RubyMoonNite
136161
1686
16
https://mymodernmet.com/prehistoric-fauna-roman-uchytel/
Nov 26, 2022 1:35 AM
RubyMoonNite
136161
1686
16
https://mymodernmet.com/prehistoric-fauna-roman-uchytel/
tanebot
Always there are two: Smol Boi and Heckin Chonk.
4noku
#7 They have a fossil of one of those in the British Museum. It was wild when I learnt that big fucker was a *sloth*.
DeeDoubleYu
these are really nicely done photobashes, kudos to the artist.
DelicateLikeABomb
Chrisxdxl
Why is everything getting smaller?
FlyingTigerRose
Love these! That Andean Condor has a wingspan of around 8'-10'. But that sloth, though! Had to look twice for modern version.
UnorthodoxLady
Jfc am I blind? Can't read all the small text
RubyMoonNite
I had to open the pics and zoom in
salunatics
#1 amazing how derp-i-ness passes down through the genes!
MemeusCalgar
oldguyexlurker
In the last thousand years or more, it seems humans went the opposite direction. We're doing it wrong. Again.
Wolfdens
coolbrood
You versus the guy she tells you not to worry about.
Wolfdens
therealSnyper117
*Ark Evolved intensifies*
SaintCody
I was specifically waiting for the megatherium because of Ark. I love those guys
DownWithBigParma
#2 but why did they have to draw its balls
Muppetman18
I don't think there were vets back then to neuter them
MarkyMousey
Most male felines have balls that are generally where the picture depicts them if the cat was in that stance, if that helps at all
Sipulikeitto
More forests, flora- and oceanic biomass = more oxygen = bigger flora and fauna.
CarnackiArdent
Ah, yes, a giant gelada, because modern baboons weren't sufficiently terrifying.
annimal1
Cannot compute need banana for size
BeardedWonder82
AdobewanKenobe
Wolfdens
TheJuiceLoosener
I know it breaks from the theme here, but I want to see that huge-ass camel next to a modern giraffe
itsjustplaid
#7 obligatory: https://youtu.be/tamkTRNng3Y
MrStealYourGiF
#4 Billionaire goals, clone that and make a saddle with a quad mount 20mm Oerlikon for the ultimate combat wombat.
ThrobbinHoodz
Until it gets pissed with you and booty smashes you in a tunnel or something. Cheeky twerkers.
thebowlllama
Id prefer the paracetherium, plus it comes with its own armour!
GooteMoo
Sure, but then some tek gigas mass-spawn about 50 yards away, and then you're arked again.
4noku
Combat wombat is a great phrase to say.
ConfettiPanda
Sure, but how will fair against my wooly rhino?
Pyrolime
*War-ly rhino
ConfettiPanda
HikariShade
They're all being compared to their closest still living relations, for anyone curious as to some comparison choices.
CrissCross35
Wouldn't an Asian elephant be closer to the Asian straight-tusked elephant?
HikariShade
iirc they did genetic analysis a few years back and found the relation from the extinct elephant and modern ones was a surprise, but I >>
HikariShade
<< could be miss remembering. Too lazy to do my own googling to confirm, but feel free to do so.
jakobbp
Yeah, but moa not being compared to a moa still vexes me.
pleaseuseotherdoor
I still feel like they give me too much credit. I am not ashamed to say that I'm not familiar with the proportions of the modern gelada.
FrankTheWallaby
I get that, but some are just awful for comparison. Spectacled bear? Clouded Leopard? Kiwi? It's like if imgur used a Cupuaçu for scale.
BrazilianThunderPanda
I need to reread the book Outland by Dennis Taylor with these pictures handy so I remember exactly how crazy that story is.
CosmosSmasher99
Man that orangutan is a huge ape.
2graves
Possibly. We basically only have shit tons of teeth from it and a couple mandibles
ErniesWidow
Christopher Walken played him in The Jungle Book. Love the song he sang to Mowgli
FiftyShadesOfMascarpone
Gigantopithecus was its own great ape genus. We don't know if it looked anything like orangutans. The skull shape & skeletal proportions ...
Whatwhatsomethingbutt
Regardless of its features, it's still a massive animal and, to me, the scariest thing shown here.
FiftyShadesOfMascarpone
were rather similar (they evolved in the same environment after all) but a lot of artistic license went into those reconstructions. For all…
FiftyShadesOfMascarpone
we know it might have had a dick nose like a proboscis monkey. There's no way to tell from the fossil record.
pollypuncher
Someone should make a movie about extinct megafauna being genetically brought back to life and in a special sanctuary
randombullshitguy
I love it, they should call it jurassic safari
CailinAmaideach
I wish they'd included bananas, or sauce packets.
juzzfuzz
Banana sauce?
juzzfuzz
Too late
tuckerx78
Jose hasn't been mentioned in a long time, I hope he's ok.
keystotheairlock
I knew Sabretooth Tigers were a little worrisome, but that motherfucker is enormous. How the hell did we make it?
WeaponizedJerk
Not that they're small, but those are clouded leopards which are pretty small.
BrazilianThunderPanda
“Hold my beer…”
ToSisPoS
Teamwork!
betamaxforever
We sold it student loans
TheWarHymn
Just need to be faster than the guy beside you.
