razorgirl1066
159406
7553
288
Dec 15, 2020 5:32 PM
razorgirl1066
159406
7553
288
RagnarOfBallard
ScarecrowSticks
gitguuud
“I believe and follow God! He is good and great! I also have premarital sex which is super-duper sinful!”
CuntCrotchula
ClericOfTheProsperityGospel
Hey man I think small white penises are kinda cute really. If the dude trims at least otherwise it looks like a... hairy goblin... thing.
that300ZXguy
Had me interested until "frogs croaking" in the middle of December. Please.
subtleinspades
Came to comment this same thing! Whatever that dude thought he heard, it wasn’t frogs in the winter, lol!
Wewantedthefunk
He got absolutely, and rightfully, dragged by thousands of people in response. It was amazing.
nonCanadianGoose
SaveitforQueenDoppelpoppolus
that shooting star's name? albert einstein
TwinWaterTowers
Actually, that was the one part I believed. Geminid Meteor shower was Sunday night. I actually planned to go watch, but work was shit.
StewedTomaters
Well while you were working this guy and me were busy not getting laid, who wins that one? You, obviously.
TwinWaterTowers
I actually was home. Meant to watch but work kicked my ass this weekend. And I just couldn't get up any interest in fun. I live near GW >
TwinWaterTowers
Parkway and it is beautiful. Pisses me off this douche used this, kind of dirties it for me. Also it's right near Mt Vernon, GW estate >
TwinWaterTowers
And to think GW is some moral high ground while he lived a life made easy by enslaved people is crazy.
ThailandExpress
Nunyajonesinc
Your business is crippled because of your tin pot dictator failing to act and a republican controlled senate only interested in Corp welfare
astroarcher13
https://imgur.com/2fBEJtN.jpg TRUTH THAT!
FloodingWaters
"...also, i drink and drive"
andwings2go
“My people are persecuted” dawww isn’t he special?
DavidBrooker
Pro-tip: if a dude says hes "not political" it means he's conservative but still wants to get laid
Kraeggan
Meh, I tell a lot of people I'm "not political", but I live in bumfuck maga land, so it's still bad but "at least you're not a libtard".
astroarcher13
as sibling told me, "We (he & wife) don't watch SNL, too political" then proceeds to tell me that "Unions came from Mobsters"-D'uoh! SMH
BroseidonKingOfTheBros
Or Unions were natural friends of mobsters because Cops would side with the wealthy and kill labor organizers...
AttackOfTheSpaceBat
Read it because I thought the punchline was coming. But just like this incel, it never came.
Orsson
Nah, he jerked off in the car.
barnwolf
I laughed. At the absurdity and complete disconnect from reality.
Breastbeakfastever
RideTheStimutacs
Oh, he did, but to his own story.
BobsBurgersRules
Oh you mother fucker. This comment..... Youuuuu. Well done.
MrHailstone
Me too, did not think this will give me cancer. Then the mayor of christmas saved me.
IBroughtASpareDrainpipe
The punchline was the very last post - the response to the clueless bearded Nazi from the "mayor"!
AttackOfTheSpaceBat
No, I saw that. I meant a punchline from sad beardman
Cyrilion
Yeah exactly, like some shit about going flaccid from thinking about trump or thinking about his bernie crotch tattoo after claiming to be/1
Cyrilion
A trumpie to get with the girl would have been great, realizing this guy exists is just sad./2
AttackOfTheSpaceBat
Yuuup
Jamerperson
I was expecting jumper cables.
somethingsomethingwittyhere
Blue balls in a red state...
Purkitten
I got blue balls after reading this..
bluerazzgummy
Holy fukkkkkkk I love this comment so much haha
oskar4498
In 1900 comments do you really think he gave a shit about this one?
ardash
baatar
Boom
BrockEffingSamson
Chpgmr
"I'm not a religious man" "in the end...god wins" uhhhh
astroarcher13
https://imgur.com/2fBEJtN.jpg
DefinitelyaHumanNotanAlien
"I'm not a self-centred man, but clearly this coincidental freak occurence was a sign from the universe to me, a random guy, specifically."
PaintYourWagon
I do miss cringe posts, it has been quite a while since one (dis)graced the front page.
