sufferinsuccotash
115338
1732
107
I assumed I was perimenopausal - nope. Now she's the size of a banana (for scale) figured you all would appreciate that
I never ever thought I would have children and each and every day of this I wake up shocked. I hope I can do right by her. I guess my post is to remind those out there in their 30s thinking it's already too late, like I did, that it is not. I spent years convinced I was already past that point. Convinced myself I was ok with never having children and just being the cool aunt.
Then ...oops!
MeticulouslyCareless
You go, girl! Bake that creampie!
GammaSpace
Thank you for this! I get so worried having a child closer to 40 but I just wasn’t ready yet! Now I am, so we are trying! Good luck to you! 💜
InvalidUsername6
Try to adopt? Getting pregnant around 40 is way more risky for the child and there are so msny children that need a loving family.
nanyatenyaa
Wait people think 30s are too late? I didn't have my shit together enough to care for a child in my 20s. Would had been like the blind leading the blind down a hall wall full of shards of glass. I think 30s are just right.
Asmallpointinspace
30s definitely seem like a sweet spot. Going into 40s dramatically increases risks of birth defects is all but that's all up to the wants and needs of the family
taqPCR
Even just 35 it starts increasing pretty quickly. Optimal female fertility is around age 25 for lowest rates of birth defects and highest chance of pregnancy.
satanscott
I could never. I want to be retired at 60 no paying for college.
KAPTKipper
My aunt was a mother are 49, yeah surprise!
Fattbeard
pomax
On the one hand, congrats. On the other: it's not that you can't have a child, it's that biology tends to put a stop to it before things go too wrong, as your egg cells are literally as old as you are. They've had 40 years to develop defects, so get the pregnancy checked sooner rather than later, just in case.
Shadowhawk000095
Traquaire
First at 39, 2nd at 42. My wife has a friend that recently had twins at 45 to go with their other 3. Oops.
jfitz
pergnate? pregantè! gregnant…
BadPunsAplenty
Congrats! We stupidly assumed the same, and well, I have three kids. All the fun is in makin' 'em!
fbutt09
Jizz of joy
NeverConfusedForNaught
hatethisbit
Triplets or were you just slow to realise?
BadPunsAplenty
I'm just stupid and listen to my dick too often.
azarza
DarkZalgo
Not for everyone unfortunately. Infertility issues have a unique way of draining all the enjoyment out of sexual activities.
BadPunsAplenty
I hear you. Sorry if my post was glib. We struggled for years to get pregnant, multiple miscarriages (Florida and Texas would have condemned us to hang, I guess) which added to the surprise element of the 3rd.
DarkZalgo
Don't worry about it my dude, I know it was in good taste. But if I may ask, was there anything that you found that helped the situation one way or another? Or did it just sort of eventually happen?
BadPunsAplenty
Well, getting checked out to ensure we both COULD make it happen helped us to know it was just chance that it hadn't happened. Then we did IVF which surely helped with kids 1and 2. We were impatient. But looking back, it likely would have happened anyway, as. Kid 3 attests to.
CatsMakeMeSick
I was a dad at 38 and 40 (different for the woman, I know) and it has been my life's greatest accomplishment. Enjoy every moment because it really does fly by. (cliche, i know). Good luck and have fun!
OnlyByMoonlight
My cousin just had a baby at 43. It happens more often than people think
Ilikestyx
Enjoy your geriatric pregnancy!
PlayingNiceForOnce
Sorry-grats…?
PrfctDrk
At 40 you're not too old, there's just higher chance for deformations/diseases/weakened immune system
k98aj01
Yay! Welcome to the geriatric pregnancy family. It’s not a pretty term, but we are a group who is alway there for each other. Thinking awesome thoughts for you.
nicky512
Yeah, my wife would get this look on her face every time someone in the hospital called her geriatric. Haha.
k98aj01
I am considered elderly multigravida because I’ve had two over 35. I just shake my head and smile…and the roll my eyes.
Asmallpointinspace
Why? That's an accurate medical description
k98aj01
It is! But, it also places undue stress on women who are already, well stressed. I know many people who felt extra stress as at every appointment as the doctors and nurses harped on it. These women thought they were going to miscarry at any moment and couldn’t enjoy being pregnant. It’s hard to be rational about terms when every pain you feel makes you think your old ass is going to lose the baby you so sorely wanted.
