nani17
124383
1185
24
#funny #work
May 31, 2022 12:35 PM
nani17
124383
1185
24
#funny #work
Emula
1970s called they want their joke back (that kid probably)
Daevram1123
Sounds like the perfect person to send for a metric crecent wrench sometime
dentpuzz
Send him for a long stand. Don’t expect to see him for the rest of the day though.
onecrazycanuk365
Bet he went to smoke a joint and took that off one of his tools. Who played who?
0ldGregg
Send him out for a long weight to see what he comes back with!
kaldaze
I would just leave for the day and come back tomorrow for work. Then ask, was that a long enough wait, or do you want me back tommorow?
D1rtyh4rry666
I mean…he came back with SOMETHING….solid apprentice.
itsfunnythatwordsmeanthings
Send me to get all the stupid things. Get paid by the hour anyways. Best believe I will be following all speed limits too!
thedudeman519
Right?
ProphetofEntropy
they sell them, incase you break one and want to replace them. haha good joke...
reformedxile
the good ol' bucket of steam...pro-tip, get a bucket, insert piece of dry ice (crushed), add water right before returning = bucket of steam
dethloc
Could they find pre-dug post holes?
SergeyPrkl
Well, he seems to be resourceful. Keep him in mind when in need of new personnel.
yetiburglar
Fucking with apprentices is lame.
thedudeman519
NoBoDy WaNtS tO wOrK iN tHe TrAdEs! Well you keep doing dumb shit like this, do YOU want people to work in the trades?
yetiburglar
I’m older and tired switching careers. These younger guys gave me shit about everything… even stuff unrelated to the trade. Naw.
pinatafarmer
They sent me to get a "beam extender" from shop, I knew it was bs, so me and the shop guy just watched seinfeld on a little tv
delciotto
Or go out for a early lunch.
thedudeman519
Might as well.
Millenelmonster
ur coffee will only be decaf
zeo868
Why is the original coffee only decaf?
Millenelmonster
revenge for the bad errands
WoopDeFrickenDoo
coffee if they're lucky
SpaceTaco22
That is pure evil and should be banned by the Geneva Conventions
derekjohn
'Add that to your goldfish fart collection'.
clem2270
I hope he took all day and burned lots of company gas running all over town.
thedudeman519
Basically its either that or go take a nap on company time .
turbotricycle
Give him a raise.
Fairemont
Had a customer come in and ask for elbow grease. I know it's a gag, but it's like... is it? Is it really? Could be some sort of dry skin
Fairemont
Lotion or some sort of lubricant playing on the name and I'm just like idk let me check and he starts giggling. Turns out we did not have it
AmbroseWolfinger
There used to be a fisting lube called Elbow Grease.
ReposterCallerOuterMan
Hope to be a plumbing apprentice one day. I want them to do this kind of prank on me, I'll take a long time finding it and take the day off
thedudeman519
Exactly milk that shit.
tinyfootprints
1/ My CO sent me to the PX for 100 yards of skirmish line. The next day I told him that the PX clerk searched all day long and that's why >
tinyfootprints
2/ I missed all of the afternoon's drills. I was busy obeying his order. Fortunately, he realized that he had pranked himself and didn't >
tinyfootprints
3/ try to punish me.
SpiceSlag
Took me actual years to realise a porter in a bank sent me on a goose chase to deliver letters by hand to other branches of our bank.
SpiceSlag
To be fair it was a lovely day an he told me to take my time. So I spent about 2 hours walking about in the sun and went for a pint
thedudeman519
Work smarter not harder
roughingupthesuspect
I mean, they did what they were asked.
Vengeraxe
Send him to get the Pipe Stretcher and the Concrete Stud finder.
cosonfused
pipestretchers exist, but are stupid expensive and large and complicated
cosonfused
and i just saw that a smaller simpler thing exists too
DawnofAzazel
Ok but what are you going to do if he comes back with either of those things, which do exist?
o4kill
New tools for the shiny Cool Shit Thats A Tax Write Off collection in the back of the van
Vengeraxe
Pat him on teh back and send him off to look for more stuff.
n0n53n53
So you paid him hourly to waste your time? Congrats?
thedudeman519
"Man we used to be able to have fun!"
cosinewave
Next time, send him out for a board stretcher.
redsmerf
A left-handed hammer is also a classic
shibbytothelibby
Classic! We always told our apprentices to get the board stretcher. The look of terror and confusion was priceless.
MrCroupAndMrVandemar
https://youtu.be/hYnFok-7cP4
tantallous
Need a concrete stretcher too.
drduffer
Don’t ask that of an EMT in the US cause they’ll return with a spinal backboard.
7heBored
Bring out the Rack!
volkheath
One traction splint, incoming.
Gayforbae
Nonono.... thats a stretcher board....
drduffer
This might be one of those weird regional dialect things. Back board? Spinal board? Stretcher board? Spine board? What is it where you live?
Schaade
Either resourceful or he's got your number.
jjw9
+1 … when you know the apprentice is destined to be the boss ? …
t4piwa
I’d say both
Schaade
Then good thing apprentice wasn't sent for elbow grease. He might have come back with Ben Gay and Preparation H.
PutItInNeutral
If you know they are sending you on a hazing errand, that's a great excuse to run off and fuck around on the clock.
ProphetofEntropy
you can buy them, incase you want to repair your level instead of just replacing it. guess this isnt common knowledge, you can buy a lot of
Nize426
How would you know if the cartridge inside the level is level when you replace it?
