GwensBackOnHerBS
15190
358
70
Jul 29, 2026 12:40 AM
GwensBackOnHerBS
15190
358
70
Imustntrunaway
Oh it's true. The kind of understanding, willingness to learn and make sense of it in the discord calls I'm in, just to get up, walk outside my room and instantly misgendered by whichever family member talks to me first. It's crazy to think some people have never thought about it, don't, and won't think about it.
MrAcurite
Enby in a Discord I was in was fucking obsessed with academic and professional prestige. It was either Harvard MBA into Wall Street or bust. So they had figured out that gender was a malleable social construct, but not prestige. Like making a half-court shot and then airballing a layup.
MasterMookie
Yes let's paint genders with a giant brush. Nothing bad can come out of it.
Harko3030
Love my trans friends, but literally all they talk about day in and day out is being trans. Totally fine, but if you spend all of your days talking about being trans, you can't realistically expect non-trans folk to be as knowledgeable or interested
Leonon
AnythingMuchShorter
I feel like it's one of those things that complicated mostly by people wanting to layer a lot of complicated rules on to it, and then add a lot more complication by trying to either force those rules to be the only ones, or try to make them align with a reality they never matched to begin with. If you just let people be who they are you don't need to know every nuance. That's only needed if you're trying to judge them, and maybe if you're just really interested or want to date them.
PackedCatMeowingPowerDensity
Or maybe MAAAAAYBE do it respectfully instead of treating the general populace like a toddler? And maybe dont take the pitfall of generalizinc cis people like bigots do with trans people?
Swedishbouldering
Im trying to figure out how many years ago it was i used gender att all. When the fuck do people use it? With babies, fine but grown ass people?
SergeyPrkl
I'm not sure even what you mean. In my language, there is no diference between gender in general. No He/She system, and in casual speech, people calls other people as "it".
Swedishbouldering
Thats exactly what i said. I never use he/she mr/mrs etc in daily speach.
SergeyPrkl
Yeah and when you are born into it, it makes lot harder to understand why you should separate people from other people. People are people, no matter of their opinion, skincolor, what kind of consensual sex they like to have... etc. Assholes are assholes and great people are great!
jostnick
Talking with people who have studied knowledge in a topic vs people with a baseline understanding of said topic.
Eddyrock
I’m cis and I completely get it.
SkyEvelyn
Too true! 😜
cuttlefishsticks
Hey if your response to this post is some version of "how dare you make generalizations like that!" Maybe take a second and realize that you're just not the target audience for this post. Trans people are people. We get frustrated, and we share our frustrations with our community. And yes, often those frustrations mean making generalizations, because whether or not you specifically are a harmful cis person, that is still the group responsible for all the hate we face.
cuttlefishsticks
If you can honestly say you're not one this meme applies to, then it's not about you and you're not the target audience, so just move on instead of complaining that a highly oppressed minority group had the audacity to not be perfectly nuanced in a meme.
Feralkyn
Can you apply the same argument to racist jokes? If so, it's a shitty take.
cuttlefishsticks
Punching up is fine, punching down is not. It's a pretty simple standard. So yeah, any people of color wanna make fun of white people, I'm not gonna say a word against it.
mwipfband
I lived with acceptance, support and a society tailored to not just succeeding but actually owning other humans. The bigot that does no harm does not exist. I was always fine taking my free pass and losing friends, without realizing it. The true pain a bigot who merely accepts the status quo for it's benefits is felt by those around them, who will not remain.
hsalonen3000
I am cis male. You are probably better off treating me as a 3-year-old when talking about genders. But atleast I don't misgender people on purpose ..
Cookiesnm1lk
could someone explain this meme to me? alas my brain is refusing to understand it. :(
MadHatter69
Trans people are usually well versed and informed in gender-related topics, whereas most cis people don't bother to understand the nuances of gender fluidity and think that only males and females exist, which makes it hard for anyone to explain the intricacies of those topics to them.
VinchVolt
additionally, cis people are incredibly likely to view gender as static or treat recognition of transgender identity as contingent on good behavior (see for instance deliberately misgendering trans people who do bad things), and on top of that are generally intolerant of portrayals of trans people that aren't punchlines, mouthpieces for erasure, or excessively idealized (see for instance the widespread backlash towards the last episode of the amazing digital circus).
IMPICKLERICK
The amount of times I have to share this post is crazy =S /gallery/29BM5FL
GeneralAnubis
Saving that one, thanks!
redundancy
single image with full link in second to last pic
TheWormthatWalks
Oh thanks! I saw this once but forgot t bookmark it.
