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Probably the trauma. Yeah, definitely the trauma.
I'm having a harder and harder time recently with getting words out. So bad that I went to a neurologist. Nothing showed up. I scored 165 on the raad test, but was denied a clinical ASD diagnosis.
This morning I was incredibly dysregulated from shit happening at work. And I was having a hard time with executive functions. So, eating wasn't going to happen.
My darling amazing husband offered to order breakfast so I ate something. But I couldn't for the life of me get out what I wanted. And it made it so I became more dysregulated. And therefore less able to speak.
Suddenly popped into my head to write down my order and give it to him. Suddenly it was like a spell was broken.
Growing up I struggled with speaking at times, especially in moments of intense emotions. But instead of helping develop skills I was abused and shunned. So, it's taken a bit to be able to pause and figure out a solution.
Just wanted to share something positive. Maybe it'll help others. Going to try to remember to use this again in the future.
HeAmbledVaguelyEastwards
Kiddo, I'm old enough to be your parent and I still get "oh, right" moments like that. You came up with a good idea, and you're using it to cope with an episode - there's no need to criticise yourself. Well done, and carry on.
DinoTherapy411
I'm so glad you're finding a solution! Stay strong! Don't let anyone tell you you're doing it wrong!
Hotsauceman
azarza
Stanistani
Coping strategies are vital for things like this. I developed a few hand signals between my wife and me when I have trouble talking. Just being able to communicate common ideas takes the pressure off quite a bit.
DOcelot1
You need 2 friends
HypnagogicHallucinations
Can also agree on a few hand signs in advance that you and your husband agree on a meaning. Won't convey complex information, but it could still be useful.
notyoubizness
what does 165 on the raad test mean?
jiujoujitsu
My wife is like that, I wonder if writing things down would help her. I ask her, It is worth a try. Thank you Internet Stranger!
Vamp13
How TF can you be almost non verbal and have docs still not diagnose u
ThorClark
This is exactly why I appreciate being able to text so much.
highstone
My child gets that way too, when they do, I text them and they can respond. Once the wave is over, we can go back to speaking.
ThatOtherMacAvoyWoman
Women are severely undiagnosed (just got my ASD diagnosis a few years ago at 30).
Enoan
I figured this out a little bit ago, but wow my mom got really angry that I texted her rather than "just saying it like a normal person"
Heavenissize17socks
@op, go to a better neurologist.
jesseCandyBaroness
That’s awesome. My person these days is so patient and supportive and lets me text when I can’t talk. I love that your person was trying to help and was patient while you figured out a way to communicate.
PineappleAndDogs
Yay! It’s also totally okay to self diagnose ASD, especially if it helps you find community of people with similar experiences.
anonymousdad2
Note to self: write more notes. To self? Good job!
ArthurT
i2. eye 2. I did not speak until I was more than six.
HedonistBeard
Another tip I use: Body language accessories. I have a special cap I put on if words are too much for me to deal with, another for migraines
Kehy
I have a bejeweled penis brooch I wear when I have decided to be a problem
Feralkyn
bezobzira
pics?
Kehy
i am packing to move and the flesh is unwilling
bezobzira
understandable. cheers
b1candy2
In the kings speech, and others, if you listen to music so you can't hear yourself, that gets words out
musicaljinx
Heck yeah - congratulations! I’ve also seen where some people learn ASL for times when they are overwhelmed or nonverbal.
monkeyfly
I haven't been having a great time for a while now and making notes has saved my life. Objective, definable tasks that I can use to remind myself, plan my day and tick off for a sense of achievement. Really was a game changer for me and I'm glad you worked it out too.
kmikl
I get like that as well. Writing stuff down is something you don't think about until after because you're too overwhelmed in the moment.
IfItQuacksLikeADuck
You need to use this skill and be hired as the guy who writes all the notes scattered everywhere in video games. IDK, maybe you have insights that would make your work interesting and valuable. (Not trying to downplay your suffering. Just trying to cheer you up a little bit 😉). Also do you know if it's what psychiatrists call "selective mutism" ?
slidewhistlesymphony
I am non-verbal, thanks to a stroke I had in 2020.
notyoubizness
Harsh. Glad you retained the ability to write! if your throat and tongue can still function there may be some technology to help you convert those motions into audible sounds that is speech
[deleted]
[deleted]
MacNero00
NO2?
Chromentor
Guess you two can be stroke buddies.... Ohh, that sounded weird :D
sureasyourebornyourenevergoingtoseenounicorn
With cell phones, you can type a note. Send a text. For a lot of people who struggle with this they find signed language to be easier. Start with finger spelling! There’s loads of options out there! Apps that solely use picture to communicate also exist!
Randomified
Wait, this is a thing? I've found myself being unable to speak when emotions get high and people always just tell me to "use my words" even though I physically just can't. I've told my husband, when I get like that I want to write down what I'm thinking but it happens so rarely he forgets I've said that and it's back to "use your words" :( I didn't know this is something other people experience too
AgentCatherine
I have to text in these moments. I just….cant.
CreativeWasteland
The reason why we can't speak properly when we're highly emotional is because the part of the brain that controls language processing and speech articulation shuts down. It's called Broca's area.
BlindGardener
Sometimes, when you’re non-verbal, you can’t write either.
combatwombat0
Emojis
spookyu
My fiance has had that issue before (CPTSD) and has a severe freeze response. A little while ago I thought of her just squeezing my hand in response to yes/no questions. She took it a step further and the pressure of the squeeze shows intensity. It has definitely worked more than once now.
IrrelevantHandle
I can point on a menu, though. If they were bullied instead of encouraged as children even the realization that there are other methods of communication and that others are willing to accommodate them is a big deal.
Izdleve
This. One thing I learned as an adult: There's always another way, get creative, don't give up. Why was it learned so late? It took until I met someone patient enough to actually try. But both our handwriting is bad, so we text or send pictures/memes until the words come back.
BagOfPrayers
This is how it is for me. It's like I get stuck trying to find the exact right word to say how I feel about something, and I can only think of something that's not right, so I can't say anything at all
Spiked
Would a communication board help? Something with pictures just to get a general idea of what you need
Froggie243
Would leafing through a dictionary or thesaurus help?
Froggie243
Or maybe that info graphic somebody made to split out feeling words into more specific nuanced words? I think its marketed as some kind of writing tool?
Snekfast
Probably a weird question, but have you experienced this since you were a kid? Trying to help a wee boy who may be autistic and non-verbal and would really appreciate any tips or stuff you found helpful over the years. He's just a toddler still but he gets so frustrated over not being able to communicate. I've read a lot about it but I'd like to hear about it from someone who's experienced it firsthand
mouseasw
I wonder if one of those word button sets they sometimes teach pets to use would be helpful?
Earwiglet
They make special charts for patients like this
BagOfPrayers
My memories of being a kid are pretty spotty, so I don't have an answer for that. At least as an adult it only really comes up in complex situations that involve a lot of emotional investment, where being misunderstood could end up hurting someone's feelings by mistake or having them jump to the wrong conclusion about my stance on something