I steal a dog!.

Jan 29, 2026 7:43 AM

Zakiamon

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25303

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627

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28

"Hey! Come back here! I have a toy! Stop!"

7 months ago | Likes 93 Dislikes 0

Would you care to throw the ball for me?

7 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That dog's speedometer was barely past 'leisurely jaunt.' Not to say that girl couldn't whoop my ass in a 100 meter sprint or 10K though. They both fast.

7 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Doggo: "Wait, I have to tell you about a great way to save on car insurance!" 🐶😹

7 months ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Related: "A Human on a Bicycle Is among the Most Efficient Forms of Travel in the Animal Kingdom" https://www.reddit.com/r/Urbanism/comments/1o92r60/a_human_on_a_bicycle_is_among_the_most_efficient/

7 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Dog: Where are you going? where are you going? where are we going?

7 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

First mistake was trying to outrun a border collie.

7 months ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

First mistake was getting involved with a border collie and a ball...

7 months ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

You're not outrunning a working dog.

7 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Always keep your dog on a leash! This is essential for everyone's safety. They could get in a car accident, for example

7 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

So, once off leash dogs can drive, got it.

7 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"HEY GET BACK HERE YOU HAVE TO THROW THIS BALL!"

7 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Sheep don't herd themselves, don't you know.

7 months ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

Me too, dog. me too.

7 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

For a two feeter she is fast

7 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Humans arn't built for speed. We're built for distance in hot climates.

7 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Are we? I feel like without a lot of extra tools and gear, we're not really meant for much.

7 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yup, no other land animal can run as far as we can. Especially in warm weather.
Animals doesn't marathons. Tools were great for taking us from scavenging to hunting.

7 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Once doggo caught up it was just strutting.

7 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

THEY ARE RUNNING UPHILL!!!! AMAZING

7 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This is funny, you can see the dog slow down when it gets to her LOL

7 months ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Two legs good, four legs better.

7 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

7 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

i caught a girlfriend for you --- doggo, probably.

7 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Hey! HEY LADY! HEY LOOK AT MY BALL! LADY, MY BALL. LOOK AT IT! ITS MINE!

7 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Not shaming, but the way she runs looks like she's long distance runner, where if she was a sprinter, she would move her legs faster

7 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

You're right about the cadence, but a distance runner would look more relaxed than that. Top end marathon runners do 5 minute miles and look like they're doing a light jog. You wouldn't be able to do it for 26 miles if you were really pushing.

Full disclosure, she's way faster than me, and might be better at distance than me, too. But if so, this wasn't her distance stride. She's sprinting.

7 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

True. Still would not make any difference to the dog.

7 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Nope, she would just be a smitched further ahead

7 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The dog gave her a headstart

7 months ago | Likes 67 Dislikes 0

And could've zoomed past if it had a mind to.

7 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

And wasn't even trying to catch up!

7 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Even the wimpyest dog can outrun a human.

7 months ago | Likes 308 Dislikes 6

Teacup poodle? Mini winner dog?

7 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

We had a toy poodle that got off-leash, and hauled ass up the road like 3x faster than I could run.

7 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I can actually outrun my three-legged pitmix. But he's technically the mightiest, not the wimpiest, soooo...you're still correct I suppose.

7 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I have a chihuahua. His top speed is about 6mph, which is also my top speed so we get along great. Most humans can outrun him, though.

7 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That looks like a border collie (potentially mix) they are one of the smartest and most agile dogs. I wouldn't underestimate them

7 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Not a hot dog. I can out run them

7 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

So can my cat

7 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I read corgis can run 30 mph. I have a corgi and noticed it’s fast as shit. I will get ready to throw the ball and it is already there to catch it. And I heave it too.

7 months ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

I meant 30km.

7 months ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Greyhounds can run 45 mph.

7 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Nah I could outrun our Yorkshire Terriers in both top speed and endurance. Although not in turning radius. And yorkies aren't even that slow, about 16kph or 25 kmh.

7 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

7 months ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 0

I have a little mix bread pup. She's less than a foot tall and stocky as hell, chest far bigger than her head etc. She is so fucking fast in short bursts. I play with her in the yard and she is lightning in short bursts. Doesn't look it, but she'll leave you in the dust.

7 months ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

We've bred some miserable little air dogs who can barely keep up with our average walking speed and are typically carried like a handbag.

7 months ago | Likes 47 Dislikes 2

Or saddle them with easily fucked up hips\joints.

7 months ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

the dog equivalents of All Tomorrows style aberrations are outliers and shouldn't be counted when discussing dog capabilities

7 months ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 1

v

7 months ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 3

Well they have four legs and we only have two?

7 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Millipedes have 1000 but I bet I could outrun them

7 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That's just a scale issue.
If they were proportionately sized, I doubt it

7 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I outran a doberman when I was 10 years old.

7 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Was it asleep?

7 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

For a little bit. I regularly run down my doberman when he escapes the house. Just gotta keep at it for 5 minutes and he literally can't run anymore, has to plop down and pant, hard completely immobile.

