mrpink83
202950
3036
255
Dude. What? Dude!
Edit: credit to @adrianontherocks for making me think of this! :)
Sep 18, 2022 3:54 AM
mrpink83
202950
3036
255
Dude. What? Dude!
Edit: credit to @adrianontherocks for making me think of this! :)
iamnoobplzhelp
Even though I'm from PNW, I end my zoom calls with y'all
ThatOtherGirlYouKnow
A better way, and genuinely gender-neutral.
zeiji
non exclusive/inclusive, not neutral. you can call you mom dude, but ask your dad how many dudes he fucked and he will not include your mom.
FancySharkDinnerParty
parabolic000
It was several years that I'd order orange soda at restaurants in homage to Kenan and Kel
xxx108
Hahaha
cooplander
PistachioKB
This and always this; everyone is my dude
Noismute
WELCOME TO GOODBURGER HOME OF THE GOODBURGER CAN I TAKER YOUR OOOOORDER
LCMcG
Kel was truly ahead of his time
GravyEducation
FvckinNailedIt
Fuckin' nailed it.
Pikkupanda
Empirical evidence.
MyCommentsUsuallyHaveTypos
And they wonder why were so comfortable using pronouns
justanothergoonie
https://youtu.be/rV61t021SxQ
Hekinsieden
duhh33
This is my source reference if the situation is ever contested.
ThatOtherGirlYouKnow
It's a quarter-century old Nickelodeon thing. Needs better argument.
merbaby
If you call it the Thompson-Mitchell hypothesis it sounds way better
Pikkupanda
Oh. Done.
TkMacintosh
Absolutely 100% this. Dude has been part of vernacular ever since I was a child and I will not let it go dammit.
NatiLite
As another old guy, I concur.
VolCana
Same
usafsmith8408
usafsmith8408
DrunkBobRoss
In fact, "my dude" is a genuine term of affection.
M4Firefly
so is "bitch"
rhitard
Especially on Wednesdays.
undercoverles
It's similar to the Southern "Oh bless your heart" - can be affectionate or hella negative depending on context and tone!
JarJarBinksKisser
Also saying "Fuck, dude." does not mean I am addressing you as a dude. But the situation. Because its fucked. Dude is all.
VerboseDood61
It was my planned response to any friends who transition to Male pronouns... guess I need a new one! ??
PajamaStripes
"My dude"-affection "My guy"-confusion "My friend"-threatening
EccentricNimoy
You don't own me!
Eldis
The "my" in context is not possessive.
Eldis
I am, indeed, an incredible party accessory.
HillOfBeans
Dude…
DrunkBobRoss
Indeed.
OnePostCloserToAHappierLIfe
Or condescension, if used improperly.
WilliamHuskerAdama
Depending on the situation it could be the proper use
maincarrot
That's obvious, my dude!
Kuvajainen
EBlade19889
That's not an improper usage, just an alternate one. Condescendingly saying "sir/ma'am/bruh/buddy" can all be well placed
rashindus1962
In Polish, my mother tongue, I use the word "morda" to refer to people in gender neutral way, since it's gramatically feminine but mostly =>
rashindus1962
=> used by males to other males. It's very slangish word, something like "dawg" in English, but literally means "face/mug/snout".
linkgenesis
I find a genie tomorrow, I'm wishing that into the American lexicon.
rashindus1962
Mordo, musisz to tylko poprawnie odmieniać! (Yo mug, you just got to decline it right!) https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/morda
HCBailly
Rexsplode
Agreed. But if anyone ever says "hey, please don't call me that" if you refuse, you are still the A-hole.
CrownPrincessAzula
Agreed, I don't like being called dude. It wasn't gender neutral where I grew up.
wookiepoodoo
As a teacher I call all my kids dude. Some don't know it's gender neutral. I explain but tell them I won't use it on them if they want.
GravyEducation
Agreed also I just finished watching Invincible so nice username
TheRealFireFrenzy
Yeah but thats because you treat people like people
imeanYUUUGE
TheRealFireFrenzy
:| wut, you are angy because i treat people like people? or are you just posting a sick frog?
