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Oct 2, 2020 5:23 PM
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113517
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TheInfernalContraption
"I have a plan. It's called the Justice League."
Kbantar
Anything that can negate his plot armor will lead to his immediate death.
twfeline
Alfred.
twfeline
"Alfred. Have you ever wondered what might happen if I went insane?" "Nonsense, Master Bruce. You have me."
volantredx
I mean at his core Batman is just a dude in expensive body armor. Sneak up when he sleeps and shoots him in the head.
twfeline
Everything backs up to Alfred. Batman probably planned that out, before everything else.
trouble4you
Tell Alfred and Mr Fox not to help him...he will die automatically. Fucking useless superhero..Batman.
PlaidBastard
"No, it's cool. I'm actually made of regular meat. I'd just turn into bolognese if either of you punched me right now. Easy as pie."
TPope
I mistook that for Kaff Tagon at first, those burning aquaman effigies had a point
MyFinalForm
Superman is Batman's backup plan for himself. He trusts him to do what is necessary.
Brando4027
Lol
ZeroOneName
Did Jason Mamosa get a haircut?
Comicsfan
In the story that started this meme he was asked why he had plans for everyone in the league except himself. He told them the league was it.
highwind7
KingKelloggTheWaffleHaggler
I mean if his plot armor is gone he's doomed.
jethroismaxbaer5772
Go to 4:47 https://youtu.be/rDOmlLOmgBI
palatinekatinka
That explains why Batwoman has managed to fairly easily come out on top the few times they've fought. He wouldn't want to fight family.
jethroismaxbaer5772
That video is basically Justice League: Doom. They steal Thomas and Martha's bodies to fuck with Batman.
Alfadorfox
I thought his plan against himself was titled "The Justice League".
ChazzK
Takes on the Tower of Babel story said it different ways; the animated movie "Justice League: Doom" was basically that, my favorite
dfsmitty0711
I know it gets a lot of shit, but I actually kinda liked that part. Plenty of foreshadowing for that payoff.
TonyLazutoSaysHello
If Batman goes bad, we're all fucked (Dark Nights: Metal).
Shanghaidoll
The Batman Who Laughs.
hetriedtokillmewithaforklift
Praying for plot armor holes
Phlynch
Batman can't make a plan to stop himself. If he did he would know the plan and know how to counter it.
fastjeff
Is there a comic where all these people with super powers are just like... "how do we stop this human?!?"
Kodaxmax
Sort of. in injustice it's basically batman vs most of the league. but hes the "good guy" in that one.
fastjeff
Sounds excellent, care to point me in the right direction?
Kodaxmax
nearest comic or tabletop store. could probably find it online, but i don't wanna encourage unnecessary piracy.
SubstituteReality
"Martha"
NonExistingWisper
Diamond absolutes.
SubstituteReality
"But things fall, things on Earth. And what falls, is fallen."
NonExistingWisper
In the dream, they took me to the light.
MoreEggplantAndLessEggplant
Did we just become best friends?
copingcabana
"That's just lazy writing."
gandolffoogray
WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME?!!!
Snausagebort
TheStaffmaster
folks think this is a joke, but mentioning his parents is like the legit canonical advice he gives.
SmolTenk
Iirc Superman has the plan to counter Batman.
Azubah
It's to leak his identify to twitter.
bellychan
Pretty much injustices plot
gapalanaky1
He IS the plan
PinnsthePickle
Pretty sure Batmans plan for himself is the Robins. The only one who has a chance of taking him in a 1v1 is Nightwing, but if they 1/2
[deleted]
[deleted]
Voxius
Including pretty much every member of the Justice League except for maybe Green Arrow.
LgeminiJ
pretty accurate, Justice League Dark Apokolips War batman has been brainwashed: superman - immediately looks for Damien
BaconAndBoobsAndBackflips
Batman’s plan for himself is the justice league.
CommentGuru
"What's your plan for you?" (Shit. They're right. What do I say? Make something up) "My plan... is.. the Justice League" (Nailed it, Bruce).
RealRaceRiotsAreAboutGettingBlueshelledInMarioKart
He doesn't call himself Bruce.
thesosoartist
Big plot point in an episode of an episode of batman beyond when bruce gets institutionalized
RealRaceRiotsAreAboutGettingBlueshelledInMarioKart
Can you really say this isn't canon in every other version of Batman ever though? It's not explicitly stated, but we all know...
ArdentSlacker
His plan for himself is Alfred.
jbravo775
He is just a rich guy in a suit. Im sure if the metahumans needed to they could take him.
ingram0079
The plan for taking down batman is called justice league.
