GloriousShinyBastard
160304
3314
98
Mar 13, 2018 1:58 PM
GloriousShinyBastard
160304
3314
98
TheresAGermanWordForThat
And then the code calls an Oracle DB.
bungie56
1500+ lines of assembler. Worked perfect for time. That was about 30 years ago. It's been a long long down hill slide.
numbonvalium
If it passes the first time, something went horrendously wrong and you need to find the false positive.
Fatmonkies
This meme is already over used.
Badsequence
And lo there was no need for the fabled rubber duck of programming to troubleshoot the situation the code worked looked like shit but worked
Lonelydad
(Optional) Then we test it to see if it works!
karan08
You shall not pass... Segementation fault.. or just bad code..
xDeAdFoXx
Seen alot of these lately. This one I enjoyed the most
PiGiSpi
If it runs on the first try I just assume there's a logic error somewhere that is giving me unexpected output
maxwilder
We compile to see where the next error is.
ChongKong69
zylokun
We feel like god for the next 3 weeks because holy fuck something actually worked right
TheNameOfThisUserIsRelevant
And then it runs but returns -856345$!@#$ as the ouput when it should have printed "Hello World"
EdibleLiquid
And then you run it to make sure it works but you forgot what you were supposed to code
IsDisassembled
Ah, the ol' "...what am I debugging again?"
WillemDaFriend
Oh, don't worry, there are always runtime errors
lolthisismyusername
And memory leaks.
AJMansfield
And buffer overruns that rewrite a bunch of function pointers and corrupt the stack in a way that throws off the debugger.
IsDisassembled
Reading this makes me glad I don't currently work in an environment that uses pointers.
KarakLohr
The very 1st thing I ever coded at my 1st job was a piece of Cobol maintenance. Had never worked with Cobol b4. It worked the 1st time. ???
Crzymofo24
I've never had that moment working on a batch file, let alone actual code. +1, but I can't relate
BronzeLeaguePro
Man, when you say stuff like that you make me glad I write Java.
lolthisismyusername
public static final String A_QUESTION "Spring Framework - yay, nay?";
BronzeLeaguePro
It has a bit too much magic for my tastes, but it's not bad. For smaller projects, I'd prefer SparkJava, and for larger, probably JEE7.
BronzeLeaguePro
JEE7 is nothing like J2EE, it's pretty comfy-tier now.
lolthisismyusername
Cool - thanks for the input! I'm a fullstack engineer, and I want work to move to GraphQL endpoints; wrote the proposal, need to make a POC.
guhnomee
Write a hello world program and still some how manage to fuck something up.
Raidenn
StephenOstermiller
The tests are broken.
lolthisismyusername
What tests?
ImLikeWhoaaa
*What being a programmer..I understand why your code doesn't work.
raykwondo
**what it feels like to be a programmer, if we’re being technical about it. But seriously I could never do what programmers do.You guys rock
SmokingGandalf
This is probably the best one I've seen so far
wesaskif
That moment where it works perfect the first time so you check to make sure your soul is still there.
GennaSansJ
But then you remember you sold it because that's how these things work.
HairyBallzonya
Then you try to make it more efficient and it all breaks anyways
tlouman
so true
idiotcube
Then you try to get it back to the point where it worked but now it doesn't work anymore.
HelloMyNameIsDarkoAndImAnImgurAddict
And then we wonder what we broke because there's no way it should have compiled clean the first time.
Paasimus
And then we spend the rest of the night in a paranoid fit trying to find out what the hell went right.
Wyattcon11
I took a coding class and it compiled on the first iteration when taking the final. I lost my mind trying to see where the mistakes HAD 2be
ashmenon
"Oh god I forgot to uncomment a line somewhere didn't I"
Zipp4Real
Or also " I forgot to close a statement somewhere, right? ....right?!....."
slax0rr
"Oh, I forgot to include everything from the main.cpp"
Dualpsiioniic
"the entire damn thing"
GhostOTM
Designed an entire 32bit multicycle processor in system verilog and had this happen. I nearly drowned myself for being a witch.
primorph
Real question. Does milk go sour in your presence?
jmaginary
I can do that too!! It's call using IP!!
IGoByMeme
You are. We'll drown you for ya
QuarterWatchCup
In my experience the complex stuff i thought through entirely builds on the first try, it's the simple stuff i did on autopilot that breaks
badbehavior
Ever tried to fix an of-by-one thing and actually use the wrong language?
sunyudai
Yes... I once sat down and wrote out an XSLT transform to solve an XML formatting issue in a TSQL xml column.... where you can't use XSLT.
AvatarBumi
Bet you were Xtra Salty
sunyudai
Aye. Xpath nowhere near as versatile, and I had to commit that gravest of SQL sins... I had to use a cursor.
EnochNek
I did a fpga!
ThePerfectTemperatureForHeresy
Burn the witch
NotRaiko
She turned me into a newt
fireking50
She turned you into a newt?
NotRaiko
I got better
DonkeyOfTroy
I made a 16 bit no pipeline with loops. In circuit diagrams. Using only ands ors and nots..
Mrdrewbeats
I'm applauding you right now
badbehavior
I actually made an IRC bot that compiles the chat using a shakespeare interpreter and runs the output as bash
GhostOTM
How is a IRC bot similar to a circuit pipeline? An IRC is a very cool project, but I don't see the link.
qaaaaa
This is an XKCD reference.
GhostOTM
Very cool. Sys Verilog, as I used it, is essentially circuit diagram shorthand that let you copy and paste parts of the circuit as needed.
DonkeyOfTroy
I wanted to, but it was my baby. I was gonna connect every single fucking line by hand even if it killed me.