SanshinDojo
Yup. Still bears repeating, because many refuse to get it.
sirlointhefirst1337
Your be surprised how often I see someone go “ah but see I meant the genderneutral dude” when a trans woman asks them not to say that
TheRealFireFrenzy
I'd do that and then if she asked again i'd try and not do it anymore i'd probably fuck up but i'd try
Rexsplode
effort is the determining factor, screwing up apologetically is very forgivable offense.
UncleTwistyFresh
Consent and respect matters. It takes time to degender words that weren't initially gendered
eimat
Dad's been calling my sister & I 'you guys' my whole life, and I hate it.
ThatOtherGirlYouKnow
Or flip it and assume unless you know otherwise that people don't want to be called dude. Especially trans women.
kargul
this
ThatOtherGirlYouKnow
...but with trans women you've often already triggered dysphoria, and we are then faced with the calculation "will he then argue with me?"
ThatOtherGirlYouKnow
...or downvote rather than have inherent biases challenged in favor of a do-no-harm approach. Y'know, whatever.
ItHappenedInThe20thCentury
I'm not gonna say I have a strict policy of always upvoting you, but it turns out I nearly always do when I find your comments.
groovylovechild
We stan her we can’t help it
zylokun
vernacular is hard to change even when making an honest effort and i slip sometimes. It doesn't mean im not trying or i love you any less
ThatOtherGirlYouKnow
It's ok, we can generally tell who is trying and who is just being a jerk. Thank you for always trying, I know it took me years to get
DrunkBobRoss
It surely is. Dude.
mrpink83
Dude.
DrunkBobRoss
:)
WoofBastard
No, it's not. Anyone from California will tell you it's "Dudes and Dudettes".
adrianontherocks
I’m from California and dudettes is a horrible word. I hate it.
allihearisnoise
Or you can call ppl by their name or ask them how they like to be addressed. Don't be lazy
GuessWhatDude
Duuuuude!
duktayp
Also inanimate objects i.e. I broke the pull tab on my beer can = "Dude, WTH?"
mrpink83
My line is usually, "Dude, what now?"
wantfastcars
That's an interjection, not addressing a person. There's an important difference.
BaelKor
How many men would be okay telling their friends he got his dick sucked by a dude? If you heard that, would you think it was a woman?
Chereazi
It's not tho. It's VERY often not used gender neutral, and often when people claim that it's gender neutral it's just an obvious attempt 1/
ZebAsiz
I guess it might depend on where you live. I grew up in California and "Dude" was definitely gender neutral there.
undercoverles
As a lady, and a Californian: Every one gets called dude. My girlfriend, a random cat, the car that cut me off in traffic, EVERYONE.
Chereazi
to pretend women were included and EVERYONE knows that wasn't actually the case...
thevortexmaster
I still say dudette
almostalone
I call everyone dude, except for those that ask me not too. Respect costs nothing.
ThatOtherGirlYouKnow
...but with trans women you've often already triggered dysphoria, and we are then faced with the calculation "will he then argue with me?"
CrazedDrifter
That is the important caveat. I have trans and NB friends that object to dude.
ThatOtherMacAvoyWoman
What does disrespect cost? I’ll venmo you. /s
almostalone
Hah!
storebrandproductmascot
Even your mom?
almostalone
Mom is moms, but sometimes dude?
slopwagon
Sweet!
ThatOtherGirlYouKnow
++1 for that reference
kittenpettingfool
Just realized 'dudes' is cool w/ most ppl when addressing a group, but 'ladies' would probably get you in a fistfight. At least in my TX lol
kittenpettingfool
Idk how 'my' got put in that last sentence, but that's ok I guess. Texas is my lil baby sugar pie i guess.
topscienceb
As a trans woman can i say it's totally ok to use dude for all but if someone ask you not to call them a dude can you please respect that.
MmmmmSoup
Not unpopular
toomanymemesandnotenoughmemeory
Same as “you guys”
rubypilgrim
wassamattawidyouseguys?
Maccabi
ironman3010
This. Its second nature at the end of a work zoom meeting to say "have a good one guys!"(intended meaning, "everyone")
MarioBoon
You hear girls say "you guys" more than boys.
