Nov 29, 2022 7:17 PM
IdontEatBooty
91570
1325
34
azazyel
I would have said "Stop" or "Slippery when Wet" or "Under Construction"
lucidbarrier
I was going to say Suicidal, I thought he meant warning sign
BryanLaserEpee
I've had people get it wrong 8 times in a row and say "I'll get it soon" I mean I hope so
spitslap
3dartwork
2 people shouted they were into Astrology then suddenly the room gets into guessing
tanebot
Typical Scorpio.
DeadWhiteMale
I knew it!
JackHL01
sadly, no wardrobe malfunctioned that day
thescyllaandcharybdis
Who dat?
EvaLuna999
Virgo
SnailsAgainstTungstenSpheres
Let me know if you find out. I saw him live last year during the San Francisco comedy competition as a finalist. He was funny as hell.
TygerYasha
I found him thanks to your info. Ryan Goodcase. :) He won 1st place last year.
Nice thanks! Kinda thought he might win.
<3
Spettel
Who is this comedian? He's funny
Ryan Goodcase. :)
PetiteMortAuFromage
My sign is Tyrannosaurus.
TheNamiKage
My guess, Ophiuchus. When they say you won't get it with 12 guesses they know astronomy.
Tractorfist
A pisces of shit?
Smacketywack
“I’m not a Virgo either. So shut up Kelsey.”
FrenchTheLlama2
Now you may find it inconceivable, or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars should have..
Special significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my ensurance that these forecasts and...
Predictions are all based on solid scientific documented evidence and you would have to be some kind of moron not to realise that every...
Single one of them is absolutely true. Where was I?
4vie
Libra!
whatsisname
A big promotion is just around the corner, for someone much more talented than you.
NebulousToucan
ParaBellumOutfitters
yep, absolutely stolen from this image.
Maclarion
At least he adapted it, I've seen comedians recite memes word for word before. And if enough people haven't seen it before he's done his job
myr14d
I was waiting for a 'I lied again' at the end.
zstorm6
"I'm an aquarius, you dumbass"
OriginalSyn
I think the "How do they not get it?" line was meant to mean that he lied again.
BreathBeStank
I don't think so. The point to that is because everyone is just guessing and there is no significance to amy of it. So saying "I knew it" 1/
Is dumb when the entire point he was making is it is all guess work 2/2
spookyactionatadistance
He did. Classic Pisces
Hazearil
"In fact, I was never born, and therefore have no sign."
trasneoir
... and he tears off his mask. He was John Oliver all along!
jokexplainer
j4gr
Not original at all, and the Reddit joke was better written…but it was cool seeing someone do it live.
People have been doing this since before Reddit. Probably since the time it gained popularity. In the middle ages.
Haha. Yes.
Typical Leo behaviour.... Always changing the narrative to keep the upper hand.
woozle
Mercury is in gatorade. that's why they got it wrong
Housemaster
It's what planets crave
FuzzyMedic
It's got lanthanides
c64masterrace
buzkilljoy
i thought it's Uranus in the Garden Spade
MiniMegaOfParagonCity
Naw, it's the other way around.
RealWillBeFullAndDealWillBePlentyAlso
renegade9
I knew this because I'm a caprisun
LetheTheArtificer
I made a mix I called gatormilk the other night while making questionable late night decisions. Gatorade and milk isn't good, just saying...
ItHappenedInThe20thCentury
BREAKING NEWS - poisonous metal found in sports drink
DidItForScience
That would be really bad for your health. I guess astrology does work!
wargames
seems kind of expensive to go to the planet to put in gatorade.
LostRealist11
I think that's the sequel to Idiocracy
No, it's about the metal. I wouldn't drink that gatorade.
the metal isn't https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/mercury-is-in-gatorade
iamdanman
@OP eating ass is not all that bad. If you want a girl to stick around…
zvae
i have unfortunate news. if a girl told you she left because you didn't eat ass, she lied about why she left.
meskarune
A lack of orgasms will absolutely make a woman leave tho
It’s a good thing I’m good at giving them
She didn’t leave, and I ate her ass cause I wanted too
Eating ass is not a requirement for commitment my good man.
It helps though. Made my girl fall in love
in fact, if someone wanted to eat my ass, i'd probably bounce lol.
Sounds like you’ve never had your ass eaten
you're committed to the ass thing and I like that about you. I still wouldn't eat it though. It smells.
PalaverQuader
soap. just eat more soap.
You gotta make sure it’s clean of course.
AeonQuasars
Well of course every people born within the same time have equal personality traits based on stars million lightyears away. That's science.
Cthulhuonabike
Stars that have drifted well out of the range that would associate those zodiac signs to the particular dates
PwnageHobo
Our galaxy is about 100k lightyears in diameter. Every star visible to the naked eye is between 4 and 4k lightyears (excluding our Sun)
vowofloudness
Technically there are naked-eye visible stars stars several Mly distant: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_galaxies#Naked-eye_galaxies
If I named a star in a distant galaxy, can you honestly tell me you can see it?
