Was about to hire a freelancer, but figure I might as well help out an Imgurian instead

Dec 3, 2019 10:02 PM

WeaselBandit

Views

120988

Likes

2812

Dislikes

120

I'm not sure how you will all react to this, but here goes:

I need an app and, as the title says, I was looking for freelancers, but I figured that if there was an Imgurian who was in need of some freelance work, I'd rather help you out than someone else.

And of course, by "hire" I mean that you will get free exposure... in addition to getting paid for the work that you do. (Since some people are getting confused about this... It's a joke. Of course I will be paying for the work. Exposure is BS)

I had already made a project on freelancer.com so you will be able to see all the details here:
https://www.freelancer.com/projects/android/Need-android-developer-for-one/#

.

EDIT: I am going to bed now, so if this goes to the Front Page I won't be able to answer for a while.

A little information based on the comments so far:

- Yes the price-range on Freelancer is "capped" to $250 but as I explain in one of the comments below, that doesn't mean I'm expecting someone to actually do this for only $250.
People are still able to, and does, bid more than that.

- I thought there was more but I can't seem to find it, and I'm too lazy to find another way to phrase the sentence explaining this.

- Could also be that it's because it's 2:36 AM and my brain thinks that this is pretty funny.

- In fact I think it's definitely that...

- ...

Exposure is by no means BS. It's only BS if there isnt money too.

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

It would be an interesting experiment to hire a few of those developers and see what sort of quality you'd get at different price points.

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

6 years ago | Likes 581 Dislikes 1

You son of a bitch. I'm in.

6 years ago | Likes 35 Dislikes 0

50/50. Final Offer.

6 years ago | Likes 51 Dislikes 0

Glootie-ootie-ooo!!!

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

THAT EPISODE. THIS POST. THAT MEME. Life is wild man!!!

6 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 0

Dead ass thought about this

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

As i worked with freelancers don't expect something designed well and working stable

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

For that price

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

As an Engineering head, I want to know how this turns out.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

fk off and say what u want up top

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

@op try using Google sheets. Basically Excel but it's all online. You can setup dropdowns ,conditional formatting all sorts of cool stuff

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

You want a webapp really. Easier to deploy, update, works everywhere, really a better medium for this stuff imo.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

GL though, my guess is 1-2k. Anything less than that I wouldn't trust. Communication is key.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Do you want to develope an app?

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Scheduling, and in a broader sense anything to do with time, is sooo much more complicated than you can imagine without doing it.

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I charge tree fiddy

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Sounds like you need Click or Xora

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Love the part about mobile pay(fellow Dane here, so I can see why it would be useful) hope you find a programmer to make this

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Having been pitched to a thousand times: The idea is worthless -- the many engineering skills to make it happen can be worth billions.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

This is a browser based // web app. Don’t need to complicate it by mobile.

6 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

Instagram could have started as browser/web, but then it wouldn't have sold to Facebook for a billion...most likely. Depends on target demo.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 3

Well it could be that he wants it for mobile

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

Rin it on a server access it from any browser.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This, yes! A great example of unnecessary implementation details in a product pitch. It narrows your candidate pool, inflates build cost...

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

this does not compute

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

There is no need to create a mobile application as he is the only one using it. Webpage is simpler and better in every aspect

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

who's hosting?

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Hosting company

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

the point being that you're roping the person into carrying costs that may not be necessary.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

v

6 years ago | Likes 40 Dislikes 1

Can I ask what it is?

6 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 1

Of course you can. That’s always the first step in app development.

6 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

.... 50-50 FINAL OFFER!!

6 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 1

How much exposure are we talking here?

6 years ago | Likes 392 Dislikes 4

You'll probably get cancer? Is that enough?

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

6 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 1

5/7, and front page

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I mean the judge told me that too much exposure is what is getting me sent to jail, so I'm guessing that you shouldn't ask for a lot.

6 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

At least 3.50

6 years ago | Likes 422 Dislikes 3

I'd need at least 4 exposures. I'm out.

