get eggs fresh from a violent seizure of power from the government? I also mentioned fresh eggs AND correct technique.
flamingflamingo
I buy eggs from the store, crack them in a bowl, add milk, and whip them a little. No muss no fuss.
GlowstickJedi
I threw some onions out of my window. Now I'm a sauce making God.
Coolbacca
Why did he cook throw spices out the wndow? Because he wanted to see thyme fly! Hahahhahahahahiusepunstomaskmydepression
CaptainRedHook
Cutting onions underwater is a nice way to slice the ever living fuck out of your fingers
Mr3inches
I want to see the first thing you favorited that you are totally ashamed of.
BORGALOOGIE
#5 You don’t want to RUIN EVERYTHING FOREVER
InternetExplorer2001
Dip your strawberries in balsamic syrup and add a pinch of pepper to make your tongue have an orgasm
poopcha
How about you dip me in strawberries and give me an orgasm
Jabbaaaaaaa
potatotheloaf
Uh... do you all know each other?
bunnyrut
edtwozeronine
If balsamic syrup is anything like balsamic vinegar, I don't want any!
AmatureSpaceCowboy
DefinatelyNotaNinja
How about I dip a strawberry in you to give you an orgasm
SmileyBonesArt
orbit919
how about I cover you in balsamic syrup and use my tongue to give you an orgasm
onlyhalfghost
So, uh, where am I putting this pepper mill, guys?
ForTheSwarm
https://community.imgur.com/uploads/default/19477/e00f870d99cedb37.png
tytrim89
My current obsession is bacon on the grill I would highly recommend it
Coolbacca
You put it directly over the flame? I imagine it is an acquired skill as not to get flare ups and bacon flavored charcoal strips
definitelynotawolf
Put it away from the heat and cover. Then finish over flames for the last thirty seconds or so
ineverfindagoodusername
Who cooks bacon naked?
[deleted]
[deleted]
MaurogDark
MollyNapQueen
I make coffee naked.
definitelynotawolf
I do
Paninisareallevil
Me! I don't get too many splatters with a tall sided pan
Cousinkyle
Milk in eggs is a must. I’m sorry but you’re wrong
LacquerHead
Isn't an omelette without milk just fried eggs anyway?
Cousinkyle
Yes
definitelynotawolf
It’s the dairy fat that changes the composition of the eggs, making them lighter and more custard-like. Skim milk does nothing to eggs.
Coolbacca
I question the cooking ability of anyone who doesn't put milk in their eggs.
TossABabyYodaToYourWitcher
But why
wdsncs
http://www.seriouseats.com/2015/05/how-to-make-scrambled-eggs.html Check out the section on add-ins. Same principles apply.
Cousinkyle
It makes them fluffy
TossABabyYodaToYourWitcher
I've never used milk and all my eggs come out fluffy
Darjanator
#1 all food continues to cook after you take it off the grill/stove/oven. It doesn't magically drop to ambient temperature.
AntaNce
yep. it just makes a difference in meats cuz we don't eat em well done. doesn't matter if soup keeps cooking, we dont eat medium rare soup.
Darjanator
Pork and chicken should be well done.
AntaNce
prok, 145F, chicken 165F. it might still be pink
wdsncs
Pork doesn't need to be well done if it's not trichinosis contaminated, which it isn't in the US from any reasonable source.
etopsirhc
most of these sound legit, so i'm gonna have to test out that peppered strawberry thing.
ErFa94
100% would recommend
Coolbacca
'Hey you know that stale tasting strawberry candy only old people like? You can make your fresh strawberries taste JUST LIKE THAT!'
justLookingFromDetroit
Chili powder is also amazing on most fruit. My Puerto Rican coworker had some on watermelon one day, shared, and changed my life.
AntiDownVoteActivist
chili powder + Mango is amazing from what I've herd
AntiDownVoteActivist
*I missed the a key.
justLookingFromDetroit
It is a look good. I love it on honeydew.