MadamPuddifoot
28076
621
31
We had a great conversation last night and talked about meeting up at the IKEA that's halfway between us. Exchanged texts this morning, including him confirming we were still on. I got in the road a little early cuz anxiety, but didn't hear from him for over two hours and finally asked "did you get eaten by a monster?" and he replied "lol sorry, no, I'm just getting ready".
Then he asked me if I had left yet. That's the last text I got from him. I don't know what I did to deserve this, but it was my first date in like 3 years. I'm devastated, embarrassed, angry, crushed... And hopeless. Maybe it's time to admit I'm just not made for someone and I need to learn to get over the loneliness. I just want to cry. I'm a good person, goddamnit. I deserve respect and love.
SprinklesMckitten
i got ghosted by a woman on bumble, got a free cookie from sympathetic staff.
waiting in confirmation at this very moment if i can give a real woman flowers in the middle of her busy work day
OhIfIMust
What the hell is WRONG with these people??
Imtheguywhogetsawaywithit
Better to cry and let it all out rather than bottling it up to be unleashed uncontrollably later.
kitskinner19538
Maybe his wife got hold of his phone and then got a hold of him!
LariCheltsy
SometimesOthertimesAnytime
I am so very sorry that happened to you.
Hoblum
All my homies hate Dave. Also, I cannot stress enough that online dating is not good for anyone. What you experienced is a normal outcome sadly, and not a reflection of who you are. Please try to not internalize this as something you did wrong. You don't know why they stood you up and blocked you.
somerandomusernamebecauseididntlikemyoldone
one thing I learned is to assume failure at the start, but behave with optimism. Say yes, hope for the best, but prepared for the worst. Quite a lot of contrasting feelings and thinking but it means that when someone fails me I take it in stride, they are dead to me, but my day isn't ruined and I will just make the most of whatever effort I put into it, plenty of solo dinners/drinks that I still enjoyed. Your deservedness doesn't come into the equation, but they clearly don't deserve you.
GBMaker
For what it's worth, you may commiserate with us.
WalkingInMyShoes
He probably got cold feet, but he should have been decent enough to be honest about it. You probably weren't looking for a coward anyway? But I totally understand your disappointment.
ErindorGhostPope
Look on the bright side, you avoided a date with an asshole.
sugarsharkshack
Probably used all his good material on the phone call, all downhill anyways
WeatherWiz
You did nothing wrong. You’re a good person and that’s all that matters. They didn’t see you as a priority and t’s their own loss. They probably aren’t a genuine individual themselves, so you dodged a bullet. I’m sorry you got caught up in that. Dating apps are rough. But you seem like a great person. You’ll get through it! ❤️
https://media2.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTY1YjkxZmJlODdibnUzNG1wbDNnM3N1M3U4NXZmZTd3dzJkejR4dnByaDh3OXZzOCZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/ZBQhoZC0nqknSviPqT/200w.mp4
clayartist64
It took me 8 months on match.com. I had zero responses from anyone. I wrote to many women, too. Then, in January, 2021, I met...Her. We went through some ups and downs, but in December, 2022 we were married. Never give up, no matter what it is--especially on love.
ZIMISME
Sure it sucks but look at it this way, you found out now he's untrustworthy before getting emotionally invested. It would have been nice to have had a go I guess but it would only suck so much more more.
songbird811
Look up Wordcasescenario on insta. Learn burned haystack method for dating men via apps.
RestlessVagabond
You did nothing to deserve it. He only hurt himself by missing out on all you have to offer. Keep your chin up and don't let the assholes get you down.
ruint
FFS Dave
dogmatix
That's Unhinged
Targe0
People who ghost are scumbags.
Be a grown up and just tell the person you aren't feeling it. Don't protect your emotions by destroying the other persons by leading them on only to ditch them.
UhSadHJ84
Fuck you DAVE!
RedTailedHawk
spangolio
we miss Fairuza.
Totallyscrewedinaustin
Where did she go? Haven't seen her in anything recently (since the late 90s/early 00s)
smashpro1
Mostly doing voice acting and music.
MadamPuddifoot
Just a mild beating would be nice (jk)
RedTailedHawk
Daisychain360
I hope you had a good cry and then remembered how you are way better than that loser. Imagine how awful a person they must be to do that to someone. Scumbag. You definitely deserve better than that. Keep your chin up OP.
MadamPuddifoot
Still having that good cry, but thank you. I'm giving up for a while, I don't think there's a someone out there for me.
LuminoZero
I mean this as a warning, not as a chastisement, don't get hung up on 'the one'. Cruel people can sense that and will use it to take advantage of you. Just look for fun people to hang out with. When it clicks, you'll know.
AlwaysUpvotesCatgirls
Sorry for that. Dating in this day and age sucks so bad. I don’t even know why I’m still using the apps.
laserfrog
Kinda sounds like he was trying to start dating but was not ready & too embarrassed to admit it: ex not ready after a breakup or his anxiety
RunsWithBullShit
Probably told someone about it and they convinced him not to go. Non internet people are weird like that.
MadamPuddifoot
One of the things we clicked on last night was our honesty. He admitted he can be abrasive with his honesty, so I never thought, esp after he checked this morning we were still on, that he would just not show up. Like he put in this whole show like he was coming, just to not? Is that some sick twisted way guys get off, knowing they're hurting strangers?