No, but I can honestly tell you the light I'm seeing with my naked eye comes from stars millions of lightyears away.
Photoreceptors registering light is only part of the process of seeing. From a few km away, you see a building, not the bricks it's made of.
BernieKl
I always look forward to renewing my license at the DMV, because every one in line is someone just like me and we could all be BFFs!! /s
CarnackiArdent
Let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific documented evidence 1/2
So you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true - where was I? 2/2
JamJarre
It is very silly, but I concede that the time of year you're born might have an impact on the development of your personality. Very broadly
tentacularfleshscape
In which case the closer thing is the Chinese year of the whatever
Well no that's still year by year, not time of year
Sure, and october in France and october in Brazil are gonna have the exact same kind of influence. Broadly.
SindarElla
Yeah, in school I was good friends with a bunch of other summer babies, since we all had birthdays around the same time.
And I had a boss who hated Christmas because that's her birthday too and she always felt it overshadowed her birthday
Qualtagh
Having a bit more or less maturity than your peers in the first years of (pre)school could certainly have lasting effects.
LowestForm
September and October kids give off eldest child vibes maybe. Haven't done any research but
BethMme4
Was that be from getting more sun and fresh produce in the third trimester?
What dates do schools use now for kindergarten cut off? Used to be the October and November kids would be the youngest in the class.
ShiftingPattern
There's a tiny chance that seasonality MINORLY influences personality. Changes in diet and vitamin D from sun when a woman is pregnant, etc.
LongCommentChainAppreciator
Except healthy pregnancies last about 9 months, severely limiting the seasonal factor to 3/4 seasons
But modern life would definitely have obliterated any such influences in most of the world by now and I'm only thinking MINOR to begin with.
Even if that were true, though, astrology is still dumb. IF true there would be some kind of gradient, but there's no time-based pattern.
The personality traits associated with one sign and the signs before and after it jump wildly with no discernible pattern.
If anything, it's circumstantial self-determination: People susceptible to believing in it reinforce the traits they think they should have.
azazyel
I would have said "Stop" or "Slippery when Wet" or "Under Construction"
lucidbarrier
I was going to say Suicidal, I thought he meant warning sign
BryanLaserEpee
I've had people get it wrong 8 times in a row and say "I'll get it soon" I mean I hope so
spitslap
3dartwork
2 people shouted they were into Astrology then suddenly the room gets into guessing
tanebot
Typical Scorpio.
DeadWhiteMale
I knew it!
IdontEatBooty
JackHL01
sadly, no wardrobe malfunctioned that day
thescyllaandcharybdis
Who dat?
EvaLuna999
Virgo
SnailsAgainstTungstenSpheres
Let me know if you find out. I saw him live last year during the San Francisco comedy competition as a finalist. He was funny as hell.
TygerYasha
I found him thanks to your info. Ryan Goodcase. :) He won 1st place last year.
SnailsAgainstTungstenSpheres
Nice thanks! Kinda thought he might win.
thescyllaandcharybdis
<3
Spettel
Who is this comedian? He's funny
TygerYasha
Ryan Goodcase. :)
PetiteMortAuFromage
My sign is Tyrannosaurus.
TheNamiKage
My guess, Ophiuchus. When they say you won't get it with 12 guesses they know astronomy.
Tractorfist
A pisces of shit?
Smacketywack
“I’m not a Virgo either. So shut up Kelsey.”
FrenchTheLlama2
Now you may find it inconceivable, or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars should have..
FrenchTheLlama2
Special significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my ensurance that these forecasts and...
FrenchTheLlama2
Predictions are all based on solid scientific documented evidence and you would have to be some kind of moron not to realise that every...
FrenchTheLlama2
Single one of them is absolutely true. Where was I?
4vie
Libra!
whatsisname
A big promotion is just around the corner, for someone much more talented than you.
NebulousToucan
ParaBellumOutfitters
yep, absolutely stolen from this image.
Maclarion
At least he adapted it, I've seen comedians recite memes word for word before. And if enough people haven't seen it before he's done his job
myr14d
I was waiting for a 'I lied again' at the end.
zstorm6
"I'm an aquarius, you dumbass"
OriginalSyn
I think the "How do they not get it?" line was meant to mean that he lied again.
BreathBeStank
I don't think so. The point to that is because everyone is just guessing and there is no significance to amy of it. So saying "I knew it" 1/
BreathBeStank
Is dumb when the entire point he was making is it is all guess work 2/2
spookyactionatadistance
He did. Classic Pisces
Hazearil
"In fact, I was never born, and therefore have no sign."
trasneoir
... and he tears off his mask. He was John Oliver all along!
jokexplainer
j4gr
Not original at all, and the Reddit joke was better written…but it was cool seeing someone do it live.
