LokiDoke
93196
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Jul 27, 2020 8:38 PM
LokiDoke
93196
3415
95
StanAgde
That took such a strange funny twist
JackYouMagnificentSoB
This is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen on the Internet
Crosseyedcockatoo
dadjokesRlife
I just...the whole left a man un-peed on. I nearly pissed myself laughing.
mikeatike
"Like a man who wished everything was different"
Flyinglasagnamonster
He’s been carrying a jellyfish with him ever since.
toonsniped
Great fucking story. Laughed my ass off.
PrinceAsh1taka
(Whisper)"Yeah."
TakuanSoho
"yeah..." (How I imagine he looked)
924Carrera
My dad, RIP, used to SCUBA dive, and was also a smoker. He told the story of how he was deep underwater one day when he started to have a 1/
924Carrera
coughing fit which led to vomiting, and almost drowned. He surfaced, threw his cigarettes in the beach trashcan, and quit cold turkey. 2/2
Locolarue
Goddamn, that, uh, that would do it for smoking for most people. Jeez.
brucom
I don't care if it's true - it's a good story.
sjs260563
for the first time...
ianb93
And that man was ... Donald Trump
isrslydunnoman
God I love piss play
grammarcrossingguard
This comment made this post.
Rignak
Yeah. Caught that too.. interesting.
Icanhearwhatyouresayingandtheanswerisno
It WAS a life changing experience
Skuggen
Well, once you get a taste for it... (which is not the same as a taste _of_ it, but hey, we don't judge).
camn333
Just because you like being pissed on, doesn't mean you are less of a man/woman. I heard you could even get to be president after that.
ridureyu
For the VERY FIRST TIME
railski
Definitely not the last!
OhMyGodTheyKilledBrianYouBastards
That man is now the President of the United States
ridureyu
Mom died in a scuba diving accident on their 40th anniversary trip.
hillbillybarbie
I’m so sorry
jointdawg94
Scubakkake
USAFDutch1
Damn it. That was good.
Imgerruinedimger
waitwtf
You're a national treasure. Man that was a good laugh
Ransbear
Golden diving?
Gayforbae
DarksteelPenguin
joeyzasa
I was a Dive Master for a charter company in a lake in Upstate NY in the late 80's. "Sir, you can leave the spear gun in the car.."
joeyzasa
BEST. JOB. EVER. Was 17, 2 summers running 2 charters a day, 5 days a week, it was a glorious time.....
usernaimunavailable
This was so skillfully written
ItHurtsGettingHitByACar
That last part of #5 made me audibly laugh.
hotdoginathermos
...and Pissboy's name? Donald J Trump.
odinsravenscloaca
You know sausage lips was super pissed afterwards.
kyyyyyyyle
ba-dum tiss
TheBestSpiderQueen
or discovered a new fetish
Fugitoid
Better pissed off than pissed on- oh wait...
elephantwasher
They have a ball pit at IKEA???
MyleKeville
‘He’d gone out a man who had never been peed on’ might be the best sentence I’ve ever read.
maninthedarkness
And now you just read it in Morgan Freeman's voice. Cheers.
Infreani
Thanks man
Deafguy8
“... yeah...”
IFoundOutThatYouCanHave63CharactersOntheUsernameHowCoolIsThat
"I had never seen anything like it, i mean where would I have?" did it for me.
welluhwhatdoyouwantmetosay
That's some Hemingway level there.
mithiwithi
Clearly wasn't a (good) father, then.
Cortezdelanoche
Move over bible. THIS is the greatest story every told.
Dontsteponthemomerathz
“Yeah...”
railski
orbitn
Aren't you supposed to carry a knife when scuba diving, you know, because if something goes wrong down there like sharks, getting tangled,
orbitn
etc, you have a chance or a way out, either 127hoursing yourself out or slipping free of your mortal coil to become one with the sea
curmudgeon64
Sharks are not an issue. Tangled? Maybe, esp. if you’re inside a wreck but still rare. Leatherman’s multi-tool is much more useful.
DaveSamsonite
As a scuba diver of decades, this story seems implausible. a party ai large would have several dive masters and one would stay w a Novice
DaveSamsonite
But if this was really how it happened, you should have complained
WombatWithWholeWheatWish
Well, that was quite an entertaining story. Thanks for sharing.
NachoPete
I had no idea where that was going & got sucked into the story. Well done.
LuigiEyetalian
I usually have to pay people to piss on me :(
Baggsy13
Never had that experience diving. My wife ran out of air once, just before we reached the surface. Guide was busy taking pictures.
plainoldusername
Psh, loads of people go diving and run out of air... once
googlegoggleoneofus
Uh... just like anything else with fatal consequences, if you die it’s your own damn fault. I hope she learned to check her gauges.
erbiumyttriumytterbium
Oh good grief. That guide was a disgrace. I dive, and I’ve never had that experience with a guide or instructor.
Julyfirefly
There was a newlywed who killed his wife this way. Purposely messed with her tanks on their honeymoon. Males me ever want to try it or learn
JayEnfield
I assume you mean marriage.
dopperpod
There’s no way your wife is certified if she made such an amateur mistake.
googlegoggleoneofus
Resort certifications are routinely jokes though. My dad has some stories...
DanCoopersTie
Diver here, you and your wife fucked up by not caring enough to take care of your own life. shity guide or not. Please never dive again.
AngeloSchilling
She shouldn't have been able to submerge if she was out of air; her tank should have been so bouyant it'd have popped her up like a cork?
googlegoggleoneofus
Not if she’s weighted correctly.
AngeloSchilling
you're not weighted for neutral-bouyancy on an empty tank, you're weighted for it on a full one.
googlegoggleoneofus
False. You weight yourself to be neutrally buoyant with an empty BC and empty tank by being 1-2 lbm negative with a full tank.
googlegoggleoneofus
How do you expect to do a safety stop if you're positively buoyant at the end of the dive?
ComputerWithFeelings
Fuck, is she okay?
maninthedarkness
Who cares about that? Is she single?
kalcaitus9000
stay classy, imgur stay classy
Baggsy13
Yeah, she was less than 10' from the surface. But no air left for her BCD. He must not have expected her to use air so fast. 1/2
Sharksi
I had a malfunction at 17 meters deep. Had to buddy breath until the instructor could reach us. Scarry but still love diving
acme64
BCD?
DaveTheScientist
Air filled vest used to control whether you sink or float.
Baggsy13
She was on his aux for a while too. Hope he got good tips from the others. I wouldn't want to refill that tank. was in Galepegos 2/2
Baggsy13
* Galápagos
mikeatike
Why would you not want to refill the tank?
Baggsy13
It can get more easily contaminated and eventually fail.