anlyin
154524
4499
139
Oct 2, 2019 9:59 AM
anlyin
154524
4499
139
TrustedxProfessional
What is the second pic from? Is it JD from scrubs?
Ceroeurista
Haha FART
IusallypoopwhileImonhere
I worked at a movie. One day a old lady rolls her wheel chair up to the stand and is almost in tears. She popped her colostomy bag.
EnderPanda13
2nd to last one I was working retail & I told a woman after she said that "now your wise and beautiful" and her husband said "idk bout dat"
craggyp
wait, which college offers 60% off for playing music? WHICH COLLEGE?!?
Arahdun
#1 is a little better if you consider the fact that ''Far'' Means Dad in Scandinavian languages =P
bearenthealmighty
Det gør det nemlig. :-)
DougTheLlama
dadt?
BigFatBobbie
That does make it better.
TDRM
Lige præcis!
toddscat
Steve Harvey’s face looks the same for penis, poop, and sex.
davebeastly
Antiprom sounds like an amazing thing.
yourlocaleconomicsnerd
So, your first day at school?
nfamouskingsley
The bbq stabbing one is literally Kansas City lol
Joeyybear
*laughs in Houstonian*
RatsLiveOnNoEvilStar
I assumed Memphis
DemSumBigAssRidges
I'll punch science right in its fuckin nose! My dog is fuckin awesome!
FlatPlutoSociety
I read #9 as "We don't deserve libertarians," and I completely agreed with that as well.
stardrift
Imma be forever solo.
MassStorageDeviceCanNowBeSafelyRemoved
Dad finally asks for pic, and it's T-posing to spell fart. god bless him
kotabSuperJunkie
I masturbate solo.... Mmm yes #17
HeWhoLovesHyenas
#18 i also chose that guy's wife
SandwichMastery
To go down the stairs?
axiomatik
Is she in a wheelchair?
purdhapley
Jokes on you, I have four outfits if you include my swimsuit.
unufri42
I know, right?! How come we guys with a few outfits suddenly got put in the same category as drug dealers?
dadanedude
#1 You know "far" actually means "dad" in danish. (And "fart" means speed)
Broseidan
Don't get the wrong idea, English food isn't far from "free health care". Either
turketron3000
I read the library one in a whisper voice in my head.
TinyLiehon
#9 Saajaragh sssssssiiietiht
MarkPenrice
Incidentally where the hell are 10-year-olds getting the money to buy $3.60 (apiece) drinks from a bar, then leave as much as a tip?!
MarkPenrice
Like did they get their weekly allowance, buy some chips, then decide to blow the entire remainder on a single order?
ATATtightropeWalker
Who TF has a Burger King sign as a background on their phone?...
B99Reactions
that person?
nickgismo
#1 fun fact: "Far" in Danish translate to dad.
MarkPenrice
Seriously, no American has any business criticising Brits for having cheese with fruitcake. You guys will put cheese on ANYTHING.
MarkPenrice
Steak sandwich? Cheese. Fried egg? Cheese. Hash brownies? Cheese. Grilled cheese sandwich? Even more cheese. First born child? CHEEEEEEEEESE
Hutchy01
I mean I'm from Yorkshire and still don't get why some (usually old) fuckers eat christmas cake with cheese
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
I don't get apple pie with cheese either, my grandpa always has it that way. Maybe comes from cheese being a dessert? So they combined them?
Stealthyboy
Because they go well together?
deskmouse
Because it's delicious. Love from another Yorkshire dweller (who is also old as fuck)
Polarbit
The bubble wrap one is probably for people with PTSD.
ICanChangeMyNameLater
That would make it worse for me.
AGlobOfEcto
The new bubble wrap can be shipped deflated, along with a machine that inflates. Then the bulk user of the bubble wrap injects it with air 1
AGlobOfEcto
..and it is used as needed. This saves on shipping costs as the initial uninflated material can be distributed compactly
Codox3000
With all due respect its almost always 1 respect just enough respect to not be rude, its a wonderful phrase.
v01dstar
It implies that whatever amount of respect is shown by the next thing you say, that's how much respect is "due".
v01dstar
And since it's almost always followed by something *disrespectful* (cuz otherwise why bother saying it?), it's basically an insult-doubler.
v01dstar
From the British Problems list: "I keep saying 'with all due respect', but because I live in the States, nobody realizes I'm insulting them"
dovebair
I don't think I've ever used that phrase for someone who was not objectively above me in a formal rank. Otherwise, we're equals, no need
Kbantar
Can we round that down to 0.5? I'm low and need to ration. Visiting relatives, you know?
omnipotentpasta
Why DO Americans eat like they have free healthcare?
Swampwalker
We're already in so much debt it really doesn't matter anymore. Might as well enjoy life while it lasts.
TI99Kitty
Because healthy food is priced for upper-middle class and rich people. Basically, the more unhealthy crap they cram into food, the -->
TI99Kitty
cheaper it is. Carrots grown without chemical fertilizers and pesticides? $2.50 a pound. A 15 oz. can of carrots that's had all the -->
TI99Kitty
nutrients boiled out, AND has a buttload of unnecessary salt and sugar added? 75 cents.
TI99Kitty
A nice, fresh salad with some vinegar and olive oil -- around $2.50 to $3. A two-pack of Hot Pockets -- about $1.50.
KitKateC
Stress and addictive ingredients/low cost of fast food. Our country likes to kill its citizens mentally AND physically. USA, USA!
cheeseburgldurglar
Because if I have to pay for it, I’m gonna use it dammit!
