ClockworkAccord
161892
4532
106
I didn’t see the movie myself. But after seeing these. I almost want to.
Jan 1, 2020 12:55 PM
ClockworkAccord
161892
4532
106
I didn’t see the movie myself. But after seeing these. I almost want to.
TheRealDurdan
My favourite was: “I used to think I wasn’t a theatre person, now I’ve seen cats, now I’m not sure I’m a movie person, either”
Private4160
"It'll flop so bad, we'll be rich!" - The producers of this film. They saw The Producers.
ShipsPassingintheNight
Actually it's been out 11 days, and has only managed a measly 38m USD at the worldwide box office. Considering the film cost 100m before 1/2
ShipsPassingintheNight
Marketing and Distribution expenses, (100m+) Universal is expecting a significant loss on this one.. who knew? 2/2
MissSpelledTattoo
#6 Review: Danté? Also invokes Bosch:
mormacil
Bosch is weird, on one hand the draws the weirdest shit, on the other he does some of the earliest portrets of commoners.
spidermenz
Please don't employee me, I'm kinda enjoying being between jobs right at the moment
SirAngusTheUnexpected
It is currently ranked 31 in IMDB's worst rated films but it's rating is continuing to fall
OhMyGodWhoTheHellCaaares
Fall or soar to the bottom?
SirAngusTheUnexpected
The key to cocking up properly is commitment
ascendeddanieljackson
I employee you to reconsider, we'll talk salary later
concorde77
Kliban
Son and I went yesterday, for a good laugh, as that was the anticipated outcome. Oddly, our response was just “meh”. Strange film though.
doubletrouble6
Same, same.
BusterH
BritishGingerLefty
Hmmmm, disturbing
wooliebooger
I didn’t notice the drum at first and thought the dude behind Him was just slapping the shit out of Tony the Tiger’s back fat
FireBreathingStockBroker
I'd rather watch this guy for 2 hours
spidermenz
Oh, meow!
Usernamegererator
Gopher1964
This... this is it.
MoreCoffee729
Best review of all!
KsuviKhor
Sound on:
dennydorko
Full clip for anybody wondering: https://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/amazing-alexander/n9457
Artieechan
Just saw it yesterday.. the main villain looks like a super hairy naked black guy with muscles once the coat comes off.
Escapist83
You mean Idris? He is a black guy with muscles.
dennydorko
mymomsaregay
The uncanny valley is real
Maraxus
The original Gateway Furry
AvsFreak
Or Bridget. https://img.fireden.net/co/image/1462/11/1462118796235.gif
Rodltwo
PopeyeTheSailor
that i was fine with, todays shit... naw
MissSpelledTattoo
deblou
Cats has succeeded in creating it's very own subgenre. Accidental horror.
shanlearael
I'm going to borrow this. Nicely said.
InoffensivePablum
Oh, man, I’d pay good money for Werner Herzog’s hot take on Cats.
TheRealDeal75
Oh man I just went back and read them all in his voice thank you
UltraHellboy
He would not be caught dead seeing this movie.
TheDayTheBrainStoodStill
Werner Herzog cares not for your puny human notions of 'decency'. He glares at the abyss each day. He will experience Cats, and overcome it.
Zottel89
And he will do it... with the most german accent you could possibly imagine.
Hatrax
Plot twist: "The asset" isn't Baby Yoda. It's the extended director's cut of Cats- the most terrible weapon to be unleashed upon the galaxy.
MrBismarck
It's cheaper to just take LSD and go to PetCo.
Taxonomyanomaly
I loved the musical, I’m afraid to see the film for fear that I’ll love it and have to defend it to everyone
JoshJitsu
If you loved the musical the movie will make you burn down a theater.
FritztheChef
As someone who loves the musical and saw the movie; don't worry, you won't have to defend it.
Tropicalmoon
I had to re-watch the musical after watching the movie in order to sooth my mind
1AMTHEBATMAN
Saw it. Is horrible. I highly recommend it to everyone who will listen though. You almost have to see it just to experience that nightmare
AImaginationBaroness
I love the stage musical. The movie is an atrocious insult to the stage musical.
yallmfsneedjesus
The musical sucked too. Not sure why people are suprised the movie is so bad.