Nunyajonesinc
Every political post is cringe worthy
Jojowmojo
The last four years and eleven and one half months anyway
Nunyajonesinc
That was my point, every time I see a thumb of trump on my feed I immediately think, fuck, what'd the cheeto do now
eastend666
You don't get enough cringe in your everyday life with this non-stop shit show? What's your secret?
artifactcreature
Faloopsinarb
The mods shut down and delete most anything anti-incel.
BOSSMOPS
I have a cringe folder, have fun
PaintYourWagon
Good man.
WehWehWeh
I absolutely hate it, 10/10
MaurnaElegYiar
I did. I love cringe posts
Goblor
fuck yes ty, I thrive on this shit.
Craicerjack
My people are persecuted.
Bezaid
I thought it was satire up until that line. Then I checked his profile. This dude seems like he guzzled down the Qool-ade.
MTH254
Trust the plan!
whatseventhepoint
This reads like the twitter manifesto of a guy that ends upon the news
TheGhostofElizabethShue
“What would Washington think? Whatever I want him to, probably.”
kingkongkeom
Probably tell him not to drink and drive...
SurfHill
Read his feed. Never has such a man that thought so highly of himself been as much of a loser, since the Trumps.
VresiBerba
You, not only read through it all, but you believe it happened? Wow...
KeyLimeAnxiety
I’ll take your word for it and spare my own eyes
SurfHill
FTWorld666
So glad he admits to chugging booze n driving too. This is a bit nitpicky but he just seems like the type
Tifandi
wait... this wasn't satire?
Takethejump
Nope.
TheDogEnd
FOLLOW UP: He has since changed his profile pic and deleted this fake-ass story. Sorry, loser, but the internet is forever.
crisscross98
Judging by his feed, is this satire or true trump talk?
Takethejump
Oh, it's real.
RoombaTheAssaultVacuum
After Trump leaves office I'm going to direct everyone I can to this guy to make him realize he's a god damned moron.
DerekDrunk
It will have zero effect. He'll still believe that Trump is "in power" as he tweets from whatever hole he's gone into.
QmanTheEmperor
Fuck him... Oh wait he did not get some.
itrynottocommentbutyoumakemecringe
1/? Every single piece of this is fake. 1) how have you been “seeing someone” and then not ask if you voted for trump if it’s important DAY1
itrynottocommentbutyoumakemecringe
2/? 2) this idiot has to give reasons for using a dating app, as if it’s a crime or weakness. Dating apps are amazing. 3) I’m done fuckhim
INeverWaitForIt
The real victim here is the imaginary woman who almost let a pedo rapist sympathizer's dick near her.
ThePretentiousGentleman
Even I think that that prose is too purple.
ProfessorPritt
Didnt Trump call Vets and anyone serving losers anyways?
andychristman2000
Nah, I would rather look at dog turds than read anymore red hat beliefs on America
SnakeonaSegway
Link please? I love to swallow in looser's dreams. Not really but I love facts (blush)
BlueDuckPale
As of yet you havent met me!!
lemmonjello
Sadly there are lots of people like this everywhere.
Zed6945
As a Canadian, what frogs are out and about in December in DC?
oldandfat
Bigly
Imalwaysready
Or not. Let this moron wither for lack of attention.
lovinglockdown
Noooooo! Let him wither from so much withering attention that he withers.
Imalwaysready
Yeah, because this guy won't feed on the attention at all...
Primatebuddy
Please sir, I implore you...don't make me do this.
GiancarloBabatunde
Do IT
Zamm005
Yea nah, they’ve always existed... just that before the internet they were known as the village idiot, and only a handful had to suffer them
Takethejump
Right? The ranting and fantasy just got stuffed in a shoebox with the victoria's secret catalog and the swimsuit issue, until the internet.
SurfHill
But, now they inspire the other village idiots and ban together with their stupidity.
sfbiker
Which makes his story less believable, how did this girl from a dating app he's "been seeing" not know about his political views?
MCNewYorkLives
Not to mention, why would she ask this question in the middle of making out?
gaiidraws2
And that woman’s name? Albert Einstein. Then everyone clapped.
Youcanbekittycat2000orwhatever
He kept referring to his boner as a “proud boy” and it tipped her off
ILovedUnicornsFirst
imakesoap
The “I peeled her off of me” gave me that impression from the get go. No need to delve further into his ego
lovinglockdown
Or his pants
ILovedUnicornsFirst
Seriously. What is she? A banana jacket?
