BottomShelfVodka
3376
85
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Sorry, had to reupload after realized I doxxed my son.
Here's the gist of what went down.
Yes, I call my husband @FrothyStout Mr. Bay. Shut up.
I stayed quiet and out of it until my husband/partner for life finally cracked and spoke up first. I never sent any messages without reading them to him first. I respect his boundaries. I have, however witnessed him being gaslit and manipulated over the past 14 years, and stayed quiet for these 14 years. I think that's a decent amount of time to stay out of it. Husband called it quits with his family and I doubled down with support.
I was SHOCKED when we were replied to with a PDF...by his father nonetheless..even though I do assume his wife wrote it since the third red dash lists my FIL's name in third person. If she didn't write it, Chat GPT sure fuckin did.
Kirb stomp drama break
Here's the update:
I decided to write out a Google Doc following their PDF line for line matching the "tone" of their Chat GPT written bullshit
Deaf cat Magoo (short for Oogala Magoogala) tax.
Shoutrr
that's what happens when you have the "luck" to have a relationship with someone who only thinks in transactional terms and how they can take advantage of everything and everyone to get "on top"
noone1415
I know this doesn't mean very much, but you have my deepest sympathy, and I'm sending you a virtual hug from several thousand miles away. I can't offer you any concrete advice (and, indeed, the situation is probably too personal for any advice to be any good) but know that I hope that you and your family find somewhere where you can live happily in the future.
dreammer243
I've dealt with people using AI like this, that's what this PDF deal was 100%. They (she, probably) wrote their complaint, then fed it to ChatGPT with the instructions to "make it more likely to go over well". ChatGPT is a tool manipulative people are seizing on to become even more effective. Like a toxic ex who's been to therapy but took away all the wrong things.
dreammer243
Anyway, sorry that you've had to deal with someone like this in your life. $6000 isn't a cheap way to flip someone the bird but no one can claim that it was only or truly the money you cared about.
IMPICKLERICK
this escalated so fast. The initial "no. Why would I joke. Send me money" is bad but the pdf is crazy. That means they wrote it (or AI'd it), reviewed it, tried to send it but probably got a "this message is too big to send as a text" error, and instead of trimming it down or deleting parts said, "nah, I need to include this guilt trip portion", and then saved it as a PDF to send.
That shit is intentional.
SilverFoxChaser
Honestly it's just a lot of stupid unnecessary drama. The money isn't in the mother's name and they don't live with them so all of this crying is just OP not having the ovaries to say 'no, fuckoff'.
draek1
I'd have cut ties after like the second message tbh, parents should never hound their kids for money
TKpotato
Same. Years ago the government here gave u 2.5k for having a kid. I claimed mine, back then I did tell my father I would give half (not that he needed it, I did though), and when I told him that I wouldn’t be able to give half because I really needed it, newborn baby and such, he harassed me constantly, 60 missed calls and threats to show up to my apartment. Was awful, I was 19 and in a rly vulnerable situation. Blocked and no contact for years
Pilgrymm
RumailMaxlowBaronVonAlabasterSerenitydePeriwinkleXXIII
Why is anyone downvoting this?
Pilgrymm
It can probably be misinterpreted. I commented yesterday that I didn't think the greedy grandparents should get any of the 6k, but to each their own really.
I raise my kid like what's mine is his honestly and I don't want greed to get in the way of his success.
SometimesOthertimesAnytime
I really don't get why you're even playing their game. Should have got the check and said fuck off. If they had taken you to court, counter sue and include attorney fees. If you couldn't bring yourself to do any of that, put a disclaimer on the check that once endorsed and cashed, all contact (directly or indirectly) must cease.
RumailMaxlowBaronVonAlabasterSerenitydePeriwinkleXXIII
Lot of time and no guarantees it works out well. Grandparents can afford a better lawyer and will be more willing to spend more money. All that over a couple grand. Better to give up the money they weren't expecting and burn the bridge. Quicker, cleaner, sends just as good a message, saves their time and money.
BottomShelfVodka
The game is over now. They've played these mind games with him for so long that I didn't want to just leave it with a simple "fuck you." What hurts them the most, is not having anything to hold over our heads.
SilverFoxChaser
Some people need to just fucking learn to say 'No' and 'Fuck you sue me' your life will be a LOT easier OP.
BottomShelfVodka
They can sue me though..that's the thing. They are petty enough and we'll off enough to do so if they truly think the money is there's. We can't afford a representative though. We'd wind up losing the entire $6,000 in court costs anyway. At least now every time they spend a dime of it they'll have flashbacks to this moment
SilverFoxChaser
So make them sue. Fight them. Counter sue for court fees and harassment. Take their house.
BottomShelfVodka
I don't have energy like that though. I don't hate them, I just want to be heard.
intaglioguy
Make them sign a receipt for the money. Make them sign a receipt for everything you return. Make them document their decision. Consider getting their signatures notarized. Drive that wedge deep so they can't wiggle out from under it later.
BottomShelfVodka
Even after everything was said and done, she still thinks this is owed to her.
Just know. Her asking us to "keep the remainder" is still her *doing us a favor*
We do want the money, it would absolutely help us move...but this is money well spent if you ask me. Easy come. Easy go.
intaglioguy
Because your monster-in-law will change the narrative later.
SometimesOthertimesAnytime
100%.
amphibiousone
I'm really sorry this has happened to you all. It's terrible to have to lose loved ones over money, and you will spend years enraged and saddened this happened like this. I mean what kind of parents?? Insane. Cutting them off hurts, but between this and the restaurant story they've shown who they are. I lost my sister a few years ago (I cut her off) and it still sucks today but overall I'm happier. I am really truly sorry this has happened to you though
BottomShelfVodka
His father being the one who sent to the PDF was for sure within the top 10 anime betrayals of the year.
TKpotato
She probably got him to send it cos she was too coward herself and pushed him to do so, knowing what would happen, but thinking it would make him be the one to deal with it. I’ve been through a similar-ish situation over 2.5k, but I just blocked everyone and went no contact for 10+ years
BottomShelfVodka
I really don't want to lose contact with his dad. His mom is so fucking toxic though
TKpotato
It’s gotta really hard in that case, for you and for dad too :/ I hope eventually it all works out