Sonicdahedgie
In the same comic that reveals his backup plans, they ask about him. His response is "How the fuck would I take on the Justice League"
bellychan
Then there's the Hellbat armor. Funny enough, most of the budget was spent to be able to fight the flash, not superman
[deleted]
[deleted]
PinnsthePickle
Jason is awesome, but every fight they've ever had has shown he's not in Bruce's league. Better character, NOT a better fighter.
InvolentaryYoga
Dudes likely the strongest Robin. And has actually, historically beaten batman a few times. Am I saying its an even fight, not at all. 1/2
InvolentaryYoga
But of the robins, Jason has gone through the most similar training to Bruce and has been known to often employ Bruces tactics. Nw dont?
RhamnusiaThePaladin
Isn't Injustice league basically a long summary of why Batman can't actually take out Superman but how Batman only exists bc Sups allows it?
INeverWaitForIt
Injustice is more about Superman losing his ideals and Batman fighting to keep them. Metal is why a Batman without ideals is bad news.
INeverWaitForIt
From what little I know about Injustice, Batman could rack up an impressive body count (including Superman), but he's still Batman and won't
INeverWaitForIt
break his one rule.
TheLeftNugget
He killed a mentally challenged person in like his first comic.
Orothrim
Yes, basically
PinnsthePickle
Team up, they've got the odds on their side when it comes to taking him down. 2/2
futureiscold258
I believe in the comics. And on the league tv show ehen asked about this. His answer is just "the justice league"
Btint11
So whats his plan for dealing the robins? If they go evil?
FlailosaurNuts
Jason Todd has killed 83+ people. If Tim ever goes full evil they're all fucked. Bruce can't do shit and he completely knows it.
Tri360
Tim Drake can 100% take down batman. While the tetriary robin would not stand a chance against his former mentor in hand to hand, he would d
Tri360
-efinitly be able to outmaneuver him. In rebirth, a future version of him was able to take down batman and all 3 other robins at once
FlailosaurNuts
It's the Robins.
FloodingWaters
that plot armor is a beyotch. forreal though, plans or not, nearly any member of the justice league should be able to squash bats easily
FunkyPenguin
Don't forget, if he turns, he has access to all his plans in case the justice league members turned. He has all their greatest weaknesses.
EADimgur
Ya, thats what happens when you but virtual or literally gods against a (well trained) normal human.
Se7enPr1me
Yeah but thats not how plot armor works.
FloodingWaters
plot armor is the strongest power of all. just click your heels together 3 times, batsy.
TheFoxxWitch
In a physical fight yes, but if he just vents half the justice league into space. And deals with whoevers left via their weaknesses....
FloodingWaters
let's see who would be left.... ok, so The Flash would be able to stop him. so it doesn't happen. he's left. Superman, and wonder woman are
FloodingWaters
also fast enough to just stop him from touching the button. So they're still here. Martian manhunter would just go incorporeal, or he
Kodaxmax
To be fair only like 3 people in the league have any training, besides the batman team. could you beat an unarmed batman, if u had a weapon?
ElbowDeepInAPoliceState
Yeah
maholt
SpanWolf
She could always flip over.
maholt
Yeah, turn over and take it like a man .. No, I was raised right. It is better to give than receive. You turn over.
redpandabanana
*Sigh* go watch my super ex-girlfriend
callmecappy
Who's that? Asking for a friend
ScarecrowSticks
Artist is in the bottom right
maholt
ha ha ha .. bottom
maholt
Her shirt is just below her .. that's Supergirl
ThePastmaster
Kara Zor-El, Clark Kent's cousin.
NyxieStyx
Worth it ...
GiantSizeManThing
thatlazylizard
Thats not how this works at all, but the myth us so deep rooted I dont know if it will ever change
stja
A hymen may often be comprised of string-like structures. Consider thrusting yourself full-force into a thin string of unyielding material.
itstoodamnearly5am
stja
What I'm getting at is
CoffeeRocks
I want to upvote this twice just bc you made my dick scream.
AgainstMethod
That's on him for going too hard with a woman on her first time.
maholt
What about poor baby Vamp whose grew back after every time ..
svennisiggi
Yeah, im thinking also about the clenching if she has an orgasm. Or just accidentally does it.
HonestCommentFarmer
Somebody's been watching The Boys.
svennisiggi
No, but im checking it out now, thanks.
dickable
I'm a dirty little boy who likes to eat ass!! *crunch*
svennisiggi
Oh yeah, fucking Karl Urban. Awesome.
KiwiGameDev
Oh... thatd suck
Canigetbannedagain
Yes, it does and it is possible to "break" your junk if you're a guy.
