This one really hurt

So I’m almost 30, and I have terrible anxiety when it comes to working. Long story short, I’ve had plenty of successful jobs that I overworked at and ended up wanting to off myself.

I’ve had major depressive disorder for about 10 years now and ive don’t so many therapies and medicines since then. Right now I’m in an outpatient program for mental health. I’m really trying.

I took some peoples advice and I’m starting small. Doing a little job to help prove that working doesn’t have to be big and scary. A dog walker! I finally got approved for my first walk after about a week and a half. I told my mom because I was so proud of myself for following through on something I found so scary. She giggled. Then laughed a little. And I’m a sarcastic voice she says to me ‘well congratulations. You can finally start making money.’

We’ve fought a lot over my mental health journey. How I’m a financial burden to my parents because of all the money they had to pour into my doctors. When I’ve had jobs, and at my worst, my mom didn’t care. She saw me as successful because I was making a lot of money. But now that I’m starting back up again, it’s like, not enough for her.

I think it hurts me a lot because this is the most mentally successful I’ve ever been. I’m in a much better spot than I ever have been before in my adult life. I guess I just want some credit from the woman who raised me.