There is a difference between being a victim of abuse and having a desire to be taken care of by a "Daddy", sugar or otherwise. I've never really heard people refer to Daddy issues as much as I heard the term baggage. I also think the reason so many people look back at their teen years as the greatest years of their lives is because you have all the freedoms of an adult, but few of the responsibilities. But Daddy's Girl and Daddy Issues are two very different things.
My wife has an incredible need for validation from people who are creeps. So does her brother. Her Dad was self involved and harshly judgemental. I never thought of it as Daddy issues. I totally understand though how abused people often have trust issues with men, and I don't blame them. In many ways it may be somewhat healthy, if applied correctly with awareness.
Could be the piece of shit mother who lied to get custody. Or simply mother have no idea who the father could be. Just because they're absent doesn't mean that they're a piece of shit. Way more likely for men to be dead at a younger age as well.
The only way I think anyone will want to be around me is if I am sexual with them. Males haven't proven me wrong. I thought I was hyper sexual but I couldn't understand why I felt horrible after. Turns out that that's the only time anyone would have anything to do with me from childhood on. That's a fucked up realization. What's worse is no one gives a shit. No one has ever cared and never will. I'm stuck in this just looking for love and kindness to belong to and it'll never come. Everyone is
So I (male) am close friends with a woman who had a similar experience, we actually started off as fuck buddies. As I grew to know her I realised I was probably perpetuating this; while I didn't want a relationship with her, I really care about her. We stopped having sex and have been friends ever since, she's really working hard on being kinder to herself. She's engaged to a really nice guy now and I'm very happy for her. There is hope out there, even if it's harder to find than it should be
It comes down to transaction. I had a high paying job and I am good at handling my money. So when people needed help, they came to me. When I got fired, and couldn't keep helping people, I learned quickly that I had few actual friends, just people who viewed treating me well as the exchange for getting help. I don't mean "Loan me 1000 bucks", but things like, "Hey, can you cover dinner tonight?" when the group goes out to eat. When I couldn't keep doing it, some people dropped out of my life.
Your not on your own, stay single for a while and just find some friends, don't put sex on the table, those that still hanging around and want to talk are worth keeping around and those that don't, well show them the door, i gave up years ago, now i just abuse drink and drugs, don't end up like me, always be friends before sex, if they don't want that they just want to use you. unfortunately there's a lot of arseholes out there men and women
Sounds like a situation where one problem leads to another, creating a repeating pattern of negative outcomes that reinforce each other, making it difficult to escape.
How could anyone be friends with you without sex if you dont believe theyll be your friend without sex? Can you understand that if the first thing you do in any kind of relationship is sex people might get the idea that you intended the relationship to be about sex? I dont have this experience with men and ive known many. "Males" dont all fit into stereotypes and they dont fit into your preconceived notions
"daddy issues" is used to denigrate, "mamas boy" is used to emmasculate. One assumes trauma in someone in a mocking way, the other is just an insult. Thats why "daddys girl" isnt derogatory. Mamas boy is essentially sexist
"Momma's boys" are boys who have an overly attached relationship with their mum rather than the kind of cold, distant or unpredictable relationship that the trauma of "Daddy issues" describes. Momma's boys can be coddled and overly catered too by a mother who treats them like the centre of the universe. Bad parenting, sure... but trauma? I'd say no.
Calling someone a mommas boy is meant to emmasculate them by assuming an overly attached relationship. Daddy issues is assuming someone has mental problems based on their sex. Youre comparing apples to oranges and it really shows the main logical falacy here
I disagree. It's entirely possible that a father does nothing wrong and a female has what we *call* "daddy issues" because of other events. A "momma's boy" can be the result of a mother, or of someone or something else as well.
I would say it is more a matter of existing as a man in a world where attention and positive affirmation are so rare, that you cling to the only reliable source you can get. I imagine the difference between a "Momma's Boy" and someone who is just clingy is whether their mother treated them well or not.
Unless you're talking about trauma to a child that is clearly being blamed on a parent rather than the child, then you're 1000% talking about identical things.
TheDiscoVampire
ThanatosElNyx
It's worse than that. It's usually stated with lascivious intent.
Az663
Youhavinagiraffe
"they had an uncaring father that has negatively affected their sense of self worth... I bet I can use that"
beeeeeeerkaaaaa
Not ouch. Little girls don't traumatize themselves. Shitty men who leave create daddy issues. And single mothers are bad, they stepped up.
Az663
Still ouch?
squishybaker
Out of the people I know with "daddy issues" they were caused by their fathers raping or beating them.
10001110101periodictablewithasantapieceofmind
Ok man
wannasee
Men say "daddy issues" as if their own dad never said they were going for a pack of cigarettes and never came back, lol
Dannoboyo
There is a difference between being a victim of abuse and having a desire to be taken care of by a "Daddy", sugar or otherwise. I've never really heard people refer to Daddy issues as much as I heard the term baggage. I also think the reason so many people look back at their teen years as the greatest years of their lives is because you have all the freedoms of an adult, but few of the responsibilities. But Daddy's Girl and Daddy Issues are two very different things.
Dannoboyo
My wife has an incredible need for validation from people who are creeps. So does her brother. Her Dad was self involved and harshly judgemental. I never thought of it as Daddy issues. I totally understand though how abused people often have trust issues with men, and I don't blame them. In many ways it may be somewhat healthy, if applied correctly with awareness.
Froggi3
Daddy issues
beeeeeeerkaaaaa
Created by the piece of shit absent "daddy".
