Really wholesome and all that, but I do find myself somewhat concerned at security footage ending up online like this. Is this the new normal? Posting your home's security footage because it happened to be funny?
So many people have this weird innate need for there to be a Good Guy and a Bad Guy, and since the dad here seems like the Good Guy, it automatically means that the mum is the Bad Guy.
And yet, I've witnessed several amicable divorces, where two people simply realise that things aren't working out and that everyone'll be better off if they separate -- shared custody, kids live with either parent on a weekly rotation, no more arguing and a shitty mood at home, everyone's happy.
My parents split up, because the financial stress of losing everything while raising two young kids during the early 1990's recession just completely exhausted them both and they couldn't find the same feelings after the road got smoother again.
So they divorced. They're still extremely good friends, there were no custody battles (us kids picked where we spent our time) and we even spent a few Christmases together. Human relations are complicated, as you said!
Definitely a good dad, no idea about the custody the kids. I don't think anything indicates that the mom is not also a good parent, though. Lots of reasons people get divorced without one of the two being shitty.
While I'm not gonna tell people what to do, I don't like that some people do this (or install apps on mobile phones to track where kids and even spouses are at all times). Some people go so far as to install cameras in their kids' bedrooms. Everybody has need for some sense of sanctuary.
why do you look at it as spying on them? do you not watch over them, even when young? you dont have to install cameras in their bedrooms or bathrooms or hide them from the kids, but having them around can certainly be helpful.
if you are able to always be around when they are, or they are older/more responsible, great. tis why its CAN BE helpful, not everyone must have them everywhere at all times to constantly spy on them. weirdo.
Because it has been shown time and again that helicopter parenting like that is harmful to kids for all kinds of reasons, and it undermines the development of any trust between you and them. Kids, even young kids, need spaces for themselves - and they're going to find them. If you fill your home with cameras, you're just guaranteeing that the space they find won't be in your home. Cameras like that aren't helpful - they're harmful and selfish.
Gotta be able to take shots from your kids, without getting mad. It's an imperative for parents, because it allows kids to express themselves and work through things. Grace under fire. Makes life ao much easier.
There's a clear boundary between talking back, and expressing themselves. Unfortunately, the parents least qualified for the job are the ones most incapable of recognizing that boundary.
Not in the eyes of some parents, like mine. Their motto was that kids were to be seen, not heard, and their idea of "respect" was complete & utter obedience coupled with "treating me like I'm master & you're the labor slave." They *literally* told us a few times that the only reason they kept us was so they didn't have to do chores around the house & so they'd have someone to take care of them when they get old.
My point, exactly. No disrespect to your parents(and by extension, you), but that attitude is or should be a disqualifier to parenthood. Kids are not labor to be exploited. People argue against the nanny state frequently, with varying degrees of vindication, but this is a subject on which exploitation deserves far more scrutiny, and consequence.
You also have to be able to tell them they hurt your feelings. Not in a guilt trip way but in a "that was too far, I love you, I know you didn't mean it, but you need to know it was too far BECAUSE you didn't mean it"
But only in extreme cases. Suck it up and take it for minor bullshit.
Truth. And doing so helps them refine what they say, and understand how better to express themselves in a way that edges up to that line without crossing it.
It's actually quite the social skill. To perceive a situation, make a connection to something else relevant, deliver a line that's both concise and contextually understandable, and have the intended effect on the receiver is not something everyone can do.
Sounds strange but I believe commenting on posts on Imgur, seeing what people like or don’t like etc is a valid way to polish that skill. Not quite as effective as bantering with family or co-workers, but it definitely helps and there’s not many times my co-workers can toss me an insult that I can’t hit it right back at’em
I dunno, communication is communication, and like most skills, you get better at it with practice. Some people have more of a natural gift for it than others, but engaging with people, seeing what works and doesn't work, and then adjusting yourself... I think that's a lot of the human experience regardless of the medium it occurs in. The caveat to the whole thing being that if you hone your skills in an echo chamber, irl or online, you're going to find it difficult outside of that.
Imalwaysready
“No, the divorce was your fault, son.”
Ivain
Really wholesome and all that, but I do find myself somewhat concerned at security footage ending up online like this. Is this the new normal? Posting your home's security footage because it happened to be funny?
TheHappyHermit
"HAHAHAHA... you're out of the will."
bobgunrunnersmith
That there could have been an Everybody Loves Raymond punchline!
dripstone
teenage boy wondering around the kitchen looking for food...
CorgisButtsDriveMeNuts
BigBlueWonder
Why do people film themselves in their house?
JuffThePoint
is anyone else creeped out that everyone is okay with just always recording themselves 24/7 all the god damn time now a days? or just me?
WigsDannyboy
they seem fun
CountryGuyMike
Ya, that's a good dad. I hope he has full custody of the kids. Their mom must be one piece of work.
mocosoft
GimcrackGewgaw
Who hurt you and are you getting therapy about it? Seriously, you might want to think about working through some stuff.
VeganFeministFlatEarther
What a wild assumption to throw out without any context besides "they got divorced"
Cataleast
So many people have this weird innate need for there to be a Good Guy and a Bad Guy, and since the dad here seems like the Good Guy, it automatically means that the mum is the Bad Guy.
And yet, I've witnessed several amicable divorces, where two people simply realise that things aren't working out and that everyone'll be better off if they separate -- shared custody, kids live with either parent on a weekly rotation, no more arguing and a shitty mood at home, everyone's happy.
ElusiveThing
My parents split up, because the financial stress of losing everything while raising two young kids during the early 1990's recession just completely exhausted them both and they couldn't find the same feelings after the road got smoother again.