GiancarloBabatunde
Lol nice
lovinglockdown
Cos only the chosen peel off a sure thing. Hope it means trumptards are less likely to breed. Maybe that’s why God stopped him...
fraxinusoleaceae
Holy fuck that profile pic is dead serious isn't it.
BarbedWireCatheter
War clandestine?!? He’s got his head so far up his own ass he needs spelunking gear
mediumrare164
Let’s hope he’ll find his way out
sleepinggreenidea
He's got his head so far up his own ass that he can look in the mirror and still think he has a good head on his shoulders.
billymayscocainestash
Yeah none of that happened. The first sentence is the give away
Callbox
'Too Woke to get Laid' is indeed an Incel trait.
Assbandit
I have a large message saved from a Trump supporter who I turned down a while back and he went off on me. It reads exactly like those tweets
nemo3590
"She was too intimidated by my intelligence" has long been code for "I'm arrogant, inconsiderate, and incredibly overbearing."
dantethetemplar
I'll take Things That Never Happened for $100
tothineownselfbetrue
The meteor is likely true. If this was in the past few days he caught the gemenids meteor shower that peaked on Sunday.
SurfHill
It was 34 degrees in DC at 7pm last night. He sure didn't hear frogs croaking.
gingewagon
Came here to say the exact same thing. The GW is beautiful but not so right now when the leaves are all gone.
prettydumb
its real . lol
malbec
lol right? They got that far without mentioning he’s a trumptard? It’s like, how do you know someone does CrossFit....
chipsconqueso
Oh idk, I totally believe she wouldn't fuck him, but probably after he railed MAGA at her all night and showed what a dick he is
RumbleNtheJungle
Do you not talk politics. I love to hit em with the oh oh oh! bama.
IhopeyougetstageIIIcoloncancer
I believe it happened. Why would someone with a fragile ego lie about not having sex? That's a bold move.
trelf
Your username is evil, but entertaining.
IhopeyougetstageIIIcoloncancer
DarkestHappyTime
For real! Who cares what about the one night stands political opinions?
iabductaliens11
I love the meaningful word vomit. All these "manly men" are so deep and sensitive. Too bad they're fucking idiots.
invaliduserformat
Right? A waste of penis and a pathetic excuse of a man.
gypsyinclinations
Imagine taking a meteor as a sign from God during an actual weeklong meteor shower. Up to 100/hr if you're looking in the right direction.
dantethetemplar
I keep getting cloud coverage during every meteor shower, fuckin 2020
gypsyinclinations
Me too, damnit! I even have a hammock this year to help with the neck strain. Would have been great in August. Oh well.
bundleofwoodensticks
I live in Bethesda. I’ve sat on the side of the GW parkway. No way he saw a shooting star with the light pollution. Prob a plane to DCA
trelf
"Just then, the frogs all applauded my decision to leave."
BannedbyastupidMod
This man fails meeting women and doesn't see his own faults.
RevolutionOnHerLips
That's the sad truth about most incels, and why incel echo chambers are so dangerous.
WhyDontYouMakeMe
I believe that people don't want to fuck him because of his unfortunate political opinions and seditious sentiments
Mexrose75
She waited that long to ask?
WhyDontYouMakeMe
Maybe she was desperate. He doesn't look that ugly or anything
Anfalicious
Yeah, everything after the bit where he’s alone in his car seems real.
mymidlifecrisiswasat23
Just wait. I moved from California to Utah and had to get on the dating apps. The difference of politics here and )where I was from ) in Ca
mymidlifecrisiswasat23
Is different. I did start seeing a girl, and it wasn’t until our second date (cuddle buddies - just being honest) did I ask her about
mymidlifecrisiswasat23
Her stance. She was a trumper, and I didn’t see her again. Point being, is that this can happen and the question does not always
mymidlifecrisiswasat23
Come up immediately. But when it does, it is that polarizing.
gypsyinclinations
Isn't it though? It's a huge values difference. And I hope you have better luck in Utah. It can be weird.
mymidlifecrisiswasat23
I asked her while on my couch, and she told me. After the movie I folder her to leave. I am being dead honest here. It has
TacoThePerson
hamburgerhands
Straight up! This guy got ejected from her place hahaha
james20192
Probably after he started preaching about the second coming of Trump
TacoThePerson
And punched a hole in her drywall.
hamburgerhands
Bingo! Nothing dries a pussy more than someone brainwashed by a demagogue
Chromeburn8
Hahaha I’m gonna steal this one
TacoThePerson
Also I bet he wouldn't be willing to put his stupid options on his tinder.