TheZeldaZone
It's "advanced maternal age" now. Wild now low it officially starts (35!) but people were used to blasting 'em out before drinking age I guess.
k98aj01
I’ve been called that as well. It all depended on the nurse on staff that day. I know people who had kids at 49, but my sister had already gone through menopause at 40 so it’s just weird to just say, hey at 35 you old!
Goldenteckel
As someone who might just end being the cool uncle, hats off to you ! Best wishes, from Paris, to your loved ones and yourself.
ThePunishersVengefulBrother
I became a father at 40. Good luck.
RancidOrange
Congratulations! What great news!
vakler
As a fun auntie, good luck! Getting a new IUD installed in a few weeks for another 5+ years, will think of you. :)
blainetog
My wife is 37 and we're having our first soon as well. Good luck! You got this!
dudehiemer
Remember kids: Support education, especially basic human biology education.
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
Yes, I can't believe how many people think this. Before BC, it was common for women to have kids into their 40s. Both my grandmas did.
dreikommavierzehn
you have some old af grandmas
toddthewraith
my mom had both my brother and i after she was 40 even.
SnowTimeLikeNow
BC = birth control
Theory89
My dumbass first thought was "what came before Before Christ?!"
kittyfajitas
My dad was born when my grandmother was 40. That was in 1949.
OaksParcel
For real, I'm not sure how anyone, especially a woman, can think it's impossible to have a baby at 40.
Bugkeeper
Continuous bombardment with scaremongering bullshit about regret and clocks ticking and risks, instead of proper prenatal care & information on bodies ┐( ∵ )┌ Women are apparently supposed to become moms as early as possible; "why" is up for debate ...
gabador
I mean....if you have menopause symptoms, you might think you've hit menopause...
Heninthefoxden
Yeah but according to my obgyn, if you are having periods, you are ovulating.
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
You might think that, but if you do, it's because you're uneducated about it. And I'm not blaming individual women - it's extremely fucked up how little menopause is explained to women. You have to basically figure it all out yourself. It's not really touched on in sex ed in school, and there's no other way to learn it except taking your own initiative and reading up on it yourself. And the problem with that women don't necessarily *know* what they don't know so they don't realize they need /1
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
to educate themselves on it. It should be a public health initiative. Because if you are having "menopause symptoms", you might not actually go through menopause for 10 more years. And could get pregnant through all that time. It's called peri-menopause and it last for years. /2
vaginapower
Might have something to do with constantly being told our eggs are dying and we are virtually sterile after 35. Doctors even call it geriatric pregnancy ffs
taqPCR
Because it is. The fertility rate drops with age and the fastest drop is around 35-40 and the rate of chromosomal abnormalities increases hugely starting at 35
Asmallpointinspace
The risks are all different, completely warranting a different classification. Geratric is a good word for it, though advanced maternal age is becoming more common. Nothing wrong with that. Eggs are not just dying they are mutating over time, that's just facts but you can get pregnant as long as you are ovulating it just becomes more difficult, especially to reach birth, as the miscarriage rate increases dramatically
l8rrose
The fact that you're already concerned if you can do right by her is already proof that you will. Grats on the bebe!
Pilgrymm
Congrats! We are in the same boat, me and my wife had already grieved being unable to have kids and now at 42 she's 6 months preg. What a crazy world amirite!
Misora
Became a first time mom at 42 this March. We'd previously been told it would take expensive medical intervention to have children. Surprise! Dr says I'm nowhere near her oldest and we can even have a 2nd if we want. Told us sometimes things just start working on their own.
DarkZalgo
Well that's definitely good to hear, me and my wife have been going on about a year and a half now with no success. And all while being surrounded with pregnant family members.
Misora
*hugs* It's rough. Seriously may the odds be ever in your favor. When we stopped trying we decided we'd just be ok as the cool aunt/uncle. But we're really glad it worked out even if we are both older parents now.
Thornaxe
Natural pregnancy at 42? Grats. That’s like hitting the lottery.
blainetog
It's really not. There are some difficulties but fertility doesn't drop nearly as much as the media would have you believe.
