countervail247365
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Dec 10, 2023 10:37 PM
countervail247365
81284
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whatseventhepointt
Lllllliiiiiiiiieeeeeessssss
DidYouDoThis
DichotomusPrime
That's... hm. I like that a lot. Good way of putting it.
Iliekbirbs
I need a guy like this.
MeasuredByFive
My mother left notes and I did too, men either don't care or have no value in making you happy.
SJBSavageInk
Except if here, is wanting the republican dictator, woman hating, hellscape.
TheobromineAddict
For couples who have problems communicating, I highly recommend you BOTH read this book. And the many other Tannen books on communication.
PlankTableGo
Sadly, this is rarely a 2-way street.
BubblesTheFish
the void
sircowdog
Do NOT assume we should "just know". That stupid shit NEVER works, ladies. You have to tell us straight out.
DCPrime
Why do you expect a woman to adapt to your communication style when it sounds like you’re not even willing to meet her halfway?
sircowdog
Halfway to what? Mind reading a person who won't communicate? I have no issues talking or working through problems. But a person can't do that if the other party just gets mad because they aren't having their thoughts read. Communication is key. Without that there is no half way.
DCPrime
I think I misunderstood your comment as something like, “Women need to adapt to my straight forward communication style, and I don’t want to put in the effort to learn how women prefer to communicate with me.” But I was wrong, and I get it now. You’ve been with women who shut down and stop making the effort to communicate, which sucks. I agree, that’s definitely not two-way communication.
sircowdog
It's not just me. The original post illustrates how common it is in many relationships. It's a bit of a trope sometimes, to be sure. We love to exaggerate for effect here in memeland. But the core is still true: When trying to communicate with men it's often a good idea to be straightforward.
nomealone
Until you get old anyway!
JustaSimplePlumber
Men as a species are unperceptive, seriously just spell it out for us. If we’re being dumb or talking too much or not picking up your subtle hints. Grab us by the god damn ear drag us into the corner and draw us a little picture with specific instructions as to what exactly you need.
ItWasntSupposedToBeThisWay
Just ask. I ask my SO all kinds of things that aren't necessarily comfortable to talk about, but I don't have to guess. I can now predict about 50% of the things she's going to ask or want before she even realizes it.
ArcaneM37
This is a lot of effort to put in over and over again. Im just so tired.
trayal
I've found that it's less about being imperceptive and more about people using ambiguously structured language. It doesn't help when somebody talks to you and there are multiple ways to interpret that sentence, or there isn't enough information. Word your speech in ways that people who don't have your thoughts in their head can understand what you mean.
SharkDoctor
i told my boyfriend that i was like this and he told me he didn't want to have to tell me every little thing. anyway, we didn't last.
Mempress
And if a woman tell their man she doesn't wanna have to tell him every little thing, she's a bitch. Women are expected to over function to compensate for men's incompetence, men get to set boundaries and have them respected.
buttcreambandit
I wouldnt say that. Generally we don’t understand female emotions and needs and are better at hunting and fighting but that’s not always true. For sure though in this day and age we need strong signals cause if you misinterpret something it could lead to a police charge
coachComputerBaron
God tier shit post. Beautiful
tallyhoho
I'm going to start using this line more liberally
Equinox13
One day the alpha male will reach the beta testing stage.
LadyRex
This is a human thing. Not a man thing.
whosbestmom
Came back to say this--I'm quite open, I think whereas w/hubby always a guessing game . . .
JustaSimplePlumber
I’ve always assumed it was a man thing because I’m a man never even thought to think of it that way. Thank you.
JadeNB1729
@LadyRex took @JustaSimplePlumber at his word, and @JustaSimplePlumber practiced what he preached. A++, would read comment threads again.
languex
We met this couple at a party. They're perfect for each other. He's a Proctologist, and she's a pain in the a**.
chiefuffaker
She’s a proctologist and he’s an asshole
ArchonIlladrya
r/yourjokebutworse
prettywitty69
*laughs in boomer*
Psionickitten
I have a very good relationship with my partner because we communicate. We make no dillusions that we're going to be together forever because we both have healthy boundaries. If either of us disrespects the other or goes in a direction the other can't follow, we won't. As such we'll probably stay together because we haven't fucked it up yet. Our love is conditional that we both remain someone who is both loving and is loveable.
Windharp
I always thought we did, after 20 years I learned she didn't. After a year I still have no idea what went wrong.
