asdfgirl
90679
1952
118
Mar 26, 2017 10:38 PM
asdfgirl
90679
1952
118
tajashal
Reading the comments on Imgur, it seems as though there are a lot of Darwin award contenders here. I.e., people who choose not to have kids.
NiklasSkur
SendMeAllTheMemes
My kidsb well never do anything anyone else's kids are doing. Mainly because I will never have kids.
Deanscream
Some people do have kids that will never do anything :(
DougTheLlama
wasn't one on the FP recently?
Deanscream
No clue, if there was, I'm sure it was sad.
absentee
I was always 5 more minutes Dad. When she goes to college next year I'm cashing in reciprocity right at drop off. 5 more minutes, please.
buttcrackula
ChiefMasterAirmanFirstClassSelectInCharge
The facebook single moms have evolved.
misteragi
Yes. These. True.
georgecostanzalatexsalesman
That last one is perfect
themuttonisniceandlean
My kids always liked to poop right before they fell asleep so they'd wake fully up again during the diaper change.
WannieTheSane
I suggested making one of those boards with the various locks to amuse our toddlers, my wife asked "you really want to teach them 1/2
relaxyobatty
Didn't think of that.
retardarsauce
It also looks like a good place for fingers to get caught.
WannieTheSane
to open locks?" Me:
v
LovelyLadyLumps
It's a good idea in case they get locked inside a room. Happened to my husband the other day. He had to get a credit card to open door.
MoxnesMonster6
He locked himself in a room? Maybe he should use it to learn how to unlock doors too.
WannieTheSane
I honestly thought that's what she meant until you made that joke. I was like "but... my baby doesn't have a credit card?"
IDidntKnowWhattoMakeMyUsernameSoIMadeThis
#1 ... why not both?
thxph
Ahahaha!! I need to have a kid in order to relate to these. I don't have one. And now I'm depressed. Thanks a lot.
AlmightyDiapahbetusGarlicGerbil
I'm so glad the only "kid" I got is a catsnake that loves biting the shit outta my ea- I'll be quiet now..
BulletWhole
agreed...100%
MageFace
#5 is great for building their motor skills
EdgeGod
#5 probably not a good idea to let your kid play with pilllboxes
tooomanysteves
Very true.
DisorderlyChaos
#5 parents love it when toddlers unlock things, know how to pick up the phone, use electronics, activate lights, etc
Notme68
They do it anyway, might as well give them some decoys
EnigmaticAss
Sweet dump. So much truth. Especially the poop meme. I'm so tired. Father of a one year old and a 5yr old.
actualMonster
EnhanceEnhanceEnhance
Are you me? I somehow have learned how to nap with my eyes open...
avastmehearty
I remember the time meconium came spewing out while I was changing the diaper. I love other people's babies now, glad mine are growing up!
georgecostanzalatexsalesman
3 year old and 11 month old boys. I hear ya
IUsedToBeAnAdventurerLikeYou
I was going to write something to cheer you up, but I dozed off half way through. Too tired to come up with lies about it becoming easier.
SiriusLeeBlack
Must have been from taking an arrow to the knee
BurtTurglar
Having to go back to changing diapers after 1st kid potty trained. It's like openin bills, you know it's not good news & may ruin your day.
SiriusLeeBlack
When my toddler figured out how to open doors
SaguaroSun
We found out a week and a half ago that Tiny Terror can. We were ... busy ... and she barreled in, shouting about how she opened the door.
SpecimenSpiff
My daughter is just now grabbing doorknobs. It's a mixture of "Oh, that's neat! New skills!" and "Oh goddammit. Greaaaat."
MotherOfJerkBabies
Just wait until they figure out the fridge.
Segagenesischalmers
When my 2 year old simply takes the snap together 'baby proof' off the handle like it's nothing.
catweasels
This happened 2 weeks ago for us...
ardeeo
Same here!
GatesofAphelion
So accurate
ardeeo
Just went through this with our second kid last week. Ended the era of privacy and keeping her contained lol
blahblahghost
Holy fuck, yes. I had to know that having a handle instead of a knob on the front door would lead to problems eventually.
BanadecCamberbootch
I worked from home for Apple. My (now 3, then 1) 3rd kiddo figured out how to open doors and it was like the scene from Jurassic Park. 1/
MetroidPrimeHesTheBest
We recently moved into a new house with all door handles instead of knobs. I'm terrified. My kid is 16 months.
BanadecCamberbootch
I was on a call and everything. https://media.giphy.com/media/uiUxKxCFP7R1m/giphy.gif
BatmanDoingKaraoke
Thanks for the laugh that's gold.
SiriusLeeBlack
Lmao my boy is one and a half and it's still like that!
ScenicCarpenter
Imgur's stance on children confuses me. We love memes about how terrible kids are, but downvote posts about hating kids?
NoggDog
#5 Kid's going for the BRRLRLRRLTRTLRLTTTT. He's been raised right!
eclect0
#5 "his kid"
Robvp
Yeah it looks like he can give himself an accidental lobotomy with that
GlenGaming
And this is why I don't have children
Ilikeitwhenyoucallmebigpapa
Easy solution! Don't have kids.
PuckeringButthole
Where was this 3 years ago
Robvp
A lot of these seem like parents who hate having them, others seem like they had them to feel validated, personally i will never have them
khaleesimotherofkittycats
Lol they don't hate their kids. It's just the funny and shitty quirks of having them. It's not always sunshine with children.
SatansNeighbor668
I don't see why the, "You never buy me anything" picture is funny/truthful. I don't think things like that should be considered gifts. 1/2
LaughOrDieTrying
How's life up on Mount Pious?
SatansNeighbor668
I don't understand.
SatansNeighbor668
2/2 Maybe I'm just different. Idk. That stuff is kinda healthy for good lives though.
theironWombat
God my mom pulled that bullshit up until I moved out. "Well you don't NEED electricity or clothes or water do you?" She's still delusional..
SatansNeighbor668
I'm sorry, man. That's whack as fuck.