barenton
204513
4215
103
One crafty guest was left red-faced when she was rumbled by security staff at Southwell Racecourse after hollowing out a tomato and salami baguette and trying to hide a £7.29 bottle of vodka inside.
Security bosses were alerted to the valiant effort on Ladies Day – the racecourse’s biggest event of the year – when they noticed the weight of the sandwich, which was considerably heavier than expected.
Only alcohol bought at the racecourse is allowed to be consumed on site but Will Bowler, marketing assistant, at Southwell Racecourse, said they invited the sandwich-smuggler to collect the bottle at the end of the day rather than confiscate it, as a reward for her innovative idea.
polopolomarkopolopolo
Glass bottle? What is this... Amateur hour?
SoDoneWithYourShite
Can afford to go to the races but buys that paint stripper known as Glen's ?! What.
iamtiredofmakingnewusernames
Should have just worn a leg bag. A little yellow food coloring, nobody is going to ask to smell your bag of piss strapped to your leg.
Genini
Oh I think you underestimate how thorough I am.
MrDressup
they have tampon flasks now /a/FTfU8
PornhubsFirstTree
I would imagine 5 tampons would weigh like a feather.. however, I would not attempt to piss off a woman that may be on her period already
amyphister
wow! they were doing the solid of letting someone have their own stuff back? that's kind of them! how dare that person want their own stuff!
ForTheLoveOfSporks
Saw a lady take a shot from a fake pair of binoculars at a concert once. That made me want some whisky.
YouMealyMouthedCrotchPheasant
Had to do this for the Sziget festival (Budapest, HU). The crackdown on people bringing stuff into the ground was ridiculous. Don't go.
rainbowcoloredpoop
Really? I remember them mostly not liking glass containers. Plastic was just fine, so we just funneled it into that. Maybe they got stricter
colombocock
"had to"
Kalapacs
I was just last week in Balaton enjoying the festival. The band was great.
YouMealyMouthedCrotchPheasant
Been to Ozora lots of times, the treatment there is way different to Sziget.
Kalapacs
i didnt make it to margit sziget this year was only able to stay for a week due to work.
LurkingMcLurkface
Inject oranges with vodka, never gets found.
Corrodias
Consider staying home. You get to drink all you want AND you don't financially support a business that fleeces customers like that. The »
Corrodias
only downside is that you can't watch the race, but considering you'd have to be outdoors, in the sun and shit, is that really such a loss?
applesforjuice
I'm so tired of this. Everyone's "I save so much money by drinking at home!" I like doing fun things and going out. It's not about drinking
Corrodias
That's fine, cool. You probably aren't trying to smuggle vodka inside sandwiches, then, I take it.
P7M8
jesus christ TSA level shit to protect your shitty vendors price gouging. pls kys
richincleve
I'll have to remember that when I pack my kid's lunch. He loves an IPA with his pb&j.
TheMightOfChondria
Beer contains the micro nutrients a growing body needs like; silicon, chromium, potassium, magnesium and manganese.
richincleve
I tell his teachers that all the time. But all I hear is "you shouldn't give your kids alcohol!", "you're child's only 9!" blah blah blah.
iamtiredofmakingnewusernames
Bastards. French and German kids drink wine and beer and they're fine. Of course you have to water it down.
Repetitapup
To the innovative lady
Cyzyk
It's called a beer hoagi and it ain't innovative unless this picture was taken ten or more years ago.
chunkblaster
"Fuck you and your overpriced vodka" - salami sandwich lady, probably
TacoWaffle
I'll just leave this here. http://www.freedomflask.com/
jasta6
Get rid of the carabineer, hid it in your waistband, tell them it's your colostomy bag when they pat u down.
DildoSwaggens
C'mon Ladies... Lets see some effort.
myolemma
Mmm body temperature wine
aykyle
Guys can do it too with a tie or there is a fanny pack like device.
Repetitapup
You beat me to it
DildoSwaggens
I read your username as "Rape it pup" like 3 times.
[deleted]
[deleted]
DildoSwaggens
*also available in plus sized Bro
pokebug666
Why wouldn't it be? Though now you got me wondering if a similar product for the gut would hold more booze.
thekeeb
http://a.co/3nYdXzr . Much more :)
NotAmused1001
Use a water bottle. Duh.
VoltageXL1
Idk about races but every venue ive been to for music does not allow bottles filled with liquid. They will just dump it.
Godmodemolecule
Pfffff no lettuce!?
irlborat
This is what they get for not using their asshole like the rest of us
YesMyNameIsNo
That's bullshit. Why limit it to only alcohol bought on premise? That's a huge money grab. I've never seen anything like it...
rectified
/a/sTobY
SavgeHnry
It's not even good quality vodka
Eireman4Ever
BOO! BOO! HISS!
DragonSweep
I'll give her an up vote for trying.
educatedguess
she may be to drunk to remember
rufflePlayer
Once again encouraging mind altering substances ::: which has ruined many and destroyed decent behaviour
yomancs
I just rolled a bottle of wine into a blanket that work for me at the gorge
Frankinbeijing
How much is 1 cocktail at the racecourse 12 pounds?