Thornaxe
SART statistics say you’re full of it.
blainetog
At 40, you have about a 44% chance of becoming pregnant naturally in a given year. That *is* a significant drop from your mid-late 30s when it's low 80s, but it's not, "hit the lottery," numbers. That's all I'm saying.
Thornaxe
If you go further you’ll see that there’s as big a drop from 40 to 42 as there was from 30s to 40. The downhill slide starts at 35, picks up steam about 38 and past 40 it’s abject free fall.
howwouldyoudescribeyourself
I found the opposite to be true. Ppl/media act like it's entirely normal to delay family building well into your thirties. Then you realize it's not as easy as you were made to believe ...
blainetog
Fertility is complicated and individuals can have difficulties at any age. On average, however, fertility doesn't tend to drop that much for people in their 30s. 40s is another story, but even then it isn't, "win the lottery," numbers. More like a reduction by half. Very significant, yes, but not one in a million.
howwouldyoudescribeyourself
And still it's disheartening and possibly quite a strain on a relationship to be trying for 6mo+, let alone years
Misora
Seconding this. Know a couple that started trying in their 20s and gave up after over a decade of treatment. I tried for 2 years and gave up (I have a history of PCOS so knew it would be an issue). I had a surprise successful pregnancy at 42. There are a couple of women at my work who had oops babies in their 40s. Fertility is just weird.
Pilgrymm
It really is! We've been told for years that it was impossible. One surgery was all it took.
Thornaxe
What kind of surgery?
Pilgrymm
Endometriosis scar tissue removal via laproscopy.
Thornaxe
Oof. Endometriosis SUCKS.
howwouldyoudescribeyourself
I'm so so happy for you and wish you all the best. I found having children to be the greatest gift I've ever received, and I've never been as happy in my life as I am now as a mum. Hug your wife extratight and BE HAPPY, you're in for the greatest ride life has to offer!
Pilgrymm
Thank you, I will be hugging her every day for the rest of our lives! We are so excited!
howwouldyoudescribeyourself
Sounds perfect! I'm happy for you two <3
Thesaya
So, are you happy or not? Because your colour use suggest that you are not, but your description sounds like you are...
sufferinsuccotash
When I say the range of emotions bounces back and forth from happy to scared to shock to terrified to elated....the meme use it probably accurate but also. Pregnancy brain and I just used the wrong one I'm happy overall.
colfish
In that case, be careful and on the watch for body dysmorphia. Shit hits hard as you get bigger.
fannyshmeller
Then congrats! It’s easier than I thought it’d be, but then again I was terrified
TheCaptain00
Good luck! Better luck for the early teens in your late fifties, best of luck for a full on sassy woman in your seventies! :) Hope she's as cool as you.
PrincessWendyB
Congratulations, Mom.
MorrighanWolf
congratulations!
Splitlicker
Yeah happened to my mother-in-law. Was told by Dr after her second child she could not have more. 18 years later, oops. The oldest & youngest are about 30 years apart. She was in her 40s when she got pregnant.
marthafarquar
That was the story with one of my flat mates until one night we were watching a documentary about Jack Nicholson and he realised, like Jack, it was far more likely that he was actually the son of the person he always thought was his elder sister. He got a job in London soon after and I never found out if it was true.
marthafarquar
Its not an isolated case. At age 32 singer and actor Bobby Darin was a friend of Robert F. Kennedy and was considering a political career until his sister told him it was impossible as she was actually his mother. The shock of finding out coupled with the trauma of being at the Ambassador Hotel when Kennedy was assassinated caused him to spend most of the next year living in seclusion in a trailer near Big Sur.
NonExistingWisper
Wow! Wait, how old was she when the Dr told her that?
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
They used to tell women that if they had other issues. One of my grandmas had two miscarriages and a stillbirth, and was told she'd never had kids. She ended up with 5. There's also a thing, secondary infertility, where a woman has one kid and then is never able to have more. So when there was less medical knowledge, they would assume that after a miscarriage or two. I'm guessing it's something along those lines.
NonExistingWisper
Yes, very true. Gotta hand it to the cruelty of a functioning uterus. You might menstruate, but that doesn't mean you're still ejecting eggs...
Splitlicker
Honestly don't remember. I met my wife at 18. Her mom got pregnant in the same year. My wife's older brother was 9 years older than her. It was after my wife was born my mil was told she couldn't have more kids.
