sleeperkid
25039
714
25
Jul 26, 2026 7:22 PM
sleeperkid
25039
714
25
lonelyrangerofthedreams
Should be illegal for detained people to get social media access.
FRGhelas
Wait, the Ultimate Alpha Mail is… tweeting from prison about his tummy aches?
Oh this is gold.
ImmaCatImmaSexyCat
Yeah, i don't believe this fucker for a second. He's got money and lawyers and can somehow tweet. His lawyer can give him regular access to a phone, tablet or computer to tweet from but can't get him a cell with a working faucet? At this point Tate is just advertising that he has shitty lawyers.
sonnuvah
SHU is nice and all, but will we ever get him into the STFU?
spiderjohn36
If Andrew Tate were in general population, his first day wouldn't be pleasant.
an0therthr0waway
yes it would... for the rest of the world!
MerriMod
Sounds like something he should take up with the Republican shits he's been buddy-buddy with. They're the ones keeping Florida as an outlier state overusing solitary confinement and halting reform efforts over the years, where other states have pushed against the practice.
Also, the brothers are being held at the FDC Miami facility, not some brutal Guantanamo Bay-style black site. This sort of performative hand-wringing from their lawyer is ridiculous.
jwillywill
NM156
That doesn't sound very Alpha male!
Bundalicious
Put him in gen pop then.
GrimleyGraves
mratio
Hoping you have all the days you deserve.
reformedxile
Revicus
Frankly the conditions in most prisons are deplorable for no reason other than cruelty, and that, at an absolute minimum, needs to change. But not for this dickhead's sake in particular, just because it's the right thing to do in general.
Sebastopol140
Cry more, asshole!
johnvilnis
Tate sitting in prison thinking he should get brand water and special treatment is showing why he is sitting in prison.
NoMuffinsToSpare
This is so much better than me just forgetting he's in prison
Insmnyk
Maybe...just a crazy theory of mine... don't actively post and dare people to arrest you while you have active warrants out for your arrest.
Maybe if you just shut the hell up in the first place... maybe?
mirrorz
Yet he has a cellphone or a computer to use while in the hole?
TheVampireDante
I'd check if they get posted at the same times. If so it'd likely his lawyers phone since that'd be the only person allowed to visit him - or he's using his allotted phone call slot to send messages to someone that can post them for him.
subparsubpoena
Maybe he's using a Samsung Smart Fridge to smuggle his tweets out
Hatlled
Wait till it updates to ONE UI. He won't be able to open the frickin' door. *reads that last part again, snickers*
KoalaOnTheJuice
Only time I'll say this, but man the fuck up.
Neurisko
It's amazing how these "tough alpha males" are almost exclusively whiny little weak-ass bitches.
Terran81
Was going to comment this but wanted to see if someone else did first. +1
Hatlled
I still wanna take one of these alpha males on an excursion out to the middle of the NM desert. I guarantee, after the 3rd night, they'll be found in a snazzy hotel, UNDER the bed. After having wet themselves in abject terror.
What did I do to them? Not a damned thing. I know where in New Mexico to take 'men' like that. Places that would scare them sideways. :D
TheVampireDante
Anywhere without a plush bed and air conditioning scares them. They shit themselves when a loud voice is aimed at them, let alone any sort of potential physical threat they can't bribe away or escape from with a phone call.
Terran81
They stand down real quick when dealing with other actual men in person. Only confident in their safe space.
nubblebun
Gee, that's too ba---hey, what are you all doing for dinner tonight? It's cooled right off, so I think I'll have something hot.
Hatlled
I have some chicken I baked that needs eating, and salad.
I might even have a large, ceramic mug of ice, cold, clean water, too!
kInADress
Maybe shouldn't have trafficked and abused all these girls then? Kinda like there are laws telling you not to?
or0b0ur0s
Not mentioned: SHU is "The Hole", or Solitary Confinement. It's generally considered a human rights violation in civilized countries, but in this case, it's not a punishment.
He's there because any prison they would put him in is full of experienced murderers who would absolutely jump at the chance to dice him into gory confetti. They have to lock him in a closet to keep him alive.
philmoregraves
He isnt even in SHU. Highly unlikely to be able to tweet from there
foolkiller333
If he's facing rape charges, he's likely in the SHU.
Florafiel
Fucked around and found out.
maqp3
Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy
W0lfsbl00d
Not yet. He will only find out if he's extradited.
DrewThe3DPrinterGuy
LifeIsADanceOfMinds
Yet they gave him access to the Internet.
This raises my suspicions.
HandoB4Javert
The water I am
chansuke
SHU is solitary confinement. He's having his lawyer direct his PR team to post these tweets.
decarnatedame
He has a hotspot in his prison pocket.
sleeperkid
"Goddamn right he does."
-his cellmate.
gtotherizzle
Same
evildadunit
smuggled a blackberry up his spherical asshole
Winterous
What the fuck is this insult even supposed to imply?
evildadunit
asshole, no matter which way you look at it =/
Winterous
Ok I kinda get it.
swedeonamoose
I guess in todays world being whitout it would count as cruel and unusual punishment /s
RooGryphon
in my world they wont have access to current events that are at least 90 days past. they would not be allowed to have anything more recent then that and absoulty no internet access without server liitations on what is accessed and they have absoutly no privacy with the device that is connected to the internet if they do
LifeIsADanceOfMinds
How cruel. How unusual. How sad.
Cearnaigh
Anyway.
