wafflesOMG
549619
9795
275
See how you like this.
SFB 2: http://imgur.com/gallery/u9zua
Burnsie92
One kid liked to watch airplanes fly over from the air station. The drill instructor caught him and made him chase the planes
JesusLives
military stay-classy, i like it. http://img.pandawhale.com/53503-Thor-Upvote-gif--Imgur-BjgE.gif
ThaMo0s3
This can't be up voted enough
PiscinaDeLaMuerte
i like that the upvote shatters too
grandw0lf
During reception, we had the looniest fucking DS the army had to offer. This one we named Chicken Skin turned to us and (1/?)
grandw0lf
Sat down for a heart to heart with our unit, "You guys think you know how to masturbate? You don't know how to masturbate...(2/?)
grandw0lf
What you do is you take a chicken skin and curl it in your hand, and you just start fucking it. Feels just like a pussy,"(3/?)
grandw0lf
He then picked up his campaign cover and walked off oblivious to our horrified stares, my question to this day remains...(4/?)
grandw0lf
"DID HE ATLEAST THAW IT FIRST?" We feared the question was no.
TheSecondPiewackit
Most motivational speech I ever heard from a DS was dubbed the "2 legs and a chocha" speech. All about getting laid in AIT. Sounds similar.
ISarabi
http://imgur.com/tbn5icZ Did he at least have a nice funeral?
kiiyor
1/2: That last one... I saw one group not being yelled at, and cunningly went to stand with them. They were all the officers that wanted to
kiiyor
2/2: watch the hilarity. "Sergent! One of your peons appear to be lost!" It was the first time I ever attempted 100 pushups.
stilloldbull
A guy put the sheet on his rack wrong side down. He had to wear it like wings, flapping and yelling "I am a catch edge fairy!" over and over
OldPeopleAngerMe
Anyone else try the blinking thing? Its way harder than I thought it would be, I got to 6
muchafoo
Am I misunderstanding this? Cuz laying on the ground and opening and closing your eyes would definitely be easy compared to the shit i did
OldPeopleAngerMe
Yeah sucking 100 dicks definitely would be harder than opening and closing your eyes
ForgotAboutIt
Not for you.
formedsmoke
I enjoy the classic misunderstandings best- guy in my flight was instructed to "shave [his] face". He came out of the latrine with 1
formedsmoke
one eyebrow off, "Ma'am trainee Literal reports as ordered; Ma'am, are you sure?" 2
formedsmoke
They made him keep the one eyebrow on so that he had to tell the story to any other TI that asked. 3
hannahkane
My dad was a Drill Sergeant. My childhood was basic training. I could tell you all horror stories.
Daskful
Do it.
hannahkane
My father woke my brothers and I up every morning at 0400 so we could PT and shower before school. We even had to sing cadence.
Daskful
0400? That would be the time I'm going to bed. Must have sucked, is that routine still at play in your life today?
hannahkane
Heck no. I joined the Airforce after graduation, but I'm out now. The discipline I learned has helped me a great deal in life.
hannahkane
My father woke my brothers and I up every morning at 0400 so we could do PT and shower before school. We even had to sing cadence.
Whitney189r
That's amazing. I wish I grew up that way.
ThisGuyOvaHere
A guy killed a mosquitoe that landed on his face, he ended up spending his day digging a 6 foot grave in which he had to bury it.
kamquatbaby
My roomate had a friend who convinced a kid to stick his thumb up his butthole. The kid complained to an officer,
kamquatbaby
and was put in the conduct system for "failure to use good judgement"
Meskimo
Had class with a guy who went through basic. He said one of the guys was terrified of the 6'5" black drill sergeant. One day the guy (1/3)
Meskimo
(2/3)fucked up and had to do burpees while the drill sergeant screamed in his face the whole time. He over exerted himself and passed out.
Meskimo
(3/3)They asked him the last thing he remembered, he said "The Darkness". The drill sergeant adopted the name for himself after that.
Thor561
Was this guy also Rick James?
