Mar 16, 2022 10:47 AM
rs6000
124699
1560
15
cable001
Don’t bite those coconuts!
EwgB
Man, koalas are cute, but they dumb as fuck.
IbetterFedeliskSKIELSKPadarscoumbBABARND
These people are geniuses alright lol
BreakfastWithCountChocula
A great way to get circumsized for free.
YourmomusesTinder
Be careful about that Chlamydia...
mzamurman
And that's how I got Chlamydia. I swear!
jollyjack
Kid now has chlamydia.
Faguss
bobgunrunnersmith
Little shit must have missed when he dropped, tried to improvise.
GetOffMyLawnYa
Not da mama!
KillingTlme
Looks like Ted Cruz trying to kiss a little girl on the cheak.
thedarkdesert
Baby drop bear learning to hunt.
sharkbirdbitecaw
They are so stinkin CUTE
LespritDeLescalier22
Be careful. He’ll go after your Testilypticles if you let ‘em.
morethan3words
That's called Australian Jiu-Jitsu and it's super dangerous if you're on the wrong end of it. I'd be careful.
theschnubbeldidupp
Dangerous in what kind of way?
Danielmgur
It has Jiu lasers.
KnifeKnut
I heard kuala's were dumb, but I didn't know they were so dumb that imprinting didn't work
SequoiaHughes
smooth brain is best brain! no ugly wrinkles
vegivamp
Crotch goblin.
xenorac
Poor little thing
imworthyourtime
Koala is fierce, koala defends its territory against giant weird enemy.
updootyourpootsnoot
is this your unruly child, mam?
UrsaPsi
That's an awful idea kid. Like hugging an std razor blade
Felextheminimal
Bear attacks young man in a park. News at 11
LanceCorporalBadger
Survived a drop bear attack, lucky kid
HeadJamistan
https://youtu.be/6RzrUOCWjtw If you've never seen this reporter's encounter with one, you're missing out
I hadn’t and I really was
PrincessPuffyPants
Thanks for sharing, I had not seen that. Too funny!
Jesuspokemon56
Have you seen a koala's claws they're razor sharp and that kid might have chlamydia
ohfudgecicles
But not because of the koala. What kids get into these days is just wild.
Of course
CrisprCAS
Their brains don't have the thinky-thinky parts.
BurnieCinders
4x4 drivers be like that.
TankTrain
Those parents need to be beaten with a stick. Koalas are not cute and cuddly. They will fucken go you. They can kill German Shepherds.
Congrats on the chlamydia. Waiting for the mandatory post of "koalas are terrible animals"
ProppaGanda
Because they are
Sauroctonus
There it is.
lelevup
usernamesarereallystupid
He’ll be treated at the John Oliver Koala Chlamydia Ward. Top notch facility…I’ve heard.
Cranbananarama
Terribly dumb animals.
OverMyDadBody
fiddlewheelx
Terrible? Nah, just really smooth-brained.
DrWhy9
Not terrible just really really stupid, pretty sure he thought that kid was a tree
maststick
Terrible at adaptation and survival
twopups
Chlamydia, your dad’s here.
Furyustyles
"Shit I might have something too."- Theo Von
Pegaxs
They are not “terrible” animals, but they are dumb as fuck and stink like nothing else.
HissyElliott
And they sound like derpsicles
Dragon10449
And they eat their mothers "fecal pap" when they're babies (and yes, that is as gross as it sounds...)
Iwontbeback
they are very stupid and extremely disgusting, no thanks.
JackHL01
cryborg
Humans are terrible animals.
Seffypoo
kaarbaakimgr
All animals are terrible animals
BallsDeepinaDragonscloaca
I haven't heard a statement that wrong and stupid in a while.
I shouldn't even attempt to discern it, but my best guess is that they meant predators are vicious. 1/
Of course many (most) animals are not predators. I guess I can't make sense of it either.
DarkwingDuc
My dog’s pretty cool
Imakethingsweird
If you dont fuck them, (Yes, I look at you, David) they are ok
rukeman
What if it's just the tip?
Iwilltryandmakeajokeofit
I would never fuck one. We make love.
Lightsmith
What if we just touch genitals. I'm safe then right?
ElisabethNavaro
David…attenborough?