BlindGardener
My partner and I’ve ducked tons up, but we both keep trying
gorillaClutch
Very similar. My wife and I both believe there's no point being with someone who doesn't want to be with you. We both want the same things out of life, so we keep choosing each other. As long as we do, we'll stay together.
StopTheWorldIWannaGetOff
God, I had a whole thing typed, but screw it. We're all human. I hope you and your partner only the best. It takes a shitton of effort. As long as you're both willing to put the effort in you'll be fine :)
junkgoof
My wife had a concussion and was hateful for years. Mostly better now. Sometimes people don’t control when they cross boundaries.
oprager
My wife was hateful for years without having had a concussion. We are not the same.
theunwiseyoda
I feel like I could learn a lot from you. I don’t know how long my partner and I will be together and thinking about how it could end scares me even though I know we won’t be together forever. We also aren’t the best at communicating, although they are very honest with me which I love about them. (If anyone has advice to share I would love to hear it because I don’t really know what I’m doing ;) )
KiwiGameDev
That’s the best! Wish it was depicted more than this horrid “true love will always fix the problem” that leads people into misery as they fail to realise that it’s less realistic than the dragons and aliens in the wry same stories
TheSaltyCaptain
I admire those who break through societal norms and conditioning to find something better. Unconditional love is an unattainable myth and yet is also a societal expectation. It's healthy to understand the difference between reality and fantasy.
TheSaltyCaptain
...Also now I want to create a cocktail called 'The Dillusion'
MyLittleLily
Realized that my wife and I don’t have boundaries and we never talk about anything. I tried to set some but she wasn’t into it.
thundershart
How'd/s that going?
MyLittleLily
Trying to split up.
Psionickitten
*delusions. Fuck.
Spudd86
Probably should actually be "have no illusions".
notabotandnotnotabot
Not, "make no allusions"?
notabotandnotnotabot
Misspelling that was your partner's redline. Sorry mate.
Psionickitten
It's actually something we appreciate about each other. Misspellings are not common and when we are wrong we appreciate the correction.
JadeNB1729
Dillusions! A wild pickle seems to hang before you!
thetonestarr
I read it as a strange abbreviation of "disillusions"
JadeNB1729
Yeah, as if that's more realistic than phantasmal herbs.
vodkaho
My wife and I are like that, went through a few things that showed to us the absolute critical necessity for good communication. And so now we've been together for over 30 years, with no sign of it ending in sight. Because we communicate honestly, always.
foo431
My husband and I, even from the very beginning have always said, there's always an out. We have agreed that depending on the situation, we would do couples therapy and try. But if it's not going to work in the end, at least we had fun while it lasted
Psionickitten
I specifically empower her to have an out, always. It lets her know I choose her and that I know she chooses me. I want to be desired and appreciated so if she's not doing that I WANT her to leave me. If I become someone who is abusive to her I don't want her to put up with that. I don't want either of us to feel trapped or start to resent each other.
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rachellian
it can actually serve as an act of allyship when heterosexual couples refer to each other as partners and normalize the term, people in homosexual relationships aren’t instantly outed in conversations where they mention their partner
notabotandnotnotabot
It's the normal Australian way to refer to your significant other.
PrincessDaystar
I have two partners. Ones my girlfriend and ones my boyfriend but they are both my partners. Get the fuck outta here with "its cold and stupid."
theunwiseyoda
But why? I call my partner my partner because they prefer that over a gendered term
TheElliotPage
(i said why)
TheSaltyCaptain
It's also a great term for queer peops to use when someone's giving questionable vibes and may not be safe.
TheSaltyCaptain
I think it'd be pretty cold and stupid to insult and dictate how someone else expresses their relationship.
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TheSaltyCaptain
They should use whatever they prefer. Who are you to impose the other people's consensual relationships?
Agreement2agree
How's this working out for you in your mind?
ComradeZoidberg
They can refer to their significant other however they want. They don’t need to show caring the way you want them to.
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Agreement2agree
Hey, please don't project your stuff onto others or tell people how they can speak.
Psionickitten
I specifically call her my partner because I find it's the best term to describe her as. We are equals who support and love each other. We choose to be together as a partner. When she first heard me describe her as such she squealed with joy. This random internet person who's projecting on me has no bearing on me. They can be a hater and it won't affect me one bit. Honestly, that response gives me the implication they'll never attain the level of happiness I have and that's sad for them.
TheElliotPage
why not? you're doing it to me. ...or trying to... & failing...
Agreement2agree
Hilarious
YertIeTheTurtle