ThatOtherGirlYouKnow
...because context matters.
mixel08
I am a teacher in SK Canada and we are no longer allowed to say guys to refer to everyone. It's always been gender neutral to me. Although,
mixel08
I have been saying guys because it is just natural to me and no one has seemed to care.
femdyk350
When 2 old women walk into a restaurant with no men and we are referred to as, "guys", we take our wallets right back out of that business.
graehall
I just say folks. Super inclusive, even shorter.
toomanymemesandnotenoughmemeory
Just watch what hood you walk into saying that though…
darkusblack
That’s my go to as well.
TheInitiated
And just a vowelshift away from "fucks"! So handy!
MeshHatMafia
When I used to serve tables that was my usual intro. It used to upset about every 10th woman customer
DianNaoChong
I believe Guy has a neuter root word that meant person
FelineFatal
https://www.businessinsider.com/american-english-dialects-maps-2018-1
ImSorryImgurImNotAPerfectSpellerPleaseDontHateMeForever
Checks out I do this to customers all the time.
Seanspeed
No 'yous'?
hippocampus
"you all"?
LCMcG
Well this is weird, because we useall of these. Being a southern state, obviously "y'all" is slightly predominant but they all get used here
BurlRavenscroft
The fuck is a bubbler
LetumComplexo
My choir teacher did “yins”. He was from Pittsburgh.
Kougeru
I do "you guys" and "ya'll"
alwaysthecheesegrater
I'm guessing you moved around a bit?
bobbycottle
Do y'all instead, you guys. Apostrophe placement matters.
toomanymemesandnotenoughmemeory
Where’s yinz for Pittsburgh? Lol
Aksuuuh
Thee persons
CaptainRedHook
and where’s “yooz guys” for Brooklyn?
storebrandproductmascot
Where it belongs: unlisted and forgotten.
toomanymemesandnotenoughmemeory
Absolutely!
faultysage
Weird how all the "gender neutral" terms are masculine.
UncleTwistyFresh
We've tacked masculinity onto them. A lot of the terms that have become gendered originate from non gendered places. See mankind and human.
faultysage
K you show me how "guys" and "dudes" derive from "mankind" and "human" and I'll rescind my comment.
TacoPoweredHelicopter
It's only inclusive for you if it's done your way?
DianNaoChong
That's because of a society/culture that didn't treat women as people and excluded them in slang and colloquial speech. See 'guys and dolls'
djjeck
That's from Latin, where neutral is a separate gender, but it's more similar to the male form
Jawesome19
Human. Woman. Postman. You're the one saying MAN is Masculine aren't you, you sexist now? Men have to be masculine? There are no rules
Refragmental
Is cunt masculine?
sallycinnamon
Maybe we should start saying ‘having a good weekend cunts’ at the end of Zoom calls
HamSlamwich
Depends on the cunt.
alwaysthecheesegrater
That's not weird at all considering how language evolves and how patriarchal our current society has been. Oh, you were being sarcastic.
rogue5jm
Y'all
litelbrown
The "all" is short for "all penises".
TheRicM
TacoPoweredHelicopter
I have heard "what's up bitches" many times as an everyone term. And bitch is most definitely a feminine term.
Laracakes
But also a feminine term with a negative connotation
Pikkupanda
Totally.
tounushi
faultysage
In friend groups. Try using "Hey Guys" in a meeting one day then "Hey Bitches" the next. See which one raises a fuss.
TacoPoweredHelicopter
Neither?
faultysage
You're asking a question. Come back with me when you have an answer.
alwaysthecheesegrater
"bitches" is a newer term when used like that and specifically started to claim the word back from men and use it on our terms.
alwaysthecheesegrater
It becoming a gender neutral greeting is 100% mission accomplished.
MonoclesAndManacles
"Dudes" and "you guys" are also newer terms when used gender neutrally
alwaysthecheesegrater
Not nearly as new. My only source is "dude trust me" but I'm a new Yorker. I know when people used guys and when bitches started to be pop
completelyordinary
People just don't seem to want to admit that they are (unconciously) using "male" as the standard.
graehall
Yep.
storebrandproductmascot
People are extremely hostile to having their biases pointed out, especially if they aren't even convinced they have one.