Taxonomyanomaly
It ran for 18 years on broadway so it was pretty well loved.
yallmfsneedjesus
...especially during a live performance. Not so easy to do on film. Although LaLa Land seemed to pull it off. That movie was terrible.
yallmfsneedjesus
Because of the spectacle. And mostly the costumes. The music and story are stupid. It is easy to fool people with flashy costumes and dancin
doubletrouble6
It’s for sure a whackadoo thing but I loved it when I was little. Maybe that’s the target audience?
yallmfsneedjesus
Bingo. It was a spectacle. Doesnt translate onto film. The songs and story are dumb.
rivitingone
You misspelled flopped
MissSpelledTattoo
Whereas my username flops missSpells
userfriendly19777
I wish people would just come out and say it openly if they didn't like this movie.
JAFIOI
I can never think of Cats without thinking of Norm MacDonald.
neilwatkinsfromaccounting
And Dog Day Afternoon
JAFIOI
It's symbolic, right? Not like just a bunch of dogs sitting around in the afrernoon..
AJ2071
Bumped into some people who were taking the kids to see it (despite the bad reviews). They said dont - just dont.
ShipsPassingintheNight
This film will certainly put-down some movie careers.
darthtribble
https://www.thebroadwaybeat.com/post/cats-review-we-didn-t-see-it-but-we-did-take-military-grade-lsd-and-go-to-petco-so-here-s-that
ArtOzz
A part of me is thinking "It really cant be that bad", but another part is thinking "But what if the legends are true and its like The Ring?
HamaraCS
The only good thing is the music, but AWL is the one to thank for the music. As for the songs, many are badly interpreted, several are 1/2
HamaraCS
OK, only one is truly amazing. I was hoping reviews were exaggerated but they are not... CGI is bad and most "big actors" should not 2/3
HamaraCS
Have been casted. And franking cockroaches with human faces dancing!!! 3/3
StormheartKing
"Cats" is what the people who killed themselves in Bird Box saw.
CapableTrash
It was bizarre, but certainly entertaining. After you get used to the furries it's a'ight
ArtOzz
Thats how they getcha. First you Google yiff porn. Then you watch cats. Next thing you know youve impregnated your sister at a suit orgy.
BurgermeisterMeisterburger
That's how I felt about the Star Wars Holiday Special. I was wrong. I should have heeded the warnings. That said, I will probably rent Cats.
MikeAzuka
It truly is bad and not in a "well it could be so bad its good" way. Nothing redeemable at all. They couldn't even get the perspective (1/2)
MikeAzuka
right. In some screens they're clearly about 6" tall and on others they're closer to 3ft. Songs all sucked except one that was survivable
ArtOzz
Lol, thats hilarious.
ProphetOfTheOldOnes
So bad that even Sauron wouldn't want it anymore.
Ionami
I think they are talking about the movie "The Ring". Still fits though hahaha
RigoryMorty
I actually pirated the Disaster Movie. Nothing will ever suck as hard, ever.
RonnieKielbasa
This post was absolutely jellicle. Watch the Pitch Meeting on YouTube.
MastersonWalter
Yes!
TheFuckingCatalinaWineMixer21
I love his skits
Jackospade
thenetvines
Never understood why some people follow this pseudo-intellectual, and when I heard his girly voice for the first time, it all clicked.
mormacil
Wait he's an intellectual? Teenage me just loved how crude he was...
100PercentCertifiedHuman
Oh man, I thought Maddox was the shit twenty fucking years ago. I can't believe he's still around. No, literally, why is he still around?
BigUncleHeavy
Because male teenagers still exist.
100PercentCertifiedHuman
Considering my Maddox phase was from the ages of 18-23 or so... I must concede your point.