TacoThePerson
Opinions*
AFistfulOfDollHairs
Open onions
darkhalfbreed
His Tinder would be a shirtless picture of him saying he loves his country, his trunk, his gun, and his president.
Hardestpartisfindingausernamethatisnttaken2
Gotta love your trunk!
ThanosTheGreat
Honestly both options and opinions work in that sentence.
grandestoptimist
I’ve left mid hookup before, it’s definitely hard.
pocacoconut
Giggity
ButIBuildAThousandBridges
I know that highway-there is no scenic part you can pull over and see the washington monument. It runs the other way, parallel to Georgetown
bonoboforscale
And yet that was the most believable part of his bullshit story
hogeyegrex
Frogs in December sounds like a stretch as well.
KaraokeLemur
Nah, it's a weird year. Cherry trees blossoming under Christmas lights and blackbirds singing in the darkness. In Scandinavia.
haveyouheardabouttheseinternetmemes
Also if you think that's the most beautiful drive in the country you've clearly never been to California.
dunkledan
DC is gross
jabike2424
Or really anywhere.
imcurrentlyatabar
Eh. GW parkway is really gorgeous in autumn (or many other times of year). I’ve seen a lot and that drive ranks highly.
KaraokeLemur
Eye of the beholder. Guy digs Trump after all.
pgdave
I live in the area - there are nicer drives in nearby MD and VA.
haveyouheardabouttheseinternetmemes
Or really most of the national parks.
Miller16of16
Or anywhere
Theyhitmewithatruck1
Or further south in Virginia (Blue Ridge Parkway).
CAAFlo
What actually happened: they matched. He tipped his red hat hand in the first couple of texts. She ghosted him.
putcleverusernamehere
1000%
ItsMeToddKraines
Right? She wouldn't ask him that question and then "frantically ask where he's going". She'd know she dodged a bullet.
ayyyywed24
She would probably have known he was a trumper before they hooked up . Clearly he isn't quiet about it
wombatmcgee
She'd ask him the question and then ask him to leave.
Taxicat
But, y’know, he’s gotta save face and all that, and make it look like it was HIS decision to leave (instead of being thrown out).
wombatmcgee
My cat does that when she gets stuck in the garage & has to be rescued but stops to groom. At least then someone gets their pussy licked.
blankunderscore
Definitely. It’s frustrating that politics have become so extreme that several people can’t tolerate each other
BroseidonKingOfTheBros
Yeah! How dare people make romantic decisions based on a person's core values! Women should have agency removed from them like Jordan (1)
BroseidonKingOfTheBros
Peterson says!
blankunderscore
I think you may want to go back and reread Peterson’s works
RevolutionOnHerLips
It's frustrating people keep asking us to be kind to people who want to limit human rights.
oopsIdroppedmypocketpasta
Hey, for whatever reason it's wrong to kill fascists and fascist apologists. They're not getting laid? Real light punishment.
blankunderscore
I don’t care about people’s relationships. I care that people I know refuse to talk to others who are of the opposite political spectrum
blankunderscore
An us vs. them mentality is detrimental to a democracy when the two players are the ones that make up the democracy
Fuzzynubz
That poor girl.
whatthefuck9999999
Thank god she asked.
CheesecakePi
Sounds to me like she saved some time. Seems they both have worldviews and opinions that they strongly hold to, which aren't compatible.
impedimenta
A couple of minutes maybe.
shamanbaptist
Did I miss something? If she’s not imaginary, she dodged a bullet.
Blethigg
Imagine living in his imagination. The horrors that poor woman has seen.