Jawesome19
Or they just don't care because it has no value to them and is a waste of time, effort, emotion, and calories in general
PectorialMuscles
Yup. Why make new words when old words work and are already gender neutral. See: "dudes," which has been neutral for almost 2 centuries.
Kuvajainen
My native language doesn't have gendered anything. I remember how I read a history book in English when I was 12 and realized that when the/
Kuvajainen
Books translated to my language had words like "people" or "them" in my language they didn't mean me, they meant the male population. It was
Kuvajainen
Pretty harsh awakening to the gendered languages. Made me understand English speaking cultures a lot better!
MysticalPidgeon
Basically every show: we have all the personalities represented. Jock, nerd, funny one, and girl!
TacoPoweredHelicopter
I mean if you ignore a shit ton of shows, then ya.
CumsInPies
In Scooby Doo the nerd was also a girl so there, that doesn't really prove anything but it is true.
readingcat5772
Funny how it's usually the male terms that are gender neutral, but not the female terms. Why not call everyone gals?
Copperbrat
I call a group of my masshole gaming friends "ladies", despite being big, tough Italian men. They don't seem to mind.
arumunus
Ever since Drag Race I call a lot of guys "GURL" too. Took the guys at the tool store some getting used to, but they're down for it now.
StarSumiaki
So long as you respect people who ask you not to call them dude by, y'know, not calling them dude, then use dude however you want, dude.
ThatOtherGirlYouKnow
...but with trans women you've often already triggered dysphoria, and we are then faced with the calculation "will he then argue with me?"
StarSumiaki
Not sure I agree with "often" since trans mileage varies. But when dysphoria hits, it hits. Cis folks could stand to learn some empathy. 1/2
StarSumiaki
It's definitely a calculation though. Will he argue? Will he reveal the transphobia card? Will it lead to toxic verbal or physical assaults?
OhNoDontTouch
if common, harmless words without any ill intent are triggering to anyone, that seems like something worth discussing with a counselor
ThatOtherGirlYouKnow
I did. The answer was to avoid morons who hold all words to be equally harmless.
TallDude
Saying it to a person is GN, about is gendered. "Dude, nice car!" can be a gal or guy. "check out that dude" is masculine.
CharliePapaBravo
That's second-person vs third-person that makes that distinction.
IFoundOutThatYouCanHave63CharactersOntheUsernameHowCoolIsThat
My former colleague got a new job, about a week into it she got told off for using "Hey guys!" when she referred to a group of people.
ThatOtherGirlYouKnow
Quite right too.
holdmycatnip
Damn straight.
bloodrosey
If straight guys don't say they fuck dudes then dude isn't genderless.
EaNasirIsABastard
What if you don't fuck anyone?
gamejeepboi
I'm straight and I've only ever fucked dudes.
GravyEducation
It's a gray area, "I fuck dudes" implies homosexuality but you can call your GF "dude."
GravyEducation
Like maybe the explicit act of fucking makes us think more literally I don't know it's all subjective anyway
IAmASentientWaffle
It's called context, honey.
GravyEducation
That's what I'm sayin', babe. Nothing about this conversation is objective, it's all contextual use of language. You wanna do a J?
daromander
If it implies homosexuality then the word isn't gender neutral
friendsofsandwiches
It's not just gender neutral, it's species neutral. I keep calling my cat that.
friendsofsandwiches
"Dude, what did...awww come >ON<, Dude! WHAT! THE. FUCK? GODDAMNIT!"
BlueDsc
I've called inanimate objects "dude".