TheWombatStrikesAgain
I have a theory. And be warned, it is a highly complex one, built on meticulous analysis of countless subtle nuances, historic context, and in-depth knowledge that might be hard to grasp: He's a liar.
HamSlamwich
He's not lying, he's just having someone else tweet this stuff for him, via his lawyer, who he is legally required to be allowed contact with.
The sad part is, he's really not lying. He's accurately describing every jail I've ever been in. And while you may think "he's a scumbag and deserves it", MOST people who end up in jail, aren't really scumbags, and don't deserve to be treated like that.
Hatlled
Or, that's not him at all.
MerriMod
Two things can be true. The brothers' lawyer has absolutely been screeching about how they're innocent lambs, pure as the driven snow, being attacked by evil despots for daring to have opinions. It's absolutely farcical. Whatever conditions the Tate brothers might be in, not a single word out of them or their lawyer/social media can be trusted as remotely accurate or honest.
https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/celebrity/articles/andrew-tristan-tate-lawyer-claims-224126545.html
Pulger
He should just take it on the chin. Small target, I know...
Fuckimgurcunts
Hah! This man has a tiny chin.
I hate that guy. :D
Vungor
Oh. He will, those inmates have good aim. Heeheh
B4r4B4d4B45tu
What chin?
TheVampireDante
Obviously still bigger than his junk though judging by the amount of "alpha" projection he does...
7qd26tttv7
Not to mention how many times he's been photographed in combat trunks WEARING A JOCK and he's smaller than a mosquito.
PeakExponent
Water should be a human right. But I am confused. He said his faucet is broken. He says he has no clean water to drink. Then he says that he can drink from the shower, which has the potential to be potable. I don't know if he has access to any testing equipment to see if it's clean or not. He also says he can drink from a FILTHY faucet. Dirty is not broken. "Persistent stomach problems" are not sufficient to determine any particular cause. It could be from stress at getting arrested.
theobstruction
Or he's just a liar.
DangerBaer
It could also be caused by his allergy to consequences.
idiotsonfire
99% of regular prisons do not have showers in the fucking cells. He isn't in jail.
vowofloudness
He's talking about two separate faucets. There is a drinking water faucet, which he claims is broken. There is also a shower which has its own faucet system. The shower faucet is working, but he says it is brown and filthy.
PeakExponent
Is he not fluent in English? Showers are not faucets.
ImmaCatImmaSexyCat
He is English, so I assume he's fluent.
reichstein
Plenty of English people don't do the words too great when they communicate in the English.
StNickCage
I no rite? I make a sentinse wunce.
RecurringNightmare
also, normally all water outlets in a house come from the same source, so the water is either clean or dirty in all of them, unless maybe the water heater is the source of contamination, then only the hot water is bad...but hot water should always be more scrutinized than cold water because germs grow faster in warm environments...also, what shower only has warm water and no cold? ridiculous claims...
PanNonOpticon
There are showers where you can't adjust the temperature. Which means if this is one, the water will always have some warm water in it.
Feralkyn
That's not how water works, fyi. If a showerhead isn't cleaned it can very easily wind up clogged with ex. minerals and then grow nasty shit in there. That being said, if it's drinkable it's drinkable. He should have clean faucet water, sure, but I have all the doubts that he's telling the truth.
Feralkyn
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2752528/
VladimirsKacs
You understand this is a prison, right? 'Special Housing Unit' is not some American version of a homeless shelter, it's part of a prison, where they don't let him interact with other inmates (or, in the case of Tate, probably don't let other prisoners beat him up.)
RecurringNightmare
and a prison is also just a big house/building...so where do all the water outlets in that prison get their water from? the same source or different ones?
VladimirsKacs
Same, of course, where else could it possibly come from? I'm saying he doesn't get to control when water comes on or off, let alone the temperature.
VitaminJay
HOW THE FUCK YOU TWEETIN'‽ ALREADY USING THAT PRISON POCKET, ANDY‽
JohnSmithterms
Lawyers relay the info ...
ParrotHat
Lawyers fit in the prison pocket?
JohnSmithterms
He talks to lawyer. Lawyer talks to outside confidant who has his login info .
ParrotHat
Has to get to lawyer to speak to lawyer. Only way to get anything into solitary is prison pocket. Therefore lawyer is in prison pocket.
JohnSmithterms
Does not make sense to my autistic ass. In florida, even in solitary confinement you still get access to a lawyer. I get the joke now that you explained it and am glad to hear you are a comedian and not the moron i originally expected. But its not great. You can do better xxx ... also haha, fuck the tate brothers
Meyek
He has no contact with the outside world! Have some sympathy! /s
hayeszc84
HOW THE FUCK YOU GET AN INTEROBANG IN YOUR COMMENT?! USING A LAP/DESKTOP, JAY?!
VitaminJay
I WAS ON MOBILE AND JUST HELD DOWN THE QUESTION MARK BUTTON UNTIL THE INTERROBANG POPPED UP. I HOPE THAT HELPS, HAVE A BLESSED WEEK! :D
LinkHouseMan
WHY ARE WE SHOUTING‽
VitaminJay
EXCITEMENT, FOR THE MOST PART. HOW'S MONDAY TREATIN' YA‽
LinkHouseMan
CAN'T COMPLAIN! YOU KNOW, THIS COMMUNITY REALLY DOES BRIGHTEN MY DAY SOMETIMES!
hayeszc84
‽WTF‽ IT WORKED! THANKS INTERNET FRIEND!
VitaminJay
LOVE THAT FOR YOU!