ProphetofEntropy
the lines are put on after its filled and zeroed to the outside detentions.
it the cartridge is the right dimensions its calibrated. 1/2
ProphetofEntropy
precision levels arent what these are used in. 2/2
ProphetofEntropy
odd things at an industrial parts store.
Pphunk77
McMaster-Carr is an amazing resource.
ShiaLeboufski
How about not wasting their time and show them how to do the job
HiImLick
This is both teaching human stuff and the job. It's the best way to show a labourer that they have to think for themselves, :)
AmbroseWolfinger
123idrinkpeee
As a current apprentice, this is part of the job. And we will do it to our future apprentices.
RobErtE87
But how about you wouldn't?
kaldaze
Not everything on a job site has to be work work work. Small laughs like this are needed. And harmless hazing is a great intro to the team
YoureWaifuAShit
if you're getting paid by the hour you should be working for that full hour.
kaldaze
You should go follow your own bio's advice.
thedudeman519
Thats why as an apprentice if they send you to do dumb shit, take your time. Milk it.
Zapathasura
impressive. Next time send him to fetch a glass hammer and a bucket of striped paint.
anarchoFeline
our you could not waste his time
Oldiewankenobie1
lol we made a glass hammer up for a newb at my job once. it was a stick wrapped in comically large foam rubber and sent him to various depts
madeejit
"Grab a box of sparks for the grinder while you're there!"
SithElephant
I'd be purchasing a kiln, and some moulding material.
Djsocar
I'd be gone for an hour, sitting in a parking lot on imgur.
ConstantBitRate
"6 foot board extender"
retailmemedrone
Try something like asking for elbow grease or blinker fluid a company made those just to make money.
crashmat
A long stand
Data91883
Horizontal or vertical stripes?
BlueDub
And a long stand
LincolnMarkLT
But, don't hammers already work on glass?
NomDeDieuDePutainDeBordelDeSaloperieDeMerde
Jackhammer silencer
Gayforbae
Glas hammer, you mean a windshield safety hammer? Or a cd of the Rockband Glass Hammer?
TI99Kitty
Ooh! Or tell him you need some elbow grease.
UndercoverHoverer
Now send him for toenails.
mday8
Oh Im gonna so screw with my kids with this
Hurch
Don't get upset when he takes two and a half ours to complete that task. Maybe he went to the movies, you'll never know.
ImAfraidYoureAllPsychosSoIMadeThisAccount
We'd tell new guys to go buy a gallon of compression for an engine. The parts store would tell them they only have it in 55 gal drums.
ufoara
ufoara
Idontneedrealfacts
worked at a hardware store years and years ago. people came in asking for stuff like this I found something to sell them. "This is the one"
1lastaccount
Used to be EMT. That had a youth program. We sent the boys to ER for a pap smear. Told them it was part of the job. Some never come back...
Irreal
With how long it can take to get to the point that you get a referral for genital reassignment they might just be still on the task .
Oscill8s
Oh that is deliciously evil
imasneakypineapplehead
First serving job I had I was asked next door so we could borrow their squeegee sharpener. Also was told to empty the hot water out of the
zimirken
They sell little sharpeners to renew old wiper blades so they last a little longer
imasneakypineapplehead
Coffee maker. Fun fact it was an instant hot water maker so it doesn’t empty ?
PineappleLoopsBroether
Chef friend of mine sends newbies to fetch a pot of steam.
hdcompatible
Vertical, or horizontal?
mondeca
Better get one of each.
HostMigrationPleaseWait
Gayforbae
Zebra
AdrianDunne
Tartan paint.
GoodGuyGonzo
African or European?
blockberd
Metric or Imperial?
SlyMrFox
I-I don't know.
kahooki
Of course metric! A whole meter striped african paint is the shit. They always fuck the yard up.
MyGreatestFearBoner
Washing machine or banana?
Jopler420
or a sky hook. very usefull when needing to hang things while working outside
Myrealnameisunusual
I was told to get sky hooks once. And a glass hammer and tartan paint. Bastards.. good times
hogeyegrex
Muffler bearing.
Irreal
Siemens really should ramp up their production line, they are constantly sold out everywhere.
Vungor
My wife clears out my stock weekly.
Gayforbae
I mean a skyhook is a brand of portable crane.
bobGrimer
And Skycrane a type of helicopter for heavy lifting.
delciotto
Wasn't there a story where a dude rented one because he thought they were serious?
cosonfused
if it us, that's hilarious
qtRaven
A left handed wrench and a quart of Elbow Grease.
Gayforbae
Elbow grease? The anal fisting lube? You can get that on amazon....
DrKriegersClone
You're dangerously close to summoning Ellie...
Gayforbae
qtRaven
@ElbowDeepinaHorse!
hdcompatible
An old boss of mine sent me out for a flashing bulb. He wasn’t impressed when I explained that they exist.
NirvanaNik
A strobe light?
hdcompatible
Bimetallic strips!
MstrES
Be careful, according to nate dog they lie.
[deleted]
[deleted]
MadBadHated
Get wasted, shitfaceded
flamingoshotgun
That’s why you look real close
NirvanaNik
RIP Nate Dogg.
AlexKeed
Filanwizard
self blinking bulbs exist too, the non LED christmas lights just have a bimetalic strip that heats up and opens the circuit, cools recloses