I have proposed the Hefner as the unit of pornography. One Hf of porn is equal to one Hannity of false indignation, multiplied by 500 milliBoners of sexual arousal.
Wrong form of currency. That's by your own physical effort. That doesn't count. We're talking about, "Are you pretty enough to inspire somebody ELSE to launch THEIR boat, just to come get you?" Completely different discussion.
Writing a humorous article about the concept, David Goines considered a range of metric prefixes to the unit, ranging from the attohelen (ah) which could merely "light up a Lucky while strolling past a shipyard"
Feels like we're dipping into some "horse power" kind of fuckery here, with the math and all. So Helen launched a thousand ships, thus the millihelen to determine how much to launch a singular ship. But there's no clear indicator of what counts as a ship here. I mean, we have a definition, slightly, but even then there are massive gaps between the Exploris One and something like the goddamned Seawise Giant.
Technically it's a classic theater reference, it comes from a play by Christopher Marlowe, a contemporary of Shakespeare, and is talking about Helen of Troy. Discworld by the great Pterry does a satire on it.
ilovebigmutts
Confidence is sexy as hell
FoxPesdassi
I have proposed the Hefner as the unit of pornography. One Hf of porn is equal to one Hannity of false indignation, multiplied by 500 milliBoners of sexual arousal.
0xBADA55
Trump uses the LittleGirls scale
thechelonianshelmet
Milli-Pedo?
TorrentialUpPour
Okay but we should be launching pedos (into the sun).
PlaceHolderTitle
apolyton
appropriate and even topical reactiongif! Well done
PlaceHolderTitle
It's an older one I don't get to use very often but Credit to @BabyFarkMcGeeZax
Dryview89
one ship! Minihelen
androgenoide
Maybe a single rowboat.
R100GSPD
I can launch a canoe, what's that conversion?
shipwreck92
Wrong form of currency. That's by your own physical effort. That doesn't count. We're talking about, "Are you pretty enough to inspire somebody ELSE to launch THEIR boat, just to come get you?" Completely different discussion.
ka1iban
That's Asimov, alright.
JJohnston94
And we know from "Futurama" that the unit of cool in the fonzie. Farnsworth's nephew measured over 40 megafonzies.
randehman
Would a milihelen be 1/1000th of the specified amount of beautiful? It was 1 whole-ass helen who did that.
gNatalie13
30 Helen’s agree
bikergeek6249
One Helen would also burn the topless towers of Ilium in addition to launching a thousand ships, so I'm not sure this works.
GreenJayBird
Writing a humorous article about the concept, David Goines considered a range of metric prefixes to the unit, ranging from the attohelen (ah) which could merely "light up a Lucky while strolling past a shipyard"
Chort26
PoliticalWanderer
"Is this the face that launched a thousand ships?"
Sageypie
Feels like we're dipping into some "horse power" kind of fuckery here, with the math and all. So Helen launched a thousand ships, thus the millihelen to determine how much to launch a singular ship. But there's no clear indicator of what counts as a ship here. I mean, we have a definition, slightly, but even then there are massive gaps between the Exploris One and something like the goddamned Seawise Giant.
EMHPicardo
MantisTobagganMD
They say her face has launched a thousand fish and chips!
androgenoide
and burnt the topless towers of Ilium?
Pelican3
Bring back topless towers! Free the nipple!
SalmySwims
No, this is Patrick
doctorbocker
Yeah, the other way!
QotU
Is this a Discworld reference, or am I mistaken?
PoliticalWanderer
Technically it's a classic theater reference, it comes from a play by Christopher Marlowe, a contemporary of Shakespeare, and is talking about Helen of Troy. Discworld by the great Pterry does a satire on it.
VagrantKoba
Only if their face happened to look like a champagne bottle.
Idonotbelievewehavecompany
BruhForScale
Bit of a schnozz but she’s got them heavies
GoodChange
I hope they defined beauty something like {personality+humor+kindness+look+…}
eadanke
She disarms some dude by flashing him, her face is what launched the ships, Alexander and her stare at each other. It's all looks.
Ngugi
Gladly I don't think they had the hubris to define beauty, as it indeed covers many qualities
GimcrackGewgaw
I once commandeered a boat to get to a date. I eventually married that woman. So... one millihelen?
Ngugi
TheWombatStrikesAgain
So like for outboard motors?
Pilgrymm
Is there such a thing as negative millihelens?
randomwalrus
Hi. I was told that my presence was required here, but they did not say why.
geruhn
It also launches ships, but in the other direction
TorrentialUpPour
"I don't know how many negative millihelens she is, but the Titanic just rose up off the seabed to return to drydock."
TheInitiated
Off the top of my head, I could think of a face that closed a whole strait.
DemSumBigAssRidges
kilomaralagos
pilomotor
Actually, yes. −1 millihelen is the amount of ugliness required to sink a battleship.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helen_(unit)
drduffer
Thank you for your act of scholarship!
⬆️
Yellowchopsticks
Penelope, the face that brought Odysseus home?
ziph3326
Not really! You can’t count negatives when there’s a bag!
NoneOfYoBiseniss
Orca
ExecutiveProducerWolfDyck
No, just ever smaller fractions. .001 helens could launch a jetski.
Heelcat70
Mama June's face could sink a thousand ships.
Pilgrymm
Never mention her in my presence.
CoryParsnipson
The face that made 1000 people get back in bed
Pilgrymm
DarthVaderDidNothingWrong
No, there are no negative helens. That side of the scale is the Bannon
Pilgrymm
FermentTheRich3000
Bannon of Troy?
DarthVaderDidNothingWrong
No, Bannon of Steve
JimmyWalkerTexasRanger
The face that SINKS a thousand ships.