MissDeeMeanor
This just makes me want to see it even more.
xUnrealRealityx
Ah, a glutton for punishment, I see.
anyofmany
My Sister warched it- she didn‘t mind the shitty „costumes“ because real stage plays have way worse pretty abstract costumes as well
Thefluffernutter
How dare you. I would take the god awful costumes from stage cats over that cgi abomination any day of the week
azmyth1
You'd've been among the first to die in Birdbox.
TooFunkToDrunction
Speaking of terrible movies
yourFriendlyNeighborhoodBushSnake
Please I employee you.
FuckThatUsernameIsTaken
a Star wars movie just came out but i only care about CATS. what a sad feeling
wonfungi8206
Hey Billy come here and smell this, oh man it’s the worst. And of course we all want to smell it now
arkthan
we went to see it figuring we would enjoy the train wreck. Once you got your head around the costumes it wasnt too bad.
ArtOzz
I think people like us are part Lemming. Everyone warns us its nightmare fuel and we're like "OOO, I need to see that!".
LeMegachonk
Apparently not, since people are choosing NOT to see it in record numbers.
ArtOzz
Ah. So I am in fact not all "people" then.
xUnrealRealityx
Yeah, I was never interested in seeing it, and now that I hear what an abomination it is, my desire to see it has gone below zero
xUnrealRealityx
and into negative numbers.
namAehT
I saw it, it's fucking weird but not worth the watch. There's like literally no plot. Spoilers ahead.
Mechwarrior719
There’s no plot or there’s no “”plot””? Or both?
Alecchi
So just like the original
OneNeoEon
See i was wondering about that. I hear about how good the songs are all the time but no mention of the story.
namAehT
Cats sing for "a second chance" and are judged by an old cat. Idris Elba is evil because reasons? Nothing that happens matters. 1/2
namAehT
The main character does nothing except tie random scenes together. Pirate it when it comes to DVD if you want to watch it or wait for 2/3
hsiehXD
I'm guessing you never saw the musical. There was never a narrative. Just good music
namAehT
it to show up in the dollar movie bin in 3 months. 3/3
ifavouriteyourpets
Upvote this post: "Please I employee you."
sufferinsuccotash
Ha ha I was going to comment this
Rkfinecake
Not once but twice
IAmGmork
Yea. I was surprised. Their vocabulary isn’t bad, so I thought the first one was just a typo.
Smagalicious
#IDontWorkHereLady
Tnightwalk3r
lncorrectGrammerNazi
4 frames, ah ah ah
GdebMueller
Gotta hope it’s a bad autocorrect. But cats might have destroyed his ability to spell.
MelancholyGhost
Sauroctonus
"Are you offering me a job?"
MissSpelledTattoo
Zigor22
I’m looking for a tap and die and some WD-40
iwantsomemushu
Self imolate
ilikethingsthatchangecolour
Yes! I am no longer unemployed
attofreak
Wrote it twice, so couldn't be a typo either.
1crabby1
Im sorry we are no longer hiring..
ddfitzy
They barely survived 'cats' give them some leeway
ifavouriteyourpets
Do you.... EMPLOYEE ME TO?! :D ...
JackhossofWoodbridge
You're not my supervisor!
thyfartismurder
But im the cap2 sup!
MelancholyGhost
ConformistWithACause
neilwatkinsfromaccounting
Your supervisor says for you to shut up!
SirRonObvious
Vera said that?
crumblybutgood
imthebossofyou
Upvote this immediately
helmutk00hl
Yep, do upvote it with a +1
BurlapNutsack
Not a whole updoot tho, just the tip
Hellindium
Did the mean 'implore'?
muggybonehead
Is “the” halfway between “he” and “they”?
Hellindium
New phone different keypad, it's 'they'
ministryofpeace
Nah, he just employed you to do it. Wonder what your new hourly rate is?
banz111
And I'm sure he meant "rictus" not "rectus", though neither closely fit.
Hellindium
They"
Drunktrunkmonkey
He also meant immolate, but that's a typo
TheFastAndTheCurious
And 'rectum' instead of rectus, I think...
XenomorphZZ
That's what I was thinking.