HgDragon80
Because shit's delicious, yo.
stonethacrow
Americans are dumb
Merky600
Last night I had corned beef hash before going to bed.
Billy2sweet
We are here for a good time, not a long time, baby. Shake,and bake. Whoooh.
ImJustHereToMakePeopleCry
Because we're racing each other to hell on delicious vehicles made from carbs.
CascadiaPNW
Government subsidized soy and corn makes processed foods cheaper
DancingJesus
Cause I'm broke so I get free healthcare through the state. Also cause I can't afford to eat healthy. Literally too expensive in California
Kbantar
Food deserts where there are no local areas with fresh fruits/vegetables or healthy groceries, only convenience stores of junk food.
yepwatermelon
WE'RE ?HERE ?FOR ? A ? GOOD ? TIME ?NOT ? A ? LONG ? TIME ?
stonethacrow
yepwatermelon
I make me sad. ;-;
Watchtheadventuresofpeteandpete
Damn that made me laugh. I will say that when you eat better you feel better...
jethroismaxbaer5772
Why DO British people still eat like it's the 1800's and have no electricity?
smorsdoeuvres
American food is addictive & designed that way, with extremely high sugar, fat & salt content. Our food is a product of capitalism. Consume.
iguessihaveto
It's also been stripped of a lot of its nutritional value to be more shelf stable.
rudejohn
Most people do have health care. More than 62% through employers (like mine). Lots through Medicare and Medicaid (gov't). 92% have plans.
Wombatish
True but that rate (>90%) is a v recent development. Was still most, but post 65 population props it up
rudejohn
Most have health care. Myth of uninsured Americans is a fabrication. I wish all were covered, but it's not like an uninsured wasteland.
Wombatish
It's a wasteland compared to essentially every other developed nation on earth. And coverage != access in the current system (enjoy your *c*
Wombatish
*c* $5k deductible non-catastrophic plan - but hey statistically you're covered!). If you wish all were covered, why not do so? And why *c*
rudejohn
The percentage of people with health insurance coverage for all or part of 2016 was 91.2 percent, higher than the rate in 2015 (90.9 percent
NuggetSmuggler
Stresssssss. Oh and bad food is cheap. Also dont forget to treat yourself with donuts for working so hard and being stressed.
Drenathar
Are you me?
B99Reactions
I went to the US, it was cheaper to go to the grocery store and buy stuff to cook with than it was to eat at McDonalds
PlanckEraWasMyBestEra
Yes but we aren't comparing fast food to groceries. We are comparing healthy food (fruits, veggies, chicken breasts) to cheap unhealthy food
PlanckEraWasMyBestEra
(potatoes, spaghetti, ramen). It is absolutely cheaper eat unhealthy than healthy.
omnipotentpasta
Grass is free if you graze on public property
Watercat5
The thing is, good food is also cheap most of the time. It's just that people have 40+ hour work weeks and other things to do than cooking.
B99Reactions
There are things to cook quickly, and Americans are the most consumers of enterteinment ever, so time shouldnt be an issue
pofalof
I'll be doing 80 hours a week this month. Lots and lots of ramen.
PlanckEraWasMyBestEra
It's not for those truly struggling. I think this mentality is mostly from the same people whose advice to save money is 'dont buy Starbucks
PlanckEraWasMyBestEra
every day'. Those who are taking a calculator to the grocery store aren't usually the ones buying Starbucks. The ones who can't justify the
PlanckEraWasMyBestEra
$1 head of lettuce over the $1 box of pasta that will last a lot longer and feed more people are who we mean and for them, healthy food is
PlanckEraWasMyBestEra
I challenge anyone saying healthy food is equally as cheap to go on a grocery site and make a healthy food plan for a family of 4 for a week
PlanckEraWasMyBestEra
that is enough to provide them full meals 3x a day (we will even skip snacks despite the fact that children need them) and that will be able
PlanckEraWasMyBestEra
to last that full week (because poor people often can't go to the store more than once a week) for cheaper than you can do the same with
PlanckEraWasMyBestEra
unhealthy foods. Because if paying rent and keeping the lights on means spending as little as possible on food, I'm going to do whatever it
mondayaddams
Your whole idea is wrong here already. My family used to live on little budget. Never ever did we have pre-made trash.
ThaEnder
Healthy food is also cheap.
FabulousBadass
No, it's not.
ThaEnder
I work in a grocery store. Yes, it is.
PlanckEraWasMyBestEra
You should know then that it's a lot cheaper to buy potatoes or pasta and feed a family for days than to buy enough produce to do the same.
thecollective01
And time consuming.
ShareACokeWithLeroyJenkins
Depends on where you live. Cost of living is a major factor in food prices. Where a cart load of 'healthy food' might be $70-$80 >>
ShareACokeWithLeroyJenkins
In one state, that same load of food could cost between $140-$160.
ShareACokeWithLeroyJenkins
>> in another state.
SectionF4
Only people who buy bagged lettuce for $5 think it's expensive. My lunches of healthy food are $5.00. And that's w/ fancy shit like almonds.
PlanckEraWasMyBestEra
That's the thing. $5 for a single meal is not actually cheap at all.
SectionF4
Subbing the pecans/almonds for carrots drops it to the $3'ish range. I guess my point is: it's cheaper than fast food, and much healthier.
PlanckEraWasMyBestEra
I'm pretty much an expert on eating on a budget. If you are truly struggling, you may be able to throw in something healthy here and there