HipReplacementFanatic
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Ain't no party like a Steven Colbert party!
Aug 19, 2017 1:18 AM
HipReplacementFanatic
88426
1700
148
Ain't no party like a Steven Colbert party!
CornwindEvil
I have a feeling that if Jesus returned today, at least 50 percent of the so-called religious would deny him to his face, just like Peter.
Scaper1812
Supposing this is all true. Why are there still Hebrews then?
pharoahjared
Colbert is being disingenuous. Jesus gave a long speech on how marriage is a institution founded by God and is heterosexual and monogamous
ReasonableConservative
Sauce: "For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; and the two shall be one flesh."
TannerBFly
And the Apostle Paul totally doesn't talk about homosexuality in his letter to Roman about proper Christian living
ReasonableConservative
Sauce: "Men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that penalty of their error which was fitting." Rom1:27
rusty6899
Has anyone really been far as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
UrbanGhost
It's almost like a council at MEN choseen from several writings decades after something MAY have happened to control a population
ReasonableConservative
Men should be so controlled by God's Spirit.
KrazieMenace
I remember a time when Adults told kids' "Don't believe everything you read."
theBlueFour
I would like to point out that following the old law in itself doesn't invalidate Jesus' sacrifice.
Azzreal69
The Egg. Better than any bible or religion and makes more sense. Be excellent to each other.
Jellybeanboom
To quote Jim Gaffigan "well, I'm glad you read a book".
linksavestheday
You mean Patton Oswald, who then goes on to compare wanting a green lantern ring and being justifiably tased. Great comedy!
MeanWinchester
just being devil's advocate here, but Jesus himself said "i did not come to replace the law, but to fulfill it" so the laws are still valid
disinformatique
Not the same laws Felicia.
MeanWinchester
Really, enlighten my uneducated mind as to which laws he was referring to if not the ones given to Moses for 'gods people'
ragekritz
Or its all made up and the points dont matter welcome to whose line is it anyway with jesus christ
ReasonableConservative
Valid to the Jews, who are bound to every inch of it, (though none keep it perfectly.) Not the hearers but the DOERS are justified.
Xynatox
Yeah nevermind the fact that Paul rants about homosexuality, and is the one who wrote a majority of the New Testament books.
KinkyAsFuck
But homosexuality is mentioned in the new testament
snakeoilsalesman
By J-Dog?
ReasonableConservative
"Men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet." Rom1:27
smooshiebanana
Yeah, I think the original poster of this thing needed to read a bit more of his own bible.
smooshiebanana
While Jesus may not have specifically said it himself, it was inspired by God to mention, and therefore valid through Paul's words.
Croso
Yeah I remember if a man lays with another man it's an abomination or something being in the New testament
kojenk
mistranslation and original context of the source material.
McKavian
And also not by Jesus.
kojenk
and that yes.
Wolfradimus
If I recall correctly abomination meant unclean when it was first translated. That part was basically saying butt sex gives you diseases.
Croso
Thanks for the info! Did not know that, I don't do the greek
Dkw3
When you realize you could have kept your foreskin, but it was lost the second you were born... :_(
noneweregiven
What about the ten commandments, though. Weren't they in the Old Testament?
Flareside
Bible is like terms and conditions.most just accept them without reading them
plebianmaximus
The bible is for stupid people.
Flareside
People who cannot allow other to believe as they choose are the real stupid people.
plebianmaximus
I allow you, and I allow myself having the right to call you stupid :).
Flareside
hey now I represent that comment
TestSubject149
http://imgur.com/A9K4boV
AeonQuasars
The Bible is like toilet paper. The only thing it do is to help shitty people once in a while.
Flareside
I know plenty of good people that believe in it.
brknsoul
I've always imagined that the male-female-only rule was to ensure population of the Earth.
bradleylibralesso11
Ironically ignoring the part of Christianity that allowed it to become so popular.
UnicornofPeril
I was raised Catholic and turned out gay. Always funny which passages people pick and choose to follow. Also how things are interpreted. 1/2
UnicornofPeril
A good example: Your body is a temple! Read as: Be healthy. In reality: Tattoos and intentional scars are sacrilegious graffiti.