NonExistingWisper
So he told her that in her 20s, something like that? That's a bit quick!
Splitlicker
Probably but to be fair it did take 18 years before it happened. I have no idea of the medical reasoning behind telling her but you also have to realize this was in the 1950's when she was told.
NonExistingWisper
Ah! Good point (sorry got dragged into a documentary).
AlmostHappy
I math it like: 16 for first kid, 18 for second, 46 for third.
NonExistingWisper
Ruddy heck, being told you can't have any more kids at 18 is quick the punch to the gut...
Splitlicker
That's probably real close b/c her first child was by a different husband & I know she was real young & "had" to get married b/c of the pregnancy.
Someshithead241
The "biological clock" thing is total bullshit, for those who don't know. Its just a thing people say to guilt women into having babies instead spending time on themselves.
InvalidUsername6
Risks do get higher and fertility drops. That's just medical facts.
beeeeeeerkaaaaa
35 is a geriatric pregnancy.
howwouldyoudescribeyourself
I find it difficult if we let women believe age doesn't matter, build a carreer, travel, see the world ... then we do all those things, and when we're ready to start a family, turns out it's not that easy. That can be a really rude awakening. I'd rather know in time so I can set my priorities accordingly.
beeeeeeerkaaaaa
35 is a geriatric pregnancy.
Someshithead241
There are many ways to start a family other than popping one out yourself
howwouldyoudescribeyourself
Yes there absolutely are. But should one happen to want to "pop one out", it's just a biological fact that it'll be easier before say 35
7punto34
Easier and less risky.
7punto34
I still waited till I was 38, it's good to have the knowledge but I still delayed because life is complex :)
beeeeeeerkaaaaa
Which are infinitely more difficult. You're swimming upstream on this one.
beeeeeeerkaaaaa
Menopause is real.
CaptainMendez
Menopause is real, yes. But there IS a very strong misinformation issue regarding fertility and age before that point. It DOES get harder, but depending on your doctor you can get told it's impossible to naturally conceive after like 32, based on nothing. There is real medical pressure to have babies as early as possible, whether you want to or not, like how licensed doctors often require patients to be married/have a child/husband give permission for medically required procedures/birth control.
Someshithead241
Menopause isn't what I'm talking about.
beeeeeeerkaaaaa
That'd be the clock in question. Some clocks are longer, some shorter.
Someshithead241
It's not. People say that it's just more difficult to have kids when you get older, not meaning menopause, and that you should just have kids young to make sure because what else can you do without kids?
beeeeeeerkaaaaa
Pregnancy gets exceedingly dangerous as women age. That's why you shouldn't work so hard against nature. But you do what you want with your uterus.
RedTailedHawk
Let us name the baby! I'm sure little Usersub will go far in life.
JaimeLannistersRightHand
Southern Naked Skinny Boi
Iamyouinanotherlife
Baby McBabyFace
ctrlshiftkill009
Edward Macaroni Fork, get over here!
windedsloth
Astro Naught
ElbowDeepInAJedi
I can't wait to meet baby @Lassannn.
Lassannn
ElbowDeepInAJedi
goflyblind
aww, richard posterior is such a good kid.
tizme
Dickbutt Bananaforecale! Would be loved by many on here, and others would be delighted by such a unique name. I give myself a +1. Also, congrats @OP I’m sure you will be a fantastic parent. Just love, support and lots of hugs. All the best xx
Alzeido
Name it something like "Mmmmm" that way nobody can ever yell its name, nomatter how bad its being.
ministryofpeace
Little Mirum will continue to surprise the world
lapus
Free pizza dude ftw
genericgelatine
First name: Sue, Last name: Urbs
AnneMakesMistakes
Hugh Mann is an
4554073
Cletus VanDamme. Works for a boy or girl!
Deleteded
Do you honestly think there's any chance that it wouldn't end up being Baby McBabyface.
Zetor
Little Phone Clearing Dump
69thStPepper
How dare you call Betty White Jr by such atrocities!
One8updude
Surprise Mcsurprisington
SwankyPotato
Dianne McDiaperface
NotaCPA
How dare you call Double Mclovin' such terrible things!
MindRape
You think that's going to beat out "Adolf Hitler baby for friendship and tolerance"?