OHGODBEEEES
Metalhead47
Now I, personally, would not be so calm with koala claws that close to my nuts.
owlcatsanctuary101
I know... NUTS RIGHT!?
TrizzNathaniel
Kid is at that age where his Dream Shattering Nut Shot hasn’t happened yet, but he’s close to finding it.
HandoB4Javert
ricpaul
That's stuff for nightmares...
unamailer
Yikes
barnwolf
Those are for holding onto trees, not for eating nuts. Koala's don't eat nuts, they almost exclusively eat eucalyptus leaves.
TheOneThatGotBanned
experience of age :)
RhymingEverything
Koala claws” has a nice ring to it
BidenduexMaximus
i just wanted to share the funniest joke i know. enjoy! http://www.myrtlebeachwebdesign.com/koala-lizard.html
PostMoThoin
That and the syphilis
WrongReference
It’s chlamydia not syphilis and you can’t contract it from the koalas. It’s genetically tailored to them as a species
Mavgurian
Because stuff jumping from animals to humans has never happened. As you cannot see it: I AM FROWNING UNDER THIS MASK! /s
BurtMaklinFBI
This is not a koala claw, it’s a fake
Multiple similar images on google say otherwise.
They absolutely do have claws like this. How comes it that you think this one is fake?
rodcon
They have chlamydia
Who doesn’t.
Wow their hands are interesting. Are those like 2 opposable thumbs?
Prettty much. Made for climbing trees.
Giant2179
Just imagine the hand job
Sayagain
Usually you have to pay extra for the double thumber.
tentacularfleshscape
Kind of a similar arrangement to chameleons
Is there?
Yes
happywalker
they also have very human like fingerprints https://www.ripleys.com/weird-news/koala-fingerprints/
TridDirt
So you’re saying, bring a koala to the next heist?
IupvoteAussies
I'm getting Murder in the Rue Morgue vibes
a crate of koalas to sow confusion
“Henry touch everything” Henry is a koala by the way.
cable001
Don’t bite those coconuts!
EwgB
Man, koalas are cute, but they dumb as fuck.
IbetterFedeliskSKIELSKPadarscoumbBABARND
These people are geniuses alright lol
BreakfastWithCountChocula
A great way to get circumsized for free.
YourmomusesTinder
Be careful about that Chlamydia...
mzamurman
And that's how I got Chlamydia. I swear!
jollyjack
Kid now has chlamydia.
Faguss
bobgunrunnersmith
Little shit must have missed when he dropped, tried to improvise.
GetOffMyLawnYa
Not da mama!
KillingTlme
Looks like Ted Cruz trying to kiss a little girl on the cheak.
thedarkdesert
Baby drop bear learning to hunt.
sharkbirdbitecaw
They are so stinkin CUTE
LespritDeLescalier22
Be careful. He’ll go after your Testilypticles if you let ‘em.
morethan3words
That's called Australian Jiu-Jitsu and it's super dangerous if you're on the wrong end of it. I'd be careful.
theschnubbeldidupp
Dangerous in what kind of way?
Danielmgur
It has Jiu lasers.
KnifeKnut
I heard kuala's were dumb, but I didn't know they were so dumb that imprinting didn't work
SequoiaHughes
smooth brain is best brain! no ugly wrinkles
vegivamp
Crotch goblin.
xenorac
Poor little thing
imworthyourtime
Koala is fierce, koala defends its territory against giant weird enemy.
updootyourpootsnoot
is this your unruly child, mam?
UrsaPsi
That's an awful idea kid. Like hugging an std razor blade
Felextheminimal
Bear attacks young man in a park. News at 11
LanceCorporalBadger
Survived a drop bear attack, lucky kid
HeadJamistan
https://youtu.be/6RzrUOCWjtw If you've never seen this reporter's encounter with one, you're missing out
LanceCorporalBadger
I hadn’t and I really was
PrincessPuffyPants
Thanks for sharing, I had not seen that. Too funny!
Jesuspokemon56
Have you seen a koala's claws they're razor sharp and that kid might have chlamydia
ohfudgecicles
But not because of the koala. What kids get into these days is just wild.
Jesuspokemon56
Of course
CrisprCAS
Their brains don't have the thinky-thinky parts.