Dogs overheat after short bursts bc they cannot sweat, and the only way to cool off is to lie down and pant

7 months ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Gotta keep in mind they're endurance runners adapted for the cold whereas we're endurance runners adapted for hot climates. In the climate they're adapted for they could keep up for quite a long time, potentially all day depending on the breed.

7 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This is called Persistence Hunting and humans are uniquely adapted for it

7 months ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Ah but not many dogs can run as long as a human can.

7 months ago | Likes 87 Dislikes 4

Under the right circumstance, no dog can keep up with a human. In fact, outside of birds or something, i dont think anyone can. Could be wrong though.

7 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Have you never seen dogs herding sheep or cattle?

7 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It's a fairly silly notion. We started with wolves. They *can*. We domesticated wolves *because* they can.

We have simply genetically mutilated them over time as thanks

7 months ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

When its warm. Gets a little different in cold weather

7 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Your average dog can definitely run farther than your average human. Vs a trained athlete? Much different story.

7 months ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

Them being able to keep up with us on endurance front is a big reason we even domesticated wolves in the first place...

7 months ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

7 months ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

For this comment's consideration i present "The Iditarod"

7 months ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 1

Comparable ultramarathons have been completed by humans faster. Also the Iditarod is hella cheating bc the limiting factor for dogs is overheating, which obviously doesn't happen there.

7 months ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 2

The Iditarod is 1256 miles. There are comparable ultra marathons?

7 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Some that run in loops. There's a transcendence something that's over 3k miles, and the average is around 60 miles a day. That is still less than the average Iditarod run, though.

7 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Don't forget the the dogs eat like fucking kings during the Iditarod, like ten thousand calories a day or some equally absurd number. The energy they have is incomparable to your average dog, they're machines, and rather long-lived ones at that. Met an old sled dog that was eighteen, girl was blind but still spry.

7 months ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I have a family member that has a dog team and has done the Iditarod. Alaskan huskies are the best boys and girls

7 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Average distance per day on ultra endurance races like the self transcendence (which is on a flat road) are lower than average distance per day in the Iditarod.

Humans do stack up endurance tolerance a lot better than a lot of creatures. But if they're not sustaining it as a way of life and have time to recover from injuries and exhaustion, there are plenty of animals that can outpace us for a week or two.

After that our tolerances begin to tell. We can sustain it as a lifestyle.

7 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

False equivalence. You're doing average race versus maximum dog race. That's illogical

7 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Most humans can't run full tilt for long. But when we moderate that pace (and we're in good shape), holy shit does that persistence hunting history show its face.

7 months ago | Likes 80 Dislikes 0

Come the fuck on Gimli, we are gaining on them!

7 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Not to mention the calorie-hungry brain that can track an animal over long distances and days.

7 months ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

For sure. There are runners that can literally run for days without stopping. Nothing on the planet can run as long as a human. We're made for it

7 months ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 0

And then there's huskies.

7 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Friend of mine, who is not an athlete, does not regularily go to gym or anything like that... He does these extreme runs that are 165km/100 miles in 24 hours. Here in Finland one is called "Nuts" and the track is 160km, i believe fastest was about 18 hours many did it in less than 20 hours, like my friend.

7 months ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

And when a trained athlete does those, the times are amazing.

I’m sitting in my parked car feeling sorry for myself right now, and thinking about those feats of strength is making me feel happy. Thanks, friendo.

7 months ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

see thats why 1 guy can beat 100 gorillas, he just needs to move away from them until they die of a heart attack, its called kiting

7 months ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

helps if he can cast snare, but that might be cheating

7 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Notice how this dude was drawing half breaths through the ball. Flat out, most dogs achieve speeds faster than world class 100m sprinters.

7 months ago | Likes 51 Dislikes 2

~10m/s or 22mph is the fastest 100m average speed. The fastest dogs top out at 45mph and even a good chihuahua can manage 23mph over 100m.

7 months ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

Top measured human speed is 27.5mph (unless someone's beaten Bolt there recently). The average over 100m is dragged down a decent bit by the fact that they start from zero and spend a decent chunk of the race accelerating and so doesn’t make for a fair comparison to someone else's top speed.

7 months ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

Granted, but so are the dogs ;) Taking this interspecies comparison a bit more seriously than intended, Bolt isn't accelerating much past 2s.

7 months ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

That's why, if your pet escapes or does a runner, you should never try to catch it by running after it. For one, it'll view it as either a game (and thus keep running) or be panicking (and thus keep running). We're persistence predators - we figured out a long, looooong time ago that however fast something can run, we can stroll after it for long enough that it burns out its energy reserves and can't even walk slowly away from us any longer.

7 months ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

The best thing to do is draw attention to yourself and run the other way

7 months ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

best way to catch a dog is crouch and hold out a leash then say wanna go on a walk.

7 months ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Or otherwise offer them something they want more than they want to run, anyway. Walkies, a favorite toy, treats (especially something they don't often get), etc.

7 months ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0