prfesser
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https://deadstate.org/maga-pastor-christians-need-people-who-are-willing-to-strap-bombs-to-their-chest-like-the-muslims/
Of course *he* doesn't want to strap a bomb to his chest, he wants others to strap bombs to their chests. So they can die. For his religion.
I think "batshit crazy" kinda sums it up.
neurog866
Did he also say “Please send money to me,before you blow your self up”…. We know it’s really about the money.
BarryTheCyborg
I think Mr FBI Man needs to give this guy a visit
Fastjack2056
For what it's worth, Jesus specifically warned about dudes like this, and made it clear they would not be forgiven. Zero words about killing for his church. Kinda wish more Christians noticed that.
FeloniousMonk13
I'm sorry sir I don't quite understand the directions, could you please demonstrate? Here's a hand grenade. Wait, go over there first. No, no, farther than that. Go waaay the fuck over there where u won't hurt anyone else. And then do the world a favor.
ArkoneAxon
OP's not wrong. This sort of hypocrite never wants to do it themselves. Yasser Arafat was the guy who invented the strategy of Islamic suicide bombers - and HE died in bed of old age. His daughter is an artist who never dreamed of blowing herself up either.
freshthrowaway1138
I get your point, but I want to point out that although Arafat may have used suicide bombers, other nation-states and terrorist groups were using them before he got around to it.
PrastaryOrk
TheOneTrueZippy8
I don't think "falsely claimed" quite covers the degree of fantasy that he has spouted there.
Coca08
Totally not a cult.
mockingbird75
"Shut up! I kill you" - Kyle the dead terrorist (skeleton wearing a maga hat)
FlintNorth44
Chris Kyle? While I agree he was that type of idiot...I don't think he was a magat because he died before the trump dump.
TheDentDad
Cmon whacko, get in the van. Here’s your free jacket.
Absent
Is he on a terrorist watch list? Because I feel like he should be.
lucivjov
This guy is literally cosplaying as various Lucifer statues. Ironic reference to what the right wing is.
heartlessninja6
So did we stop doing stochastic terrorism as a crime now or just for American conservatives?
EmailFail
I hope that nut's church is paying taxes
atrielienz
Sure dude, go off. We've got a working FBI and Homeland security. Implicate yourself in terrorist attacks. Implicate your friends. Get them involved.
yalczero
They're only working if he gets arrested and charged. If he were Muslim his door would have already been kicked in by 100 SWAT, at least.
drduffer
Christian Taliban. They’re related to, but slightly different from, the Nazis, er, Republicans.
PapaJoeNH
Sure. Show us how.
TongueTiedLabourerfromtheLandoftheLittlePeople
Remember how somehow every person who died on Jan 6th was a Trump supporter? If they start trying suicide bombing I'm not sure how many will make it to their targets.
SnakesInBowties
"There abide these 3: Faith, Hope, Love. And the greatest of these is a bomb strapped to your chest." F*cking Idiots 9:11
SubnetTwelve
Why doesn't he kills himself for his beliefs first ?
SoberAndBored
Strangely, they never do
FlashHardwood
Why does this guy look like he could be the bad guy in Karate Kid XVII?
fractalsphere
But I thought suicide was a sin?
JAPONfan
a domestic terrorist named Christmas? Like I don't know who is writing our univers on whattta-pad but they're like 13 years old top.
hergurh
heed not the words of false preachers and imitation Billy Idols
Nalianna
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D97O9PU2GnM
pareidoliaperson
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/vx2z8uPE-A8?feature=share
fortheshire85127001
I thought it was Richard Dean Anderson for a second
Tomigami
Far-right Richard Dean Anderson: MAGAgyver
TheLastPerfectDay
This is his shitty cousin False Idol.
bekindtoanimals
HAHAHA!!!
photog
Thou shall not put a pickle in your butt, as it may taste different after
Spidey209
Pretty sure it will still taste like butt.
HsuDoNihm
Instead... strap a bomb to his chest. See how he likes it.
Mechwarrior719
This joke, like onions, ogres, and other good jokes, has layers. +1
manyslayer
You know what else has layers. Parfaits!
NinetiesBoomer
cakes!
Mechwarrior719
Lasagna
thatiscomedygoldrightthere
It is absolutely comedy gold.