ReasonableConservative
Sauce: "If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him. For God’s temple is holy, and you are that temple."
judgemasterven
Then god is an asshole, since his temples destroy themselves over time.
ReasonableConservative
"And God gave them over..."
wildsoapbox
brodiwankenobi
I favorite this post just for this comment
Sharklaserspewpew
Figs are yummy Jesus. Figs are yummy, Jesus...
cptwott
Here. Have some wine, Jesus.
apercent
It's funny because he actually does hate fig trees https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cursing_the_fig_tree
lordfluffy
That one tree in specific, and because it had no figs for him, meaning he liked them. 1/2 my fave gospel stories.
Vatas
"But it's not season for figs!" "You see it lacks breba, meaning it won't produce any fruit the next season." "Okay, go ahead then."
ReasonableConservative
Yes. Become a Christian. Do whatever you want. Such a change.
DavelyGrave
Colbert did such a great job of improving the quality of political discourse. Or the opposite, I forget.
Imadethisaccounttopost
Wouldn't that also invalidate the 10 commandments, since they were part of the Old Testament, but people still throw it in other's faces.
noblespaceplatypus
the bible also mentions how much god hates shellfish like 8 times, where he only mentions homosexuality twice.
JaimeLannistersRightHand
Well, maybe he once had, like, really bad seafood and grew to hate it...
TheMightyMoto
You do not deserve delicious shellfish due to original sin.
noblespaceplatypus
what if I put cocktail sauce on it to punish myself?
TheMightyMoto
No idea.
happiergnome
As a shellfish, God had a point. You lot are ruining the ocean and environment with your over fishing. That extends to my kind too. Assholes
noblespaceplatypus
you're a gnome!
alpacasaurusrex
I always took it as "don't be gay thinking that will get you kids. Have kids but go ahead and be gay cause having kids is very important.
alpacasaurusrex
K thx bai. Also don't be a douche. And be nice."
Jupman
A sorceress shall be put to death!
IThinkYouGotAFineBrainJack
He's right though? All the world's woes are due to Man's shellfish behaviour.
GodEmperor0fMankind
I see what you did. And I hate you for it.
sproutimusad
I see what you did there
arranrp
shrimp are pretty fucking evil
zFUBARz
god damn "Vein"
IlIllllIlI
Those shrimp would eat your fuckin family if you let them
TheMouseOfMadness
And unicorns more than that
noblespaceplatypus
don't forget the dragons
FinnTheGreat
So christians dont have to follow any of the rules... Makes sense
ReasonableConservative
Real Christians have the law of God written on their hearts, so they can please God with faithful living. We "get" to do the rules.
NicoretteJunkie
If you could argue logic and reason with religious people, there wouldn't be any more religious people.
Angylika
Modern Big Bang Theory? Catholic Priest.
sprbwlshuffler
Well that's just mean spirited.
IMoveWithTheEleganceOfAnAfricanElephant
Colbert is a religious person who believes because he chooses to, more or less. I don't fault that. There are logical theists.
BenShapiroForPresident
Dr. William Lane Craig, Dr. John Sarfati, Isaac Newton... This list could go on for a long time.
Croso
Just being a devil's advocate but he didnt say anything about rape, bestiality, or pedophilia either, but I don't think we should assume.
kojenk
one involves consenting adults and the others do NOT... so the equivalence is as relevant as reading the bible for airplanes and plastic.
MRSADFACE
Leviticus 18:23 (bestiality) Leviticus 18:6 (incest) and Genesis 34 1-31 (a story against rape)
MRSADFACE
nothing about pedophilia but theres more general verses against alot of sexual acts.
Croso
Jesus is what I was referring to
judgemasterven
Um. The origin of man is LITERALLY INCEST. According to your bible. Twice. And rape is approved in the bible as well!
MRSADFACE
it's believed prior to the tower of Babel there would be no issues genetically with incest.
judgemasterven
Another impossibility
MasterDefenestrator
Here's my stance as a Christian; if being gay is not a sin, it's not a problem, we shouldnt care. If it IS a sin, then it is equal to...
MasterDefenestrator
...every other sin each of us has committed, and since we should not judge lest we be judged, we shouldn't care. It literally doesnt matter.