Leoncroi
I thought this was going somewhere profound; turns out whiney snowflake got cock-blocked for his treason and wanted to vent.
humptysorthopedic
He could have lied and said he was a feminist.
storebrandproductmascot
For all the times he's lied for Trump, he can't bring himself to lie to get laid. He puts Trump's needs before his own.
sleepinggreenidea
You're more trusting than I. My assumption is he let slip he was a Trumpet, was told to hit the road, and retconned his story accordingly...
ClericOfTheProsperityGospel
Is this not satire? IS THIS NOT SATIRE? This is beyond Poes law. This is beyond Coleslaw. Fuck I could go for some good coleslaw. And bbq...
3crowsBeast
nemo3590
Right? This reads exactly like a standard 4chan greentext shitpost, except not one of the funny/ironic kind. The edgelord kind. Worst kind.
LurkerPro66
Shut up I'm hungry now ☹
LookYouStupidBastard
You're chaotic neutral and I love it.
SecretlyThreeDucksInAManSuit
Poe's law has been taking over the fucking planet as of late.
InoffensivePablum
We must defend the Constitution. BY BURNING IT AND IGNORING EVERYTHING IT SAYS! Well, except the gun part. WE KEEP THE GUN PART!
RedditBurnerAccount
they ignore the half of the gun part that outlines being part of a well regulated militia
InoffensivePablum
Are you casting into doubt the operational readiness of Meal Team Six?
zagibu
Why not just make the dude with the most guns president? Isn't that what the US is about?
[deleted]
[deleted]
TheGrayBox
You don’t actually believe that, do you?
InoffensivePablum
People often forget that part of the Sermon on the Mount. I blame the radical left-wing fake news.
BlastingRopeToWaluigiHentai
Even the Pharisees and Sadducees downvoted Jesus when he spoke truth to power.
storebrandproductmascot
Blessed are those who are strapped.
Counterfit
Gotta keep em separated
glaug
So, uh, nature didn't prevent the Holocaust. What natural rights are we talkin' about?
BlastingRopeToWaluigiHentai
you mean after the German people were disarmed by their government and unable to fight back?
glaug
When were they disarmed? Hitler loosened existing gun control laws.
BlastingRopeToWaluigiHentai
Not true in the least - http://jpfo.org/articles-assd03/keep-your-guns-buy-more.htm
glaug
Besides that, it shouldn't matter how many guns anybody had. If the Holocaust violated natural rights, why didn't nature prevent it?
glaug
Hello?
Dagordae
Ah yes, the natural and inherent right to own a certain kind of modern weapon. I bet people in the 1400s were really damn confused when they
BlastingRopeToWaluigiHentai
Yes, because by that logic the 1st Amendment should only apply to quill pens.
Dagordae
Figured that right out. ‘The ability to own a gun? Sir Daniel, doth they mean one of those new ‘pot-de-fur’ those French nobles have?’
Dagordae
Also, natural rights and natural law are both philosophical blather. Nature doesn’t play that game, the only rights nature grants you is the
Dagordae
Right to kill or be killed.
PrincessLeliana
lmfao as if this guy is kissing anyone. "Trump will remain in office on jan 20th". He talks about the consitution, but wants it broken? tf?
liquinas
Well, you see, it all began when this didn't happen...
bobbysporncollection
Right wing twitter is lousy with folks clamoring for a violent clash when Biden takes office. They're snorting too much Qcaine.
Chalybos
If they fuck around & find out, they’re going to be in for a surprise.
90sWereGold
This is what and Fox and Breitbart news is doing to these people. They think they have to save America from Americans.
spiffylookingnerfherder
Either he's an 'originalist' who thinks only the votes of white male (landowners) should count, or he's never actually read it.
giftkartoffel
And the "my business is crippled, people are hungry, corruption is rampant... So obviously I want to keep the dude letting all this happen"
LaughingInTheFaceOfDanger
So much this. A good portion of what's wrong is due to Trump ffs idiots
Shrike99
No no, it's all Biden's fault. If he can already undermine the president to do all this now, imagine how bad it will be when he's in charge!
beasttubbs
That's just it, to him the Democrats are the ones who broke the constitution. He's an idiot and wrong but that's how he thinks
90sWereGold
Yup. Can't fix stupid.
Taxicat
“Depends on the kind of stupid. Some stupid can be fixed with an ass-whoopin’!” -Alabama Boss (I miss Vine so much...)
lovinglockdown
You can try...