6 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Well it was about that time that I realised WeaselBandit was about 8 stories tall and was a crustacean from the Mesozoic era

6 years ago | Likes 67 Dislikes 0

(aka: tree-fiddy)

6 years ago | Likes 30 Dislikes 1

Yes

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Exposure

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Full frontal

6 years ago | Likes 82 Dislikes 0

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Oh my God, it's the goat!

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Is your username perhaps a reference to the Carolingian empire of the 7th century?

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yup. Chaz the Great, Charlemagne, creator of modern Europe, First Renaissance instigator and a whole lot more. What a guy.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

6 years ago | Likes 36 Dislikes 0

Basically. Once I hear or read the word "exposure" I'm out lol

6 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That was where I decided this was not for me. Would have at least thought about it but... "Free Exposure". Hilarious.

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Is it not coming across in the post description that it is meant as a joke?

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I think the clarification was a good idea. It was dry which I usually appreciate but had about the same non-ironic tone someone would use 1/

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

You want to pay $250 for a whole app?

6 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 2

As I mention in the description. No i do not.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

It surely wasn’t there when I commented.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

People on free lancer: I’d like to buy a car for $250, it must look like a lambo and have similar specs. V8 or I’m not paying.

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Yeah. I make iOS and Android apps for a living now and that number is very dissuasive.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Everything before the MobilePay thing seems like it could be easily solved by just using Google Sheets to keep track of all of that.

6 years ago | Likes 86 Dislikes 0

Google Sheets plus Google Script?

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

The amount of times we have clients asking us to develop something that could be done in GSheets is crazy.

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I've worked in companies that have entire information systems in Excel spreadsheets. It's just not scalable in the end.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Absolutely but the guy is a self employed window washer afaik. He doesn't need an app. Or he should get something already done.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You know how many "Self employed window washers" I've met who built their business on an excel spreadsheet then lost it all in a failed HD?

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

None, but I've had other small businesses fail because they relied on a single point for their business data. OP is taking the next step.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

We are using excel now, but we have some specific wants, that will require something more complex.

6 years ago | Likes 51 Dislikes 2

I am going to be honest with you. Your project seems very much in line with the requirements for a project management app. One reason 1/2

6 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

some developers are able to give you such low bids is that they already know they can pick up the basic framework from codecanyon.net or 2/3

6 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

some other developer site, and modify to suit your needs. The result may still be acceptable enough. Still, be wary and select wisely

6 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Like what? Maybe some macros in Excel will help you out

6 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

Nothing like some user form action

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My partner in the firm has been working fulltime as a planner for a large factory for 10+ years, using excel. He has been able to make ->

6 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 1

<- an amazing offline system to organize everything. But it's just too complicated to use excel on a phone. Plus macros don't work on them.

6 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 1

So SmartSheets then

6 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Op, as a dev, the best app for you is an app that already exists.. which i can say almost always does. I'm sure youll be able to find it.

6 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

@OP don't waste your money on this. Just get good book keeping software or a CRM. Like Salesforce or FileMaker...

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

For sure. My company’s devs did something similar for a client and that was around 35-40k in cost. Customer was super happy in the end.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Truth

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Try to generalize the app so you can sell it. Because at some point android will update and it'll break. Use the sales to pay for updates.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

That is one of our future plans if we find a good solution. There could be a large market for what we have in mind in the end

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

good luck. Nice of you to offer money.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 3

Why is it nice of him to offer money for a service he should pay for

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

because a lot of people don't

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Don’t offer money on free lancer?

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Look for a react native dev then. It can be written for iOS and android and you don’t have to worry about it breaking that much

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

oh boy. I've spent 2 years developing in react native. something breaks every RN release and sometimes it has taken a while to fix

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

When working on the bleeding edge, prepare the bandages

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I lag behind by one release so that I get all the patches. definitely not looking forward to 0.62 when I eventually upgrade to it 1/

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

WTF use a web app with media breakpoints like bootstrap.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm a manager of software engineering and have been in the tech field for almost 20 years. The folks bidding on your project are not bidding

6 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

reasonable amounts to do a quality, professional job.

6 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

I’d probably take the guy asking for $1k as he knows what’s required to complete the job and more likely to do it right.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I can see as much from their proposals. I really don't understand why they would bid on projects without reading the description.