KaptainObveeus
Sorry that happened but in general, no guys dont get off harming others except maybe the odd psychopath (sociopath?). But I dont know what happened, something in his brain went oh no, i dont want to do this anymore, and he was too scared about how you would react so he ghosted. Girls do this too. Some talk then dissappear, I've had date agreements and then poof, gone. I think it's partially because people be crazy, and you dont want someone to go off on you so you just ghost.
EatPieLander
EroticZombiePants
That might have made school and workplaces fun, but that becomes increasingly ineffective as you get older.
MadamPuddifoot
Thanks. But nobody has even tried in nearly 5 years, so I'm pretty much a lost cause at this point.
ProjectDA
i know how this feels. i found a cycle of id date someone for a few years then spend a few years without anyone willing to go on a date. rinse and repeat. spent many years saying fuck it and having a shit load of beer for years at a time. when i ment my current gf (6yrs at this point) i would bring 2 bottles of wine and some beer. i would chug one as soon as i walked in, the other tmwas to maintain and the beer was a filler. one time a friend and i bought 5 minikegs ¹
ProjectDA
some dude was like 'you guys are going to party!' we nodded, but it was 2 for each of us and 1 for the party. we would go out to drink, come home and drink more to sober up, then go drink more out.
if you want to find love, you can. these moments suck ass and hurt, but you avoided someone bad. not going to say youll it will be tomorrow or next month, but you can find them. its cliche, but it does start with being ok with yourself alone and just finding someone that fit in.
lackadaisycull
THIS!
sakm
I hope you got meatballs and soft serve at the food court and did a little walk around the place to buy something fun for your home. His crappy behavior doesn't reflect on you, that's a him problem.
MadamPuddifoot
I was too sad to eat, but I bought myself a small blahaj. Then drove home in total silence, trying not to cry.
TheLovelessHummingbird
I also recommend crying. I would cry so much I would run out of tears and just feel nothing. Let it out, posting about is also good, I'm glad you got engagement. Sorry you got a match with a jerk, he sucks bug time. Good he showed his true colors early in the meeting process.
BorkBorkasson
He's a dick and Blåhaj agrees.
sakm
Blahaj is a great comfort. Tomorrow will be better 🫂
missbrath
Cry if you want to, fuck that guy. You deserve better!
Punkimus
But don't literally fuck him, he doesn't deserve it
Croaked
Honestly, it’s so unfortunate that you’re upset about this because this wasn’t about you. It’s them, they have the issue, not you. People are shit but this particular moment isn’t a reflection of you in any caliber. As most have said, you dodged a bullet, but more importantly, they missed out on great opportunity. Their loss. Stay strong OP, love will win!
GabbyJayYay
i know it hurts, but keep staying away from the bottle!!
MadamPuddifoot
The thought honestly didn't even cross my mind, thankfully.
GabbyJayYay
That is a very good sign
iamatopsecretagent
Gosh, if you are anywhere near me. I woukd be more than happy to take you out .
MadamPuddifoot
Thanks but I don't know if I'll ever trust someone who says that to me again. I don't know why I even tried. Just to get hurt and be crying alone, again.
iamatopsecretagent
That's the hard part. Picking oneself back up. Brushing off and trying again. I've had to do it a few times. Sucks but it does get better, eventually.
MadamPuddifoot
I've been doing that for 5 years. This was the first actual date in nearly 3? I don't know how many more times I can get back up. I just don't think it'll get better for me. But thank you for your kind words. I hope you're right and I'm wrong.
iamatopsecretagent
I hope your wrong as well. Best of luck then madam !!
TheEvilPlatypus
Trying to meet people is hard and dating can be very painful. If you want someone to just talk to, I'm here to listen.
MadamPuddifoot
I appreciate it. Right now I just want to cry. 😔
Rulesy
You dodged a bullet. Try to see the positive in that. Have some ice cream and get back out there!
vindik8or
Uh-huh. And if the hinge match's goal was to waste OP's time, and embarass them? Where'd those bullets land?
EngorgedPhallus
I dunno, I think this at least counts as being winged by the bullet.
vindik8or
Look at you, bravely trying to tear an imgurian away from their tired, reality-defining cliches!
EngorgedPhallus
https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1Njlka2RjdzZiMmtuYTVobXd1aXcxMzRwa205cjdmNmJ0ejB1ZGcyaCZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/7JgYv9FobG1HzAO8BA/200w.webp
MadamPuddifoot
It definitely feels like getting winged by it.
Rulesy
Better than getting shot in the heart a year on
TheMightyMollusk
Yeah, it really gives love a bad name.
PSqueezy
I’ll take you to ikea. Nothing a mini blahaj can’t fix
MadamPuddifoot
That's what I bought while I was there lol
PSqueezy
And? Did it fix it?
MadamPuddifoot
No 😔
PSqueezy
Sounds like you need to upgrade to the full size. And maybe get some meatballs while you’re there.
MadamPuddifoot
Honestly I don't think I'll be going to ikea for a while. I have no practical reason to and now it'll just be a reminder of that douchebag.