mindnumbingbraincandy
19820
759
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I feel tired. Exhausted.
Hope theres goodies in here. Theres about a hundred.
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This might date the dump a bit
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This sounds pretty good tho
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Slap that egg
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(Ted Kazinski. Shame about his views on women th
I mean my mom and dad were deadbeat crackheads. But otherwise.
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Someone make this so I can embroider it on everything
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Wrote this upside down on my tits once. Good times
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nikinnorway12
#1 i hand write all my rejection messages. it's not fun, but it's honest work.
sgnight13
#17 What a terrible day to have eyes
IlluminaBlade
#6 If they had just figured out mathematics the Tower of Babel would have been unstoppable.
Oh no, we can't understand each other? Shut up and follow the blueprints.
GeorgeCostabaplaps
#32 one day we'll run out of sycophants, and it will be a blessing.
erinaceus
thesres a famous ferrari that was disassembled after racing. the chassis was sold off separately from the bodywork. each buy added non original replacement parts and now each claims to have the original car.
ExTechOp
#77 Chūnibyō (中二病; lit. 'middle-school second-year syndrome') is a Japanese colloquial term typically used to describe adolescents with delusions of grandeur. These teenagers are thought to desperately want to stand out and convince themselves that they have hidden knowledge or secret powers.
— https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ch%C5%ABniby%C5%8D
UltraLincoln
#32 the "upright sushi restaurant" was a chain
byronwilliams4010
#57 I just can't see Trump knowingly doing ANYTHING that would help California.
JohnThatcher
These events predate the demented cheeto.
Snooj
#1 Rejection letters do not come from email addresses you can reply to. Source: the last 16 months of my life.
UltraLincoln
#57 California pistachios and the Resnick Family are part of why the state has so many water problems, too
swofromtherock
#26 This is the most Hitler shit ever.
Tackyellow
#5 President of the United States of America
gnomedeplume
Please, prestige went away long before Twitter for that position
byronwilliams4010
#23 My family used to restore antique aircraft, and during the reassembly of a 1930s Stearman biplane the control sticks came up missing. They were eventually found in the chest freezer on the back porch.
ChelVanin
#33 They just invented magical runes.
4chanrefugee
#27 Britney Amber and Sasha Foxxc
LobotomyPending
#55 He could've at least lined up the nips
IndependenceHallPhiladelphiaPA
#12 get that AI slop outta here
MonkeyFunkingFunker
I'm waiting for the spam link to be added
quade
#1 is the best response to that rejection letter.
gnomedeplume
Literally "my work here is done"
AndTheArghnauts
#36 this is simply a practical application of the Banach-Tarski-Theseus paradox
JohnThatcher
A thing is the continuity of its parts, not the parts themselves. Even with every piece replaced, the Ship of Theseus is still the Ship of Theseus. There is an uninterrupted continuity of parts. And if you were to build a second ship out of all the replaced parts, that would /also/ be the Ship of Theseus because someone would have to keep track of all those parts to do it, maintaining a continuity. Much like a cell that undergoes mitosis, the resulting cells are both the original cell.
ChelVanin
OnlyWantToSayOneThing
I would say it's closer to conservative replication DNA as the first ship is MORE ship of Theseus than the spare parts one. The first strand of DNA gets unzipped, a copy is created using the first as a template, then the dna is rezipped while the copy then goes off to do it's own thing. In the same way ship1's continuity is more strict. It has a higher % of continuity at once for a longer period of time. Thus, paradox still exists, "which ship counts as MORE the ship of theseus"
AWarningToOthers
#1 I will do you better. Company sent me a boilerplate rejection letter and then three weeks latter they call to schedule an interview.
eronth
I got hired at a company and a few months after starting they reached out for an interview.
allergictocantaloupe
I once got a rejection letter from a company that I worked at. I had been working there for like 3 weeks, got a rejection e-mail for my application. Not sure if they had a new person in HR, or if it was an AI or bot thing? I didn't mention it to anyone at work b/c I thought something dumb might happen.
AWarningToOthers
Smart move.
Zeterai
I keep getting emails from a company that fired me because three levels of management refused to respond to calls or emails when I had to go on medical leave, so none of the paperwork got done for it and they saw it as having abandoned the job. HR sent me a final warning via FedEx, but went on vacation the day they put it in the mail so they also ignored all responses, and the timeframe elapsed before they got back so they just closed the case.
Six years later they still send me job offers.
ElaineTheNPC
#25 No because they ain't on no government list. They straight don't exist, no names and no fingerprints. Don't you remember? I guess you got flashy thinged. They're not under the U.S. government or any government, so they wouldn't answer to DHS or ICE or whoever.
LookingLikeASnack
I was hoping someone had said this. The MIB *started* as a branch of the US government but became an independent organization after making first contact. They're funded by the patents they make using alien tech, not by taxes, and they're a worldwide organization. They're also a profoundly pro-immigrant organization.