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

I think it is notable that the only folks who put "MobilePay" in their responses (as you asked) are the two highest bidders. Still, I don't

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

see someone doing a quality job in a week. Maybe the one asking for $722? Stills seems really cheap but I like that he put down a reasonable

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

time estimate (20 days).

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

They are bidding $250 levels of quality.

6 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Because they want to take advantage of you, send you something cobbled together, super poor quality and expect you can't tell the difference

6 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Serves OP right if he takes their bid. Software is hard, it’s not cheap to deliver high quality.

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 2

That's what you get when you try and use an image sharing website as a marketplace. Imgur not the place for this. Good for word-of-mouth tho

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I upvoted it so it's at 69 now

6 years ago | Likes 430 Dislikes 11

Not kidding, I upvoted it so it got 69,000 just now! We're of a kindred spirit

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Oh wait that's views

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm retarded

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Just super dumb

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Lol it's okay, we make mistakes, at least you realized it quickly!

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Didn't upvote your comments as it's 69 now

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I down voted for 69

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

6 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

Nice.

6 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

Can we get it to 6969 ... Asking the important questions

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Nice

6 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 1

2 more for 669

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Just upvoted to put it at 420

6 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Doing God's work

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Nice

6 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Eyg I just upvoted it from 1069 to 1070. Good luck @Op

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Nice

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

it's at 96 now !

6 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 1

I made it 666

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

888

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

.eciN

6 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

I made it 111!

6 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

143

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

419

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

420, I win

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

At first I was positive you meant customer instead of costumer, but after seeing 3 more times, I'm really starting to have doubts

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Costumers are the sort of customers that end up costing the company more money than they make. The coupon ladies.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

One of the perks of not being a native speaker... Thanks for the assist. Did not know I've been spelling that wrong all this time. :)

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Oddly, That is an extremely common mistake for Danes; it’s not just you. No idea why. (American immigrant to Denmark)

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Intredasting... Might be because to first syllable sounds like a Danish "o" in some cases?

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Det giver mening, men det ved jeg ikke!

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Honestly though having heavy dealings with fleets of costumers sounds pretty amazing, so maybe just leave it

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Just out of curiosity, does this have to be a native Android app, or can it be a hybrid app, or even a mobile site?

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

As long as it functions as it's supposed to, the platform doesn't matter much. A mobile site could work, but I'd be worried about security

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Most sensitive things would happen server side in that case, unless you mean authentication

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm thinking more of customer information. Hundreds of customers' personal data and such. And all these new GDPR regulations.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

6 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 2

50/50, last offer

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

No thank you, Glootie.

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Question for Freelancers: Why is there such a difference in the bids? Some are $100 and others are $1000+?

6 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Mostly it is country based. A guy from Indonesia is used to a much lower rate than a guy from the UK. Also professionals vs new freelancers

6 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 7

Op doesn't have a specification. Request is vague at best. Ask a builder can you build me a house with a few rooms maybe a pool later etc

6 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

And then marking the budget of the house $300-$2500 in the hope of finding someone who can give you something good for that little.

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Yep. Best idea for everyone is to be very specific about what you need. The first job is to decide the technology stack then the tasks

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

What op said. a lot of people don’t realize how much work goes into even the simple things. Like a nice login screen may take a couple hours

6 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

I do mobile dev for a prominent US payment app and to make this app I'd be bidding 15-25k over 3-6 months, and that's best case.

6 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

And see, this is where I get confused. Because another one has said pretty much the same about himself but given a quote of 2k and 2 weeks.

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Most entry level devs make upwards of 20 an hour. 250 is a 13 hour budget. That is enough time to make a buggy form to an api and test it

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I ended up hiring someone who delivered a very well made application within a month for $1500

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Much more reasonable time frame. I hope the ended up actually making minimum wage in the end

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The lowball is either A) Lying. B) Incompetent. C) Planning a simple low tech javascript framework app/website that does nothing.

