suiciMarbleWrecker
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I am female. I have tried very hard to make meager needs know. He works a lot but he also loves screens. I am not exaggerating when I say he is distracted by a screen from the moment he wakes to the moment he sleeps. I understand where he comes from so I requested more time for the family that doesn't Involve a distraction. The day I presented the idea he hung out and we all had fun! And that was it. Within one day he had given up on us.....It was my last attempt to make this work and to be honest. I'm done. Hard to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't wanna actually spend quality time with you.
I.e. quality time- time that is deemed valuable and fulfilling by both parties...not let's watch a movie and be distracted together...
Die in usersub and the twelve of you who see this go ahead and let me know how much of an ass hole I am. -_-
Armistice023
Tech addiction. I'm trying to break myself of it and spend more time with the wife. Closing my FB account was a big changer
iWishThereWasAWayToDeleteThis
U right fam
ILiekToCookAndBake
Fo' real fo' real.
jnoahj
You two should do counseling. Nothing here sounds like it's beyond repair. You're trying & he tried however briefly. Hope the best for y'all
suiciMarbleWrecker
My heart is man. I have been trying for so long and it's all gone. There are lots of reasons we arnt Compatible.
Root0syntax7
True.
weirdinchicago
You're not an asshole. I should thank you for reminding me of my own obligations. Try giving him a hard ultimatum to bring him around.
suiciMarbleWrecker
Yes!! Make a sticky not or use a cooking timer do something! It doesn't take very much.
AlilMotivation
Much more do I wonder about the 50 downvotes on this one..? jeez, think about who you are, who you wanna be, and the impact on others
RoncoFoodDehydrator
Go get a fuck buddy
suiciMarbleWrecker
Ya but...no thanks....
noonehasthisoneyet
Just don’t cheat. Discuss things with him. Send him a text about it if you really can’t talk to him about it. Communication is key
suiciMarbleWrecker
Never. I'm tryna get out of a relationship, not start a new one.
electrette
I hear you. When someone is always stuck in the screen it's like they're not there. In a sense you are alone. I'm too familiar with this.
suiciMarbleWrecker
If I must be lonely, I think I'd rather be alone.
electrette
I know what you mean. It would be less painful and open you up for better connections.
TooMuchWorkNotNuffFun
Wow that is horrible. Was he not this bad before marrying? You’re not bad, the relationship is just starting when you get married, and he is
TooMuchWorkNotNuffFun
acting like it’s done and he can veg on screens 24/7 now. Screw that.
srdalyssa
I just ended a relationship over this. People need things and it's not okay to live without a few key ones...
gotchasucka
Nope, you're right. Was guilty of that, too. Force the issue (finding the compromise/common ground) and if he won't change, leave.
LifeEaterVirus
Plot twist is he's probably going to be confused and upset when you stop saying attention to him. Be ready for it @OP
suiciMarbleWrecker
He is so confused and frustrated. If he ask I'll tell him....it's in his court now.
gkmarduk
You're not an asshole. It's perfectly reasonable to crave the attention of someone you love and loves you, hence the contract of marriage.
gkmarduk
1/2 He's the asshole for not giving you what you needed. Granted "hang in there"/"work it out" are viable statements, but sometimes
gkmarduk
2/2 Enough is enough
TheGate
It honestly sounds like he might have an addiction.
suiciMarbleWrecker
He really does man. I just don't even know what to do anymore.....
TttlyCheeseGod
You tried to help him before you had to walk away. That proves you respect him and yourself. Sending you love and support
suiciMarbleWrecker
Can't help someone who won't recognize/ acknowledge a problem.
effinwizard
Tell him it's gonna die unless you fix it together. Or else eat him. Idk one should work
suiciMarbleWrecker
I have been meaning to try bipod meat...
igneus
Good for you! Pleasure must be given and received, not only one or the other
MCDAVER
My wife and I have a "bowl" rule where if we feel like one is ignoring the other by excessive phone use, you calls "bowl" and both put 1/2
MCDAVER
phones in the bowl for the remainder of the night. Works pretty well. 2/2
suiciMarbleWrecker
Can you throw a gaming PC in a bowl?