BurnieCinders
4x4 drivers be like that.
TankTrain
Those parents need to be beaten with a stick. Koalas are not cute and cuddly. They will fucken go you. They can kill German Shepherds.
theschnubbeldidupp
Congrats on the chlamydia. Waiting for the mandatory post of "koalas are terrible animals"
ProppaGanda
Because they are
Sauroctonus
There it is.
lelevup
usernamesarereallystupid
He’ll be treated at the John Oliver Koala Chlamydia Ward. Top notch facility…I’ve heard.
Cranbananarama
Terribly dumb animals.
OverMyDadBody
fiddlewheelx
Terrible? Nah, just really smooth-brained.
DrWhy9
Not terrible just really really stupid, pretty sure he thought that kid was a tree
maststick
Terrible at adaptation and survival
twopups
Chlamydia, your dad’s here.
Furyustyles
"Shit I might have something too."- Theo Von
Pegaxs
They are not “terrible” animals, but they are dumb as fuck and stink like nothing else.
HissyElliott
And they sound like derpsicles
Dragon10449
And they eat their mothers "fecal pap" when they're babies (and yes, that is as gross as it sounds...)
Iwontbeback
they are very stupid and extremely disgusting, no thanks.
JackHL01
cryborg
Humans are terrible animals.
Seffypoo
kaarbaakimgr
All animals are terrible animals
BallsDeepinaDragonscloaca
I haven't heard a statement that wrong and stupid in a while.
cryborg
I shouldn't even attempt to discern it, but my best guess is that they meant predators are vicious. 1/
cryborg
Of course many (most) animals are not predators. I guess I can't make sense of it either.
DarkwingDuc
My dog’s pretty cool
Imakethingsweird
If you dont fuck them, (Yes, I look at you, David) they are ok
rukeman
What if it's just the tip?
theschnubbeldidupp
Iwilltryandmakeajokeofit
I would never fuck one. We make love.
Lightsmith
What if we just touch genitals. I'm safe then right?
ElisabethNavaro
David…attenborough?
OHGODBEEEES
Metalhead47
Now I, personally, would not be so calm with koala claws that close to my nuts.
owlcatsanctuary101
I know... NUTS RIGHT!?
TrizzNathaniel
Kid is at that age where his Dream Shattering Nut Shot hasn’t happened yet, but he’s close to finding it.
HandoB4Javert
ricpaul
That's stuff for nightmares...
unamailer
Yikes
barnwolf
Those are for holding onto trees, not for eating nuts. Koala's don't eat nuts, they almost exclusively eat eucalyptus leaves.
TheOneThatGotBanned
experience of age :)
RhymingEverything
Koala claws” has a nice ring to it
BidenduexMaximus
i just wanted to share the funniest joke i know. enjoy! http://www.myrtlebeachwebdesign.com/koala-lizard.html
PostMoThoin
That and the syphilis
WrongReference
It’s chlamydia not syphilis and you can’t contract it from the koalas. It’s genetically tailored to them as a species
Mavgurian
Because stuff jumping from animals to humans has never happened. As you cannot see it: I AM FROWNING UNDER THIS MASK! /s
BurtMaklinFBI
This is not a koala claw, it’s a fake
Metalhead47
Multiple similar images on google say otherwise.
theschnubbeldidupp
They absolutely do have claws like this. How comes it that you think this one is fake?
rodcon
They have chlamydia
TrizzNathaniel
Who doesn’t.
cryborg
Wow their hands are interesting. Are those like 2 opposable thumbs?
Metalhead47
Prettty much. Made for climbing trees.
Giant2179
Just imagine the hand job
cryborg
Sayagain
Usually you have to pay extra for the double thumber.
tentacularfleshscape
Kind of a similar arrangement to chameleons
cryborg
Is there?
tentacularfleshscape
Yes
happywalker
they also have very human like fingerprints https://www.ripleys.com/weird-news/koala-fingerprints/
TridDirt
So you’re saying, bring a koala to the next heist?
IupvoteAussies
I'm getting Murder in the Rue Morgue vibes
happywalker
a crate of koalas to sow confusion
TridDirt
“Henry touch everything” Henry is a koala by the way.