Obijesus
I still call my newphew "the baby"
Lokify
How old is he now? 23?
sufferinsuccotash
Hah ha ha ha I'm actually tempted to let you guys do the middle name. That could be funny
Wasnbo
. No no, that's the name. . It'll probably fuck with auto-generated use IDs, so that's always funny.
Raeilgunne
Reginald! if it's a girl!
dentista320
Nope, everyone knows it is *Chandler* for a girl.
JustUsLeagueUnlimited
Something exotic like Coriander, saffron, or Chimichanga (Chimichango if it's a boy). And Donkey Teeth works for a girl or a boy
amoeba15
I think you’d enjoy Absolutely Fabulous if you don’t already. The daughter’s named Saffron
Heisanevilgenius
Murderboner
GridNoDC
"Novitas" latin for surprise or timeliness.
IrTeknician
Krognar the destroyer
uplookdont
[First name] not [Last name]
MorrighanWolf
Saoirse, irish for freedom.
anitabieror6
Megatron
BisAndThighHighs
"Middle Name"
WilliamKeith
Nana. It's a perfectly good name and that way she'll always be the size of a Nana.
kenny2999
Gurr. It works with many nice first names like Nicholas or Amy.
TheMadRohirrim
[Deleted]
metalrulercid
I mean... You have the chance to name him "little succo", you can call him susu
FartingWiener
Hamburger. Make sure they go vegan as well
nomorehate
Gorf.
fudruckers
Danger.
Rubblebubble
DOOOOOO ITTTTT little Suzie* "The DOMINATOR" succotash
black3beard
Stormageddon - The Doctor.
porcinechoirmaster
I taught kids who were named by their elder siblings. Miles Rocko and Valentine Racecar.
DaDefenestrator
Batmo
AerospaceNinja
Do a family guy and name them Megatron and call them Meg for short
traumapatient
Ozymandias- king of kings - look on my works ye mighty and despair
Notyourfatherswookie
Danger. nuff said
notdante42
Sagittarius
NotaCPA
McLovin
tentacularfleshscape
Seven
gft8gd5khn101
Superstar would be a nice middle name
lostinthoughts
You could get some suggestions and let us vote on them. I'm all for Puck - gender-neutral and full of mischief
CJAW
Isaac would be fitting
AsAHistorian
Good heavens for that innocent child's sake, do not let us psychos decide anything for her!
TheFunionKnight
All these people offering elvish middle names, how about a dwarvish one Glod one of the hundreds of dwarfish words for gold we have in the ramtops mountains
carcarodon
GNU Sir Terry
admiralawesome4213
Imgurianne
genericgelatine
That’s a beautiful name
Drix1942
Elessar. Tolkien Elvish (Quenya) for Elfstone. Gender neutral and ethereal. :)
Waaaaghhumbug
[Redacted]
Krytture
Deleted
Deleteded
[deleteded]
MarredWoodWithNails
That would be hilarious. Mess with everyone who needs to see the name on paper or ID. I bet there would be questions at the airport, though, which might be irritating.
Mynamedoesntmatteronlylifematters
The [ ]'s are a must. They would screw with soooo many systems.
UnBobaLievable
Barbie Oppenheimer would be a great first and middle combo.
OnlyOneArman
As opposed to Oppenheimer Barbie which... Isn't.
jethroismaxbaer5772
Starscream is a pretty awesome name. So was Miles Mayhem.
munkis
Airwolf is also good
FallingStar7669
Endessë. Elvish for "Middle-name".
16bitStarbuck
So their middle name would be "middle name." Yeah...
boringpigeon
Damn. Perfect.
TheDarkNye
@op this is actually good, funny and sounds legit!
Artebudz
Im definitely stealing this idea in the extremely unlikely event that i have a child
khety1890
Baby McBabyface.
WolfOfLight
[baby's name] Mc [Last Name]
wherethehorriblethingsare
Megatron
albaboss
Call her Meg for short!
Justinprking
I once matched with a girl on tinder who wanted to name our future baby megatron but I unmatched her because I thought she was a bot. :(
darthstormer
I mean, if you're taking suggestions, Darthstormer is a proud and noble name, and it would work for a boy or a girl.
drbloodbathmc
I’m partial to bloodbath. No one will mess with the them.