Fifofu
This is ridiculous! I find it outrageous how a single continuous text is split into 30+ mini blocks, and then stored as images! Separated images! And they posted as they were writing, no reviewing and editing for clarity?! Do they even want information to be understood?! /jk
raminagrobis
This accurately depicts the sex spectrum. The biggest flaw on social media is to label as gender what are really is a spectrum of biological sex. It leads some people to think it’s all psychological when it’s not.
ErgodicAnomaly
Probably not as many times as I've gotten hate for saying sex and gender are bimodal.
LeekofLegend
Marilyn Monroe was apparently XXY. it was one of my first arguments
5v4297j9fj1
”apparently”😂
redundancy
See also this infographic from Scientific American
redundancy
Source:
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/beyond-xx-and-xy-the-extraordinary-complexity-of-sex-determination/
SleazyBijou
I’ve never seen this and find it helpful.
DeadeicPrints
Ouch, not wrong tho.
PackedCatMeowingPowerDensity
Why do you need to do a "us vs them"? Do you want to divide people so badly?
neithermenoryou
Do you want the meme to be short and snappy or an entire essay to capture all nuance?
Also you do the same thing so many engage in some self reflection on why you're mad at others for something that is very normal: /gallery/they-really-are-ZGqMZkH
PackedCatMeowingPowerDensity
I am literally afraid of talking to trans people because I dont want to hurt them nor want to be hurt by venomous backlash. I can understand it is tiring to have to correct every other person but seeing everyone else as idiots is counterproductive.
neithermenoryou
It's a meme, the point is to vent about something that happened. It's not a personal attack against you or anyone else.
Trans people are also just normal people so most will not crucify you for an honest mistake that's paired with a simple "sorry, my bad" as way of apology.
Dipshits exist in every group, that doesn't mean you have to generalize them all to be crybabies that you have to walk on eggshells for, or like they're the devil incarnate.
FacelessAce
Wait, I have a meme for this:
https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/average_familiarity.png
PackedCatMeowingPowerDensity
Nonono, people not personally affected will never learn! That's why 100% of cancer doctors contract cancer themselves. It results in a horrible turnout at the diploma ceremony.
FacelessAce
RuminatingYak
This is just how it is when you know a lot about something and the person you are talking to doesn't.
candythesquirrel
People are naturally interested in different things. What could be a cornerstone of your personality might be just a quirky hobby to someone else. It's not really fair to berate people for not being up to date on something very niche for them.
OnlyWantToSayOneThing
Bro, cis people will say "I'm Robert, but I go by Bob." And then 6 seconds later say it's impossible to remember the person with tits goes by "she." Calling people what they want to be called isn't a niche hobby, its what humans have done since we invented language. You just don't see trans people as worthy of caring about enough to remember 1 piece of information about them, you see them as objects to be described like "red ball" rather than remembering their name. 1/2
Feralkyn
"Cis people" is lumping literally everyone together. PLENTY of cis people have no issues with that, so it's a shitty thing to post and a shitty "meme." If you (general you, any topic) want allies you can't start off by alienating people who are already allies and friends.
OnlyWantToSayOneThing
Yeah it would be better if it said "99% of cis people" or "the AVERAGE cis person" but the existence of outliers is implied.
candythesquirrel
It happens to cis people as well. There are men who don't look manly or women who don't look womanly, and they occasionally get misgendered. It is annoying, yes, but I don't think justifies portraying cis people as clueless infants.
OnlyWantToSayOneThing
When it comes to a group of people that want to put trans people into forced conversion therapy camps or outright murder them, its more than "annoying." Youre supposed to think "I'm better informed about gender than average, I'm a pretty cool person and think lgbt people deserve to live, I'm better than this meme" and move on because that is the subtext. The average cis person is hrossed out by lgbt people and being an outlier should be a source of pride. 1/?
OnlyWantToSayOneThing
Grossed not hrossed* autocorrect is so weird.
OnlyWantToSayOneThing
Sure, it would be a better meme If they used "the average cis person" instead. But I'm sure people would still be commenting about how gender is just a hobby and it's slightly annoying to be misgendered. 2/2
OnlyWantToSayOneThing
In fact, when a trans person changes their name, it is common for a cis person to stalk them and learn their deadname and purposefully call them the wrong thing out of spite and then say "i don't understand this trans stuff. Its just a niche hobby." It literally take MORE memory to call someone the wrong thing. 2/2
Zetor
As a tall white cis dude living in the Nordics, y'all have my support.