TacticusThrowaway
That escalated metally.
thetypoman
http://imgur.com/PQWdP2z
MizuNoMark
MUTTA! i watched that from start to finish so sad when it ended and left unsatisfied
SeamInTheWall
+1 for space brothers https://38.media.tumblr.com/b01c29aed8031725fa5859933306004e/tumblr_ml7cyvpHCw1qdc388o1_500.gif
Tehbeefertehbeefer
Space Brothers!
neffkid96
I'm leaving to basic soon, thanks lol.
shaxgolgotha
this shit is a walk in the park if you're going to be a soldier/marine. if you're going to be a POG though, lol no.
mercedes314
Baby powder is your best friend for sweat and chafing. Always have some, especially in warm climates.
Shannerwren
I can swim & I'm mildly acrobatic. Mostly tho I'm athletically retarded. I'm mouthy & I survived Marine Corps boot camp (1990). You're fine.
lipsasaurus
We paid a guy $50 to put tiger balm on his juno and bung hole. He did not cry but did scream alot
RedVsBlue
Juno that had to hurt...I'm not even sorry I said it.
lipsasaurus
I am so suprised no one said anything, it was supposed to be junk, but i guess juno is slang for meat saber somewhere
disagreeable
lipsasaurus
this made me laugh alot
quinners12
My schools theatre program has all the guys do this for opening night. Freshman year, they got me to put water to stop it. Ooh. Nightmares.
YesIChangedMyNameAgain
A real man jerks off with toothpaste as lube
diregamer
I have this... "friend" who made this mistake because he was out of lotion... he almost went to the doctor because it hurt so bad.
YesIChangedMyNameAgain
I knew a guy named me who did it. The only thing worse is hand sanitizer.
cjl1209
check me off the list for hand sanitizer as well. i can still remember the skin peeling off...
agdsglsjdfgkjds43542
this summer I got "Da Bomb" hot sauce on my balls, and my friends gave me icy hot and told me it would stop the burn, never again.
nclu
In high school a girl to put Tiger Balm on her nipple. She said she'd do it if I put it on my balls. We both did. 1/2
nclu
We both did it. No crying but it was harsh. Then we upped the wager by watching hard porn while it still burned. Good times w
mighteee
This is bullshit, man... I used the tiger balm ointment (not the full liquid) when I was a kid because I ran out of lotion. No tears.
lipsasaurus
you probably had a bad time
mighteee
Nope. Never been so soothed while marinating the flank steak in my life.
Monk77
Tiger balm isn't that bad on your balls we did it at bootcamp during bdr at night because we had nothing else to do.
lipsasaurus
its funny the things you do at basic just because.
fraxinusoleaceae
Ingested tobacco is seriously toxic. A whole bag very well might kill you.... Just saying.
AttorneyAtLager
A lot of these could cause death fairly easily.
MundaneFacts
It also makes you throw up, so it's a wee bit safer.
Nemain
I think the point was he had to eat the foot powder?
Alxchemist
yeah without tolerance nicotine is seriously poisonous. source: im a biologist and i got nicotine poisoning smoking a cigar once as a teen
shaxgolgotha
in the army, there are worse things that could kill you.
UserSubImgurian
Bullets rank right up there.
Keyome
This. Moar of this please!
wafflesOMG
There is so much more and I'm just one dude. There are tons of us on here with stories like these.
omgsomeoneactually
I always loved hearing these from random sites or in imgur comment section, Good job OP!
Phoenix0rion
I'm glad none of these involved a Blue Falcon...
Beamer86
Ok, I'll bite...What's a blue falcon.
DHR107
Its Captain Falcon's F Zero racer :P
TheSecondPiewackit
Blue Falcon= BF = Buddy Fucker. Basically the platoon asshole. Gets people in trouble.
HeyCasButt
The asshole who fucks over his teammates/platoonmates usually for even modest personal gain or "just to be honest"
Crokuz
The line between discipline and torture is fucking fine as hell right here
shaxgolgotha
the line between war and hell is much finer. I am forever appreciative of the shit I went thru in basic. saved my life overseas.
Lookatmyballs
Yep and people sign up for that shit.
TheSecondPiewackit
Total compensation at e-1 is near $60,000 a year, support system is great, there's upward mobility, and job security.
[deleted]
[deleted]
TheSecondPiewackit
Not necessarily going to war. There will always be Armies.