KiwiGameDev
I trust you when it comes to meat
J4nein4ne
This happens in real life, without Kryptonian physiology. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penile_fracture
KiwiGameDev
I’ve heard about it
maholt
If she would've it wouldn't be broken
KiwiGameDev
Tbh I ain’t so sure about that...
shyasen
She can literally suck a golf ball through a garden hose and chrome off anything.
FloodingWaters
Yeah, and that shit is just something ya say. No one actually wants that
maholt
True, but you have to admire the dedication of those that have practiced enough to be able to do it.
override367
It saddens me how bad everyone's biology knowledge of hymens is basically just as bad as medieval clerics.
JustAddMud
Wait,.. so it's not hard like a turtle's shell that needs to be cracked prior to penetration?
override367
it's stretchy and if a woman is horny it's even more pliable and much less likely to bleed
override367
There's no such thing as being able to tell a woman's virginity by looking at her hymen since the vast, vast majority of them heal -
Thegreenestthumb9
Not to mention some women are born without one.
override367
but eh, can't ever correct this myth
GeneralNothing
Here’s a thought: Supergirl’s tits are bulletproof right? So there’s no way they could be soft like human tits. They must feel like stones.
NergalJester
I'd imagine they'd be like the Hulk's skin in the Eric Bana version. Like BBs hitting a dodgeball, but way more dangerous.
StenYngve
Why? Couldn't it be a highly flexible, soft, yet impregnable material?
lovit487
FYI hymen is a myth
ImmaCatImmaSexyCat
The hymen is real. It just doesn't necessarily need to break during sex.
maholt
Everyone knows the hymen is real, the little man in the boat .. that's a myth
amarangel
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/teens/sex/virginity Hymens are real, but the concept of virginity is crap.
override367
Not all women have hymens! It's a suprisingly high percent where it's so small as to essentially not matter
amarangel
Yup, but their phrase indicated they thought they didn’t exist at all.
Easykehl
Did your virgin bride sell you that story?
giganticroboticpenguin
Did you just assume their gender? ;)
override367
FakeContext
I think you should specify that the hymen breaking during sex is a myth not the hymen itself.
maholt
but she's supergirl .. she's bulletproof
FakeContext
Source https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6547601/
FakeContext
While this source more pertains to it's use in determining someone's past sex life or to accusations of assault there are plenty of other
FakeContext
sources online about this
perkocetts
Thus opens the debate of whether her alien biology is functionally similar to humans
RobertBochikJr
Some women just lay there. She could learn from them
vikinin
Even if you lay dead, the Supergirl hymen is strong enough to harm unsuspecting sausage
YouTubeRed
Supposedly jor-el searched the galaxy to find a people that was exactly like his, and was a bit annoyed that earth was the only one. XD
hammersquirrel
That's Linda Danvers who was a human woman that fused with Matrix, not Kara Zor-El the Kryptonian Supergirl
AllOutofNut
Well Superman's big boy has pincers, so....
DIINKELBERG
HighSorcerer
DIINKELBERG
The dinkelest
ID1746
Starlatan
drenix
Well_there_it_is.gif
080080
i find it hard to believe that kent wouldn't know what a human penis looks like at that age given his open mindedness and x-ray vision.
ProphetOfPhil
That and he went to public school as a child
Onetonmanwithaspoon
Superman, there is Superman.
SmolTenk
That is, in fact, the person whom batman has entrusted with the emergency plan for taking out a rogue Batman.
MarshallDaemon
Yeah, zap him with laser eyes from space and stop with the awful writing where Batman ever stood a chance.
RyanSilver612
The the justice league series didnt he say his plan to take him out WAS the justice league?
ShawnS0l0
Yeah
AmbroseGudmaker
I'd have gone with Martian Manhunter. Less likely to turn evil than Supes.
zeusdemigod131
I feel like his and GL's badassery gets downplayed a lot
ImmaCatImmaSexyCat
While J'onn is AMAZING and I love his character, his weakness is fire. It would be too easy for Batman to rig up explosives.
bellychan
That always bothered me. The guy can go intangible, fire affecting him doesn't make much sense to me.
AmbroseGudmaker
And Superman has red light, kryptonite, and magic as weaknesses. Relatively easy for Batman with his resources to work around too. Anyone>
ImmaCatImmaSexyCat
1) It's not red light. It's light that comes from a red star. Harder to make than simple fire. Kryptonite is a rare radioactive element.
AmbroseGudmaker
from the JL would have to take into account Bruce knows their weaknesses and knows what (or who) to use to exploit them to take him out.
ImmaCatImmaSexyCat
2) And magic is pretty hard to do. Batman doesn't really do magic. He'd need a magic partner. J'onn can be fought with conventional weapons.