MCDAVER
If it's big enough, yes HA!
satt3r
Maybe a shitty thing to say, but it seems you're under the impression that changing behavior is do-able in a single day. 1/?
satt3r
Just from personal observation of my wife and I, it takes reminders for things like this to change, especially in an extremely... 2/?
satt3r
oriented family. It is something I currently struggle with, with my wife playing mobile games from the moment she wakes up to when... 3/?
satt3r
technology oriented*
suiciMarbleWrecker
Not shitty, your right. I told him it was Important that we had one hour of screen free time a day. One day...that's all I got.(1)
suiciMarbleWrecker
Sometimes he forgets what I told him two minuets after I told him. He doesn't live in our world anymore. How do I even work with that?(2)
satt3r
I pick her up at work. Behavior is not something easily changed when it is ingrained into daily ritual. Look at smokers for example. 4/5
satt3r
:)
starrryy
Hide the chargers
useless3y3s
Did you use the words "you're addicted to electronics, and it's tearing me apart!" Or did you just suggest that he ditch it for a day?
suiciMarbleWrecker
Literally said "It's important to me we have one hour a day that is screen free" he got mad. Took a shower. Did it for one day then that it.
useless3y3s
One of the things my wife and I do is "when you do ..., it makes me feel like ..." It helps to explain what you're feeling, if he can't 1/2
useless3y3s
Explain why he's glued to his phone (other than depression and needing a dopamine fix) then it's probably time to cut the cord...
suiciMarbleWrecker
Agreed. I have told him many times he hurts me. He is an addict who refuses to see it.
useless3y3s
That sucks :(
hirolash
I can relate to what you are going throug., It will get better once things are finalized and you can move on.
TheDomesticatedGamer
Things don’t change overnight. There are a lot of things that could be going on. He may be depressed, he may be overwhelmed. Don’t give up.
Dyslexicbirch
Sounds alot like my dad ,my mum tried for years with no luck
dwheatley20021337
Good for you find someone who wants to be with you all the best from uk
Sabr712
Technology is a dangerous thing... I’m sorry for your relationship loss.
DownvoteIsTheNewUpvote
titties in the face works too
MadDrDrillBit
works for me, nothing on the boob tube beats boobs.
suiciMarbleWrecker
Hard to wanna do someone who doesn't wanna converse with you....kinda start to feel like a fuck toy.
BrokeToes
Honestly, I was same way; ended up reading 5 languages of love. That and some hard work, saved my relationships.
suiciMarbleWrecker
Four years ago I sat down and wanted him to take a test to tell me his love language. He got mad, I cried, he never took the test.
suiciMarbleWrecker
He knows quality time and acts of service are my two big ones but he just ignores it man.
tofuroshi
Try counseling, it can really help to have a neutral party to discuss these types things. He probably doesn't realize what it means to you.
Dyslexicbirch
Would he go he might just stare at his phone the whole time
Neveroddorevenman
As someone who has been in marriage counseling phones aren't really used during the process. It's pretty much an unspoken agreement
Dyslexicbirch
He probably wouldn't ho than ;/
suiciMarbleWrecker
Ding ding! Winner!!
ifandonlyif
This is really the right answer, its hard to assess a relationship from one side only.
suiciMarbleWrecker
We have lots of reasons we arnt Compatible. Was willing to work if this tiny one was met. Last try, I'm done.
Randomtask776
Out of curiosity. Why even get married then? Honest question
ifandonlyif
Its your life. As strangers we can only recommend the obvious, but I do think it is typically a mistake not to at least try counselling.
suiciMarbleWrecker
I agree, it's getting him to go... we will have a discussion and I'll definitely bring it up and see what he does :)