NinjaCongo
In Sapiens, Noah Yuval Hariri theorises how early man would light forest fires, clearing the landscape from any predators, making it 1
NinjaCongo
easily accessible and sprinkled with grilled meat. The megafauna was perhaps the least equipped ecological niche to handle such a large 2
NinjaCongo
scale change of the landscape and perished first. It should be mentioned that both Hariri’s conclusions and source materials have come 3
NinjaCongo
under certain critique in later years. 4
JanglesPrime
There is a gun named Randall Carlson that thinks that the megafauna in the US were not hunter to extinction but died out do to a comet
Iloveanonymityandilovebeingnoticed
A clouded leopards is only maybe twice the size of a house cat, so it’s misleading.
Cravanicus
I mean, how does any species make it?
laxyone
With sticks and stones to break their bones. Or so the legend goes
ExTechOp
There were several "sabre-toothed" predators in different eras, convergent evolution: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saber-toothed_predator
ExTechOp
I believe "sabre-tooth" is considered to be a bit of an evolutionary dead end, because it becomes so specialized it is prone to extinction.
matshelge
We would hurt it with spears, usually thrown. When it tries to run away, we run after it. Humans don't run fast, but we can run forever.
WoopDeFrickenDoo
why, by developing all those brain warning systems that make our modern life hell of course
otiumCatulli
Large predators are risk averse to injury, we learned we could group together and throw stones. The predators learnt fast.
otiumCatulli
We're also not as tasty as large plant eaters. E.g the gut is a cat's favourite part and we have a very small gut, unlike wildebeest
Iwasntthatdrunk
strangerthanfiction1
Check out the nutsack on that bad boy.
AsidRayne1245
Should really be concerned about the huge baboons.. that sounds scary.
OOSpaceDwarf
Clouded leopards are quite small, image is a little misleading
Qendou
Humans were also about a foot and a half shorter.
Colopty
Being big just makes you an easier target for a species with spears.
dralc42
Stay in groups with an organized plan of attack. Plus spears, bows, clubs, stone axes and fire
TheSlurmFactory
Fire and spears. Lots of fire and spears
PhailRaptor
Also rocks
Obijesus
And thumbs
RubyMoonNite
LeraviTheHyena
And when to shove Steve to the ground to save our own asses
Jsupes
Did he put down a suitcase and start running? That’s a funny prank, pretend to leave a bomb on a sidewalk
iloovechips
"It's just a prank pro" wtf
CatsIsTheAnswer
"Fucking always"
CatsIsTheAnswer
But that shouldn't make us forget our best evolutional feature: always fuckung
tanebot
Yeah, holding 'em and folding 'em aren't gonna help.
LastChans
and before that, we knew went to hold 'em, fold 'em, and walk away
LastChans
when* dangit
deepfriedewok
you better count yo money
AlmightyThor117
The comparison animal is misleading, if it was shown with a modern Siberian Tiger it would be better, the largest modern tigers are 1/?
rcorens
Yes but the modern day Sabre tooth is the clouded leopard. The only thing misleading is if someone assumes they’re the size of a big cat
LoveforBigCats1984
Proportionately, clouded leopards have the longest canines in comparison to body size. Also a reason for the comparison.
rcorens
Plus sabre tooth cat is a more appropriate name because they’re not even closely related to tigers compared to other living cats
AlmightyThor117
2/? the average for the larger Sabertooth Tiger species at around 700-800lbs
AlmightyThor117
3/? They’re still terrifying because of their size but also because they hunted in packs, they just werent as gigantic as that image implies
ProfessorRectangle
Thanks Thor, I concur. Now, how cute is that spectacled bear? 10/10 would die petting.
HikariShade
They're all being compared to their closest still living relation, thats why its compared to a clouded leopard.
iusedtodream
Thank you. I wondered why they chose a few modern species.
FiftyShadesOfMascarpone
Not much bigger than a Siberian tiger. It only looks giant next to a clouded leopard, which are rather small
Theory89
"Smilodon fatalis" username checks out
Treemandeous
Still wouldn’t want to fight that bad boy in the plains.
msd3k
They were nothing compared to the Hell Pigs.
HerrHat
There should be the weight variation for homo sapiens as well, you know, for the laughs. 40 - 630 kg
spacecowboyein
Yeah I wish they compared to a lion for a more meaningful point of reference. And a black bear for the bear one.
ddet1207
I think the points of comparison are based on closeness of relation from an evolutionary perspective, but I may be mistaken.
FiftyShadesOfMascarpone
Also, the genus Smilodon lived on the American continent, so our early ancestors didn't have to deal with it. It was still around when …
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FiftyShadesOfMascarpone
humans reached the continent & stuck around for another 5000-or-so years, but at that point H.sapiens was already pretty advanced. Atlatls,
FiftyShadesOfMascarpone
flintstone-tipped spears, obsidian knives, and of course fire to keep predators away. Wolves may have already been domesticated too.
Treemandeous
Yeah haven’t you seen Ice Age?
SoundFuture
I like the postulate that basically the short-faced bear had to essentially already be extirpated for us to inhabit an area.
unannouncedguest
still a bloody bloody battle if you only have a pointy stick
FiftyShadesOfMascarpone
And a bunch of buddies with sticks that have obsidian-sharp stone blades at the tip. And torches, snarling wolfdogs, kids who throw rocks
FiftyShadesOfMascarpone
They presumably already had these bad boys too. Atlatls. 50m range, deadly accuracy within 27m. Not ...
FiftyShadesOfMascarpone
shown: That guy's kid holding a bunch of atlatl darts / javelins and handing him the next one right away. Turns predators into porcupines