ScarecrowSticks
HolyCowDoNotEat
I just realized, that dude has great skin. I am jealous of his baby-smooth complexion.
KrondorMocker
https://imgur.com/WXLsAf3
ChronoDigger
Easy there, Buffalo Bill.
DemSumBigAssRidges
He's wearing make-up, my dude. Without it, under those lights, regardless of his natural complexion, he'd probably look like aged leather.
HolyCowDoNotEat
He most likely has on a little bit of powder and perhaps some concealer. Middle aged men don’t need a full face of makeup to be on tv
Imalwaysready
Also goes from "I"m not religious and haven't prayed since I was a kid" to "in the end God wins!" in like 3 tweets. He's an unfuckable liar.
nemo3590
"God wins" - referring to a far-fetched scenario in which a guy who gassed priests for a photo op prevails over a lifelong devout Catholic.
Chromeburn8
lovinglockdown
This is so funny I can’t even try to out funny it. Thank you.
Treblaine
"I do know that on January 20th Trump will remain in office" correct, he will remain in office until 12 noon of January 20th.
SarcasticComment
I've decided I need to take the entire day off work to watch press coverage on Donald Trump's shitfit
Sutashi
I'm still betting he will skip out before then. I'd say to a non extraditing country but enough of the world hates him some might just cause
Varimothras
You think he can just juke the Secret Service?
Treblaine
I think he's not unduly paranoid that the moment it's 12:00 an FBI agent can put a hand on his shoulder and say "you're under arrest".
fidormula
AtlasFoodDeliverySystem
JustSomePersonThere
Now THAT is one good boy!!!!
Thelrishlnquistion
MoreAwesomerDan
Surely
Lol, I've never seen that one before. Yoink!
bekindtoanimals
HA!
Counterfit
RolandLovecraft
Me too. Take this cause I sure as fuck am taking yours.
OBM1
If Clint Eastwood were a cat...
RolandLovecraft
That Gran Turino look, yes!
DwightYouIdiot
Ok this one got me! Lmao
Heavenissize17socks
Good boy!!
obarey
Me too, doggo, me too.
SexualCannibal
I’m stealing this lol
DrPepper523
Uhm...that username tho
SexualCannibal
DrPepper523
Adorable spider is adorable.
fidormula
Problemwoodchuck
As long as we're making shit up lemme tell you about how I saved my dog from a sinking battleship and punched the ghost of King George III
OOjnt1BVoH
I find your story infinitely more believable
Problemwoodchuck
IWouldDoThings
I was there also. I witnessed everything you did and it was glorious. That ghostly monarch never stood a chance! Long live dog.
suomynonA
sirbartonslady
But why didn't you punch out the ghost of Henry VIII? he deserved it too!
tarataqa
KG3 had it coming!
TheLuckybamboo
Well now I’m invested. Tell me more
Problemwoodchuck
Not much else to tell, just a standard monarch-punching of a haunted sinking battleship. I think the dog chased a ball or something.
rjkardo
Wait! I need to verify this! What battleship?
Problemwoodchuck
Not sure. Battleshipology isn't a strong suit for me but since it was the ghost of King Goerge III that I punched out probably a British one
Problemwoodchuck
@IWouldDoThings will back me up
IWouldDoThings
Yep, riding my hovercraft over the ocean & I was like "oh no, what's up w that battleship?!" He was like -SAVE! And then he was like -PUNCH!
CuttleFishOfCthulu
I once finger banged Marie Antoinette behind a Wendys.
CoqRoq
Did you incorporate a bun in an erotic and surprising way?
CuttleFishOfCthulu
I wore it as a hat.
Nunyajonesinc
Did she give you head?
tarataqa
Did she let u eat dat cake?!?
tonyiscariot
"Let them eat spicy nuggs."
dsmegst
You too? This girl gets around.
Problemwoodchuck
Eww...Wendys
StewedTomaters
Bro i waited in the drive thru line for 20 minutes to get 2 spicy chicken sandwiches the other day. 15 cars of people can't all be wrong.
suffyr
What's wrong with wendy's friend
Problemwoodchuck
Mostly just the local one being nasty with bad ownership
TheLovelessHummingbird
I did have really good Wendy's and really bad Wendy's, depends on location for sure