SteveMcSleeve
The one with the locker is just plain torture
flapperfemmefatale
Yeah, stuff like this is why I decided not to enlist.
dsurik
Yeah, that one seemed a little much.
IceCreamButtholes
They're lucky he's not fucking dead, Jesus.
Evergrey
Yeah my first thought was "that is potentially fatal."
gummysharkies
He could have become majorly dehydrated which is potentially deadly. I think they went a bit too far.
Thatknifeguy
I don't believe this one. That would have killed him.
amil1lion
Welcome to the Military. It takes a special breed.
FuzzyBwalls
Fuckin idiots. That's what happens when you do something stupid. Shouldn't have locked himself in a locker
amil1lion
He should have known better. Needs to getfoff his ass and do his PT so he gets better at it. I lost 25lbs and a buddy lost 60.
flapperfemmefatale
Does anyone know if it's any different for OTS?
VEpsilon
Yeah, claustrophobia says no
Ocobthaigh
A lot of these strike me as unneccesary.
tathrok
Have you been through basic training of any kind?
AxelYamanaka
MAYBE I OUGHT TO STRIKE YOU, AND THEN SEE IF IT WAS UNNECESSARY!
TakeTheStairs
yeah, it bothers that ppl read these to laugh, without realizing what kind of psych trauma all of this amounts to. PTSD much??
TheThingBabiesSuckOn
If basic gives you ptsd, you wont last through it. theyd remove you for mental reasons. Youd have to be pretty tender to fail
AGuyWithAMusicDegree
The point of basic training is to break you. If you can't handle a bit of hell, then you shouldn't be trusted in a real battle.
FuzzyBwalls
Some people just don't get it.
christiemonir
There's a clear line between something that had a high probability of killing someone and smoking a guy. People die in hot cars.
MundaneFacts
That's why that sort of thing is frowned upon, but basic, in general is supposed to be torturous.
Azonar
You're basically government property.
iliketotellabsurdconspiracies
Yes, you also have extensive rights under the uniform code of military justice. What they did is illegal.
flapperfemmefatale
Technically, their salaries come from taxpayers. They're my property. And I'd like to not have my property damaged.
AFistFullOfMayo
You're government property. Buddy of mine was fined for damaging gov property when he got so sunburnt on leave he could not perform his duty
thethr
You are*
JBib
I've seen counseling statements for this, but never fines. I call bullshit.
AFistFullOfMayo
You are correct in that in the end they removed the fine and placed my friend into counseling for being more responsible
thedarkknightress
Basic is tough most people can't conform to military lifestyle. My dad was a TI and he has some of the best stories.
warnermd1
do tell!
[deleted]
[deleted]
HeyCasButt
SERE school is designed to be like a POW/torture cap. Basic is nothing like one.
samuraibshd
***corps
ImProbablyKidding
That's... that's simply not true
[deleted]
[deleted]
eruval82
It does somewhat simulate a POW camp that follows the Geneva conventions
CoopDH
POW camp is better
MyNameIsJohnDaker
When I was in basic, my mom would send me those cards that make noise. One was a screaming skeleton. my CC opened it repeatedly to try 1/2
MundaneFacts
Had a mother send one to a shipmate for his birthday.It was of her singing really obnoxiously. He got to do a bunch of b-day push ups.
MyNameIsJohnDaker
2/2 to make me laugh. There was no way I could control myself, I Fucking lost it but it was so worth it.
neongloww
Well this all sounds fucking terrible.
shaxgolgotha
as it is designed to be. trust me when I say being shot at in the desert in 140 degrees after sprinting 300m to your dying friend is worse.
MundaneFacts
It is terrible. It's also one of the best experienced off my life. I still remember getting blisters from doing push ups on hot pavement.
Left4Henke
Fucking horrible. It's torture and without meaning while promoting bullshit nonsense. But it turns soldiers into order-recieveing machines.
TheSecondPiewackit
I'm guessing you never actually went through basic or have any idea what it entails.
Left4Henke
"You have responsibillities - if you fuck up, there will be consequences, and maybe not just for you" is perhaps a way to apply meaning?
TheSecondPiewackit
Neither of us have any idea what you're talking about.
TheSecondPiewackit
"But it turns soldiers into order-recieveing machines." Actually it turns people into soldiers, but you don't seem to get it anyway.
