The mystery of life

Jun 5, 2022 8:10 AM

kiy2

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177456

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2478

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71

The mystery of life

I'm in this picture and I don't like it.

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Observe the new lifeform parasitizing the host.

4 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Why did I hear the helms deep siege music when the camera made that little pan...

4 years ago | Likes 177 Dislikes 1

lmao

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Now to pregnancy! Now to birth and the start of new life! Forth newborns!

4 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 0

because youre a man of culture

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

You forgot the part where spermatozoa get stuck in the vaginal fluids. Survival of the fittest xd

4 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

Not pictured: so much mucus.

4 years ago | Likes 44 Dislikes 0

“Her bartholin glands were flowing the the Mississippi River”

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

*like the

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

I like thee too

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

When it goes in the wrong hole.

4 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 3

Those are some VERY large sperm

4 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

Fact: Conservatives in the US are trying to define personhood as the point where the egg becomes fertilized.

4 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Yes, for more than 50 years. You just learning this?

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Don't fucking tell me what to do with my body or my life

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I was really hoping it would grow into dickbutt

4 years ago | Likes 127 Dislikes 15

Don't give up hope. This is the internet.

4 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

I thought Imgur didn't allow sexually explicit content?!?! /s

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

It's ART!

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This is probably more sex education than half the kids in America get

4 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 13

Oh ok, more dipshit bullshit America bashing. We were teaching sex ed in America before most of the world had schools.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Congratulations that’s the stupidest thing I’ve heard today. The US didn’t exist while most other countries were teaching

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Show that to republicans, maybe they learn something. For me: that’s pretty cool!

4 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

It's not a matter of ignorance to corrupt politicians it's a matter of control, the truth is secondary at best, because it's not profitable.

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

gametes not to scale

4 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

That happened six months ago to me

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

How’d you get third trimester internet access from inside a uterus?

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

internetrauterine device!

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Not the creampie I was looking for but it'll work in a pinch

4 years ago | Likes 1081 Dislikes 13

there was a creampie on here earlier, OP didn't post the recipe though.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

4 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

4 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

4 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Everyone reading this won the swim contest out of millions of players.

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

It was a challenging wank for sure.

4 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 1

It's a fully baked creampie

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

4 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

One of my deepest regrets

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Shit shit shit Plan B

4 years ago | Likes 33 Dislikes 5

I was getting anxious watching this then I remembered I had my tubes removed two weeks ago

4 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

Ah, you got the playground renovation!

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Worst race I ever won

4 years ago | Likes 42 Dislikes 2

Except you didn't win the race. The faster sperm first suicide bombed themselves to break down the walls of the egg enough to let yours in.

4 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

4 years ago | Likes 34 Dislikes 0

4 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Anyone know who the guy on the left is? I’ve always wondered.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Really? It's Jorma Taccone. He's part of Lonely Island, along with Andy Samberg and Akiva Schaffer.

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Thank you.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Jorma Taccone. Lonely Island is him, Andy Samberg, and Akiva Schaffer. They're all pretty great writers and directors too.

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Thanks!

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

There's a few mild inaccuracies, but it's pretty damn good. Even shows cortical granule exocytosis.

4 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 2

Ah yes the conical granary halitosis. I too am a man of science

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Is it to scale? It can’t possibly be to scale, right?

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

How many women are the size of a phone screen?? Ridiculous question. Some people.

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

v

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Just kidding, that was a good one.

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

No, it's not.

4 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

If fecondation happens in the tubes isn't that a bad thing? Ectopic pregnancy or something?

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yep.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

OK. Guy here. The egg is deposited in the wall of the uterus and fertilized there, correct? Sperm don't swim up the fallopian tubes.

4 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 2

Same thoughts here, my man

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The egg is indeed fertilized in the fallopian tube.

4 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Fair enough. I don't have a uterus nor am I involved with anyone who has one, sadly. Thanks for the clarification.

4 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Legit had the same question, thank you for asking. We all learned something today!

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

And... What sort of bukkake results in sperm swimming into the vagina like that?