ThatOtherGirlYouKnow
Oh god yes. The self-congratulation on @Shenaniganz80 post the other day from cis people 'oh its okay if you misgender your trans friends, I do it all the time' was disgusting. Trying to talk about any gender stuff with nost cis people... urgh.
yamsonyamsonyams
Cis people are the worst, they are stupid and ignorant
Why can’t they accept that everyone is equal?
CocoPuppyFlyer
Why can't you accept that not everyone is the same? Not all CIS people feel the same way.
yamsonyamsonyams
I accept that everyone isn’t the same
GwensBackOnHerBS
I often dont notice if people misgender me.
albaboss
One of my trans friends says they never care if they’re misgendered as long as it’s not done with malice
RonnieSoak
I generally reply with as long as im not "it" either works
GeneralAnubis
The hardest part for me is my trans friends who **I know** are trans, who trust me enough to share that with me, but are not ready yet to be "out" about it and so I'm stuck in a confusing space of how to refer to them when I *know* their preference but must keep up the appearance outwardly, also at their request.
So.. it can be messy, but anyone who intentionally does that ***against the wishes of their friends*** is absolutely an asshole, what the hell.
boevis
As a cis person: fucking what? I hate having to correct fellow cis-people, sorry you have to deal with so many like that. Like, I'm "I stopped going to a grocery store because they rearranged it in a way I don't like" autistic, and it's really just not that hard to change what you call people.
albaboss
Man I knew a friend as cis fem my whole life and it was hard not misgendering them at first. Luckily they know everyone makes mistakes and where super patient and kind with me
VagrantKoba
But it is okay to misgender trans people. IF IT IS GENUINELY ACCIDENTAL, OR YOU'RE UNAWARE.
SnakeyNL
i've had that with an online person in a chatgroup, only ever heard her voice.
I defaulted, talking about her to my girlfriend and said "him". ( i thought she was gay )
I made that mistake ONCE and ONCE only. It's really not that hard
locksmith9
And when ya do, the proper response is "oh, sorry, my bad," and then getting it right in the future. Not that hard...
MeowstophelesTheeCatMonster
Our Intersex Self looking around, because we were born Intersex, constantly get mixed up with trans, but in a weird way, we're still technically cis. ...Meow. But also we're great with talking to about genders so wheeeeeee!
DYLANLEE79
Pfft intersex isn't real, the internet wasn't even invented until 1989. /S
MeowstophelesTheeCatMonster
.... Are you...? Honestly, with how humans are we cannot tell if you are joking, trolling, or being serious... Really cannot tell anymore, which is scary and sad, but yeah...
Skevoid
Just an FYI the /s at the end means that it's sarcasm... or you knew that already and just missed it.
MeowstophelesTheeCatMonster
We've been told this so many times, but we know others who use /S as "SERIOUS" rather than Sarcasm or srly. So. Ugh...
DYLANLEE79
Joking.
MeowstophelesTheeCatMonster
Oh! Thank you! Phew! You have no idea how often we here tha in a serious way. Like pigeons being drone spies and the world being flat. We thought tha those were jokes, but apparently there are others who are very very serious on tha being true. So we never know...
DYLANLEE79
Pigeons are naturally flat, the government inflates them to use them as drones. /S
GwensBackOnHerBS
You identify as cis?
Is that because your gender happens to match what they put on your birth certificate?
LeekofLegend
Careful, this sounds a little pre-judgy. And I know you didn't mean it that way, word choice can be important
GwensBackOnHerBS
What sounds judgy about it?
PackedCatMeowingPowerDensity
The whole second sentence was unnecessary. I feel people partaking in this discussion perfectly know what cis means.
MeowstophelesTheeCatMonster
We don't identify as Cis, we identify as Intersex. Our Birth Certificate lists us as Intersex (and due to the country we live in, our Birth Certificate is now invalid. We don't want to change it, but we need a "Real ID", but the DMV isn't recognizing our Intersex Birth Certificate. Long Story.). But we do get called Cis because we haven't technically changed our gender it still matches our original Birth certificate. We're Intersex and in Gender Limbo =<
HowlingRollercoaster2
Can you tell me why you say "we" and "our"? Is it plural, or something else?
MeowstophelesTheeCatMonster
It is a DID thing, not any kind of gender thing.