MasterMookie
Could be the piece of shit mother who lied to get custody. Or simply mother have no idea who the father could be. Just because they're absent doesn't mean that they're a piece of shit. Way more likely for men to be dead at a younger age as well.
NorthWesternFan
Az663
Using what tone? :P
Quizz25S
Seductive ;)
Az663
Ouch2 XD
Quizz25S
*Leans casually against a wall* Hey guuuurl are you a train wreck? Cuz I love a girl with... Daddy Issues. Rawr. ;)
Az663
"Of eyes washing"
Becker37
The only way I think anyone will want to be around me is if I am sexual with them. Males haven't proven me wrong. I thought I was hyper sexual but I couldn't understand why I felt horrible after. Turns out that that's the only time anyone would have anything to do with me from childhood on. That's a fucked up realization. What's worse is no one gives a shit. No one has ever cared and never will. I'm stuck in this just looking for love and kindness to belong to and it'll never come. Everyone is
amyamazeballs
We gotta love ourselves first I've been there too
NSPike
So I (male) am close friends with a woman who had a similar experience, we actually started off as fuck buddies. As I grew to know her I realised I was probably perpetuating this; while I didn't want a relationship with her, I really care about her. We stopped having sex and have been friends ever since, she's really working hard on being kinder to herself. She's engaged to a really nice guy now and I'm very happy for her. There is hope out there, even if it's harder to find than it should be
thatunpleasantfeeling
It comes down to transaction. I had a high paying job and I am good at handling my money. So when people needed help, they came to me. When I got fired, and couldn't keep helping people, I learned quickly that I had few actual friends, just people who viewed treating me well as the exchange for getting help. I don't mean "Loan me 1000 bucks", but things like, "Hey, can you cover dinner tonight?" when the group goes out to eat. When I couldn't keep doing it, some people dropped out of my life.
Wizzbit
Your not on your own, stay single for a while and just find some friends, don't put sex on the table, those that still hanging around and want to talk are worth keeping around and those that don't, well show them the door, i gave up years ago, now i just abuse drink and drugs, don't end up like me, always be friends before sex, if they don't want that they just want to use you. unfortunately there's a lot of arseholes out there men and women
RedAppleSoda
Sounds like a situation where one problem leads to another, creating a repeating pattern of negative outcomes that reinforce each other, making it difficult to escape.
intrepidsea
This is the kind of honesty you see on tumblr.
Az663
A fine place to vent emotions in an understanding environment, true.
10001110101periodictablewithasantapieceofmind
How could anyone be friends with you without sex if you dont believe theyll be your friend without sex? Can you understand that if the first thing you do in any kind of relationship is sex people might get the idea that you intended the relationship to be about sex? I dont have this experience with men and ive known many. "Males" dont all fit into stereotypes and they dont fit into your preconceived notions
mrsdowneyjr
I used to feel this way too. It sucks. I spent a decade sleeping with all of my "friends"
Geogur
We do the same when we call men "Momma's boys."
MasterMookie
Oh mommy issues is a thing as well. At least its used in my circle of friends.
10001110101periodictablewithasantapieceofmind
"daddy issues" is used to denigrate, "mamas boy" is used to emmasculate. One assumes trauma in someone in a mocking way, the other is just an insult. Thats why "daddys girl" isnt derogatory. Mamas boy is essentially sexist
TheDildoOfConsequences
Speaking introspectively as a bit of a momma's boy, I feel like that's more to do with inadequate preparation for the rigours of adulthood.
10001110101periodictablewithasantapieceofmind
Yeah thats not how people use that word
Geogur
I feel this was already addressed. Feel free to disagree from your perspective.
10001110101periodictablewithasantapieceofmind
👍
Geogur
Oh it's certainly not a term that is as sexualized as "daddy issues," true. It's equally derogatory, if not worse, though.
Youhavinagiraffe
"Momma's boys" are boys who have an overly attached relationship with their mum rather than the kind of cold, distant or unpredictable relationship that the trauma of "Daddy issues" describes. Momma's boys can be coddled and overly catered too by a mother who treats them like the centre of the universe. Bad parenting, sure... but trauma? I'd say no.
10001110101periodictablewithasantapieceofmind
Calling someone a mommas boy is meant to emmasculate them by assuming an overly attached relationship. Daddy issues is assuming someone has mental problems based on their sex. Youre comparing apples to oranges and it really shows the main logical falacy here
Youhavinagiraffe
You're agreeing with me in a weirdly aggressive way
10001110101periodictablewithasantapieceofmind
Yes you see i am a very aggressive person
TheGoudaKaramazov
Very well put.
Lugh314159
An overprotective mother and an abusive father are not really equivalent.
Geogur
I never said they were equivalent. I said they were the same type of action. A slap and a punch are the same type of action, but not equivalent.
So you're right, but you're arguing with someone who is not me, apparently.
LinesOfCokeWithSnowman
unless you take into account the idea that it was a parent dishing out issues and not the person-with the issues- fault.
Geogur
I disagree. It's entirely possible that a father does nothing wrong and a female has what we *call* "daddy issues" because of other events. A "momma's boy" can be the result of a mother, or of someone or something else as well.
I think you're mistaken on this one.
thatunpleasantfeeling
I would say it is more a matter of existing as a man in a world where attention and positive affirmation are so rare, that you cling to the only reliable source you can get. I imagine the difference between a "Momma's Boy" and someone who is just clingy is whether their mother treated them well or not.
CoarseAndSalty
Unless you're talking about trauma to a child that is clearly being blamed on a parent rather than the child, then you're 1000% talking about identical things.
EvilFentoozler
Both are abusive but not equal. One didn't show up, the other was borderline grooming but present nonetheless.