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

I thought the whole point of bukake was to jizz as far away from the vag as possible

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

My point exactly.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Sometimes, but relatively rarely, the little feckers do get in the tube, and get in the egg as it’s still en route down. Ectopic pregnancy.

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Late discovery =\= poor prognosis, as much better understood/favorable outcome in modern medicine than in previous medical history

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That's the thing I could not remember. Thank you.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That's not "rarely", that's the norm. Eggs are fertilized in the fallopian tube. What's rare is the egg remaining there, resulting in EP.

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I don’t want that to happen to me.

4 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

Pregnancy or being born?

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Yes

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Is nobody gonna compliment the fetus on that sick backflip into the birthing position?

4 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Sick backflip, Fetus McFetusface!

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

My baby did so many backflips and summersaults that he tied a perfect knot into his umbilically cord. Wild.

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

... How did it go...?

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I had an emergency c-section b/c every time I pushed he's lose oxygen and his heart rate would drop. It was scary but he did just fine.

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Phew! ? I love a happy ending!

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

:D Great to hear!

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Kid better grow up to be a gymnast.

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Cool... Now do one for the butt.

4 years ago | Likes 762 Dislikes 20

fire in da hole

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

4 years ago | Likes 106 Dislikes 2

4 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Here ya go

4 years ago | Likes 48 Dislikes 0

The drip had me laughing

4 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

fire in da hole

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The sperm:

4 years ago | Likes 46 Dislikes 0

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

4 years ago | Likes 51 Dislikes 1

Yes?

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This B needs a C in her A.

4 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Let's hunt together!

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Why would you want to watch a gif

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

4 years ago | Likes 305 Dislikes 4

Hehehe

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

4 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

?

4 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

He forgot to clean out?

4 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 1

Does it have to be he?

4 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

She should have just ate gummy bears the day before.

4 years ago | Likes 34 Dislikes 3

Why?

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

The sugar free variety

4 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Do gummy bears not turn to poo?

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Some porn star being interviewed mentioned how the day before anal she just eats gummy bears.

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

The idea is to eat 24h nothing but candy, so there is time to empty the colon and have very little in you. Any candy would do

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Are you speaking of the onlyfam girl that shove gummy bear down her poophole and had an accident live ?

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Holy specific scenario batman

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Or he

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

She?

4 years ago | Likes 41 Dislikes 0

Haha

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

They/them

4 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 2

I did

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

it just like gets pooped out

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

What's long hard and full of semen? Not me cause I just pooped

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

And now you cannot sleep anymore on sunday

4 years ago | Likes 574 Dislikes 4

I will be kept awake thinking What If I Was Accidentally One of The Other Million Sperm?

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Then you wouldn't be awake and thinking. Let it go.

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Fuck

4 years ago | Likes 54 Dislikes 0

That's how you got in this mess

4 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 1

Good morning from 7am Sunday here. Been up over an hour.

4 years ago | Likes 27 Dislikes 0

Not the worst thing, you gonna argue for years about education choices, becom crazy when he/she's a teenager, ah, and forget that pussy.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Baby had me up from 12:15 to 6:40am… finally got her down and now I’m up again listening to the word BUBBLES being screamed incoherently.

4 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Oooooor any day

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Swerves to the right tho

4 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Yes, but now its not the kid but the dogs.

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Did your kids teach your dogs that trick? Mine seem to play off each other to get me up as early as possible

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

They do. It makes you wonder if we just both opted in for the automatic alarm feature in our life settings.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

?

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yo! That’s me! Go lil me! Go!

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I got tomorrow off too.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Hubby sleeps in on Saturdays, I sleep in on Sundays. And we cover each other's naps.

4 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Same here! High five : )

4 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

This is a great idea, love the partnership. You guys rocks!

4 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

You also might need to eat out...

4 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Eating out is only polite...

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I'm not sure that's vegan tho.

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Lol my son woke up at 6:50 am today, ?. You never sleep in again.

4 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

Not until they learn to use a remote anyway.

