Kongpants
57987
2043
87
Oh no
How much
Feb 8, 2020 9:47 AM
Kongpants
57987
2043
87
futureramenllamadingdong
Happy Human Holiday
Maxobb
A friend wants the sauce for #15
bolobass
1,2,3,5. I can see why 2 is related!
seckzie
#1 yeah that is called being raped if that happens to you. Just because you agreed to vaginal sex does not mean you agreed to other kinds.
TheRealGeorgeMcfly
I'm gonna yerd the fuck out of somethong
whywontanybodygosnorkelingwithme
I'm gonna steal the fuck outta so many of these
apiidae
Yerd n Yeet
rab337
#50 I once dated a girl with a bra size of FFF. There were six hooks, Fucken 6! I could have died under those things. Died with a smile.
kamehameahahahaha
Don't forget that Lobo is the baddest bastich
longNECKpeople
I don't get the 100 year wait one. And Why arent other European countries foreigners to france?
Axianamos
Have a friend we all just call midge. Or midget. Someone used his real name once and it took me 5 minutes to figure out who it was.
Shitheid
My friend has had a nickname for almost 15 years. My mom still calls her by her first name. Catches me every time
Kongpants
My friend has been called by his surname forever so I couldn't find him on Facebook to show off a picture because I forgot his first name...
DrBourbonTheOriginal
I knew a guy as Smiley for five years before I heard someone describe him using his real name. I didn't think I knew him. 1/2
DrBourbonTheOriginal
One of the people in the group said, "You had dinner with him last night." Me-"Wait, Smiley is Joe Romano?"
NeynasGhost
A buddy of mine got a nickname because he had the same name as another buddy's brother. My dad called nicknamed buddy by actual name and I
NeynasGhost
Genuinely spent five minutes trying to figure out why and where he was talking with other buddy's brother.
GGCrono
#2 https://www.artstation.com/artwork/4bzOOq
JudgeVegas
Why do people think defenestration is a uniquely English word?
JoshuaPaul
Aaaand signing up for cooking classes
WellAckchually
True facts. I'm 5'5".
electrajet
Lived in a house with a bunch of guys, one we called "Cheeks." One day his mom called the land line and asked for "Steve." "Wrong number."
kt1982mt
My mum is a far more patient and fun grandmother than she ever was as a mum! (She was a good mum, btw, just that she's a much better gran)
EmmyHearts
Raise your kids to spoil your grandkids
Mithi
That is the difference between a hobby and a job.
skafloc
FlatPlutoSociety
#2 As if the tooth fairy isn't already nightmarish enough.
GreatScatt
To dudes: find someone you trust and try bottoming. Its worth it.
kruug
#2 does it have to be mine?
DocTanner
I was gonna disagree about #27, and then I realized my father and I have been estranged for years. So... uh... shit.
7357
#1 Is surprise anal a thing? Thought it required prep.
krapmyself
I know where the clit is, I have a dad, I have energy for 2 rounds, 3 if one is the lazy dog, I can cook a variety of meals, and I'm 5'8".>
krapmyself
I'm not bragging, just saying we exist. But that doesn't mean anything. What if the guy is poor? Has a micro penis? Is an abusive sociopath?
wobblecopterrrr
The single clips are the hardest, they twist and there is little give..
Spawnofsanta1313
I have all 5
dontrike
#5 That the shaved ice babies can still summon the great dick in the sky? (+1 to whoever got that reference)
ElroyJetsonEsq
#35 porgie
Icanhearwhatyouresayingandtheanswerisno
I don’t have to take this from someone who sucks toes!
Spawnofsanta1313
The fak is wrong w/ sucking toes? Had a girl once who’d lose her mind if, while in the act, you sucked on a toes. Proud toe sucker.
GreatScatt
Some people are just really afraid of feet. They tend to be loud about it. Having your toes sucked on feels really cool tho.
Spawnofsanta1313
Fear is the mind killer.......
TheVoicesinMyHeadSingShowtunes
I’ll admit I don’t have all 5; just 1,2,4 & 5.
Innternetexplorer
I'm 0
Ultra666
I lack 5. *cries in 5.6*
WinoCrimesand69s
5,2,4 and mostly 1. Not all are the same, takes a min sometimes
asm80dfa8sdfj
I did have all 5, then someone killed my father
JamesBluntThatSmartassCunt
I have all five but I don’t swing that way
TheSpanishInquisitor
I only have the first.
doobas
4 is the only one I'm kind of lacking in. I have a really tiny knowledge base when it comes to recipes and suchlike.
Kongpants
And I'm sadly 5"6 ?
TheSpectrumGuy
...i i have all 5...round 2 somedays though so more a 4.5 outta 5
Asgth
I have at least 1&2, can't test for 3, don't have 4, and i con't speak cave man for 5.
namAehT
Same but I can sometimes do 3, depends how long we went the first time.
MobileUserHere
I'm not a dad and round 1 can sometimes take over 40 minutes for me so I really don't have the energy after that.
DanFendi
::Frantically calls his father to make sure he's okay::
CaptainDju
Yeah I don't always have 3 either
andremauriceaudet7
Depending on how much time you give me, I have all 5
angrybeards
1,2,4,5 as well. Gimme an hour for 3.. my back hurts
gtmiller
I lost my dad a few years back.
gentleculinarian
1, 3, 4, 5......
incubisexual
5'5"! Hahaha
PleaseLeave
I know ill get downvoted but i do have all 5, i dont understand how people cant find the clit its right on top of the cunt
ararar9112
Same here XD, i think everyone replying here should be able to join a group calles "The 5 Pros".
IceStalker7
I have all 5 as well. My gf is a lucky lady
gomos
Right above the Vestibule!
ForFortyHumans
I thought that was a Yankees hat.
babutner
Same... though it feels like I'm losing 3 as I get older lmao
yeahIbreedtreelizards
RN@work, pointing,trying to insert catheter:"is that the clit"? She was a LESBIAN. Girl at work said she must be, like, the worst lesbian.
PleaseLeave
But to be honest, some people just dont get to or simply dont explore these parts until they are at the age of having relationships and sex
yeahIbreedtreelizards
She was married. To a woman. But you know... That kinda makes sense in a way.
BiggestofBears
Yeah I've got all 5. I imagine round 2 will drop as I get older, if you have #1 you shouldn't really need #3...
Khornight
also have 5, but my personality sucks ...
jellydonut
I have everything but I'm unattractive so it makes no difference
KatieIsALady
Date ugly chicks
cantfocusenoughtoread
Be funny
MisterWill
I really believe there is someone for everyone. Yah you may need to lower your physical standards. Also I read a lot of your comments... 1/2
MisterWill
2/2 ... Maybe try to be a bit more positive? IMHO you come off a bit condescending. But I’m not perfect either. Good luck out there!
BobHasselhoff
1, 3, 4 and I don't know if 5, cuz I don't understand this system you guys use, I'm 1,70cm
MisterWill
Are you that clever? 170cm is 5ft 6.9inches... so you would have to be at least 171cm to qualify for 5
SpoonOfDoom
Google says 5'7 is 173,736cm. So with 175 I'm technically above 5'7! Also missing 2 though. 3 with a bit of recovery time inbetween.