OMFGWhatHaveWeDONE
If he was Muslim, the FBI would have disappeared him already?
malkavian3str
If he was he'd be an informer.
FlintNorth44
I think you added a question mark on accident.
EverNotRelevant
These people think "moral high ground" means they can do the exact same thing as the people they villainise and it doesn't count because it's them doing it.
zHurk777
Jesus Forgives Christians !!!! - magas. and it's pronounced Hey-Zeus.
MadCat221
The people they villainize don’t even need to do what these “moral high ground” lunatics claim for the loonies to justify doing it
Rodenbeard
Disturbingly funny that the only issue they had all along with Islamic terrorism was the "Islamic" part, and I guess it should have been obvious in hindsight.
LokiShade
Yes. That's called religion.
d3jake
Double standards are fun
d3jake
Oh! Finally I can use this!
shinakuma2
Double the fun
manyslayer
If they didn't have double standards, they'd have no standards at all.
PapaUbu
So, when are the FBI going to take him in for incitement to terrorism? I mean if that was a Muslim channel calling for suicide bombers, they'd swoop straight away, right?
theDogter
Petergriffenokaynotokay.gif
NateintheNorth
Incitement is very difficult to prosecute, as we've seen with daddy inciter himself.
shyasen
This guy isn't a former president or (probably) wealthy enough to escape the law. He is white, Christian, male & probably has LOTS of child porn on a device, though, so that might keep the FBI away.
zHurk777
That's Different !!! - magas.
WhatzitTooya
Skin tone not dark enough.
TheChunguskaEvent
uh they have those. they shoot people all the time
datester35
"Some of you may die. And that's a risk I'm willing to take"
CrimeBrulee
Suicide bombing exists to spread terror in places you can't easily take a gun - that's why no one suicide bombs the US.
Leithoa
Suicide bombings exist wherever there's armed conflict against the state it has next to nothing to do with lack of guns. Now, machete /knife / van attacks, those reflect gun availability a little closer.
CrimeBrulee
I wanted to respond with sarcasm but I don't think you'd get it. Terrorists choose the most deadly means available. You only need a suicide bomb if you need to conceal the purchase or carrying if the weapon.
CrimeBrulee
You're conflating suicide bombs with IDEs. Which is a really awkward position to stake out in defense of gun rights, but you do you boo.
Leithoa
I said nothing about roadside bombs nor gun rights. Most suicide vests are also ieds so that's not a helpful term here. Grade 10/10 mental gymnastics but 0/10 on comprehension & engagement with the comment.
samuelthastings5
Damn
IMayNotKnowWhatIAmTalkingAbout
Holy fuck i never thought of it that way.
jadanks
A bunch of years ago world be suicide bombers realized that it was way more effective to go into a crowd of people with an assault weapon than bomb because they could take out way more people with a gun. The Boston bombing only actually killed 3 people and a lot more seriously injured. But look what happened recently in Maine. 18 people in two different locations and he was able to get away alive.
CrimeBrulee
Except they still have to suicide bomb in a lot of places bc you'll get stopped from buying or carrying an assault weapon. But not the good ol' USA.
JAPONfan
I think they start to see the error of writing in "sand stories" and "sand stories: the return of the lich" that suicide is bad. A mistake that the fanfic "the sand: story of trading alcohol for sex with minors" didn't made.
TheChunguskaEvent
so much tension over the fan fic final installments
OnlyOneAvailable
Can you please explain this comment? I’m just not getting it. Thank you.
Sasurau
Sand Stories: Judaism. The Return of the Lich: Christianity. The third references how Muslims don't drink alcohol and Muhammed's third wife Aisha, I'm betting.
JAPONfan
Mayfly10
It's referring to Judaism, Christianity ('the lich' is Jesus) and Islam.
Einstein9073
Aw fuck I was sure it was Dune
FearTheSquirrels
Old Testament, New Testament and Quran.
Voojagig
"Don't involve me in this crazy shit" -Jesus Christ
Vermonstrous
-“don’t involve me in this crazy shit”
- VERMONT
CheshireCad
It's fucking bonkers that a gospel that was written *two fucking millennia ago* is more progressive than most modern-day progressives. We've got scenes from The Muppets that have become a little bit 'problematic' in just 30 years of societal change.
lospaturno
sadly, instead, he's silent.
RufusTheThirteenthApostle
Mithi
Wouldn't he say "Oh my Dad"?