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

12:15am wake up here. Bad stomach flu and doesn’t want to be alone or asleep. Worst night in 17 months. I’m on 3 hours of sleep… fuck

4 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I am sending you all the good vibes. You’re a great parent, this too shall pass. Hope the little one gets better soon.

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Awh that was sweet of you.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Our LO wake up is 6am so we can get ready for day care on the way to work. Goes to bed at 7:15 tho so that’s good. Stay asleep tho lol

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I can‘t believe I made it this far

4 years ago | Likes 36 Dislikes 0

Right?!

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Ngl I sort of wish the other sperms won

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

If I remember correctly it's not the first one that gets dibs...gonna look it up now...

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yeah the first one that connects isn't the one who "wins", shame I won.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You meant you can't believe you've cum this far, right? Right???

4 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Butt in the end, it doesn't really matter?

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Right!

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Fun fact, that divided clump of cells that implants into the uterine wall is called a ‘blastocyst’

4 years ago | Likes 93 Dislikes 1

And in some states it has more rights than I do

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Maybe if we refer to Abortions taken before the cell's developed into sentient life as an "AntiBLASTO-Cysterectomy" people wouldn't hate it.

4 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

4 years ago | Likes 28 Dislikes 2

When I found out I was pregnant last year and I learned this word, it’s what I called my baby until I met her! She’s my lil blastocyst

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

So if you take that to Dr. Pimple Popper...

4 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

It may be illegal to pop it, depending on your state.

4 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

I didn’t know there was a preferential left or right ovary effect… does anything unique happen left vs right?

4 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Usually only one releases the egg(s) that month

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Fascinating! Do the left or right ovaries do anything different from each other?

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Nope! Functionally the same. No material difference between left or right ovary.

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I’m glad to know about this, I just think human biology is so interesting. It takes so many mechanisms for us to be alive, it’s so cool.

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Usually we ovulate one egg at a time, alternating sides. If both ovaries release an egg, possibility of fraternal twins.

4 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

I didn’t know that, I’m so happy to learn about this… can you feel it if it’s on one side vs the other?

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Yes you can feel when you ovulate,which side it happens.Sharp pain in a dot,left or right.

4 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

I’ve never heard of that, I’m so thrilled to learn about a new thing about women’s bodies.

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

No. We can’t feel the eggs. But we sure feel when Mother Nature decides to get rid of it through uterine contractions during your period 1/2

4 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Some people have spotting and cramping when the egg releases. It's called 'Mittelschmerz'.

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

2/3 and in order to make our uterus start contracting our bodies release a lot of hormones that also have the side effect of making 2/3

4 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

So Republicans want to give every sperm there own gun

4 years ago | Likes 27 Dislikes 0

You mean you don’t look at that googly clump of cells and don’t think ‘aww what a cute baby’? /s

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

*their

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Wasn't that the name of the dude from Wolfenstein? BJ Blastocyst, ancestor to Commander Kewl and Doom Bro.

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

At some point it was a zygote. Lost a game of scrabble to my godfather because of that word and never forgiven him…

4 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Should always be pronounced similar to the spanish word for mustache as well. "El zigote"

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Sounds like a Pokemon

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

And just like Pokemons, pregnancy is a sexually transmitted disease. Gotta catch em all!

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Pokemon are a sexually transmitted disease??

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

man sperm and eggs are way bigger then i thought

4 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 4

Not sure if you're joking but this is not to scale at all.

4 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 2

The overies are only 3cm-5cm

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Sperm cells are among the smallest cells in the human body. And egg cells are, by far, the largest.

4 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 1

The most massive neurons can get close. (Well, about 1/5 the size, but it's the same order of magnitude at least.)

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

You don't need a microscope to see a human egg cell.

4 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

.... what exactly is the egg in the eggmuffin sir?

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Horned lizard.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

"man sperm" I laughed that you had to specify ??

4 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 5

I think he just missed the comma

4 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

better than missing your period

4 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I wouldn't say I've been*missing* it, Bob

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0