So they divorced. They're still extremely good friends, there were no custody battles (us kids picked where we spent our time) and we even spent a few Christmases together. Human relations are complicated, as you said!
sfrinlan
Definitely a good dad, no idea about the custody the kids. I don't think anything indicates that the mom is not also a good parent, though. Lots of reasons people get divorced without one of the two being shitty.
Atomic2
Dad handled it well.
mocosoft
Like a champ.
YeastInfectedWhiskerBiscuit
STOP INSTALLING CAMERAS IN YOUR HOME!
JuffThePoint
how else are you going to prep your kids for the police surveillance state we live in :P
kubi
I self host my camera security (MotionEye).
nelllybellly1
While I'm not gonna tell people what to do, I don't like that some people do this (or install apps on mobile phones to track where kids and even spouses are at all times). Some people go so far as to install cameras in their kids' bedrooms. Everybody has need for some sense of sanctuary.
NightOwlRally
*sad Panopticon noises*
Shinryus
Yup. If it can connect to the internet it's not secure.
kazeshi
my mum has dementia, cameras in the house help quite a lot, i imagine when you have kids it can be helpful too.
Imalwaysready
You imagine wrong. I have kids and I cannot imagine having cameras all over my house to constantly spy on them. That’s…just fucked up.
kazeshi
why do you look at it as spying on them? do you not watch over them, even when young? you dont have to install cameras in their bedrooms or bathrooms or hide them from the kids, but having them around can certainly be helpful.
if you are able to always be around when they are, or they are older/more responsible, great. tis why its CAN BE helpful, not everyone must have them everywhere at all times to constantly spy on them. weirdo.
Einbrecher
Because it has been shown time and again that helicopter parenting like that is harmful to kids for all kinds of reasons, and it undermines the development of any trust between you and them. Kids, even young kids, need spaces for themselves - and they're going to find them. If you fill your home with cameras, you're just guaranteeing that the space they find won't be in your home. Cameras like that aren't helpful - they're harmful and selfish.
fenomas
damn that kid's left leg is enormous
FredGarvinMaleProstitute
ChiLLeCheeze
Joe "Baby Hands" Piezano and Mitch "Adult Hands" Piezano. Two of the deadliest duos this side of the world.
fractalsphere
Love is love, but CHEATING IS CHEATING.
Heavenissize17socks
Cheating is just God's way of spreading gonorrhea.
irisewithredeyes
Well, the dad has the kids. And he seems to be in a very good relationship with them, so...
fractalsphere
Yup
ojisama
So we don't know if next week the mother has the kids and has very good relationship with them. Just saying.
cheeriossuckbecause7
Gotta be able to take shots from your kids, without getting mad. It's an imperative for parents, because it allows kids to express themselves and work through things. Grace under fire. Makes life ao much easier.
JimmyWalkerTexasRanger
https://media1.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1MW54cWdhYmo0MWVmemtmOTcyeDFhcDMyaHBnaTYxZGNzNmVkeXJvaiZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/dXFKDUolyLLi8gq6Cl/200w.webp
scrumbles666
It also models good behavior- responding positively to a joke made at your expense rather than treating it like an attack on your person/authority.
ChiLLeCheeze
Some parents: But how do you get them to respect you if you don't beat the shit out of them for talking back?
cheeriossuckbecause7
There's a clear boundary between talking back, and expressing themselves. Unfortunately, the parents least qualified for the job are the ones most incapable of recognizing that boundary.
Madara1389
Not in the eyes of some parents, like mine. Their motto was that kids were to be seen, not heard, and their idea of "respect" was complete & utter obedience coupled with "treating me like I'm master & you're the labor slave." They *literally* told us a few times that the only reason they kept us was so they didn't have to do chores around the house & so they'd have someone to take care of them when they get old.
cheeriossuckbecause7
My point, exactly. No disrespect to your parents(and by extension, you), but that attitude is or should be a disqualifier to parenthood. Kids are not labor to be exploited. People argue against the nanny state frequently, with varying degrees of vindication, but this is a subject on which exploitation deserves far more scrutiny, and consequence.
Aranon1183
But, also, that was just flawless timing on the son's end!
Lampmonster
"Parents are the bone on which children cut their teeth."
Artoris
My kids don't get in trouble if it is funny.
Bobbobbobobbananafanafobob
You also have to be able to tell them they hurt your feelings. Not in a guilt trip way but in a "that was too far, I love you, I know you didn't mean it, but you need to know it was too far BECAUSE you didn't mean it"
But only in extreme cases. Suck it up and take it for minor bullshit.
cheeriossuckbecause7
Truth. And doing so helps them refine what they say, and understand how better to express themselves in a way that edges up to that line without crossing it.
LiillooDallasMultipass
Absolutely, I fucking love when my teens deliver an expert level burn!
cheeriossuckbecause7
Right?! That barbed, jagged auto-response they deliver ia the best!
sfrinlan
It's actually quite the social skill. To perceive a situation, make a connection to something else relevant, deliver a line that's both concise and contextually understandable, and have the intended effect on the receiver is not something everyone can do.
Quizz25S
Sounds strange but I believe commenting on posts on Imgur, seeing what people like or don’t like etc is a valid way to polish that skill. Not quite as effective as bantering with family or co-workers, but it definitely helps and there’s not many times my co-workers can toss me an insult that I can’t hit it right back at’em
sfrinlan
I dunno, communication is communication, and like most skills, you get better at it with practice. Some people have more of a natural gift for it than others, but engaging with people, seeing what works and doesn't work, and then adjusting yourself... I think that's a lot of the human experience regardless of the medium it occurs in. The caveat to the whole thing being that if you hone your skills in an echo chamber, irl or online, you're going to find it difficult outside of that.