Left4Henke
Yeah. "People into order-recieving machines" is more correct.
TheSecondPiewackit
Um no. It's more like "Have a target, then know and think about how to achieve that target." The military doesn't want robots, jackass.
De5kPilot
We had one kid that was shoved into a locker; the instructor then put a quarter through the slot and had him sing juke box hero.
yourenotwrongwalter
that's hilarious.
Imgurprettymuchsucks
I know the words too, so I would do alright.
DrunkGermanGuy
That's a classic one that happens all the time all around the world. My father told me similar "jukebox" stories from the east german army.
Mithi
West Germany too. And what do you do if the jukebox doesn't work properly? Exactly, you give it a few good shakes.
Draydyn
Stars in his eyes!
thegriffin88
That is amazing. XD
lunaisbestprincess
MTI heard the females in his flight singing, he made them get in the lockers and he would drop in a penny, bang on the door and scream 1/2
lunaisbestprincess
2/2 "Sing, human jukebox!" One girl started singing "Apologize", and he cracked up and gave them all a free phone call.
Stuntminer202
I always wanted a slave-locker jukebox
MajorLeagueFister
Fucking FLAWLESS
LiquidPoo
I LOL'd. OH boy did I lol.
IronicDancing
TIL all drill Sergeants are stand-up comedians.
SteevyT
I don't remember most of Juke Box Hero, but I can do Bohemian Rhapsody. Close enough?
SteevyT
.....Fuck, I forgot I was on an old post.
TeflonMike
its all good
WhenTheMusicsOver
That last one doe....
jmontey13
This happened to me. I chose "All my Ex's Live in Texas" since it was at Lackland AFB.
IWISHIWASRELEVANT
STANDIN' IN THE RAIN
jagerben47
WITH HIS HEAD HUNG LOW
MustardHeadmaster
Am I the only one that think this sounds insane and humiliating?
SaladinIskander
That's the point.
UserSubmariner
In the military, this sort of character building is necessary, in the civilian world, where being a pussy is encouraged this stuff is bad.
CuntyBooBoo
This is the greatest thing I've ever heard.
AZREDFERN
Hmmm... I've heard this story from 4 different people now
JustGreg
drill sergeants seem to have a fantastic sense of humor
reflectedsoundofundergroundspirits
For them, yea. It's not too funny for the poor victims. But everyone gets it.
donkeymoney
I think it's because they're the only ones allowed to be funny. They fill the void.
SixWingsWide
I've heard this before from our TI. He'd play music for us while we were cleaning the dorm, but if he caught anyone singing, this would be 1
SixWingsWide
2 the punishment. Anyone could walk up, drop a quarter in and request a song. Never saw it happen though.
jagerben47
well, did he sing it?
RastaDreadLion
Hilarious, but what was the objective of the instructor there?
uethello
Drill Sargent's and drill instructors are the meanest, sometimes funniest comedians ever.
MajorLeagueFister
In that case? To be funny, probably. Gotta lighten the mood from time to time.
De5kPilot
He was caught singing in the shower
BigYee
Had the same thing happen in my flight. Only the kid could sing anything and the Drill Sergeant would drop another quarter for a new song
reflectedsoundofundergroundspirits
How come I missed the AFBMT jukebox? That would have been the greatest.
BigYee
"It's a 'new Air Force'"
darnoldtux
This was the same for my flight. Another trainee had to walk through the dorm bays humming the inspector gadget theme song.
reflectedsoundofundergroundspirits
What did he do to deserve that one?
Snckdude
Hahahaha I'm glad someone else on Imgur knows of the jukebox. It was quarter after quarter for one trainee in my flight
abbrevi9
There's no way I would be able to do that without cracking up every time.
MuonNeutrino
These make me ask myself 'why the ever loving HELL would you do that?' I respect soldiers, but this sounds like nothing more than cruelty.
wilderc77
If you can't handle these things. I don't know if you could handle actually fighting.
McKavian
it is all very calculated, actually. All the yelling, the games, are meant to test you, to see if you are mentally strong enough. I made it.
Dawnstempest
Because most of these are punishments for doing stupid things, or things they shouldn't have done (like trying to get out of exercise).