PhiIIipJFry
Man if only water came in bottles that would be such a great way to disguise vodka
karolukx44
they open all the bottles and smell the liquid
kodiak931155
I have a foolproof place for smuggling booze into places like this. My stomach is the perfect size for 1-2 liters and they never check it.
HowMuchMethWasInvolvedHere
+1 to get you closer to 666
TinySnek
I can fit thissss much! *wiggles*
rickeyspanish
I put it in my back pocket...doesn't set off metal detectors and they only look at your front. Just make sure you don't beep going through.
chrisdafish
Chub and tuck is a wonderful thing
mamonakuhell
BADD0GGIE
A swift gut punch and you turn into a dispensary. It's fool proof.
SometimesLinkingNSFW
Silicone vodka breast implants are the next big thing.
FloodingWaters
my buddy has a 'beer belly' which is a bladder you can strap to your stomach and fill with beer.
FloodingWaters
it has an outie belly button which is the tap
RainbowViper
TimmyDans
Titmuch protally fit shaced
FeathersPryx
Almost, it was actually Titty Much
SapphicCatgirl
I'm dyslexic and this made serfect pense
TimmyDans
I'm disgrapbic so we'd make the perfect speech writing team
LionHeart31337
2 liters?!? You're a fucking animal!
AliBarber
If you really wanna force it you can fit 4L of liquid but you'll be in some pretty serious agony
Kronzor
I'm certain I've fit that much beer in there at one time or another
Poserman
You can die from that much liquid, even if it's water
smilethingsareworsethantheyseem
Especially if it's water. It's actually easier to die from drinking too much water than beer for example. Look up water poisoning.
smilethingsareworsethantheyseem
This is assuming you don't get alcohol poisoning ofcourse so replace beer with low alcohol beer if that would be the case for you.
Flyndaran
Only if you're very petite.
AmityvilleHodor
Mistake was leaving it in the heavy, glass bottle.
Jevus
Should have soaked the bread in the vodka and wrung it out into her mouth once inside.
noitsDan
Rookie mistake.
Talmorean
Yup, they sould have just smuggled it in via their liver.
merelyadequategooglymoogly
Plot twist: this was a throwaway filled with water. The real vodka was carefully concealed in her bloodstream.
IcyLucario
Soak the bread, then squeeze it like a towel when you want a drink.
WeirdandOdd
or could it be the metal cap set off the metal detectors?
AmityvilleHodor
Deacription said the weight of it is what alerted the security
WeirdandOdd
ok, figured the way places are checking with metal detectors, going off on a sandwich would make them check.
rallen9268
Right?! Put it in a sports bottle with ice. Looks like water.
GodLikeButHumble
And tastes like it as well, after the ice melts.
rallen9268
ice takes much longer to melt in alcohol. It's the same reason why alcohol doesn't solidify in a freezer.
WaterUnderTheRocketAppliances
Should have made a rumham sandwich
biotechonista
goddammit, waterundertherocketappliances, eating your drinks
skybluestar
Yesss
OPsMomzMySource
LincolnSiixEcho
ltsDizzyD
Rumhaaaaam!
SkippedOver
HumfreeBugart
Correct, she should have known that Smirnoff make 500ml in plastic bottles. She was obviously an amateur
idontevenknowsillymonkey
Smirnoff is shit Vodka, although from the look of a Glen's bottle it probably is too so good idea I guess...
smilethingsareworsethantheyseem
There's normal vodka and there's shit vodka. Smirnoff is normal vodka.
idontevenknowsillymonkey
I suppose I could agree to that, since there are obviously lower budget options (just like there are for any alcohol, really!).
HumfreeBugart
There is no such thing as "deluxe" vodka. They all take 10 days to make. The price may be different for fools, but the vodkas the same
JGGennedy
...said by someone who doesn't know what he's talking about. There are diff types of vodka, wheat vodkas, potato vodkas, rice vodkas. 1/3
JGGennedy
They are far from "the same." It's like saying "all wine is the same." Aviv 613 Vodka for example is distilled from fruits and grains. 2/3
AmityvilleHodor
idontevenknowsillymonkey
The taste and feel is completely different though, by itself and as a mixer. I don't care what the price is - if I found $2 Vodka that was /
idontevenknowsillymonkey
great tasting I'd drink it. Smirnoff, though, is horribly shit in comparison to slightly more expensive bottles like Grey Goose. 2/2
MustardHeadmaster
There is differences, smirnoff is still alright tho. Dvorak is another story.
HumfreeBugart
The only difference is a fancy bottle, you pay premium price for the nice bottle. Vodka and gin provide huge profits for companies
Tilted9000
Plastic bag would be a good idea
Caspooky
Make sure it's a resealable heavy duty plastic bag though, don't want it to pop! (also way easier to drink that way...)
areola51
Fill a couple of refillable kids squeeze food pouches... it will look like you're eating applesauce
NuiNiuhiNui
Like a vodka capri-sun. That's novel.
Tilted9000
Also a straw, cause we fancy
Tilted9000
Two bags just incase
Caspooky
Smart ;)