6 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Freelance, means $100/hr cause 37% goes to taxes. 30-40 hours to architect it, 150 hrs building, 50 hrs bugfixing, 50 hrs user changes

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

And upwards of 80 hrs for any misc issues. That's roughly 330 hours. Anyone who says they can do it for 140 bucks in 7 days is full of shit

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Although if it’s just for a single user I don’t think it takes that much work. You can use google calendar api for scheduling.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I would agree with that. 3-6 months seems excessive. Maybe a month. - Android Lead, ~7 years of exp.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

3-6 months only because it's not the only project I would be working on. There's a price premium on ASAP projects.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Why give an estimate including other work if he's just asking how long it'll take?

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'll do it. How hard can it be to learn android programming overnight?

6 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

Top comment

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Just YouTube it, you’ll be fine haha!

6 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Not very. It's the non Android stuff you'll get hung up on

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

The scope of work is pretty high for such low pay. Sending text from an Android app has considerable implications as well. If you just want

6 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

To email sms gateways, you can do this with a webapp easily enough, and for cheaper...but still. That's a big ask for $250 usd.

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

Android app usually means phone, which means you use the phone's SMS which is easy peasy.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Are you unaware of Android's security model? It's not necessarily straight forward depending on app requirements.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Either the app requirements are needs SMS or not.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Oh ya, my bad. I thought the same restrictions applied to sending as they do to reading/writing sms db.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The range on Freelancer doesn't mean anything. I don't expect to find someone for $250 (Explained in another comment above)

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 3

Then just be honest about your budget.

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 3

Why? That's how you get fucked on price.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

There is a monumental difference in expecting $250 for several thousands of dollars of work and getting fucked on price.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

He explained it. If he capped it higher, people wouldn’t be able to bid less.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

You definitely don't want someone who bids that little on a several thousand dollar project though.

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

They should never bid less. Being very generous, any bid under $1000 should go right in the trash.

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

250 dollar cap? Is that per hour or...

6 years ago | Likes 86 Dislikes 4

This app would probably cost $20k to develop.

6 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 0

Yes, we let corporate poons screw us on this deal.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

Finally someone says it. 15 to 20k is still reasonable for what he wants. But who knows, maybe some sucker will do it for a lot less.

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

He is going to 100% get what he pays for

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

The caps on freelancer is rather arbitrary. I chose this because if I had chosen the next tier, people wouldn't be able to bid less than 250

6 years ago | Likes 82 Dislikes 2

That is insultingly low. You should have gone up a tier.

6 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 32

Insulting low is 'Yours can do it for the exposure! '

6 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

People are still able to bid above the tier. I've worked as a freelancer a lot myself using these websites and I personally hate it when a->

6 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 3

<- an employer has over estimated the job and gone with a tier above what I would offer, forcing me to give an offer that's higher than ->

6 years ago | Likes 27 Dislikes 3

<- what I actually wanted. Besides, I don't think any on that site actually pays attention to these caps, because of those same rules.

6 years ago | Likes 28 Dislikes 2

My Jr devs make 40$/hr at the lowest. Most small mobile apps are 200-300 hours of work.

6 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Jr devs make 40 an hour? Are you on the coast?

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

California yeah, but we're inland. I'd be surprised if you could find a legit full stack eng jr position in LA for less.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

What about remote workers?

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Montreal CTO here, juniors make 20-30$/h. But what's more relevant here is that the average rate for freelancers is 90-120$/h

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

20-30 including benefits right? I'm in US-CA and the $40/hr is just the raw conversion rate. They also get 3% matching, 95% health + more.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Usually comes with an insurance plan, partly covered by the employer, sometimes a performance bonus and access to an RRSP plan.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Well i would hope nobody would bid under. If you're talking American rates, this is easily a 5k - 10k project. An interesting one for sure!

6 years ago | Likes 71 Dislikes 2

I am aware of that. Same if I hired a Danish freelancer. But it is an international website and sometimes you can get really good deals. :)

6 years ago | Likes 47 Dislikes 6

You won't get quality devs at $250. Also, you having the devs do the UX? I hope you have mapped out everything in detail for them.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This is a hella begging vibe holy shit

6 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

on getting a good deal: i work for asian companies, software quality over there is abysimal, it works for now, but its unmaintainable

6 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0