IdontEatBooty
People have been doing this since before Reddit. Probably since the time it gained popularity. In the middle ages.
j4gr
Haha. Yes.
4vie
Typical Leo behaviour.... Always changing the narrative to keep the upper hand.
woozle
Mercury is in gatorade. that's why they got it wrong
Housemaster
It's what planets crave
FuzzyMedic
It's got lanthanides
c64masterrace
buzkilljoy
i thought it's Uranus in the Garden Spade
MiniMegaOfParagonCity
Naw, it's the other way around.
RealWillBeFullAndDealWillBePlentyAlso
renegade9
I knew this because I'm a caprisun
LetheTheArtificer
I made a mix I called gatormilk the other night while making questionable late night decisions. Gatorade and milk isn't good, just saying...
ItHappenedInThe20thCentury
BREAKING NEWS - poisonous metal found in sports drink
DidItForScience
That would be really bad for your health. I guess astrology does work!
wargames
seems kind of expensive to go to the planet to put in gatorade.
LostRealist11
I think that's the sequel to Idiocracy
Hazearil
No, it's about the metal. I wouldn't drink that gatorade.
wargames
the metal isn't https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/mercury-is-in-gatorade
iamdanman
@OP eating ass is not all that bad. If you want a girl to stick around…
zvae
i have unfortunate news. if a girl told you she left because you didn't eat ass, she lied about why she left.
meskarune
A lack of orgasms will absolutely make a woman leave tho
iamdanman
It’s a good thing I’m good at giving them
iamdanman
She didn’t leave, and I ate her ass cause I wanted too
zvae
IdontEatBooty
Eating ass is not a requirement for commitment my good man.
iamdanman
It helps though. Made my girl fall in love
zvae
in fact, if someone wanted to eat my ass, i'd probably bounce lol.
iamdanman
Sounds like you’ve never had your ass eaten
IdontEatBooty
PalaverQuader
soap. just eat more soap.
iamdanman
You gotta make sure it’s clean of course.
AeonQuasars
Well of course every people born within the same time have equal personality traits based on stars million lightyears away. That's science.
Cthulhuonabike
Stars that have drifted well out of the range that would associate those zodiac signs to the particular dates
PwnageHobo
Our galaxy is about 100k lightyears in diameter. Every star visible to the naked eye is between 4 and 4k lightyears (excluding our Sun)
vowofloudness
Technically there are naked-eye visible stars stars several Mly distant: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_galaxies#Naked-eye_galaxies
PwnageHobo
If I named a star in a distant galaxy, can you honestly tell me you can see it?
vowofloudness
No, but I can honestly tell you the light I'm seeing with my naked eye comes from stars millions of lightyears away.
PwnageHobo
Photoreceptors registering light is only part of the process of seeing. From a few km away, you see a building, not the bricks it's made of.
BernieKl
I always look forward to renewing my license at the DMV, because every one in line is someone just like me and we could all be BFFs!! /s
CarnackiArdent
Let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific documented evidence 1/2
CarnackiArdent
So you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true - where was I? 2/2
JamJarre
It is very silly, but I concede that the time of year you're born might have an impact on the development of your personality. Very broadly
tentacularfleshscape
In which case the closer thing is the Chinese year of the whatever
JamJarre
Well no that's still year by year, not time of year
ItHappenedInThe20thCentury
Sure, and october in France and october in Brazil are gonna have the exact same kind of influence. Broadly.
SindarElla
Yeah, in school I was good friends with a bunch of other summer babies, since we all had birthdays around the same time.
SindarElla
And I had a boss who hated Christmas because that's her birthday too and she always felt it overshadowed her birthday
Qualtagh
Having a bit more or less maturity than your peers in the first years of (pre)school could certainly have lasting effects.
LowestForm
September and October kids give off eldest child vibes maybe. Haven't done any research but
BethMme4
Was that be from getting more sun and fresh produce in the third trimester?
BethMme4
What dates do schools use now for kindergarten cut off? Used to be the October and November kids would be the youngest in the class.
ShiftingPattern
There's a tiny chance that seasonality MINORLY influences personality. Changes in diet and vitamin D from sun when a woman is pregnant, etc.
LongCommentChainAppreciator
Except healthy pregnancies last about 9 months, severely limiting the seasonal factor to 3/4 seasons
ShiftingPattern
But modern life would definitely have obliterated any such influences in most of the world by now and I'm only thinking MINOR to begin with.
ShiftingPattern
Even if that were true, though, astrology is still dumb. IF true there would be some kind of gradient, but there's no time-based pattern.
ShiftingPattern
The personality traits associated with one sign and the signs before and after it jump wildly with no discernible pattern.
ShiftingPattern
If anything, it's circumstantial self-determination: People susceptible to believing in it reinforce the traits they think they should have.