ElaineTheNPC
Yes that's a very key message! They're pro-immigrant and also are anti-prejudice too. Anybody from anywhere is allowed, no matter what they look like, as long as they're peaceful and can avoid causing a scene.
Bystandr
SpottedDickSandwich
Also note the 1925 one has like 60 annual rings, and the 2025 has 8.
Bystandr
commonly warps. If I dont cherry pick boards at Sleggs, its a nightmare of hockey sticks and arches.
redsmerf
#9 Yeah. And?
QuatermainFT
the mitch post being under this one seems appropriate, for the 'used to. still do, but used to, too.'
PackedCatMeowingPowerDensity
#9 Thought I was better because I did not. Turns out I was just gay and cranked it to Street Fighter's Zangief.
Bucushin
No surprise there, he's a bear that fights literal bears.
PackedCatMeowingPowerDensity
WeakReference
Did you want to have head crushed like melon between powerful thighs? :>
PackedCatMeowingPowerDensity
Maybe?
jsmith99
#4 Can someone explain this one to me, please?
Jarjarthejedi
"e" is sometimes used as slang for the hormone estrogen.
jsmith99
Thank you.
TheVampireDante
E = Estrogen.
jsmith99
Thank you.
shitheadtookmyname
Who abbreviates it this way?
I've never seen it, even on Tumblr
allergictocantaloupe
#91 The shoe thing is probably dry rot. If you own shoes for a long time and don't wear them, they might explode and turn into powder. This happens a lot with dress shoes. Kind of funny, but people wear their dress shoes for the first time in years, go to church for a wedding/holiday, walk inside and their shoes explode. Probably a non-zero number of people had religious conversions because their shoes exploded when they walked into church.
OrionRex
That makes more sense than what I was thinking. I thought they were newly purchased shoes, but from a shipment that wasn't properly diverted to the *other* warehouse. IYKYK.
HarperLee
Happened to me on my wedding day (to save money I wore my own shoes). Had run to the mall in the tux and running shoes to find another pair that ended up cutting my heels open.
Knifesmith
I've had this happen with a pair of old high tops (late 80's vintage) that I had stored in the box for years. With the foam/rubber powdering like that it's more likely loss of the plasticizer.
With dress shoes (presumably leather) it could indeed be mold/some kind of fungus.
allergictocantaloupe
A lot of dress shoes (if you're poor) have rubberized soles.
NotAParsnipInDisguise
When it was just the local scradge deposits losing their potency.
Definitely nothing to do with those people over there mixing shoe polish with Footo The Wonder Boot Exploder.
IgnisInvictus
#17 It wouldn't climax because it would bleed to death as a result of multiple ruptured organs from the insertion alone.
Also, what the actual fuck?
GenericValue
Dude you gotta let him finish before you rupture his vitals. That's just courtesy when fucking birds or other cloaca creatures.
gnomedeplume
Why are you thinking about fucking the duolingo bird as much as the op
Chair5768
JohnThatcher
You are now picturing a Duolingo owl large enough to do it without injury.
IgnisInvictus
The good news is, I have no idea what the duolingo bird looks like, otherwise, yes that might be stuck in my head, fuck you very much.
qtRaven
#86 Get Your Ducks in a Row Boat
GeneralWho
THANK you
ArcheiaSophiaMetatronsWife
Thank you! I couldn't figure out the last word
gnomedeplume
She should have seen the Cs were already revealed
LtRooney
Also, the I's.
Vorphalack
Ok, but the point of the joke is that she's getting the answer wrong, so we shouldn't be surprised by that. We needn't notice it, even...
4chanrefugee
#13 my uncle left his Model 15 to me. The same gun he fuckin' shot and killed himself with. My cousin gave it to me in an old cigar box. I immediately pulled out my jack knife and cut a notch into the left grip. Eric shit a brick asked me what the fuck I was doing. Told him „updating it. One confirmed kill, no?“ he still won't talk to me
nocheese
I bought a Taurus PT 92S in 1994 from a widow. Her husband Jerry took his life w/ that it, Jerry had terminal brain cancer and went out, bought all kinds of toys, traveled, got married and partied before declining. In 2001 my roommate used it to shot an intruder in the shoulder who kicked in our front door. I had a hard time getting it back from the police department. In 2024 I taught my 12 year nephew to operate a full sized pistol with it. All kinds of history with this one.
shitheadtookmyname
What I get from this is you're trying to get your nephew to kill himself
nocheese
Absolutely not. Some kids like to shoot firearms, some like to windsurf. Someone with experience shows them the basics without drowning or putting a bullet in their foot. Get over your trauma and go mountain climbing. Maybe it'll teach you to stop being a shit bird.
Cornflakes91
i understand your reasoning. but. bro. dude. pal. friend.
BenYourFriend
You called?