ChloeRed
I was originally taught it as "He is dude, she is dude, the lamp is dude..." *nods*
grapefruitengery
This isn't particularly unpopular. The issue is that it perpetrates an unconscious male bias , and unconscious bias has a much greater /
QueenOfTheFey
Exactly. Dude is considered gender neutral, because man is considered the default. And women/enbys are expected to just accept that.
imoutofnames
Ohhhh this is just like that Tumblr post all over again!
grapefruitengery
You seem like a very complacent dude
imoutofnames
Sure. Lol.
grapefruitengery
I take no issue with the use of the word dude, it's almost never used with malice. But I aspire to be more inclusive in my lexicon
grapefruitengery
Impact on the way we approach topics than many people think
kargul
This. Plus there are definitely people who prefer not to be called dude and, well, it's about them, not about you.
grapefruitengery
Being cognizant of the way your words impact people -even if you intend no malice-is worthwhile
EADimgur
Maybe, but at what point does a word shake off an old meaning and gain a new one? When does "dude" truly become neutral because that's 1/2
grapefruitengery
Trosinga ___---+++
EADimgur
the only way anyone ever uses it? 2/2
grapefruitengery
Probably when it stops having negative connotations to some people. And those people are who decides when, not the test of us
mirG7
Just reading Invisible Women for a book club, it describes this very well!
SidewalkWidflower
Is it a good read?
mirG7
Yes, I can recommend it!
grapefruitengery
Heard of it before, haven't read it though. I imagine I'd like it, though
graehall
"Look at those two dudes having sex" If someone asks you not to call them dude, be cool and go with it :)
ThatOtherGirlYouKnow
...but with trans women you've often already triggered dysphoria, and we are then faced with the calculation "will he then argue with me?"
graehall
Agreed. I specifically don't use it because I don't think it's gender neutral. And to insist it is ain't great.
ThatOtherGirlYouKnow
graehall
I put effort into using gender neutral terms, as an enby I know how valuable it is to me & to others.
somnif
Duuuude, I grew up in 90s So Cal, if I stopped saying Dude I'd basically be one of those monk dudes. Like, dude....
somnif
(I'm kidding of course, I'll happily accommodate folks preferences. But I typically default to dude as a first choice without prior info)
Freyja33
Okay, A: Regardless of how you mean it, if that term makes someone uncomfortable then you should respect that & stop using it with them. 1/2
ThatOtherGirlYouKnow
...but with trans women you've often already triggered dysphoria, and we are then faced with the calculation "will he then argue with me?"
Freyja33
B: No, it really isn't, most people use that word with a masculine connotation, but again even if you didn't someone might hear it that way.
RoninOni
In CA it’s rarely used as a gendered noun, it doesn’t even have to be a human… or even a living thing.
RoninOni
I’ve said “c’mon dude” to my computer. “Hey dude” to my cat and “missed you dude” to female friends with regularity
ThatOtherGirlYouKnow
Exactly, thank you.
UserSubHunterOfIndeterminateGender
Not always. It's often used to misgender transwomen so that when she gets mad at a TERF or transphobe missgendering her, she looks like...
markcan
Very well said and explained, thank you!
UserSubHunterOfIndeterminateGender
She's being a hysterical bitch. Which is what they want. It's this weird intersection of transphobia and misogyny that tranwomen navigate...
VanillaJester
I am fully behind everything that you're saying, but calling a trans woman hysterical is kinda hilarious to me, because of the root of the -
VanillaJester
- phrase; hystaria being a now-obsolete medical diagnosis for upset women that their uterus was wandering around inside their body.
UserSubHunterOfIndeterminateGender
On a daily basis in so many ways that you don't notice unless you're also trans. So, don't just call transwomen "dude" unless you know....
UserSubHunterOfIndeterminateGender
Them. She's not necessarily going to take it well, and might assume you're not a safe person. Just food for thought.
kargul
Also plenty of non-binary people run into the same problem.
KrampusCopia
K don't call people CIS. It sounds like sissy and is derogatory to almost all men. We say nothing because we don't want to seem hysterical
KrampusCopia
And misogynistic. I'll call you whatever pronouns you prefer. Just dance around the term like we have to dance around what to call you folks
holdmycatnip
Why would I want to communicate with someone that is on a hair trigger to freak out at me for not using their own pronouns they invented?
Pikkupanda
Wow. Never knew. Thank you! Does the same thing hold with terms like bitch for trans men? Have a FTM teenage grandchild.
FernLovebond
I'd steer away from "bitch" with anyone who hasn't explicitly said they don't mind it. FWIW, I'm enby.
Vikingtransgirl
Thank you ?
UserSubHunterOfIndeterminateGender
Hey, we gotta stick together.