MRSADFACE
the fear is that it's believed that it corrupts nations, as leviticus 18:24 states.
MRSADFACE
"Do not defile yourselves by any of these things; for by all these the nations which I am casting out before you have become defiled"
MRSADFACE
leviticus 18:22-30 talks about homosexuality.
kojenk
except its a vast mistranslation and the original context is entirely departed. Even in context, it would be irrelevant 1/2
ReasonableConservative
But if you've judged someone, and then done the same, "your judgement remains."
TheMightyMoto
Interesting read, sounds legit from what I know about the bible and all, which is frankly lacking in many areas.
GrrrGiraffe
Leviticus was written specifically for the followers of the tribe of Levi. Which not all Jews were and not all Christians were (2)
poultice
The new testament isn't only the gospel. Homosexuality is repudiated in the letters.
GrrrGiraffe
Eh, it's partially sound, but the final conclusion isn't really. The Bible says that Jesus didn't come to abolish the old laws. However, (1)
GrrrGiraffe
Except for ones specifically abolished.
UrKungFuNoGood
but it is generally accepted that the one and only requirement to get into Heaven is to accept Christ as your savior.
GrrrGiraffe
That is true, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't continually attempt to read the scriptures as they were intended so we can live our (1)
GrrrGiraffe
lives in a way that glorifies God. (2)
GrrrGiraffe
descendants of Jews from the tribe of Levi. (3)
TheMightyMoto
Interesting, I did not know that about Leviticus.
GrrrGiraffe
Yeah. I'm not sure how much of Leviticus was applied widely throughout the Jewish community in Ancient times. But it was for the tribe (1)
GrrrGiraffe
in a more wide spread way or if they apply to a specific church and apply to situations going on in those churches. (3)
GrrrGiraffe
of Levi. Similar situations appear in the New Testament with Paul's writings where there are debates about whether the epistles apply (2)
MRNate
I don't generally argue against homosexuality from Leviticus. The sin lists Corinthians 6:9 or 1 Timothy 1:10 are easier to teach from.
MistaJinxy
You can't argue against homosexuality from either of those verses either. It's a false translation, hence not every version saying it.
sprbwlshuffler
Tee hee. 6 9.
IMoveWithTheEleganceOfAnAfricanElephant
Lesbian potheads who commit libel are in the clear though! C'mon, God, why does my drunk, slandering ass have to burn for eternity?
MRNate
Generally, sin lists contain examples, not every possible sin.
IMoveWithTheEleganceOfAnAfricanElephant
Seems rude not to lay bare every possible sin. God's omnipotent. Why give us a guesstimate as how to behave? Our souls are on the line.
MRNate
Admitting you do sin is the point. Once you acknowledge that your sin separates you from God, You might accept his offer of reconciliation.
IMoveWithTheEleganceOfAnAfricanElephant
I get sin and appreciate the sentiment, but if I get damned for "x" when he said "y" I guess I'll burn and argue semantics for eternity :)
zeldasdad
While true, Jesus died for all sin, even the gays
ReasonableConservative
Flee from sexual immorality... Your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit... You are not your own... Honor God with your bodies.
zeldasdad
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith. It is the gift of God, NOT by works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8,9
GoldenSour2
Thanks Jesus
sprbwlshuffler
Corinthians and 1st Timothy weren't written by Jesus nor an account of his life. They were letters written by Paul.
MRNate
Paul was an apostle, writing under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. It still counts.
sprbwlshuffler
Anyone can right under the inspiration of the holy spirit.
MRNate
Not in the same way, the cannon is closed. We don't get to make up new scriptures because we claim to be inspired.
Daloth
And what about the books removed by the church/political figures? Since the cannon was closed those count and should be put back, yes?
NicoretteJunkie
Or you could just not. Why would you or anyone else care who loves who?
poultice
I think the point is that it is specious to point to only "quotations" of Jesus in the gospels. The new testament repudiates homosexuality.
poultice
At least I'm taking that original comment as sarcasm.
MRNate
The problem is less this one example and more rejecting God's authority.
NicoretteJunkie
I wholeheartedly reject your gods authority.
NicoretteJunkie
And I don't even have to be gay to do it!