GoldieRocks36
as a soldier, its hilarious and ridiculous and insane and you have to be slightly insane to enjoy it but its the best decision ive ever made
Ojkillsdrinkapplejuiceinstead
And I couldn't ever imagine living without it.
Ojkillsdrinkapplejuiceinstead
I've always told people it was the absolute best regret I ever made. You deal with a lot of stupid crazy shit, but it's my kind of shit.
MundaneFacts
"Best thing you never want to do again."
BootsCatsBootsCatsBootsCats
It's part of their brainwashing psychology... deprave them enough that they'll love getting pats on the back for following orders
TheSecondPiewackit
Um no, not at all. Its more like you're either bored, tired, or sore, and this is the closest you get to entertainment.
JackTorrencesderangedmind
You've missed the entire point of bootcamp/military training.
WetBoxOfLemons
We had a guy eat a half a tube of toothpaste to commit suicide, he left a note. He was put on suicide watch. We called him Colgate.
CommandPrivateMajor
There was a guy at reception that tried to kill himself by shoving bleach up his asshole.
LyricChae
Maybe he just wanted that Mitt Romney smile.
IntellectualBadAss
Laughed at this way too hard
LyricChae
Well, I speak no lies.
poc785
It is upsetting that this guy felt he needed to take his own life. That did not stop me from laughing out loud at "We called him Colgate."
LyricChae
You beat me to posting this.
Lookatmyballs
Why didn't they discharge him. Wouldn't be classified and a risk to himself and others in a combat situation
MundaneFacts
In coast guard boot, had a few people"break." They got shipped out, but it usually took ~5 days to discharge.
WetBoxOfLemons
It takes a long ass time for all the paperwork to be chaptered out of basic training.
KittenGrandma
They can't just discharge you they pretty much own you when you signed the line. you also don't go straight into combat out of basic :/
Lookatmyballs
I know they wouldn't send you to a combat area right away but wouldn't the guy still be a risk\
KittenGrandma
in ways yes and no. it really isn't cut out for everyone, but sometimes after you make it... it's the best feeling seeing your family proud
girlonimgur
They probably classified him as weak. And the military has a way of fixing that.
KittenGrandma
But the thing is as shitty as they treat you they have to make sure you're okay before they discharge you. it might take a while though :(
SNIPERKINGJOSHERS
As a Drill Sergeant, privates are dumb.
MundaneFacts
Most of the time, if I fucked up in basic, it was because the instructions were unclear.
Whitney189r
That's part of the fun!
Bobinatortron
If you're a DS, mind giving us a post of some of the funny things you've seen in Boot? I love basic training stories.
SNIPERKINGJOSHERS
I have yet to master the multi panel story. They don't do funny, it's more like soul crushing disappointment: one after the other.
damelamusica
Did you ever meet anyone you couldn't break?
SNIPERKINGJOSHERS
The house always wins.
Lookatmyballs
Well when they are forced to listen to assholes who are their to treat them like shit if they don't listen I could see them being retarded
TheSecondPiewackit
Drill Sergeants are awesome people so long as you're not an idiot. I would love to hang out with some of my BCT Drill Sergeants.
KittenGrandma
it's not about being ass holes. you learn to respect your drill sgts. do you think the enemy will be nicer? it's just learning to adapt.
SNIPERKINGJOSHERS
It's called stress inoculation, they need to be steely eyed killers if they want to survive harsh environments.
SNIPERKINGJOSHERS
This is how all militaries around the world train.
RedaVictoria
Drill SGTS tear you down so you can grow & build yourself into a soldier and be proud of it . It's almost like a tough love type of thing
imwoodyhowdyhowdy
Come on, man. Forced to listen? They knew what they were getting into. Being taught discipline is all part of what you think is stupid.
[deleted]
[deleted]
imwoodyhowdyhowdy
And at the end they're full of pride because they survived it. Been there done that. One of the best and most proud days of my life.
MundaneFacts
99% of people get that. It's too big of a culture shock not to
MeanWinchester
YAY! Someone went through with my idea! I hope this takes off and you receive as many upvotes as Ruffcats has hoarded!
