Luvlyquants
97114
1627
52
Jan 6, 2024 3:39 PM
Luvlyquants
97114
1627
52
stayingalive4life
They want to ride you like a bicycle tonight.
Salmivalli
Peg me pardon?
CleverIsSexy
ZeRootOfAllEvil
alcamar
deetatron
lazysombrero
Bikechiks and chill
Skrumblecakes
Eww, gross! Mechanical rim-brake Madone? Ugh. Well, at least it's not the frame with undermount brakes next to the crankset.
TheDrunkenWrench
I just run a coaster brake on a 3-speed internally geared. Not having a front brake has only nearly killed me a couple dozen times. I should probably start wearing a helmet
Violaquin
Me, a lesbian cyclist.
v
gifworthy
Sanzanna
Great, MORE sweating.
Waxilliam
nah, even at max burn a 30 second workout will hardly raise your heart rate
AlexVanPutten
Speak for yourself, I am in BAD shape
Waxilliam
PrincePiggo
cousteau
That's not the only thing that's coming ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Eomund521
None yet.
DragonGanger
Ladies and Gentlemen. This is why we don't skip leg day or cardio. Do your duty or die trying.
wootusmagootus
CrappleJack
TheEvenPrez
Guys help me out. How would you combine bicycle and Sappho for a pun?
zerogiven
Was gonna say "lesbian wrecks are weird", but looks like @plainoldfool beat me to that one.
commentsrnice2
They arent just bicyclists, theyre Bi-cyclists
aThingWithTheStufAndTheJunk
Dunno about Sappho but you could go with cyclesbians.
Bigemedic
I'd buy them a drink.
SimplyWalkedIntoMordorAndBroughtPizza
something something enjoy the ride and dont yank your chain
thricebakedxyz
They seem nice.
VanillaJester
Yes please.
justplainvanilla
WeAreNotSmilesTImes
knudude
PacerStacktrain
deetatron
Classic Kip
Beanholio
The cycle or the cyclist?
Cptqrk73
What an unrealistic scenario, you would never get me cycling....
MrWobblyHead
I think those two could convince me to take it up again
SnoopyDancing
one word - e-bike
TheDrunkenWrench
Cycling has to be one of my favourite ways to get active. It's not often you can efficiently cover large distances while also getting exercise.
EddyMerckx
Amen. I very much enjoyed cycling in my youth. Still do.
GiantMoron
I could help them with their saddle sores
JusticePhrall
As in, I'm not a gynecologist, but i'd be happy to take a look?
sQuimby
Lol no you don't want to do that. Basically boils on your taint. Ain't sexy to no one
GiantMoron
anotherIngloriousHandle
then you wonder, “do i have the stamina?”
JaTheRed
No but I do have a little cocaine so it should be fine.
FrogBotherer
*reaches for inhaler*
kodiak931155
TankTrain
Pfft! It's called efficiency. It's not your fault if they can't keep up.
Saxit
"We Dwarves are natural sprinters. Very dangerous over short distances!"
IFoldlyGo
I'd rather have seen dwarves as having plenty of endurance, but not as high a top speed. They take pursuit predation to a whole new level. Eat on the run, semi-doze on the run, bathroom on the run, etc, until they catch you and crack your skull. So Gimli would have the pack with all their gear, and Legolas would be the connection between Aragorn and Gimli.
IFoldlyGo
Did this for a 4e D&D game. Running is a common skill so it has a target number of 5. Doing it all day is pretty epic, so +20 to TN for a total of 25. My character had enough Con bonus, dwarven boost to Con, level bonus, and Take 10 to get a 26.
HotSauceOnMyButthole
You can learn stamina. I used to be a 10 minutes guy. Now I can go an hour. Things can be learned
FAILEDattempttostartaslowclap
Sia? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzCpyiabtME
ToasterDent
If not, you just eat a Powerbar and rest a bit to recover, then back on the saddle
kodiak931155
Theyre bikers. I dont need the stamina they have the stamina. What I need is to hold on and if what ive learned about from bikers is true, have enough lubricant to avoid chafing.
TheFishFace
Do not use bike lube on your private parts
kodiak931155
Stoneagedudeman
That's when I'll say 'I'll disappoint you both but I'm game to try'
DontcallmeLen
hitdog42
Total fabrication. We made it up.
AvsFreak
Blakeadelic
Ever gone mountain biking? Ever have a job as a waiter? Have you noticed how a lot of successful restaurants are theme based these days?
commentsrnice2
I'm not sure which version is funnier, the slow drunk or the hyper toddler
taksoto
Always wear a condom!
SecondSince
But, they're still wearing underwear/swimwear...
Calibisto
I have to show my wife this. She never beleived me these things just happen.
itypewerdsonline
oh boy, if I had a nickel for everytime that happened, I'd have negative nickels
sleepinggreenidea
"It's like when your kid's kindergarten teacher assures you that they always wear a condom at work. Technically it's better than the alternative, but you'd still rather not hear them say it." Source: I've forgotten and Google doesn't help. I'm probably on a few lists for having tried to look it up, though.
mutabah
xkcd on electronic voting machines running anti-virus.
https://xkcd.com/463/
sleepinggreenidea
TY!
zerogiven
...and gods help me, my first thought is "Shit! Poison oak!"
CouldntCakeLess
What a horrible accident.
nekuth
standard prono storyline (yes I spelt it wrong)
MyGreatestFearBoner
sleepinggreenidea
...a messy pile of tangled limbs...
Allusernamesaretakensoichoosethis
"Help us step-cyclist. We fell and got stuck!"
FightinTXAg
Fengor
Thankfully her very good friend was there to comfort her.
CouldntCakeLess
Support is needed.
decarnatedame
I think they're roommates.
1morebanforafreeshake
Loom at them. They're in shock!
CouldntCakeLess
These poor people. The horror.
Eomund521
I'm using my loom as fast as I can. They aren't impressed
1morebanforafreeshake
DaveSamsonite
They are just good friends.
DaveSamsonite
Why did the poster think they were a couple?
METROlD
This joke comes up so often here Im starting to think Im the only one who isnt frequently proposed threesomes by rando couples.
ProppaGanda
Happened to me once.
dasklaus
It's the medium rare experience of the month that the internet decided to elevate to prominence. It relates to enough people to create recognition, and the rest of us are left scratching our head or going "huh, apparently, that is a thing". It's a thing, but it's not common and no, it's not just you.
Picdump2508
Only happened once to me. I was at the right lesbian bar at the right time.
Lun4ticH1gh
Are you also a lesbian? Or are you a fella who hit the jackpot?
Picdump2508
I'm a cis dude.
BuddhasBodyguard
Jackpot.
Picdump2508
Yeah. One in a million. lol
OptimisticMisanthrope
If you're anything like me, you've probably already been propositioned by rando couples, but you won't realize it until years later, and then you'll spend the next couple of decades reliving the scene in your head and coming up with hundreds of ways things would've turned out differently I'd you'd pulled your goddam head out of your ass.
uplock
Or your dumbass gets lucky and the first time it happens the couple is so smooth you don't catch onto what's going on until you are back 1/2
uplock
at their place and the wife sets a drink in your hand and herself in your lap.... 2/2
OptimisticMisanthrope
thricebakedxyz
Finally, some good advice from internet; must pull goddam head out of ass. Got it mate.
METROlD
Ugh. So many women. Literally, so many queues. Yeah, I missed them all. Actually.... there was this one couple.... wait.
OptimisticMisanthrope
Yep, there it is.
TheDirtySanchezBros
Bingo.