AllAnusMorissette
118193
1522
25
Tom Segura
https://youtube.com/shorts/vA7H-oq4UW0?feature=share
Jul 31, 2022 6:22 PM
AllAnusMorissette
118193
1522
25
Tom Segura
https://youtube.com/shorts/vA7H-oq4UW0?feature=share
chatwin
200,000 messages and e-mails? Kay.
softballguy
Kakeukh
HAH!
SmithersReleaseTheHounds
Bert should be less fat
TheAdjuster
He should probably stop fucking dogs first if he wants to lose any weight
PoliticsGivesMeDKweeF
Bert is fat!!!
D4rkmatter
And obnoxious
chaseNC
Muh Sheeeen
Sparky81
I heard he's racist too
DagothWit
He also fucks dogs.
aerodynamit3
The most racist actually
elten
TIL Creole https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Creole_language
MarsIsAfire
Today you learned Creole??
elten
The phrase, to be precise
TawdryArt
Living in Louisiana, I can say that tracks.
dixxienormus
Now you'll have to explain it to the rest of those citizens who didn't complain.
XplodingUnicornGlitter
Saw him a week ago at the Ball Arena. Hilarious, but I definitely prefer small venues for comedians
TheAdjuster
WHERE ARE THE BODIES GARTH THE FAMILIES NEED CLOSURE!!!!
Skevoid
FYI it's pronounced SeGUra 'cause he's Japanese.
sodalis
The redder the state the dumber the people.
TheDeathstick
Unfortunately he can't even change the joke to Texas and get away with it because he moved there.
sodalis
Fuck Texas. I'd never live there.
datphone777365
some, well sorta. the "smarter" ones would be the ones getting filthy rich off their willing victim compatriots. though long term yeah they
datphone777365
still fuck all stupid.
WhatDeanerWasTalkingAbout
The special where he makes fun of La people and the way we talk is 100% accurate though. I watched that show, and before it started (1)
Grenateh
Yea offense but I can't stand Creole accent people. Just absolutely can't stand.
WellAckchually
WhatDeanerWasTalkingAbout
2) my dad asked “Is he one of the [small La town] Seguras? I went to school with a few” in that same gravely weird voice. We are absurd.
OhMyGodWhoTheHellCaaares
“Did you just ask me if there’s a red box around here?! I don’t fucking work here!”
gummibearslayer
He still tours in this state too. I got to see him when he came down and the show was almost sold out
BecauseImSparklesBitch
You have to be cajun not think that joke is funny.
DePhyler
He should post a.bunch of the best ones
Shaodyn
The wall we really need is one between religion and politics.
HiHowAreYou92
The thing is most of the politicians arent actually religious. They just use religion to get votes and pass laws to make themselves money.
Shaodyn
Which is why we need to actually enforce that line in the Constitution about separation of church and state.
AmyBethMegJo
I am a Christian and a socialist, and I absolutely agree.
datphone777365
weird combo, with how abrahamic faiths are totalitarian as far as the mythos is concerned, even got the wild fits of violence by the leader.
[deleted]
[deleted]
datphone777365
nvm the games "god" plays by unleashing pain and cruelty upon its creation because of a plan eh? who did jesus represent again?
Shaodyn
I just can't win today. I apologize for upsetting you with my wrongness and stupidity.
datphone777365
suffee while serving "god" and maybe you will get to serve again eternally in "its" paradise. helluva way gun to wave at a victim eh?
Cataleast
Reminded me of Carlin's State Prison Farms bit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NqZBXxuT9aE
Hiboredimdad
On the bright side,the death threats are moot, they won't be able to find him on a map.
Bojovnik84
Seguuuuuuurrrrrrrrraaaaa. Sounds Japanese.
FatBastardVegetarian
Funniest (related) joke i heard, "A wall needs to be built between Trump's brain and his mouth."
SmithersReleaseTheHounds
Hey mommies
AchDuLieber
Louisiana. What a shit hole.
bubbawasmybestgoodfriend
to be fair, it is a dumb fucking state
jadda123876
I live there and I agree
DeadeicPrints
You ain't wrong
RatsLiveOnNoEvilStar
As someone born and raised there, but left several years ago… yes it is
ChefHannibal
AllAnusMorissette
thegrimtrigger
Our motto is At Least We Aren't Mississippi
AmbroseWolfinger
Not the dumbest of the Southern states, but way up there on the list.
Dasnekones
The competition for that prestigious title is fierce
layinginbedfeelinglikeaquesarito
I hand it to Northa Carolina for the number of people I met with their “don’t tread on me” “personal freedom” while being the cunts they are
randomitguy
Fourth from the bottom of that list I believe. I live there... Which really doesn't say a whole lot about me, really.
imafarmer
Also a fellow Louisianian
IAmTheKiltCommander
Hey, we’re just happy you can count to four.
Soldr4hire
Thank the gods for Mississippi.
parallaxHero
And even they aren’t as bad as Arkansas
AmbroseWolfinger
Erm... I suppose.
jetact12
Let's put it Round Texas. They already have a wall in the south. They could build a mote!
SoberAndBored
You SHOULD build a wall on the border with Mexico, but it should run along the top of Texas, not the bottom
Grenateh
That's not the border with Mexico.
Grenateh
Who even gives a fuck about his jokes. His god awful Joe Rogan level Tomfuckery on podcasts is more than enough to hate this assclown.
lucidbarrier
Aww man I thought this was Louis C.K. it's just Joe Rogan's friend
PineappleLoopsBroether
After Joe was induced to whatever secret society that bought him, the crew was never the same…. But Tom is the one guy who’s still funny.
shuttlecockinakumquat
He's the only one who was ever funny.
PineappleLoopsBroether
His show is terrible, but his specials are great. Dude can tell a story……. Ari is still good even if I don’t like him….. Bert is garbage….
amp99
Should do the same for Florida, Oklahoma, Arkansas, and Delaware.
DracoDan
And a double height wall around Ohio...
InViUnius
Texas would be the first on the list for me. Lunatics.
Alavar
He does in this special. Right after this he said he wouldn't have talk so much shit about Louisiana if he had been to Arkansas before lol
DrClaww
Treblaine
Florida would be the easiest.
Orangebacon1
Don't bother, we'll be underwater in a year or two.
ReverseTrapTsukasa
comacomacomacomachameleon
can't do FL. Need the tax revenue.
DumbShitIsMyTrigger
.....Delaware?
Kwaipuak
Slower lower!
TheWorldAccordingToAtlas
You know what you did, Delaware.
dumbanddumberquote
I read that in John Oliver’s voice.
amp99
See, people don't question the inclusion of the others.
DumbShitIsMyTrigger
I mean I still question the why, but I'm pretty sure we could just kennel Delaware. Like in one of those little pet carriers
amp99
Yeah, I just included it as a joke. It was the least consequential state that popped into my head.
DumbShitIsMyTrigger
Dangerous game to play, you risk getting up to 3 angry emails
isthisjunkmail
BIKES! Bless you, Tommy Buns.
TexasRed19
Keep ‘em high and tight.
ChewysHairball
THE! FUCK! YOU! TOOK?!
PineappleLoopsBroether
HOLD.. My POCKET!
jbcars4life
GET HIM! No Him, Him...OUR Him.
PineappleLoopsBroether
and they were like WUT!?
LordOfThePenguin
And I was like, “I’m OUTTA here”