Zombieshark
Pretty sure a lot of people had this idea.
psykalag
But op did it
wafflesOMG
Was this a planned thing? I hope I didn't steal it from someone. It just came up in a conversation :S
psykalag
Doesn't matter either way, these are fucking awesome.
PhunPhact
Can it be stories from the military in general instead of just boot camp?
OmegasParadox
You do what you want.
geriatricsanatore
I predict many front page posts if you continue this, I've sent my own story to you through Pm.
voidf1sh
Yas, can we do stories from military in general? Boot camp is great, but military opens up a whole new field!
HYDROFRACKER
My idea is to have a funniest/best comment/threads posta. Similar to peggysue or tumblr wumblr but with imgur comments instead.
HYDROFRACKER
I simply don't have to time to make this but would thoroughly enjoy to see it! And please give me credit! :)
TownsendV228
didn't just bludgeon them with his massive balls" on that post showing a picture of a man's injured hand after he defended himself (2)
TownsendV228
against a group of intruders wielding machetes. (3)
TownsendV228
I could make this happen if you wish, although I can't remember most of the good comments I've seen apart from the "I'm surprised he (1)
HYDROFRACKER
Definately a classic! You should try and make it happen or spread the word at least!
chefryank
I would start with a couple "best of" threads and ask imgurians to submit their own. Create some logo that inflates our ego and boom
BoromirDies
To everyone freaking out about what drill instructors do: you do realize why people join the military, right?
Mithi
Because they are conscripted?
BoromirDies
Depending on where they're from, maybe.
Evergrey
Because they are desperate to get out of the trap of poverty? Hoping to go to school or have some sort of future? Most of them.
BoromirDies
True. But the first thing you are is a soldier, a defender. If you can't make it through basic you can't make it through combat.
Evergrey
Also true.
flapperfemmefatale
Because they're masochists?
BoromirDies
http://imgur.com/enRHbvB
TacticusThrowaway
There are easier ways to get paid for that.
flapperfemmefatale
True. I'm just saying, I know a ton of highly educated people who wanted to serve, but decided not to because of stories like these.
flapperfemmefatale
So when I hear people bitch about how no one wants to serve this country, it pisses me off. We want to. We just don't want this.
wafflesOMG
I'll run out of stories eventually. Feel free to send me some of yours. If you are non-US link me your military crest/seal. I'll add it in.
NotHarroc
Can you spell check these? "Poweder" "Wasnted"...really OP?
bustyblonde
i love the "logo" you made
wafflesOMG
Psh, I stole that shit because I'm lazy and wasn't sure if this would even catch on.
bustyblonde
I love it anyway
wafflesOMG
ha thanks
bobsagetluvr
I had some buddies who had a "man off" with rub A535 on their balls. 2 lasted about 45 seconds, the third a min, before they ran to showers
ViagraFalls
We were in the barracks one time and a recruit was scratching his balls our DI caught him. He proceeded to chew him out and while he did 1/?
ViagraFalls
Another recruit looked over to his crotch and the DI saw. The DI said, "What you want to help him? Go ahead and scratch his balls then." 2/?
ViagraFalls
Without any hesitation the recruit reached over and started scratching the other guy's balls. This got the whole platoon laughing, 3/?
ViagraFalls
including the DI. He had to take off his smokey bear and cover his face with it. It was hilarious. 4/4
Runzu
Thank you so much for that laugh! xD
lipsasaurus
I could write you a book.
wafflesOMG
Aye, I think a lot of us could. And that's not includ AIT, schools, deployments, selection or any of the other stuff that happens.
lipsasaurus
true story.
ForOurNation
When I get home, I've got a few good ones. Commenting so I'll remember to PM you later.
Beegeezee505
We had a guy that wouldn't shower. So we tied him down in the "Killzone" of the barracks bay and covered him in Gold Bond body powder.
TheSecondPiewackit
I think we all had one guy like this.
matthewsaurusrex
I don't have many boot camp stories but I have a lot of deployment pooping stories. If interested, let me know.
RepublicofTexa
I like these better than the Stay Classys, because I believe they're real... even if they're not, they're more believable
UH60Mechanic
Holy shit, I have SO MANY stories. I'm in barracks right now and could collect a FUCKTON.