LeekofLegend
I'm sorry I can't even imagine what that is like to deal with, and to have to be so 'casual' in society again 😕 no matter what, I think you're the bee knees 💚
MeowstophelesTheeCatMonster
Thank you. It is rough. All of our trans friends and family eventually adjust to being who they truly are. The ones tha don't wear trans pride stuff, don't get noticed or called out and get to live in peace fur the most part. We don't want to transition one way or another. So now and furever, we will always just be stuck. Thank you though! We think you are nice too, Meowy! Also, are you the Leek tha Farfetch'd holds? =O
GwensBackOnHerBS
Do you feel stuck identifying as intersex? Or do you just mean stuck with the paperwork.
spinbutton3
Gender Limbo sounds awesome! Do you use Xe? (The coolest of the pronouns)
MeowstophelesTheeCatMonster
Gender Limbo is great, except when it comes to legal things. =^>x<^= It/Its Pronouns. It is wha we have been refurred to our whole life, so we adopted it/its out of spite hahaha!
spinbutton3
That does sound inconvenient....and nerve wracking especially these days. Thank you for indulging my nosiness. Best of luck to you
GwensBackOnHerBS
That sounds really difficult. Sorry you have to deal with all that.
Is intersex considered a gender? I'm not sure I've thought of it that way. I thought it was a sex.
Like female is to woman, male is to man, and intersex is to... nonbinary?
Also I think "cis" and "intersex" are often considered different axes? Like "cis" is a modifier for a gender to indicate if it aligns with the sex on the birth certificate?
I guess I also didn't realize some places put intersex on a birth certificate.
MeowstophelesTheeCatMonster
Intersex is both a gender AND a sex. We don't like "nonbinary" because the word itself assumes sex is a binary; male or female, when intersex has always existed as a third sex. Yeah, it is very hard to get Intersex on a Birth Certificate, ours is extremely rare, there is maybe 100 intersex birth certificates here in the US? Most "obvious" intersex babies get forced surgery after birth and with tha, their birth certificate is adjusted to match wha they were made to match. Thankfully, not us!
GwensBackOnHerBS
I'm very glad you missed that torture.
I'm very sad for the countless who did not...
What happened that like 100 people got intersex birth certificates but no more?
powwerbottom
Highly recommend reading "Reverse Cowgirl," it's fascinating and beautiful and very informative on this subject. You will look at the world in a new light
MeowstophelesTheeCatMonster
Hmm... Alright, we will check it out! We always like reading new LGBTPQIA+ Books, but in our opinion "Middlesex" by Jeffrey Eugenides was peak! First book we got to read about someone else who was intersex! ...Although, not the same type of intersex as we are, it is still nice!
GwensBackOnHerBS
By McKenzie Wark?
azazyel
Nice generalization there
TorrentialUpPour
neithermenoryou
GwensBackOnHerBS
lmfao
QueenOfTheFey
don't wear the shoe if it doesnt fit mate
MaterialismBoy
Oh no, how dare a member of an actively persicuted minority group generalize about a majority group, clearly you're one of the good ones
azazyel
It's not even clever, it's just lazy.
Feralkyn
Nah fuck off with that. It shits on everyone who has empathy and actually keeps up and does the legwork to NOT be an asshole
MaterialismBoy
It really doesn't if you don't view it as heroic and brave of you to know things and you start viewing acknowledging scientific fact as the bare minimum level of basic decency towards your diverse community members, but by all means, please continue to reach me down here where you're punching, it looks great for you.
Feralkyn
That's an insane take, too. "Brave and heroic?" Nobody said that. And saying "don't shit on entire groups of people for the actions of some" is not "punching down." That's the entire point.
MaterialismBoy
Literally nobody did that, ever, at any point, please have a nice day and try to reflect on why you think any of what I said is hurtful while you're in this thread calling me insane and coming to the defense of people who did not ask that of you and do not need it you to like you know anything about how I treat others or spend my time.
MaterialismBoy
And as a final thought please don't do the internet thing where people think that because a person bothered to actually say something instead of posting a gif and forgetting about it that I'm mad or trying to argue with you in general. I wouldn't have replied at all but you are edging being right and I think that if you just take one step towards empathizing with the POV I expressed you'll come to understand something invaluable that could genuinely really help you. Sincerely. You're so close.
MaterialismBoy
Which is to say more plainly, congratulations, you have defended the cishetronormative patriarchy against the terrible crime of generalization. I, a trans person, must be made aware that I'm an insane monster for not acknowledging the diverse understanding of every cishet person with my every word and breath. Or maybe trying to police the way oppressed people talk about their experiences is kind of a defensive place to speak from. So why of all the people expressing the same thing pick me?