UH60Mechanic
And that's just BCT, let's not even get into flight hahahaha
happyfrog1234
@straybullet might want in on this... or he might at least know of a lot of other ones to add. =)
StrayBullet
I know quite a few from being in the Marine Corps. The Marines love their antics. I might share in due time. I hope all is well!
GamblerFive
During our 20 mile ruck my battle buddy had to shit, but didnt want to stop. Of course the poop was going to be a brick after the MRE's(1/2)
GamblerFive
so he just shit himself, walked bow legged and shook it down his ACU bottoms, unbloused his boots, and shook it out. (2/2)
GamblerFive
Some guys I know now prefer to cut a small slit in the ass area, so when you're in the PB you can just squat and bombs away.
ThatGuyYouMetOnTheBus
Headed to basic in January. Will send stories as soon as I graduate.
stutteringbob
Ummmmmmm... how bad can they be? I got a sniper for a buddy and his stories are almost unbelievable.
wafflesOMG
Those aren't stories for civilians.
stutteringbob
Huh? I'm not talking about mission details. Stuff back at the base and during training. Or is this limited to basic?
wafflesOMG
So far just basic, I'm sure I can do a deployment edition at some point. Sorry was thinking you meant "other" stories
Sorry4BeingCanadian
Spell check next time. Or I'll do it for you. I had to re-read a couple of them, but otherwise I really enjoyed them :)
MouseBalls
I like this. I will send you a few.
imgurians
STOP USING A FONT WITH ALL CAPS.
mtrain85
Would love to read more of these
DangerDaneDK
I might add some if I can remember them :P. Danish National Guardsman here
hannahkane
Dude PM me I have a great one about cookies and a portapotty
knifehandUSMCsemperfiOORAHyutKILLmotoboner
When did you go through basic training? Just curious.
Rocktrash
Nah man, you'll never run out of crazy tales from basic/boot. It's scientifically impossible.
DoctorKrieger
(1/2) Our TI would play musicfor us. His favorite song was "Diamonds are forever". If it came on, diamond push-ups for the duration.
DoctorKrieger
(2/2) His playlist has it multiple times.
thegriffin88
I'm way more into this than what ruffcats has been posting. Keep 'em coming! Love the logo btw!
Salpinus
I'd like to see some from the French foreign legion... :p
Wesugi
I love your storys but please, check your spelling the next time...
Lookatmyballs
What do you expect from a grunt they didn't sign up because they were super smart
Wesugi
now thats just offensive :(
Crunchybacon
awesome stories !
CynicalUpvoter
YES MOAR MOAR MOAR!
aquaticsupersoldier
(1) Every morning in boot camp we all had to get out of our racks and stand on line...2 lines down the entire quarter deck with about a ft
aquaticsupersoldier
(2) a 4 ft space between the 2 lines for the drill SGT to walk down. One morning a guy came out with a hard on. As the SGT walked by he
aquaticsupersoldier
(3) noticed it and asked the recruit WTF he was doing with it at attention. After a few stampers the SGT looked to the recruit next to him
aquaticsupersoldier
(4) and told him to take off his flip flop and smack the dick into submission...at this point everyone is trying not to laugh. so the
aquaticsupersoldier
(5) recruit takes off his flop and with hesitance smacks the hard on...lightly...the SGT takes off his hat and hides his face for a few secs
OMGWTFISTHIS
I'll be leaving to BT in January. It's a long ass way away, but I'll let you know anyway.
qqkikilicious
You are going beyond the call of duty soldier. Thank you.
lostconfusedandeasilydistractedheylookapenny
And sent.
Pojiy
Love em, keep them coming :P
DeepReaver
The stories my friends have told me about their time in boot and uses of tiger balm, i swear...
Kamadantlufftwaffle
You are my hero
Equreuil
I had a DI who kept two scorpions in a tank in his office (the platoon's name). He would say that if someone wanted to quit 1/2
Equreuil
all they had to do was put a hand in the tank and pet them.
andrewman
ooh we also had a heavyset guy that was told to keep Jello in his cargo pocket and the DI would check on it throughout the day - USMC
Wariyoshi
I go to chair force boot camp on December 9th. Are you planning on making this a thing? I'll have plenty of stuff to say when I get back :P
TownsendV228
You might get a lot more stories if you don't limit this series to basic training (allowing all military related stories)
AHorticulturistIsJustANerdyGardener
Navy - if you didn't look attentive enough during a watch, you were given Bunny Watch. RDC (navy for DI) would find a dusty bunny, and you'd
AHorticulturistIsJustANerdyGardener
have to follow it around for four hours with a notebook and ruler and log all its movements.
TheFlyingHellfish
I'll PM you a couple from USAF basic training. Thanks! Have you thought about adding the imgurian from whom you got the stories? :)
andrewman
Used to do rifle drill with footlockers (yeah imagine that in your minds eye) whenever someones rifle was dirty - USMC
Prisonbitch
My last name is granier (gran-yay) everyone called me grenade. one day DS gave me a spoon from an MRE if i dropped it everyone within 5m 1/2
Prisonbitch
Had to be "dead" untill revived by a drill seargent. Also on my fiancee's account I'm ThatUnderScoreGuy. damn you google chrome
philliplovesall
What about mercenaries?
USD1
heard a story about a marine who was bet 100 bucks per inch of broomstick shoved up his ass. made 800 bucks, apparently.
AIRBORNEALLTHEWAY
We had a kid that was such a smart ass, he had to dress up as George Washington for BCT Grad.
amberambrosia
Please change the font and not make it all caps
AIRBORNEALLTHEWAY
Will do, but for now I'm off to bed.
CableAHVB
When I got to boot, I guess I didn't expect it to start so suddenly, the shark tank makes it very real, very quick - U.S. Navy
SweetBrotatoePie
hey i go to boot Feb. 18 and i would really like a few tips to try and help me prepare for whats in store.
reflectedsoundofundergroundspirits
Rule #1: don't stand out. Rule #2: don't volunteer for anything. You'll do fine.
CableAHVB
Don't be that thin skinned pussy who gets offended by shit that doesn't matter, don't ask stupid questions all day, and don't fall asleep(2)
CableAHVB
If you can do 50 push ups, 50 sit ups and run a mile and a half in 12 minutes you're good, just (1)
NateDawggy
It's easy to prepare for, just do 300 pushups and then stand at parade rest for 3 hours and repeat. Hardest part for me was the boredom
RuneKatashima
Also, first day they don't give you any sleep so sleep on the bus/plane or whatever if you can. DON'T BRING *ANYTHING* WITH YOU.
mercedes314
Which branch?
SweetBrotatoePie
Navy
HeyCasButt
Honestly, the best advice is just to mentally prepare yourself for being punished even when you felt you did nothing wrong. If you can(1)
HeyCasButt
get over that you'll do fine. If you want to excel, just keep attention to detail, don't screw up but also don't call attention(2)
solaruin
we had a Vietnamese guy in our flight, naturally we fucked with him a lot . one day we got in our service coats and surrounded him while 1/?
solaruin
he was asleep, while one dude got under his bunk and started shoving his mattress. fucker started screaming at the top of his lungs 2/?
solaruin
in Vietnamese and we all started screaming at him while he flailed around like a retard....good times
LegendaryMoonlightSculptor
Good job : ) use a font that's easier on the eyes next time
catclicker
Comic Sans...
catclicker
But seriously Impact or something would work.
thecommenterimgurdeserves
Oh your eyes hurt? That'll cost you five-thousand 8 count body destroyers.
KimJongSpoon
If you use comic sans i swear...
wafflesOMG
Aye, will do.
asteconn
No no, this font is fine and ideal for the usecase
iLikeLanguageandJustWanttoHelpplsdonthitme
And I noticed a few words were written wrong, so proof-reading is gold. :) Love the stories though. Great job! :D
nation543
impact is the most common. one thing you could do is to take the format that you're using, minus text, and add text via imgur memegen
gourdshavemorefun
Yes this, maybe if it wasn't all in caps would be getter. Otherwise, nice layout, great stories.
asteconn
No no, this font is fine and ideal for the usecase
jrau18
Something where the letters aren't so thin and scrunched. Made the contrast a bit annoying.
schwiftyschwa
I think it's the all-caps that make it hard to read.
asteconn
As a designer, this.